Beholden To No Man

Chapter 6

Aurelia's first impulse was to rush into the room, but Severus grabbed her arm. "Let me go," she insisted.

"He could be dangerous," Severus cautioned.

"He's not dangerous, he would have attacked us already. He's in pain." She pulled away from him and knelt at Remus' side. He was more man than wolf; it was as though the transformation had been frozen midway. "Remus, can you hear me?" His face definitely had a very human quality; she noticed he seemed more comfortable upright rather than on all fours, and the fur covering his body was much more sparse than it had been last time. She could clearly see his skin.

"Yeah," he said somewhat indistinctly, as though he could not fully form the words with a mouth that was not quite human.

"Are you in pain?"

"Yeah." He whimpered in a distinctly canine fashion as she examined him.

Looking into his eyes, she could tell that he was not lying. "Severus, get the Pain Relieving Potion on the second shelf." While she was waiting for the potion, she cast a quick diagnostic spell on Remus, and then frowned.

"What?" he asked.

"The pain is because your transformation was halted before the process was complete. This potion will help, though it might not be completely effective. I'm sorry."

"Okay," he panted.

Severus returned, a scowl firmly planted on his face as he handed her the potion. "Your potion."

She took the bottle from him and conjured a small glass. Turning her attention back to Remus, she said, "Tip your head back." Once he had obliged, she poured the potion down his throat.

He howled softly before replying, "Thank you". He reached his partially transformed hand out and gently placed it on hers.

"Let me make you more comfortable," she said, and conjured a cot for him.

"What are you doing?" Severus demanded.

"Look at him. I can't just let him sleep on the floor." She helped Remus onto the cot and covered him with the blanket. He continued his whimpering. Once again, she gave him an appraising look, still not satisfied with what she saw. "I can't give you a Sleeping Draught. It wouldn't react well with the Wolfsbane. At least the pain potion should help some." Gently she brushed his hair, trying to comfort him. "I'll come check on you again later." She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before turning to leave.

"Light," he muttered as he brushed a lock of hair to the side, away from his face.

With a wave of her wand, she lit the lamp on the wall.

Once she closed the door, Severus demanded, "Are you mad? You've given him fire, furniture, just think of the damage he could do!"

"Severus, you saw him. He's in full control of his faculties. There was no danger in allowing him a few comforts. Besides, the lamp is attached to the wall. He can hardly even stand." She started walking upstairs, not wanting to get into an argument where Remus could hear them. The fact that Severus didn't try to start one surprised her. There was something more that needed to be discussed, and she didn't think it could wait.

*************h

Severus followed her back upstairs, hoping to resume where they had left off, but he could tell from her body language that something was bothering her.

As she stepped into the living room, she said, "About what happened earlier..."

The color drained from Severus' face. "What about it?" he asked tentatively. He was about to hear what he had feared. She was going to tell him that it had all been a mistake.

"I really enjoyed it, it's just..." She looked away from him as her voice trailed off.

"Just what?" he asked tersely. It was coming. This was why he should have walked away, never taken the risk. He braced himself for the kick that was coming.

She replied nervously, "I think we should get to know each other a little better first. I don't want to rush things and end up making a mess of it.

He was stunned into silence. She wasn't rejecting him. In fact, she had just more or less stated that she could see a future with him.

"Severus?"

He looked into her eyes. "You...aren't rejecting me?"

"Why would I do that?"

"I..." He realized there was no good answer to this question.

"Why don't you give me a hand with dinner?" she asked gently.

He followed her into the kitchen. "I thought we knew each other quite well." He was so excited at the prospect of her accepting him that little else was penetrating his mind.

With a wave of her wand, she summoned the ingredients she needed for dinner. "As friends, yes..."

He could hear the hesitation in her voice, and that she wanted to say something more. Meeting her eyes, he arched an eyebrow, letting her know she could continue.

Turning back to her meal preparations, she said, "If you could do the vegetables? I mean, we get along all right. I enjoy spending time with you." Looking over her shoulder, she prompted, "The carrots?"

