Beholden To No Man

Chapter 1

The start of another term. For so many years it had become routine. This one was far from routine. Many familiar faces were gone and much of the castle was still being rebuilt. He missed the routine. His life had been focused on routine. Now, it had all changed. And he wasn't sure if it was for the better.

He stood in a small receiving room off the Great Hall waiting for the unsorted second and third years. It had been decided to sort the twenty of them before the first years. Helen MacLean was among them. Aurelia was nearly positive her younger daughter would be sorted to Hufflepuff, but he wasn't so sure.

He glared at the Sorting Hat, sitting on the stool. He loathed the Hat. As soon as the headmaster's study was complete, he would be glad to have the Hat out of his possession.

There was a knock on the door, and Charlie Weasley stuck his head into the room. "They're all lined up. I'll go wait for the first years."

Severus nodded and waited for the first child. Hopefully this would not take long. As he recorded the houses for the new students, he let his mind wander to the Arrival Feast. He hoped that Adrian would not be as long winded as Albus had been. Of course, this year's speech was bound to be long as there were several new staff members to introduce and a plethora of other announcements regarding classes, dormitories and off-limit areas.

He was only half paying attention when Helen came in to be sorted. She smiled and said, "Good evening, Professor."

"Miss MacLean," he replied politely. This was as good a time as any for her to learn that their relationship at school would be different from the one they had had this summer. He nearly dropped his quill when the Hat pronounced she belonged in Slytherin. He had thought that she possessed the intellect to join her sister in Ravenclaw, but he had not expected the girl to be sorted to Slytherin.

"I'm glad I'm in your house, Professor," she said happily.

"Move along, Miss MacLean. There are others to sort before the first years arrive."

"Yes, Professor," she replied sadly.

He tried not to feel guilty about how he treated her. She had been warned that he could not be her friend anymore.

Once he finished the straggler sorting, he picked up the Hat and the stool and made his way to the Great Hall. When he walked through the main door to the Great Hall, a momentary silence fell across the room. As he made is way to the front of the room, he could hear the whispers start. He had expected this.

Staring at the front table, the absences were noticeable. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Flitwick, Hooch, and Slughorn, all victims of the war. Hagrid was also gone; the gamekeeper had not felt like staying on at Hogwarts after it was over and had moved into a remote are of Wales with his half-brother. In their places were Adrian Westmoreland, Kalliope Morris, Brendan White, Davis Connolly and Charlie Weasley.

He set the stool and Hat at the front of the room and spun on the students. When the whispers did not stop, he said sternly, "Silence." After a few seconds, he continued, "Tonight we welcome the new class to Hogwarts. As is our tradition, they will be sorted into one of the four houses: Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Gryffindor. You're your name is called, sit on the stool and put on the Hat. Anderson, Martha," he called out the name of the first student to be sorted. He had no intention of giving that foolish Hat a chance to sing its ludicrous song.

It took half an hour to sort the students. He recognized most of the names of those sorted to his house. He was quite surprised by the names he did not recognize. He had the impression that the Hat had sorted Muggle-borns into Slytherin; this was something that required some research as it should have been impossible for that Hat to do that.

Before they sat to the feast, they were forced to endure the Sorting Hat's song. He had warned the infernal thing that it would not sing this year, but it had ignored him. Had he not been in the Great Hall, he would have hexed it to a million pieces. Once the Hat was done, he placed it in the back corner of the Hall and took his seat next to Adrian.

The headmaster rose. "Welcome, students. I am Headmaster Westmoreland. As you are no doubt aware, there have been many changes at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Most of you know the deputy headmaster, Professor Snape." Adrian paused as there was a murmur from most of the students and polite applause from the Slytherins. "Heading Ravenclaw is Professor Sinistra and Professor Lupin is the new head of Gryffindor as well as our Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor."

Severus tuned out the rest of Adrian's speech as it devolved into introductions of the new staff members and short biographies on each. He tried to determine how the students felt about him. A part of him expected a series of owls in the morning that would call for his immediate resignation.

