To See With The Heart

It was a beautiful afternoon on the grounds of Hogwarts as the sun blazed away high in the noonday sky with hardly a cloud blocking it from view. Unfortunately, the death of Albus Dumbledore had left a feeling of mournfulness that fell over the school like a dark blanket. Nature, however, in the form of the green trees and vibrant, exotic flowers and plants growing everywhere, paid no mind. It tried to show, in its own way, that even in the darkest moments, life moved on.

Sitting close to the lake and underneath the shade of a beech tree, Remus Lupin munched on some toast as he tried to collect his thoughts on all that had happened since the murder of the Headmaster a few days ago. Tomorrow would be the funeral, followed immediately by the sending of the remaining students back home on the Hogwarts Express. Some parents, though, couldn't bear to wait and steady streams of students were leaving the school these past few days. Most fathers and mothers were terrified at the news that Dumbledore had been killed on school grounds and thought that the longer they kept their children at school the sooner another Death Eater attack could happen.

Although Remus himself had been warned about that same possibility, he still came out to sit in one of the few places that could afford him some peace. If he closed his eyes, he could still picture a time, more than half a lifetime ago, when he and those he considered his friends had sat here enjoying the time between classes by talking about such things as Quidditch, exams and girls. A mild frown creased his worn features as his thoughts wandered to one who used to be a friend during those times: Peter Pettigrew. It still filled him with a deep rage when, three years ago, he and Sirius had confronted Peter on why he sold out James and Lily. It all came down to the fact the Peter (Marauder or no) had been a coward, bullied by the Dark Lord to reveal where the Potters lived.

Although extremely proud of Harry for his mercy towards the man who ratted out his parents, a small, dark part of Lupin would have liked to have seen Peter locked up inside the Shrieking Shack...and to hear his screams of terror as Lupin stood casually next to him, smirking, right before the full moon.

Someone walking noisily behind him interrupted his morbidly entertaining thoughts.

"Remus?" a soft voice asked behind him. He looked up briefly to see a pale heart-shaped face looking pensively down at him.

"Tonks," he returned, evenly. He said nothing more, and, after a moment, the mousy-haired woman sighed and sat down next to him. Neither of them said anything for several minutes, not even when Lupin threw the remains of his toast into the lake, to have it quickly eaten by the giant squid.

Tonks, realizing that she would have to start this conversation, cleared her throat. "So...how're your robes?"

Lupin blinked in bemusement. "Pardon?"

"Well..." Tonks started, making an exaggerated motion over her throat, "I did grab your robes pretty tightly back in the hospital...thought maybe I'd torn something."

A shadow of a smile passed over Lupin's face. "Well...after all was said and done, I did have to ask Molly Weasley to mend a few spots here and there."

"You didn't!" Tonks exclaimed and was about to apologize when she caught the barest glimmer of mirth in the other's eyes. Lupin then started to chuckle quietly and an exasperated Tonks couldn't help joining in. When they both quieted down, Tonks stared at Lupin intently, who now found himself feeling uncomfortable.

"I haven't changed my mind, you know."

"Tonks..."

"You said back at the hospital that it wasn't a good time to discuss it, and I abided by that. I - I'm as devastated as the next person about what happened to Dumbledore, but we have a little time now." Tonks' eyes narrowed. "I know that you're going back to the werewolves right after the funeral, so if you were hoping to avoid me till then, you're dead wrong."

Lupin shook his head slightly as he reached over and picked at a blade of grass. He didn't want to admit it, but that had been his plan, since he'd hoped that Tonks would come to her senses while he was away. The only way out of this, it seemed, was to get 'the talk' over with.

"I gave you my reasons why I don't think it'll work," he said.

"Well, then, enlighten me once more, if you don't mind," Tonks replied, lightly.

"Well...again, for one thing, I'm too old..."

Tonks brought up her hand. "You're less than ten years older than me. Plus, I'm not some starry-eyed scarlet woman who just graduated from Hogwarts, Remus. I'm an Auror, not a child."

Remus rolled his eyes slightly and muttered something to the effect that he never called Tonks a scarlet woman.

"Okay, another thing is...I'm poor...I barely have any money."

Tonks shook her head, looking mildly disappointed. "Do you truly think me so shallow? Do I look like someone in who money is the end-all be-all in all matters? For god's sake, Remus, my own mother got herself disowned from one of the wealthiest wizarding families known for marrying a Muggle-born, and she sure as hell didn't give a damn!"

Lupin swallowed, feeling somewhat ashamed, but then, he rallied his courage and plunged on.