Snapped out of his thoughts, he asked, "What? Right." After he set the knife to chopping the carrots, he replied, "As do I." He didn't want to be too overt and risk her thinking he was desperate.

After a long silence, she said quietly, "I just... This is really hard for me, too."

He raised an eyebrow, surprised to hear her admit her feelings. "Perhaps we should discuss this further after dinner?"

Giving him a soft smile, she answered, "I think maybe we should."

After dinner, he was able to get her to stay downstairs for once after the girls had gone to bed. He forced himself to maintain his calm and not appear too eager, as difficult as it was. He was aided by the fact that she chose to sit in the chair. He chose to sit on the sofa in the hopes that she would change her mind and join him.

After half an hour of innocuous conversation, he said, "You could join me on the sofa. I promise to act the perfect gentleman."

She looked as though she was seriously considering his words. "I don't know."

"Aurelia, please."

Tentatively, she sat next to him, and after a little coaxing leaned against him. "That's not so bad, is it?"

"No. It's quite nice, actually."

He noticed that she seemed to be relaxing, and that pleased him. "I thought we could exchange presents tomorrow evening after the girls go to sleep. Something private."

"Should I be worried about what you have gotten me?"

"Not at all. I assure you that it will not embarrass you. I'm glad you decided to keep me company tonight."

"It's just hard for me to get used to someone else. After so many years with the same person..."

"This isn't exactly easy for me, either. I don't have a lot of dating experience."

"We'll figure it out." After a few seconds, she asked, "You didn't have any plans for New Year's, did you?"

"Nothing specific."

"The hospital is throwing a ball and I'm sort of expected to attend... If you'd like, I'd be honored to have you as my escort."

He was speechless. She was asking him out on a date, to a New Year's Ball at that. His heart sank as he realized there would be dancing, something he normally avoided like the plague. He also wasn't sure he was ready for this step. By going to the Ball with her, he would be announcing his intentions to the world.

"Severus?" She pulled away and looked at him.

"I would be honored to go with you."

"Are you sure?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, you took quite a while to answer. Why was that?"

He didn't want to tell her the whole truth. "If you must know, I am not the type of person who enjoys dancing."

She gave him an affectionate smile. "I won't make you dance if you don't want to. I just need you not to get upset if others ask me to dance."

He hadn't considered that. "I will do my best." He brushed a stray lock of hair away from her forehead and leaned down to kiss her. When he finally broke contact, he tried to remember what he had overheard in the common room years ago about kissing a woman. Though he had to admit, information overheard from hormonal teenagers twenty years ago might not be the best source of information regarding how to treat a woman. He started kissing her neck and in response, he felt her lacing her fingers through his hair.

Gently she pulled his head back and rested her forehead on his. She was panting softly. "We shouldn't be doing this."

He didn't quite believe the sincerity of her words. "Why not?"

She pulled away from him and moved toward the door. "First and foremost, my children are upstairs. Secondly, this goes against the decision we just made to take our time." She paused. "Now, I think I'd better get a few hours sleep before the moon sets."

He had forgotten about Remus. It was an easy thing to do, with her in his arms. "See you in a few hours?" he asked softly, hoping to build on the progress he had made.

"All right. Goodnight." She smiled warmly at him.

"Goodnight." After giving her one last kiss, he let her go upstairs. Leaning back on the couch, he mused that this situation was definitely improving. She had willingly sat next to him, invited him to the New Year's Ball, and hinted at the possibility they might one day be lovers. That was the best sign yet. He would have to return to the castle and get his Dress Robes. Perhaps his mother's advice had not been that bad after all. He would continue to let Aurelia set the pace, but he would gently prod her along, softly pushing to expand her comfort zone.

Thinking of the future, he headed upstairs to bed, tossing and turning, suffering from a horrible case of sexual frustration. He should have pushed her. It was clear that she cared for him. After all, she had mentioned that she could see them as lovers. It would have been easy to convince her. No. She is special. I must be patient with her. Let her come to me. Realizing that he wasn't going to get any sleep unless he relieved this tension, he reached beneath the covers, hoping this would be the last time he would have to take care of himself. It was so easy to imagine her hands wrapped around his throbbing shaft.