As he looked around the room, his gaze paused on Irma Pince. The dour librarian had been at Hogwarts as long as he had yet he had never really spent much time with her. In the past, he had considered forging a friendship with her, Albus had even encouraged it, but he knew it had been impossible under the circumstances.

Now that he was beholden to no man, perhaps it was possible. They had both been alone for a long time. He pushed that thought from his mind. Too much time had passed. Albus had been wrong. Severus had never planned on things turning out as they had, but everyone was content with the current arrangement. Why change it? After all, he had Aurelia's friendship. There was no need for him to forge a relationship with anyone else.

**********

The first week of classes had been difficult. He had hoped that the first years would not have been corrupted, but they had. The students seemed to forget that he had excellent hearing. Everywhere he went, he heard whispers of "he murdered Dumbledore." He was growing quite tired of these whispers. Surprisingly, the owls demanding his resignation had not come.

His Friday afternoon class was the Ravenclaw-Gryffindor fifth year class. As he dismissed the class, he said, "Miss MacLean, you will remain behind."

Her fellow students gave her a sympathetic look before filing out of the room. She moved to the front of the room, not sure if she was in trouble or not. "Yes, Professor?"

"I need you to speak with your sister. She does not seem to fully grasp the change in our relationship."

"Yes, sir. I'll talk with her." She waited to see if he had anything further to say. When he didn't, she turned to leave, but paused halfway up the stairs. "Professor?"

"Yes, Miss MacLean?" he replied without looking up from the papers he was grading.

"The whispers. They aren't all bad."

"Which whispers?"

"Not all the students think you are guilty of murder."

"I care little for what the students think." In fact, he did to a point. It was one thing for the students to fear and respect. It was quite another for them to believe you were a murderer. While at Aurelia's, he had read the articles that recounted the trial in which his name was cleared. He had even received an Order of Merlin, First Class. He supposed that award had a lot to do with his reacceptance into society. Of course, he had not received it in a public ceremony. Shortly before the start of term, a Ministry Official had come by the school and handed it to him. The official explanation had been that it was announced when the others received theirs and there was no point in having a ceremony this far after the fact.

His concentration was brought back to the present by the sound of the door closing. He planned to spend the hour before dinner grading assignments. If he were going to spend weekends working with Aurelia on the Lethifold paper, he would need to use his time efficiently. And after this week of classes, he needed the time away and a friend to discuss the week. Adrian would not fulfill that role. The last thing he needed the headmaster knowing was that he cared what the students thought about him.

**************

Severus paced across his room. Every time he turned, his eyes paused on the box on the table. He tried to tell himself that he had nothing to be nervous about. He had spent the last four Saturdays at Aurelia's house working on the lethifold paper. He should not be nervous about going to see her. When the clock on the mantle chimed, he knew that he would have to leave soon. Once again, his eyes paused on the box.

It was nothing, just a simple thank you present. He had noticed that her pestle was cracked. After checking with Julia that Aurelia had no sentimental attachment to the old one, he had purchased her a new one. It wasn't as though this was a personal gift, such as jewelry. This was a thoughtful thank you gift from a friend, right? Then why was he so nervous?

He was about to close the door when he decided he would take the gift. Shrinking the box so that it fit in his pocket, he headed out of the dungeons. The last thing he needed was anyone asking questions.

Unfortunately, his departure was not destined to go unnoticed. Adrian was heading towards the door at the same time he was. He scowled, hoping the headmaster would leave him alone, but he knew that was highly unlikely.

"Ah, Severus. Beautiful day for a walk, isn't it?" he asked cheerfully.

Severus grunted in reply, hoping it would discourage further conversation. They had developed a decent working relationship, but Severus still found the man entirely too cheerful.

"Heading to the Three Broomsticks or perhaps to pick up some supplies?"

"Neither," he replied bluntly.

"A lady friend, then?"

"What I do on my own time is none of your concern."

"Of course. I've been meaning to ask you what you think about Professor Morris. I was quite concerned about her arriving so close to the start of term."

