To Crash and Burn

"Even when I close my eyes, there's an image of your face and once again I come to realize you're a loss I can't replace..." Harry stood under the rain. "Why did you leave me?" He sat on bent knees on the grass. "Not even a grave to come back to!" he cried out. His voice dropped. "Nothing but a memory... Always the memories." Many tears fell both from Harry's eyes and the skies. He remembered moments with Padfoot - the meetings they used to have... Another piece of the shattered heart echoed as it broke off to the pavement.

Hagrid watched from a distance very sadly. He watched Hedwig fly to him. He patted her and both went back into the castle, but the rain kept falling and didn't seem to be close to stopping at all.

Harry walked to the infirmary after taking Hedwig to the owlery. He stood in front of the bed.

"You've been asleep for three days now. You should wake up soon." He waited. "It's not fun without you." He paused. "I want to feel something other than tearing." Harry watched him sleep. "Even if it's an insult gnawing at my heart. At least then I'll feel."

"Hello, Harry! What are you doing here?" Neville Longbottom said, walking into the infirmary.

"Nothing."

"Are you alright? You're wet! You should change up quick."

"I was out."

"You should change into something warm before you catch something nasty."

"I will Neville, thanks."

Neville nodded and went to find Madame Pomfrey.

Harry turned back. "When are you going to wake up?" He sighed and walked off.

"Honestly, Potter. You nag worse than my mother."

Harry jumped. He looked back. Malfoy's eyes were still closed. He shook his head. "Draco?"

"You're blind."

"You're annoying even as a figment of imagination, Malfoy."

"Made you feel, didn't I?"

"I don't need your help. I can feel fine on my own, thanks."

"That wasn't what you were saying a moment ago."

"Who cares what I said? About time you woke up you insufferable insolent git."

"Why? Did Potty miss me?"

"In your dreams."

"Aww. And here were my hopes flying only to be crushed by the Golden Boy."

Harry sneered.

"I'm going to kill that whore Bullstrode."

"She's the one who hit you with the bludger?"

"No, that was that sod Pucey, I'll kill him too."

Silence.

"Anything I can do for you, Potter?" Madame Pomfrey's voice rang.

"No," Harry replied.

"Mr. Malfoy, you're awake. Good. Let's see that head now."

Malfoy scowled.

"Out of my way, Potter!"

Malfoy glanced at Potter retreating. Something died in those already empty eyes. How can something be so unfeeling and feeling at the same time? Ah! Damn that bitch, Pomfrey!

Harry nodded towards Malfoy and left the infirmary.

Hermione and Ron found him leaving.

"Harry, are you alright? Neville told us you were here."

"I'm fine."

"We have to talk Harry, you can't keep running."

"Ok. Let's talk."

"Not here, Harry."

"Ok." He started walked away again. They quickly followed him before he could disappear again.

"You're not angry at us for anything, are you Harry?" Ron tried.

"Who said I was angry?"

"You're not talking to us."

"If I don't talk to somebody that doesn't mean I'm angry at them."

"But we're not somebody Harry, we're you're friends and we're worried about you."

"Have you two done your Potions assignment? He suddenly asked, halting abruptly. They followed suit. They were caught by surprise.

"No, but we've started it," Hermione said, recovering.

"I suggest you go finish it now. It took me time to finish mine."

With that, he walked away.

Ron grabbed his shoulder.

"Look, I am sick of you being trash to us. If you want out of this relationship just say so! But if you think we're going to follow your grieving arse around the world you are sadly mistaken!"

"Ron!" Hermione called.

Harry looked at both of them. "Are you two dating?" he retorted.

They were caught in shock again.

"Oh. I don't think you'll be needing me around anyway."

"Harry, why won't this nail pound through? We're your friends: we'll always need you!"

"Look, Hermione, leave me alone. Please. You two, I need time to think."

"Promise you'll be back," Ron said.

"I don't make promises I cannot keep." He walked away.