*************

When Aurelia woke after the moon set and dawn approached, she thought about waking Severus, but could hear the snores coming from his room and decided to let him sleep. After all, she shouldn't require any help. Remus should be fully recovered.

After standing outside the door a few moments, she decided it was safe to enter. "How do you feel?" she asked gently.

"Very sore."

"Interesting." She cast a diagnostic spell. "I can't detect anything amiss. I assume that since you were in pain the whole time the moon was up, your nerves have a residual memory. It should fade in a few hours. I don't want to give you any more Pain Relieving Potion in case it isn't residual, but I can give you a Sleeping Draught."

"That would be appreciated."

"Well then, let's get you upstairs. I'll give you the potion once you are settled. Do you think you can stand?" She knew that he was very independent and would want to do this on his own if he could manage it.

He nodded. "I think so." With Aurelia's help, he was able to rise to his feet. Slowly, the two of them made their way upstairs.

She was grateful the banisters were available for him to lean on as they climbed the stairs. "Did you want to rest?" she asked once they had made it out of the cellar.

"No. Let's just get it over with."

By the time she lowered him to Helen's bed, she had grown even more concerned about his well-being. He looked quite pale and was panting heavily. "Are you sure you're all right?"

"Just tired. I didn't really get any sleep."

She helped him get settled on the bed and sat next to him. "Drink this. It'll knock you out for a couple of hours. When I come back, I'll bring some breakfast and ask you some questions. I'll try to figure out where we should start next month."

He gripped her arm as she got up to leave. "You are going to abandon this line?"

"I have to. It's not working."

"You mustn't. It is working. Don't you see! You halted the transformation. If you can determine how, perhaps you can make it act even more quickly, stop it before it's too late."

"Remus, I can't possibly subject you to that again."

"Aurelia, please. I have faith in you." His grip loosened as the Sleeping Draught took effect.

She placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. "We'll talk more in the morning about how you feel. Once term starts, I'd like you to come back for a more in depth interview. That way we won't have Severus glowering at us."

He laughed weakly at her joke. "That's probably for the best. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night, Remus," she said softly before dousing the light and letting him get some much needed rest.

*************

When Severus came downstairs for breakfast, he found Aurelia preparing a tray, presumably for Lupin. "Is Lupin still in the basement?"

"No, I took him upstairs early this morning," she replied, as she finished putting the tray together.

"Why didn't you wake me?" he demanded.

She shrugged. "I didn't wake you because there wasn't much point in both of us losing sleep."

"What if something had gone wrong? What if he didn't transform back?" he scolded.

Hearing his tone of voice, she felt a little guilty for not waking him. She had never considered that possibility. "I am not helpless. He was not dangerous in his partially transformed state, and it wasn't likely that he would become more dangerous as the night went on."

"But you didn't know that for a fact." He knew she was smarter than this and shouldn't have made such a serious mistake. A part of him wanted to lash out at her, but the other part of him realized that would only drive her away. Through sheer effort of will, he forced himself to say no more.

Having him act so protective towards her made her smile softly. "I'm sorry. I should have considered that. I get a little over confident at times."

"So I've noticed," he replied wryly.

She arched an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Look who's talking." After several seconds of silence, she added, "Would you mind if I invited him to stay for lunch at least? I want to make sure he's well enough to travel. He was quite weak this morning."

"I suppose not," he replied. He did mind, but he had better start learning to compromise. That was something his mother had told him was important, a fact she had reinforced last night.

She smiled warmly. "Thank you for understanding. If you wait just a few minutes, I'll join you for breakfast."

While she was gone, he prepared two plates and poured himself a cup of coffee. He was on his second cup by the time she returned.

"Sorry. That took a little longer than I had anticipated. He's recovering much more quickly than I had expected, which is a good sign. I would like to bounce some theories off of you while you're here. I think I'm on the right track as far as halting the transformation, but it's still going to need quite a bit of work. And I'd like to work some sort of painkiller into the potion, but I'm not sure what would be effective without neutralizing the anti-transformation properties. I'll have to speak with Jeannette Miller in the Transformation Ward and see what she has to say. I've already built off of some of her research."

