Lucky Charms

Seamus was humming a song to himself. It was a song about stripping, and it always gave him a good laugh whenever he was feeling down. It was working. It would have put a little skip into his step if he had let it, but Seamus had decided long ago that a skipping Seamus was a dying a virgin Seamus, so he contained it.

Still, he couldn't help it if his head bobbed a little.

"We're just following ancient history. If I strip for you, would you strip for me? Hay! Hay!" Seamus mumbled softly under his breath.

"Why Finnigan, are you propositioning me?" A voice drawled out and Seamus froze. It was a male voice. But it wasn't Blaise, it was

"Malfoy! Please! I wouldn't touch you even if I were you!" Seamus retorted.

Oh god, that was lame. I think it deserves a trophy with a very special title: "Worst Comeback in the History of Hogwarts that Wasn't Said By Ronald Weasley"

"Clever, Finnigan. How long have you been saving that one?" Malfoy asked sarcastically and stepped in front of Seamus, blocking his way.

Seamus scowled at him, and because he couldn't think of anything clever in response to that, he got straight to the point.

"What do you want, Malfoy? I'm hungry, and the sight of your pasty face is making me lose my appetite," Seamus said off the top of his head. All in all, he was rather pleased with himself. At least, he tried to make an effort when it came to Slytherins.

Malfoy's smirk widened, and he said softly, "I know all about your hungry appetites, Finnigan."

Seamus tensed, and yet he still wasn't that worried. Malfoy didn't know anything. He was just fishing. Well, Seamus wasn't going to take the bait.

"Oh?" Seamus asked nonchalantly and with a slightly bored tone, as if talking to Malfoy was a terrible chore.

Malfoy's smirk faded a little, and his eyes narrowed into angry slits. This wasn't the reaction he was expecting. He thought that Finnigan would react quickly like Potter, but he was wrong. It was more difficult to rile up Finnigan. Still, a Gryffindork is a Gryffindork. They really were all the same.

Malfoy sneered and said, "Yes. If I'd known that you had a thing for dark haired Slytherin boys, I would have teased you mercilessly about it years ago."

Seamus choked. His precious calm vanished almost as if it had never existed, and the next thing he knew, he was slamming Malfoy against the wall, and his right fist was poised to strike Malfoy in the face. But before he could land a blow, Seamus felt a burst of energy hit him in the chest and propel him backwards. He landed painfully on his ribs, and the breath was ripped out of him.

"Fuck, Finnigan, There's no need to be so touchy. Now you've infected me with all your half blood cooties. Eww," Malfoy said disdainfully and began brushing away invisible germs from his arms and chest.

Seamus was breathing hard and seeing spots. He was sprawled on the floor and clutching his side. He was not quite out, but definitely stunned. He still had the sense to slowly move his hand towards the wand in his pocket.

But before he could get to it, Malfoy had flipped him over on to his back and was towering over him with his wand aimed at his head. Wincing in pain, Seamus silently glared up at the pointy faced Slytherin.

"Don't attempt to grow a brain, Finnigan. You might hurt yourself," Malfoy taunted, and Seamus' hand clenched, but stayed away from his pocket.

Seamus glared up at the business end of Malfoy's wand with angry eyes and impatiently asked him, "What do you want, Malfoy?"

Malfoy relaxed a little, confident in his control of the situation, and lowered his wand somewhat. Then he brought his hand up to his face and began tapping his lips in a thoughtful manner. After several minutes of silence, Seamus was now becoming extremely worried. What was Malfoy planning? And how did he know about him and Blaise? There wasn't even a 'him and Blaise'!

Malfoy frowned and said, "I honestly can't think of a single thing, Finnigan. You have nothing of any value to me, you're not my type, and you're not nearly as fun to harass as Potter. Tell you what, why don't I just hold on to this incriminating piece of parchment and get back to you on that. Hmm?"

Seamus' mouth opened in horrified shock, and he was glad that he was laying on the floor because his legs had instantly turned to jelly. Air was rushing in and out of his lungs, but he felt like he couldn't breathe. Malfoy had his parchment. He knew that he wanted to shag Blaise Zabini.

He was a dead man.

"Don't tell him! Please don't tell him! I'll do anything," Seamus promised loudly. A part of him was horrified that he was sacrificing his self respect like this, but the other part of him promptly kicked that pride filled part in the arse and told him to shut up. Nothing else mattered except Zabini not finding out about this, not even his pride.

Seamus watched Malfoy with wide frightened eyes and waited for the blonde boy to put him out of his misery. He didn't really expect Malfoy to do the right thing, but he was still hoping that they could work something out. Seamus frowned when he saw an indescribable look pass through Malfoy's eyes only to vanish away quickly.

"As I much as I enjoy the sound of a Gryffindor begging, I think I'm willing to make a deal with you, Finnigan. If you do something for me, I swear on my house that I won't tell Blaise about his role in your little sexual fantasy," Malfoy said with a soft chuckle.

Seamus swallowed thickly and inhaled a deep breath. He had a feeling that it was going to be bad, whatever it was, but anything was better than Zabini finding out about him and looking at him out of pity or mockery.

"What do you want me to do?" Seamus asked hesitantly and bit his lip.

Malfoy smiled and his eyes lit up completely. He knew he had Seamus exactly where he wanted him, and it felt great.

"I want you..."

Seamus felt bile rising in his throat at the unwanted mental images.

"...to tell Blaise that you want his body."

Seamus choked and coughed out, "What?"

"Don't play dumb, Finnigan. It doesn't become you. I know you heard me, but I'll speak slower because you're probably in shock. I want you. To tell Blaise. That you want him. To fuck you. And I want you to do it in front of the whole school."

"I won't do it!" Seamus stammered out fiercely. He should have known better than to think that Malfoy would do anything but fuck with him. Bastard. Seamus promptly said the hell with it, and reached in his pocket for his wand. He would gladly take a hexing over public humiliation any day. Malfoy obviously had other ideas.

Case in point, the foot that was currently kicking him in his already pain filled ribs. Seamus' vision swam. He was now seeing three pointy ferrets glaring down angrily at him instead of just one.

"Oh, you will do it. Because if you don't, I will do it for you, and I swear to you Finnigan, I will warp everything I know so badly that Blaise and every one else in this damn school will never want to touch you, let alone participate in your disturbed fantasies. Do I make myself clear?" Malfoy asked brazenly, as if Seamus had a choice.

"Yes," Seamus said stiffly.

"Excellent. Now I really don't care what you do afterwards or how you cover it all up. Tell everyone it was a prank or that you were struck insane by the devilish good looks of a handsome blonde man. Hell, use it to launch your coming out party. I don't give a fuck, but you have until the end of lunch to carry through with it, Finnigan. Or else. So don't you dare disappoint me," Malfoy said threateningly. Then he turned his back and began to stride away at a rapid pace, confident that Seamus wouldn't hex his back.

Seamus groaned and held his face in his hands. How the hell was he going to get out of this? Think, damn it, think!

"Oh, and Finnigan," Malfoy said and turned around to give Seamus one last assessing look.

"Brush your hair back. Blaise has a thing for blue eyed boys," Malfoy sniggered.

And with that last mind blowing statement, Malfoy left Seamus sitting there with his hands in his lap and his heart on his sleeve.

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