"She seems to have earned the respect of the students. When I surveyed her class, she had adequate classroom skills."

"Is that the only opinion of her you have?"

"What are you getting at, Adrian?"

"Nothing, nothing. I just thought that you could use a friend here. I know that you and Remus have too much history, and you have never been particularly close to any of the others. I just thought you might enjoy the company of someone your age."

"If you are trying to 'set me up', you can desist now."

"Not interested in her, eh? Perhaps Brandon?"

Severus refused to even dignify that remark with an answer.

They walked in silence for several minutes before Adrian continued. "You will forgive my curiosity, won't you? I'm just trying to ensure that whatever you have been doing won't impact your work."

"And you are this interested in everyone's personal life?" Severus had always been a private man. Of course, he had never had a personal life before.

"To an extent, yes."

"I assure you, what I do in my spare time will not effect the performance of my job."

"Of course. I hadn't really expected it would. I just thought that you might be moving on with your life."

Severus was trying to figure out what Adrian was getting at. He knew that Adrian and Dumbledore had been acquaintances and that the two men had discussed him, but he had no idea about the extent of those discussions. He was beginning to get the impression Adrian was taking far too great an interest in his personal life. "Adrian, I truly have no interest in discussing my personal life with you, or anyone else. I am an adult and capable of making my own decisions." He was thankful they were almost at the gates and he could finally get away from the questioning.

"Of course. Say hello to Healer MacLean for me," he said casually as he walked on to the village.

Severus paused for a few seconds before Disapparating. It seemed that Adrian was as all knowing as Albus had been.

As he approached Aurelia's house from down the street, he was pleased that she was keeping the more complex wards he had taught her. Some of them were variations of the protective spells on Hogwarts. When he knocked on the door, it was answered almost immediately. "Good morning, Aurelia."

She smiled at him. "Good morning, Severus. Please, come in."

As he always did, he asked, "Have you noticed anyone following you?"

"No. It seems that I've been forgotten. I'm not going to complain. I assume everything is secure at school?"

"Yes. You know that I would notify you immediately if it wasn't."

"Just as you know I would do that same for you. Did you get a chance to go through the draft I sent you?" she asked as they walked toward the library.

He pulled several rolls of parchment out of his robes. "I have. I have a few suggestions, and then I think it will be ready for publishing if you agree."

She grabbed the first roll of parchment and unfurled it. "Let's have a look."

Aurelia spent more than an hour going through the scrolls. During that time, Severus worked to prepare lunch.

He was interrupted when Aurelia asked, "Is it that time already?"

"Nearly. What is your opinion?"

"I think it's ready for submission. I don't really have anything to add." She set the table while he was finishing lunch. "I wonder if we'll be laughed at for submitting this paper. I'm sure people will think we are insane for having undertaken that foolish quest."

"I think it will be met with disbelief. Have you made any further headway on determining any other uses for the essence?"

"Nothing I haven't already written you about. I'm loath to do too much testing on what I have. I would hate to waste any more. Are you sure you don't want to take any with you?"

"I do not have time to devote to research at the moment." He placed the food on the table and joined her. "Being Deputy entails more work than I had imagined. Between classes and the administrative details, I am quite busy. I look forward to coming here a few hours each week to relax."

"Well, I'm glad that I can provide you with some refuge from the chaos. I know there are many days I relish being able to come here and relax." She took a bite. "Very good job with the chicken. I'm still amazed that someone living at Hogwarts most of the year would know how to cook."

"As you say, I am only there part of the year. Summers, I have always been on my own. After having gotten used to the excellent food during the school year, I decided to hone my culinary skills." He paused a few seconds before continuing. "I'm glad you like it."

They didn't speak much the rest of the meal. Severus thought she appeared lost in thought, probably about the paper. He was considering the box in his pocket, trying to decide if he should give it to her. The resolve he had found before leaving Hogwarts was waning.

Before it could completely fade, he pulled the box from under the table and placed it between them before enlarging it.