"Do you have that research available so I can review it?"

"Not here. But I'll ask her for a copy. She hasn't published it yet, but she had me read through her paper to make sure that she had included everything. I don't see why she wouldn't let you see her research, too, since you are helping on this project."

"Is there any particular reason why she isn't working on this particular aspect of the research with you?"

"She's still busy with her other projects. I'd rather work with you, though. She is very particular and controlling with her research partners, and they invariably end up playing the role of research assistants. My relationship with her is best conducted at arm's length, asking for each other's opinions on particular issues as they arise."

Aurelia heard her girls coming down the stairs. They were having a meaningless argument about who should go first.

"Children, behave," Aurelia admonished. They immediately calmed down. "Glad to see you decided to join us for breakfast."

"Mum, I don't have to sleep with her again tonight, do I?" asked Julia.

"You stole all the covers," declared Helen.

"Enough. Professor Lupin will likely be leaving today, so you can have your room back tonight, Helen. Honestly, you would think that living in a dormitory would have taught you to get along better than this."

"There's a difference between sharing a room and your very own bed, Mum," said Julia as she filled her plate.

"In keeping with the Christmas spirit, why don't the two of you try getting along? Now, once you've finished eating, both of you may clean up the kitchen. We'll be in the library."

"Are we going to the pageant this year?" Helen asked.

Aurelia kissed the top of Helen's head. "Of course we are, dear."

Once they were in the library, Severus asked, "Pageant?"

"Sorry. They put on a little show in the village square every year. It's become a sort of tradition that we go. You can come along if you'd like, though I do warn you, it is a Muggle affair."

"I think that it will be more entertaining than spending the evening here by myself. I shall attend."

"Well, thank you," she replied wryly, giving him a playful smile.

He arched an eyebrow, unappreciative of the humor in her voice.

"First, let me make some notes about what happened during this transformation cycle, and then we can get into the theories about how I was able to stop it. Maybe we can get it to work more efficiently to prevent transformation completely."

They spent most of the day working on the Wolfsbane Potion. He was pleased at how she was behaving toward him. Their conversation the previous night seemed to have relaxed her. During the course of the day, she would touch his arm to get his attention.

After dinner, they walked to the center of the village, near the large tree, for the pageant. As they were waiting for it to begin, Severus pulled at his clothes. He had always found Muggle clothing uncomfortable.

"Stop fussing. You look fine," whispered Aurelia.

"I can't believe we are standing out here in the snow waiting to watch an amateur performance of some sort."

"I would hardly call the few snowflakes something to dampen the mood. I think they add to the ambience." She smiled at him and shook her head when he snorted derisively. "No one made you come."

Once the performance started, Severus found it was more enjoyable than he had anticipated. The pageant consisted of several short plays with Christmas carol interludes. As the evening wore on, he noticed she was shivering, and he discretely cast a warming charm on her.

She leaned closer and whispered, "Thank you."

He was pleasantly surprised to discover that she remained close to him. He wasn't sure exactly what to do. Showing affection in public was not something he felt comfortable with. Fortunately, the pageant ended before the situation became too awkward.

On the walk home, Julia and Helen skipped ahead singing Christmas carols, their earlier animosity towards each other entirely forgotten.

"I love it when they get along so well," Aurelia mused.

"They are good children. Very well behaved."

"For the most part," she added. She looped her arm in his and leaned her head against his shoulder.

He was momentarily taken aback by her affectionate gesture, but he quickly recovered and placed his hand over hers. This was turning out to be quite an enjoyable evening despite being surrounded by Muggles.

Once they were home, she sent them up to bed before joining Severus in the library.

He was still fussing with his shirt, unhappy with the way it sat.

"You could change if you like," she offered while pouring them drinks.

"That's not necessary. Thank you," he said as he accepted the drink, looking forward to some quiet time together.

"So, what did you think of the pageant?"

