Hermione versus the Troll

Hermione versus the Troll

Hermione had been crying in the girls' toilets all afternoon, ever since Ron Weasley had been so rude about her after Charms. 'No one can stand her'? 'A nightmare'? 'No friends'?

She thought, 'All right, nobody does seem to want to be my friend. I've tried making friends. I was friendly towards Ron before we found that stupid three-headed dog, wasn't I? And he doesn't even know I was trying to be his friend.'

'Or maybe, he just doesn't care?'

There was supposed to be a big feast in the Great Hall for Hallowe'en, but she wasn't in the mood to go to it. She wondered if anyone had even noticed she wasn't there. Probably not.

Maybe she should go, just to show them she didn't care what they thought about her. Though ... after she'd missed a whole afternoon's classes, and after Parvati heard her crying, and Hermione'd told her she wanted to be left alone, wouldn't they know that she did care?

Maybe they'd like her better for caring?

Hermione sniffed and a foul stench reached her nostrils, a mixture of old socks and the sort of public toilet nobody ever seems to clean. The toilets hadn't smelt that bad when she came in -- what was happening? She could hear a low grunting and the shuffling footfalls of gigantic feet. Perhaps Millicent Bulstrode had come in to use the toilets? She opened the cubicle door and went out.

It wasn't Millicent, but it was a horrible sight. It was twelve feet tall, with dull, granite-grey skin. It looked as if someone had taken a boulder and perched a coconut on top for a head. It had short legs, long arms, a truly incredible smell and a wooden club.

It was also alive. Hermione recognised the description from Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them -- it was a troll. On balance, she thought she much preferred the small green-haired plastic troll on the shelf behind her bed at home. It didn't smell as bad, for one thing, and it had never eyed her aggressively and raised a wooden club threateningly at her.

She could hear voices outside. One seemed to be saying 'Why did it stop? We can't lock it in!', but she couldn't pay much attention to that. The troll was standing just inside the door -- its left foot was still in the corridor, so it completely blocked the door.

She decided that if trolls were as stupid as the book had said, it was worth trying to bluff it. She couldn't get out of the room any other way.

'Excuse me! I came in here for some piece and quiet -- if you don't mind!' She advanced towards the troll, wagging her finger at it. It retreated a step, apparently bemused by her actions, and uncertain of what she might do next. Now only its head was in the room, as it was leaning forward.

She pulled out her wand and advanced again. 'Besides, this is a girls' toilet, and you're not a girl!' she snapped at it. It took another step backwards, and was now completely back in the corridor.

'Look out, it's coming back out!' shouted a voice -- Ron's, she thought. Ha! Let him see how a 'nightmare' deals with trolls!

The troll had turned away from the door, and moved towards the shout. Hermione followed it out, to avoid being trapped in the toilets if it came back. She saw that it was advancing towards Harry and Ron, who were backing away and looking scared.

'Honestly!' she snapped at them. She gestured with her wand, transfiguring the large wooden club into matchstick-sized pieces, which dropped to the floor in a heap. The troll didn't seem to realise what had happened, and raised its arm and brought it down again, in a way that would've done serious injury to Harry if it had still been holding the club. Now it had realised the club had gone, and raised its arm to look at where it wasn't. Since the club was still gone, it lumbered towards the boys, its arms outstretched.

'Wingardium Leviosa!' Hermione said, swishing and flicking her wand as Professor Flitwick had shown them. For a moment, nothing happened, and she began to worry that she hadn't learnt the new spell well enough to levitate something so heavy. Then, to her relief, the troll rose into the air, gaining speed as it went, until it hit the corridor's ceiling with a loud and painful-sounding thud. She let it fall back down.

'We were coming to warn you about the troll,' said Harry, looking at the unconscious troll in disbelief. 'Maybe we should have warned the troll.' Hermione laughed, partly from released tension, partly -- well, it was a compliment, of sorts.

A sudden slamming and loud footsteps from further along the corridor made the three of them look up. They hadn't realised quite how noisy the troll had been, but of course, someone downstairs must have heard the crashes. A moment later, Professor McGonagall had arrived in the corridor, closely followed by Snape, with Quirrell bringing up the rear.

Quirrell took one look at the troll, let out a faint whimper and collapsed against a wall, clutching his heart. Professor McGonagall was looking at the three Gryffindors standing around the troll. Hermione had never seen her look so angry, McGonagall was usually more likely to smile at her. 'What on earth were you thinking of?' she said with cold fury in her voice. 'You're lucky you weren't killed. Why aren't you in your dormitory?'

'We were looking for Hermione, to warn her about the troll, because she wasn't at the feast,' said Harry, looking back at the troll.

'And when we got here, it was running away from her,' said Ron, exaggerating slightly.

'Well -- in that case ...' said Professor McGonagall, staring at the three of them. 'Miss Granger, you foolish girl, how could you think of tackling a mountain troll on your own? Why didn't you run away from it?'

Hermione gulped. 'I was in there,' she said, pointing to the door to the toilets. 'The troll was blocking the only way out. I had to bluff it -- I've read about how stupid they are.'

'And she saw it threatening us, and wrecked its club, and then levitated it to knock it out,' said Ron.

'Well,' said Professor McGonagall, seemingly at a loss for words. 'In the circumstances, you do seem to have had few options. Well, I still say you were lucky, but not many first years could have taken on a full-grown mountain troll. Miss Granger, you win Gryffindor five points. Professor Dumbledore will be informed of this. You'd better get off to Gryffindor tower, if you're not hurt at all. Students are finishing the feast in their houses.'

The three of them hurried along the corridor toward the stairs, and kept walking until they had climbed two floors up. It was a relief to be away from the smell of the troll, quite apart from anything else. Harry stopped, and the other two stopped and looked at him. Harry said, 'Thanks, Hermione.'

Ron nodded, 'Yeah, thanks. I wasn't too keen on the look of that club.'

'You could have run away, you know. You weren't stuck in a room with just one door,' she said.

'It's a bit scary, having a dirty great troll coming towards you!' protested Ron.

'I know,' she said.

'Thanks for helping us, even if we could have run away, because we didn't,' said Harry.

'Well, thanks for coming to warn me,' Hermione said. 'Even if you did wish you'd warned the troll.'

'That was a joke!' protested Harry, before realising she was teasing them.

They had reached the portrait of the Fat Lady. 'Pig snout,' they said and entered. The common room was packed and noisy. Everyone was eating the food that had been sent up for them. The three hurried off to get plates and catch up.

But from that moment on, Hermione Granger had two friends. There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.

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