Snogging A Toilet

Snogging a toilet

I never was much of a womanizer, I still ain't. Woman tend to fall more for types like Draco Malfoy or Harry Potter. But just when I started to get a bit more attention... everything changed. I was turned into one of the laughs of the school. Everybody thought I had gone crazy. But I knew I hadn't.

It always happens somehow. You get promoted and then you fall down again. Sooner or later. For me it was sooner than expected. I had just been promoted to a member of the Inquisitorial Squad at School. I saw Gred and Forge Weasley pulling one of their pranks. I wanted to duck points from them, but the threw me, head first in this Vanishing Cabinet.

That's when I met the love of my life. She's not at all what I would have expected to be the love of my life... Her kisses were so wonderful that I shall never forget them. True, her kisses were very wet, but they really turned me on somehow. I never wanted to leave her ever again. Her kisses made my head spin, made me want her even more!

She had me completely under her spell. Too bad our affair only lasted for four days. Then Dwaco Malfoy found me. I wish he hadn't. He went to get the Head of my House: Snivellus Snape. He pulled me away from here and brought me to the Hospital Wing. He didn't think it was natural for me to fall in love with her.

It was no wonder that I was a little out of it. Who wouldn't if you had been kissing your lover for four days straight and I had just done that. Those four days worth of kissing were enough for me to wet my robes!

Madam Pomfrey seemed to agree with him. She insisted on keeping me in the Hospital Wing until she found a cure... I didn't want to be cured. All I wanted was to be with her again.

They even notified my parents. Why on earth did they want to do that? They would probably take me to St. Mungo's, separate me more and more from my one and only true love.

Some would say that she can't miss me, but it beg to differ. How can something so wonderful mean nothing to her! There was no way that was possible! There must be a spell somewhere so she can tell me how much she loves me; how much she wants to suck my cock!

It's no use. Mum and dad are taking me away to St. Mungo's. They are very mad at Professor Umbridge. But there is a positive side to this whole ordeal: I have to come back next year to do this last year all over again. Next year I'll see my darling again. My sweet darling of a toilet!

I'm sure Moaning Myrtle was watching us at some point, she was jealous of me and the toilet. As it seemed she had a thing for toilets... just like I have now. I think I will look Myrtle up some time and talk to her about our mutual love for toilets! She probably is the only one in the whole world that doesn't think I'm crazy, because she shares my passion!