Lost Euphoria

He slowly walked by without a care. As if everything in our past was simply disposed in an endless pit of shit where lay his sanity; among other things. I hate how everyone has made the definition of love a sport these days. Draco Malfoy....enough said. He, of course, had a list, rapidly growing as it was at the beginning of his six year. His father was finally sent to Azkaban and he was free to choose whom ever he pleased as his target. Girls weren't too afraid to approach him anymore either. He had rid himself of Pansy along with the rest of his future as a Death Eater. He was still a Slytherin, but not exactly the one that would be led into the darkness later on in life. Was his father upset? Why you can imagine the problems he got into with the death eaters.

Lucius Malfoy's son, Voldemort's left hand man, not follow in the footsteps of his father? How exactly he dealt with all of that is not important to this story. So with that said I will say this: He really had changed, and I found myself amazed while in his presence. Now I see him as I saw him in my fist year. As a cruel and uncaring ferret-looking git. A bit harsh to say considering that I once loved him. Yet I find myself saying that the man I loved was just an illusion.

There was a point in which all I wanted to do was watch him all day. To know what was going through his mind. To be the person he called his best friend. But then, could it really be possible that I just woke up one day and decided to go out with the guy that had been asking me repetitively to be his other half? I don't understand. When he could have any other girl he pleased. I still wonder what he had seen in me to have been so persistent.

I always seem to ask questions that I can never answer. He knows how...and maybe that's why I felt happy to be sharing my time with him. My unforgettable two months and four days. It never seemed like I was wasting my time back then. Now...it is something I try to erase from my memory. Draco saw me like no one else did. Not as Ron's little sister, or Harry's crush. But as the woman I had grown to be.

I couldn't but stare at him, as he walked down the hallway. He had become interested at the floor to my amazement. A Malfoy show weakness! This is beyond me! I keep staring at him and slowly he lifts his head. His eyes pick mine of all the people in the hallway. Then again my red hair stands out anywhere. It looks as if he hadn't been sleeping. I don't remember feeling this terrible before. It's not as if I could do anything about it. I give him a sideways smile and look in another direction.

He is the cause of my writing. His grey eyes bore into me like no others had. He had left his mark on me forever. Draco was the most handsome man I had ever met. I hated that he knew it.

~~~~~

School was a routine to me now. Go to classes, do the work...maybe sit by the lake with a book when the urge arose. I was now in my sixth year in Hogwarts and I was ready enough to leave and start a life on my own. Away from the people that had mocked me in my first year because of the Chamber of Secrets. From the people that called themselves my friend. Most importantly to be completely away from Draco. Luckily, that was in just five more months.

As I sat in my Potions class I wondered exactly what went wrong. What I had done to make things so extremely complicated as they were now. I wasn't worried so much about notes for to nights homework...that was simple. The answer was written in plenty of books. My problem on the other hand was not in any book known to me.

Potions was finally over, and Snape had given the class yet again a nights worth of homework. Not that I mind, it is actually my best class. Ron had looked so surprised the first time he heard that Snape treated me nicer than any other of the Gryffindors. He always had to bring it up when Snape failed him or when he got detention. You can imagine that he said it quite often.

~~~~

I always carried a Muggle book with me. I new my dad was a fan of Muggles but his collections on their books were just quite wonderful. This way I would learn new things as I read and not have to talk to anyone. I had just started The Bell Jar and it really was helping me with my never ending depression. Many had noticed and were interfering in my so called life. Hermione had even asked Madam Pomfrey a for some anti-depressant but I refused the offer and told her I was fine.

As I walked the grounds I looked up to the sky and saw the beauty of the sunset. The sky was really a canvas of colors. Turning all shades of reds and oranges that I know even the ceiling in the Great Hall couldn't interpret. Though it was quickly ruined. Someone was standing in front of the tree by the lake that I was about to pass. As I was coming nearer I opened my book and pretended to read. Draco knew that at the corner of my eyes I was looking at him.

I tried as best I could to show him that I was strong now and that I didn't need his comfort. I wouldn't dare show him any more of my weaknesses. He licked his lips and said hello. I pretended not to hear him and hoped that something or someone along the way would distract him. He pulled my arm back as I made an attempt to run. I kept looking at him and telling him to let me go, that he was hurting me. Nothing seemed to have mattered to him at that moment. He was looking at me as if he wanted to say something but lost for words he just continued to hold his grip on my arm. I did what any other person would have done. I slapped him. He immediately let go of my arm and all I could seem to do now that hehad let go was to stare at him. I had never seen him so hurt. So many emotions were playing in his eyes it was so difficult to interpret them. What amazed me was that he never once touched the spot in which I hit him. Not even raised his hand to me. What could I do now? Its gone too far.

I made a run for it. I ran faster than I has ever run before. The tears in my eyes burning and itching their way out. I ran and didn't stop until the cold air finally made my throat so dry that it was difficult to breathe. And then I noticed where I was standing.

The next thing I know a scream raised from my throat as I was hit with such force by something. I looked up and noticed that it was the Whomping Willow. I had gotten too close and it was demanding the space that it needed. I couldn't dodge the branches. What ever it was that was not allowing me to move was doing a good job of it. And bloody hell I couldn't stop screaming either. I could feel my skin being ripped with its enormous branches.

I heard Draco calling my name from behind trying to reach me before it as too late. His Quidditch skills allowed him to pick me up and carry me over to a safe distance away from the tree. I was still crying, and the more that I wanted to stop the more the tears came. I was in his arms again. It was like no other feeling. He didn't mind that his robes were being soiled with my blood. He held me close until my endless sobs became just whimpers. What happened next I do not remember. I must have fainted . That wasn't it important though. All I knew was that as I was being carried away to the hospital wing that I was safe.

Just like he had promised me before.