Rating:
G
House:
Riddikulus
Characters:
Harry Potter Hermione Granger Ron Weasley
Genres:
Humor
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone
Stats:
Published: 04/21/2003
Updated: 04/21/2003
Words: 545
Chapters: 1
Hits: 1,071

Point. Grunt.

PeterMurray

Story Summary:
The troll\\\'s version of what happened that Hallowe\\\'en in book one. Translated from the Trollish, apart from the title.

Posted:
04/21/2003
Hits:
1,071
Author's Note:
Thanks to Anne for beta-reading this story, which was inspired by her comment 'Poor troll, no one respects him' on 'Hermione vs the Troll'. I claim that Trollish doesn't have tenses, pronouns or even gender.

Point. Grunt.


'Anyone can speak Troll,' said Fred dismissively. 'All you have to do is point and grunt.'-- Goblet of Fire chapter seven.

Rarg sit, Grug tell tale, not Rarg. All sit, not talk. Grug talk. Rarg not talk. All not talk.

Grug start tale now!

Is cool day wrap-head man come see Grug. Man have magic stick. Grug know magic stick from old time. Magic stick bad. Grug no like magic stick.

Grug say hail, food. Grug much fun!

Wrap-head man point magic stick, say words make Grug hurt.

Grug say hail, wrap-head man. Wrap-head man no fun.

Wrap-head man say Grug go school.

Grug say Grug no need school, Grug much smart now.

Wrap-head man point stick, say more words make Grug hurt more.

Grug say stop. Man stop. Grug not like wrap-head man.

Man say Grug go school, scare folk.

Grug say Grug no need school for scare folk, Grug scare folk good now.

Man point stick more, say words, Grug hurt more.

Man say Grug go scare school folk.

Grug say Grug see now.

Grug hungry now. Grug see fruit-tree. Wrap-head man shout at Grug. Grug eat fruit-tree, spit pips on man, spit bark on man. Man shout more.

Man have magic rock. Grug touch rock. Rock make Grug go school.

No laugh, Rarg! Rarg tell story? No! Grug tell story! Rarg quiet now! Wrap-head man come back, Rarg go school! Grug stay home.

Grug in tunnel. Grug say, what, is game of play role? Wrap-head man no laugh. Wrap-head man dumb. Wrap-head man say under school now.

Wrap-head man say man go tell folk Grug here in school. Man say Grug stay.

Grug think wrap-head man dumb. Grug scare folk good if not know Grug here. Grug not like wrap-head man.

Grug no stay. Grug want food. Grug go up steps. Grug hear folk, see door. Grug smell food. Grug hear wrap-head man in room. Grug know wrap-head man no want Grug go in, get food. Grug no smash door. Grug no see folk. Grug sniff, no smell folk Grug side of door. Grug go up more steps. Grug no see folk. Grug sniff. Grug smell folk. Grug go in door.

Grug see small bush-hair man. Man try hide. Man scream. Glass-eye man, red-hair man come in. Glass-eye man make noise. Glass-eye have magic stick. Grug club want hit glass-eye. Red-hair man make noise. Grug club want hit red-hair.

Grug scare small bush-hair good. Glass-eye make more noise. Glass-eye man try pull bush-hair man out. Grug roar, go red-hair, want hit red-hair. Glass-eye jump, put sharp stick in Grug nose. Grug hurt. Grug howl much. Grug try hit Grug back with club. Grug think that not smart. Grug stop hit Grug back. Grug back hurt. Grug nose hurt.

Red-hair man have magic stick. Red-hair say words, Grug club go now. Grug no know where club go. Big thing hit Grug head. Grug hurt. Grug fall down, go sleep.

Grug not think now. Grug sleep, not know what folk do.

Wrap-head man wake Grug up. Bush-hair, glass-eye, red-hair man not here. Grug club here. Wrap-head man have magic rock. Grug touch rock, rock bring Grug home. Wrap-head man yell at Grug much.

Grug not like wrap-head man.

Grug stop tale now!