"What's this?" she asked.

"A small token of my thanks. Please, open it."

Moving her plate to the side, she took the box and looked at it curiously before opening it. There was something heavy wrapped in tissue paper and she removed it from the box. She was quite surprised to see a new pestle. "Thank you, Severus. I've been meaning to purchase a new one, but haven't gotten around to it yet. It's very thoughtful, but it wasn't necessary."

He got up and cleared his plate. "After all that you did for me, it was the least I could do."

She cleared her plate as well. "Still, thank you very much." She placed her arm on his and reached up to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

Severus froze and watched her take his gift down to the cellar. A woman had just kissed him, something that had rarely happened.

***************

Severus sat in the staff lounge, enjoying the Strings Hour on the Wireless. This was all part of his routine, his way of relaxing at the end of the day. Part of his new routine. In the past, he might have played chess with Minerva. When their chess matches had started, he had not been very good, but over the years, his skill had come to match hers. He wasn't sure he wanted to play the game anymore. It reminded him too much of everything he had lost in the war.

Now, he generally graded papers, but tonight, he just wanted to unwind. He would grade the rest of the exams tomorrow. Staring at a book on arcane magic he had found in his last trip to Diagon Alley, he found he was not really reading it. His mind was lost on other thoughts.

He still had one promise to Albus left to fulfill, but he was no longer sure it was for the best. At the beginning of term, it had been easy to ignore that promise. Now, the more time that passed, the more often he considered carrying out that promise.

His reasons were not altruistic. Was it right to disrupt a life for his selfish desires? 'When it's over,' he had told Albus. Well, it was over, wasn't it? Shouldn't he right the wrong? But she is happy not knowing me. What point would there be in telling her the truth? For now, this was all the rationalization he needed. He was a grown man capable of making decisions for himself.

"Lovely music, wouldn't you say?" asked Brandon White as he took the chair next to Severus.

Severus grunted in reply, hoping to be left alone.

"I've noticed you in here quite a bit and was wondering if you had a favorite composition? I've always been partial to Masden's Solstice Night, though his Equinox Eternal is also a wonderful piece, if a bit more melancholy."

Severus was beginning to realize that the odds of having a quiet night were quickly decreasing. "Both works are passable," he replied. Adrian had admonished him to be more sociable after he had gone off on Kalliope Morris. When she began flirting with him, he had a strong suspicion that Adrian had encouraged her, and he did his best to discourage her.

"My sister sent me this wonderful bottle of brandy, and I was wondering if you might like to share some?"

Severus looked at White, trying to determine the man's motivation. The reminder to be polite rang in his head. And he had been contemplating refilling his glass. No doubt whatever brandy White's sister had sent was better than the bottle he had found on the credenza. "Thank you." He watched as White poured out two glasses and accepted the one he was handed. Checking the clarity, it had a beautiful amber color. He swirled it for a few seconds, warming the liquid, before taking a sip. "It is quite excellent."

"My sister has excellent taste. She's the sommelier at one of the more exclusive restaurants in London. I'm glad you appreciate it, though I thought you might."

Severus took a rather large gulp of his drink at the smile that White was giving him. He could almost swear the man was flirting with him. At that horrifying thought, he made a good dent in what remained in his glass. When he looked back at his companion, White had his eyes closed and was gently swaying his glass in time to the music.

"This is the way a day should end: lovely music, a nice drink, roaring fire and in the company of a friend."

Severus helped himself to more of the brandy. "Quite." He couldn't think of anything else to say that would not find him summoned to the headmaster's study.

White picked up the book Severus had been reading. "Ah, this is a fascinating tome. If you are interested, I have quite a private collection and could let you borrow some of them. Irma has been trying to talk me out of several of them."

Severus wondered if he should accept the offer. He was naturally intellectually curious, and the chance to see books that he may not have previously read was nearly irresistible. At the same time, he was wary of the way White was looking at him. He thought back to the glib comment Adrian made earlier in the term. He began to wonder if Adrian had made it his personal mission to make his life a living hell. A personal life should be just that. "Perhaps when I have more time," he replied in a non-committal tone.