"Please Harry, lie to me! I need the comfort of your friendship. We've gone too far together to blow it all away!" Ron watched him. "Harry!"

He walked faster. He wanted to follow him but Hermione held him back. "Leave him."

"Harry!" Harry ran away. "Harry please!"

"He finished the Potions homework?" Hermione said raising an eyebrow. "Harry hates Potions."

"What are we supposed to do now Hermione? He's drifting away..." Ron sadly said. It broke her heart to see his genuine frown. "I'm losing my best friend 'Mione... What do I do?"

"Hello!" Sir Nicholas said, floating through the wall.

"Hello Sir Nicholas."

"Why the gloom?"

"Sir Nicholas..."

Her last resort that she can think of.

"Hello!" Sir Nicholas greeted.

"Hello, Sir Nicholas."

"What seems to be the problem, Harry?"

"There isn't a problem."

"Yes, of course. People normally cry when they prick their fingers and break their arms whenever they feel like it."

"Yes. Of course."

"We both know something is wrong, Harry."

"Good for you."

"It would help to talk about it."

"What do you know about it?"

"Nothing."

"Exactly."

"So tell me."

"If I tell you will you leave?"

"Yes."

"Ok. I don't know."

"Excuse me?"

"You asked what is wrong. I answered I don't know."

"You do know there is always professional help for those who seek it."

"Of course. It's called St. Mungo's and Goodbye-Wand!"

"Now, Harry-"

"Not to be rude or anything, but please leave."

"Excuse me? I happen to live here."

"Right. You can't live in the Forbidden Forest then."

Harry quickly walked off.

"You may not go into the Forbidden Forest, Harry."

"I know." He kept walking.

Sir Nicholas followed. "I will have to tell Professor Dumbledore if you go, Harry."

"Of course."

Sir Nicholas flew through the corner Harry turned and appeared in front of him. "You have to stop, Harry. This might end badly." Harry walked through him.

"What makes you so sure you'll be affected?"

"Because you're important to all of us."

"But of course! Who would wave a wand in Voldemort's face if I didn't?"

"You're a friend above all else Harry."

"Look, I'll visit your death parties just leave me alone right now."

"Just not as a ghost yet, Harry."

Harry snorted and walked away.

Sir Nicholas stared at where Harry stood. "At least I changed his mind about going to the forest."

Harry wandered about the corridors and ended up in front of the library. He walked in and headed towards the Restricted Section. He looked around the deserted library before entering. He pulled a random book and a chair then sat quietly.

Ghastly coolness shook him then, surely enough, a ghost sat across him.

"Hello, mortal."

Harry glanced around then answered, "hello."

"Can't seem to rid of company, can you?"

"Can I do something for you?"

"Yes. Tell me why you are here, mortal."

"I can be wherever I please, I'm Harry Potter." Harry turned back to the book.

"You did not answer my question, mortal."

"Then quiet with it, ghost. The library is a public place in this school."

"You don't know where you are, do you, mortal?"

"No. I have no clue I'm in the Restricted Section of the library here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Yes. You are here. But where is here?"

Then the ghost disappeared.

"Great. Hogwarts' only missing link: a mad ghost."

Harry opened the book.

"If you are reading this book, your bank volt is being rummaged right about - NOW!" the book screeched then turned to dust.

"What. The. Hell."

"Do you have a pass to be in here?" a voice behind him hissed. Harry turned. "You're alive. Half-blood. What are you doing in my library?"

"Your library? Half-blood? Where have you been? Unless you're called Hogwarts, this library is public."

"My library is a public, mortal?"

"It doesn't have your name on the door. And what's with this mortal business?"

"Then you must be blind. Now, get out of my library. Only the dead are allowed to enter, let alone, find it - and I will make sure you never do alive again!" the raging ghost gnarled.

Harry heard manic screaming and laughter as he slowly felt his body dissolve into nothingness...