"That's not what I meant, and I didn't mean to be insulting...but the biggest reason that it wouldn't work is because...because I'm too dangerous - I'm a werewolf, for Merlin's sake!"

Tonks said nothing, tilting her head slightly. Her dark, twinkling eyes staring deeply into Lupin's pale brown ones.

"Did you have any friends while you were in Hogwarts?" she asked quietly.

Lupin frowned and pulled his head back slightly. "Did I have any...? Yes, I had friends...not many...James, Lily, Sirius" - he pointedly did not name Peter - "to name a few. Why?"

"If you were so dangerous...why didn't you push them away, to protect them?"

Lupin's face flushed a little. "Well...to be honest...I tried, but failed. James and Sirius..." He snorted wistfully.

"What did they do?" Tonks asked, keenly watching the other.

"They were...extremely stubborn, to say the least," Lupin said ruefully. "They told me, in no uncertain terms, they would be my friends whether I wanted them or not..." His voice trailed off and he looked away blinking several times. Tonks kept her peace for a few moments, allowing Lupin to compose himself.

"Remus," she said quietly, "these friends of yours...they were the ones who found you the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmead, right? Where you could change at the full moon and not be a danger to anyone?" Lupin nodded. Tonks said, "They also, in their spare time from normal studies, took the long and arduous road to learn how to become Animagi - a further way you could be controlled while as a wolf, right?" Tonks slipped her hand into Lupin's. "Remus, your friends did all that, not because you were a werewolf, but because you were their friend...they did it out of love."

Lupin swallowed loudly, finding it hard to speak. "That was them...what would you do when I transform?"

"I'd be right there next to you."

"What! Absolutely not!" Lupin exclaimed. "This is precisely what I'm talking about - !" He stopped abruptly as Tonks suddenly let go of his hand, stood up in a huff and started pacing. After a moment, she stopped right in front of him and pointed with her finger.

"You know, for a former Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, you can be a little dim!"

"Excuse me?" Lupin replied, his ire rising.

Tonks made an exasperated sound. "Do I have to show you?" Then, with a dramatic snapping of her fingers, Tonks' once mousy-brown hair turned back into its characteristic bubble-gum pink. Before Lupin could say anything, Tonks snapped her fingers again and slowly her body changed, turning plumper and shorter, her hair growing longer and going from pink to red.

Completely befuddled, Lupin now stared into the angry brown eyes of Molly Weasley.

"I've said it all along, and I'll keep saying it," 'Molly' said. "You're taking a ridiculous line on all of this, Remus."

"It's not ridiculous, dammit," said Lupin tiredly. "You could turn into Voldemort wearing a pink tutu and it still wouldn't make a difference - I'd still try and bite you."

Tonks stared for several long moments. Then, taking a very deep breath and screwing her face tight with concentration, she snapped her fingers once more and huddled close to the ground.

Before Lupin's surprised gaze, Tonks' hands morphed into paws, her face elongated, her nose turning into a snout, a long tail sprouted and sleek gray hair covered all of her body.

Remus could only sit there in complete bewilderment as a wolf now stood before him. He looked closely and couldn't help smiling a little at a small tuft of bubble-gum pink hair right on top of the head. Slowly, the wolf came forward and nuzzled his hand. His smile got wider as he scratched the top of its head as it growled a little in pleasure. Then, it pulled away and walked a few paces from the tree. Slowly, the wolf changed back into Tonks, who looked to be breathing hard.

"Incredible," Lupin breathed. "I mean...I know Metamorphmagi are exceedingly rare and all, but even I didn't know they could transform into animals."

Tonks, catching her breath, wiped a sweaty brow with the back of her hand. "Transforming into people is one thing...animals are something altogether different. It isn't dangerous, just tiring, especially going from one form to another so soon." She looked back at Lupin with a triumphant - if tired - look in her eye.

"Well...I think I've shot down every argument you've had, Remus." Tonks caught a look of lingering uncertainty in Lupin's eyes. "Look...I'm not asking that we get married right here, right now. All I ask - all I really want, is that we give it a try."

Lupin sighed a little in exaggerated defeat. "I...can't talk you out of this, can I?"

"You tried...and failed," Tonks said with a warm smile and a mischievous gleam in her eye. She then stretched out a hand to him in invitation.

Lupin sat there, staring at the open hand.

"Remus...trust me...and I'll trust you," Tonks said quietly.

Slowly, hesitantly, Lupin's hand came up and grasped hers. He stood up and she rested her head on his chest, hugging him close. There, under the shade of the beech tree they stood for several moments, each pondering the future.

Then, hand in hand, they turned and slowly walked back towards Hogwarts Castle.

-FIN-