"You know, if there's anything any of the rest of us can do to help out, I'm sure Adrian wouldn't mind if you delegated some of the tasks. History doesn't really change from year to year and I dare say that grading essays takes far less time than analyzing potions." White flashed a flirtatious grin.

Severus wanted to lash out at White, but knew the real culprit was Adrian. "I'll keep that in mind if I need assistance." Hearing the announcer on the Wireless, he realized Strings Hour was over. "If you will excuse me, I have exams to grade."

Instead of heading for the dungeon, he headed straight for the headmaster's study. He didn't knock, but barged through the door. The room appeared to be deserted. "Where are you?" he growled.

From the upper level, he heard, "Ah, Severus, what an unexpected surprise."

Storming up the stairs, he found Adrian stargazing. "What was the meaning of that?" he demanded.

"You're going to have to be more specific, Severus. I'm not a mind reader, you know."

"You know damn well what I'm talk about. Last week, it was Morris you sent after me. This week, it was White. Oh, I'm sure you weren't overt about it, but I've seen the way you drop little hints to prod people along. You're as bad as Dumbledore. No. You're worse. He never meddled in my personal life."

"Really, you are overreacting. I did no such thing. Brandon is a friendly man. I'm sure you're just imagining things."

Severus fumed at the innocent look Adrian was giving him. "Stay out of my personal life and quit dropping hints to various members of the staff about how I feel about them." He stormed out of the study, feeling no less angry than when he arrived.

*************

With the paper published, Severus found he had little reason to visit Aurelia, and he found he missed spending time with her. They still corresponded, but he missed the long conversations. She was the first person he had met with whom he had been able to have stimulating discussions about potions. He heard his door open and looked up. "What do you want?" he growled.

"Ah, still irritable, I see," said Adrian.

Severus put down the parchment he had been sorting through. "As you can see, I am quite busy going through supply requisitions. I would like to finish this so that I can begin on grading essays."

Adrian took a seat, deciding not to wait for the invitation. "What are your plans for the Christmas Holidays?"

Severus did not look up from his work. It was still four weeks until the holidays and he had not considered his options. "I have not yet decided."

"As you can imagine, I'm trying to make sure we have enough staff members here to supervise the students. Full moon is over Christmas, so Remus won't be available. Grinelda and Charlie, quite obviously, want to spend time with their families. Pomona and Hespera will be staying. Kalliope has indicated she will probably be remaining. Additionally, the staff Christmas party will be the Thursday before everyone leaves for holiday. I'll expect you to be there. Oh, we'll be doing Secret Santa this year."

As much as Severus loathed social functions, he had always realized the importance of attending them. He replied dryly, "I can hardly wait. Is that all?" He was still quite irritated about the interruption, especially for something so trivial.

"For the most part, yes." Adrian rose from his chair. "You spend too much time in this office. You should get out more."

Severus chose to ignore the headmaster and was relieved when the man left without saying anything else. Now, he was going to be stuck selecting a gift for one of his co-workers. Deciding nothing good could come from dwelling on that, he went back to work.

It was nearly nine o'clock when Severus finished the requisition sheets. He had several questions about the second term requisitions for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Lupin seemed to not only believe that Hogwarts had an unlimited budget, but that he was not required to completely fill out the forms. There were several items on the list that Severus saw as extraneous. In order for him to fill those requisitions, he would have to cut back on Potions supplies, or find a way to collect ingredients himself, which was not an option given his lack of time.

Deciding to investigate the requisitions, he headed up to Lupin's office. When he found the office deserted, he clenched his jaw and checked the staff room. Lupin wasn't there either. It was still more than a week until full moon so Lupin should have been easy to find. A check of Lupin's quarters showed he wasn't there. Severus wondered where his Dark Arts professor could be.

Rather than waiting until morning, he decided to return to Lupin's office and see if there was more information on the requisitions there.