Message In The Ashes

"Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?"

~ From The Book of The Dead (Lirael)

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Message In the Ashes

prologue

~

He wasn’t entirely sure why he had crept back to stare at the place that was the entrance to his pain and terror, but over the past few years, it had also become the symbol of adventure.

The world was dark because of the new moon, with the blanket of clouds that night had brought. Pulling his robe closer together, feeling the cold night air chilling his frail body, he dared to step closer to the violent tree that was the Whomping Willow.

"Moony," whispered a voice behind him.

Remus jumped slightly, but didn’t turn around. He expected they would follow him. Or, at least James.

"Hello Prongs," Remus said.

He felt James sidle up next to him, blending into the dark in Remus’ eyes. They stood there, staring at the tree, until an owl hooted, breaking the silence.

"I’m going to miss it, too," James said at last.

"What am I going to do now? I’ll be all alone again," Remus sighed, hugging his body when a shiver went down his spine.

He could hear James sigh softly too, and shuffle his feet in the long grass. The ruffle of the Willow’s leaves sounded like rainfall in the wind.

"Just because we’re graduating doesn’t mean we’re never going to see each other again," James said softly. "How far away are you going to go?"

Remus thought a moment, thinking back to his meeting with Headmaster Dumbledore just a few days prior. He remembered their conversation about his future, what he could possible do as a career. Not too many jobs accepted werewolves.

"I can’t stay," Remus muttered.

"Why not?" James sounded surprised, standing still. "Padfoot and I are going to be aurors, and Wormtail… well, he’s going to try. Can’t you apply too?"

Remus turned to look at him, just barely making out his profile in the dark. James’ round glasses reflected the few specs of light that came from the castle behind them.

"Werewolves can’t be aurors, James, you know that," Remus’ voice was firm.

"Who has to know?" James said mischievously, but his tone revealed that he knew it was impossible.

Remus sighed, looked at the deceivingly calm tree before them one last time, then turned back and began to head for the castle. James ran up to catch him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"This is not the end of the world," James reassured him. "We’ll help you find a place and a job, I promise you that."

Remus stopped and looked at him, seeing his face a little more clearly now that they were closer to the castle. James smiled warmly back, his brown eyes full of understanding. Finally, Remus nodded and James gave him a soft shove.

"Stop being so pessimistic, Moony, or else I’ll have Padfoot bite your leg, Wormtail bite your nose, and I myself will ram your butt into next Tuesday!"

He laughed, and Remus couldn’t help but chuckle himself. Who was he to deserve such friendship? Before Hogwarts, he never had such a thing. Going away to school was the best thing that could ever happen to him. But now it was over, and everyone he loved would be going off on their own to start living their futures. He smiled back at James, who continued to grin as they tiptoed their way back to the Gryffindor dorms, however, the smile was a mask. Inside, Remus still didn’t believe he had a future, and he knew that this time his friends would not be able to help him out.

"There is one option, though," Dumbledore had said during their meeting the other day. "With these troubled times that we are now in, the ancient ways must be called to deal with such danger. There is need for skilled, intelligent, and brave souls to help perform the rite. I know of one job that you could be useful for, but it demands a sacrifice…"

What else did he have to loose? Remus followed James silently through the portrait of the Fat Lady, walking softly to the stairway up to their room.

My friends. He answered himself.

Sirius and Peter appeared to be fast asleep, but Remus was keen enough to realize their irregular breathing meant they were very much awake. He could see a slight smile on Peter’s small, round face. Sirius was more skilled in deception, and Remus could tell he was trying hard to regulate his breaths.

James climbed back into his bed, but didn’t pull the curtains closed. Instead, he sat back against his pillows and watched Remus smooth out his own sheets. Sirius often teased him playfully about his picky habits, and James would always defend him. Remus didn’t care, most of the time he didn’t notice what he was doing. When he was satisfied, Remus got into bed.

"What must I do?" Remus had asked Dumbledore.

"Go undercover," his answer was vague.

"For what purpose?"

"To save humanity, under the Order of the Phoenix," Dumbledore said softly.

"What’s that?"

"I cannot tell you until you know for sure that you can help."

Can I help? Remus thought to himself as he looked back at James. There was a mysterious look on his face, making Remus furrow his brow slightly in curiosity. Yet, James gave no explanation, and just smiled as he shimmied down under his covers. Remus continued to stare at him, even after he could see that he was asleep. Sirius’ snores filled the room, and a small grunt from Peter’s bed proved him to be asleep as well.

We’ll never be together like this again, will we? He curled under his own covers and closed his eyes. My future in life was set the moment my curse poisoned my veins; my path is walked on four paws.