He was pleased that she sat next to him without prompting. "It was enjoyable even if it was a little cold out." They talked about the pageant until the noise upstairs subsided, indicating the girls were in bed. "Would you like to exchange gifts now?"

"In a little while. I'd just like to sit here a few minutes." She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

**********

In the week between Christmas and New Year's Eve, Aurelia began to feel more and more comfortable around Severus. Some nights, they would take an hour or so after the girls went to bed to talk about potions. Other nights, the discussions would be more personal. Sometimes they would just sit quietly, enjoying each other's company, or she would read for a while from the book that he had gotten her for Christmas. It was a rare Potions book that she had been trying to acquire for several years. Still, even with all the time they spent together, they both were reluctant to discuss their pasts, even though they knew it had to be done eventually in order for their relationship to grow.

Aurelia had been pleased that Severus had not pushed her about their relationship. He seemed content with stealing a few kisses each night, at least for now. She knew that would change, and probably very soon. Once the girls returned to school, one of her reasons for moving so slowly would be gone. She still had a few days to think about that and come to terms with her feelings. And tonight would be the perfect opportunity to find out how others felt about her relationship with Severus.

Once she had put her earrings in, she stood and performed a fancy twirl for Helen, who had been watching her dress.

"You look pretty, Mum."

"Thank you." Aurelia looked at herself in the mirror. It had been a long time since she had dressed up like this. She was wearing newly purchased midnight blue velvet dress robes, sapphire earrings and, of course, the necklace that Severus had given her.

"I bet you'll be the prettiest witch there," said Helen.

"I don't know if that will be true, but thank you." As she headed toward the stairs, Helen raced ahead of her, letting the others know that Aurelia was coming. By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, everyone was waiting for her. She saw the momentary look of surprise on Severus' face before he regained his composure and smiled at her.

"You look lovely."

She couldn't suppress the blush. "Thank you." Turning back to the children, she said, "Now, girls, don't stay up too late."

Aurelia looped her arm in Severus'. "Ready when you are." They arrived in the Apparating area of the most extravagant wizarding hotel in London. A few people were milling around the lobby, but she thought that most would already be inside the ballroom. Severus tried to pull away from her, but she held tight. "I'm not going to let my handsome escort get away so easily."

Severus wasn't sure if he was disappointed or pleased that their arrival did not get a lot of attention. A part of him had thought that people would be whispering, amazed at his presence, at the fact he was with a woman.

"Severus, I'd like to introduce you to Marcus Stillwater, head of St. Mungo's."

Before Aurelia could even finish the introduction, Marcus had already thrust his hand at Severus. "Professor Snape. An honor to finally meet you."

Severus was taken aback by this attention. "Mr. Stillwater. A pleasure."

"Aurelia, we'll be making a presentation tonight, so the two of you will be up at the head table. Sorry I didn't tell you about this earlier, but it was only finalized today."

"A presentation?"

"An anonymous benefactor has donated a large sum of money to the Poisons Ward. I thought it fitting you accept it as the head of the ward."

"Of course. I'd be honored."

"Good. I'll see the two of you at the head table."

Severus had paled at the thought of being seated all evening in front of the entire room. He was not the type of person who liked to receive attention; he preferred hiding in the shadows.

"Is something wrong?" she asked quietly.

"No. I'll be fine. Why don't I go get us something to drink?"

"That would be wonderful. I'll be waiting here for you."

He thought it would take at least two or three drinks for him to feel comfortable at the head table. It was one thing to have so prominent a seat at school. The students tended to ignore him, and he had a habit of taking a seat at the end of the table, even now. This was an entirely different situation. He would be in front of the most important members of wizarding society.

"Snape? What are you doing here?" asked an accusatory voice.

***********

A/N: Once again, this chapter would not be what it is today without Zen Lady and nota beating me mercilessly when I try to do things out of character. This has been the most difficult chapter for me to write so far as I think they each saw about seven drafts. I thank everyone for their patience. Expect Chapter 7 in about two weeks due to travel and the fact I need to finish up a full first draft of it. Parts of it have already been to beta and back.