Friend or Foe

Chapter 8: The Choices

"Mr. Potter!"

Harry looked up to face an impatient Professor McGonagall.

"Yes, Professor?"

"I've been calling you several times, Mr. Potter. Now, pay attention," said Professor McGonagall, before continuing her lecture.

Harry rubbed his forehead. He could not concentrate on his lessons at all. His mind was filled with one thought only: Tom.

After viewing Nicolas' memory, Harry couldn't help but feel guilty. He wasn't there when Tom needed him and he called himself the boy's friend! It hurt greatly to see how Tom transformed into Voldemort gradually, while Harry could not do anything to stop it.

"Then he of all people has the right to kill me."

Tom's statement had been repeating in his mind ever since he had come out of the pensieve. If what the prophecy said was true, he was the only one who could kill Tom. If he didn't do it, then no one else could rid the world of Voldemort and the world would be doomed. Yet Harry knew he couldn't do it. He could never kill his best friend.

He had known since he had heard of the prophecy that he only had one choice left:

To drag Tom away from the dark.

After viewing the memories and actually being inside Tom's head once, Harry fully understood how hard it would be. The hole Tom had fallen into was so deep that no one could possibly reach in. But then, as Nicolas had told him after he had voiced out his thought- if anyone, Harry was the only one who could do it.

Harry was unable to reach into Tom's mind after he had been thrown out the last time. Voldemort had built a thick mental barrier to prevent Harry from contacting him again. And Harry could not actually send Voldemort a letter by owl anyway, though he was quite interested to see Umbridge's face when she intercepted the letter, as Harry was sure she would. There was no way Harry could bring Tom back from the dark in his current situation, unless-

"Mr. Potter!" McGonagall exclaimed. "I will give you detention next time. Now answer my question."

Harry blinked. He had no idea what question he was supposed to answer.

That evening, after lying on his bed for an hour without having much success in falling asleep, Harry finally gave up trying. He reached into his trunk and grabbed his invisibility cloak. Making sure everyone was still sleeping, he snuck out of the room soundlessly.

As Harry slipped out of the Gryffindor tower, he was unaware that someone else in the tower was also wide awake and was currently staring at a piece of old-looking parchment. He was also unaware that something was missing from his trunk.

Harry found himself wandering in the castle under his invisibility cloak. Normally he would have gone to the Room of Requirement, but the place that would bring back so many memories was hardly the place Harry wanted to be at the moment. He needed a place where he could think carefully, and logically. He knew the result would be fatal if he was clouded by emotions. Without realizing where he was going, Harry soon found himself standing outside the HA meeting room. He opened the door and went into the room, only to find himself nose-to-wand with Draco Malfoy.

The blonde narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Who's there?"

Harry looked around the deserted corridor. He made sure no one was there before pulling down his invisibility cloak.

"Potter!" Malfoy looked startled, though he managed to keep his voice low. "What are you doing here?" he hissed but stepped aside to let Harry in.

Harry slipped into the room, carefully closing the door behind him. "I could ask the same of you," he said.

Harry walked to the side of the room and dropped himself on a cushion which they had put there for practicing 'stupefy'.

"I can't sleep, so I came here," said Harry. "And you?"

Malfoy looked about to answer but stopped himself in the last second. He looked back at Harry and sneered. "It's none of your business, Potter."

Harry rolled his eyes. Well, Malfoy was still Malfoy.

It seemed Harry had no luck in finding a quiet place, though Malfoy was not a bad company either. Harry found himself enjoying time spent working with the Slytherin, something Harry could never have imagined himself enjoying a year ago. But Harry had somewhat gotten used to the Slytherins' ways of living and communicating with each other by now.

Apparently, Malfoy had also given up his choice of spending the night alone. The blonde summoned a cushion to him and sat across from Harry. The uneasiness radiating from the blonde was so intense that any Legilimens could feel it. Then Malfoy finally broke the silence.

"Since you're here, Potter, I may as well tell you," Malfoy started. "I'm not coming to the HA meetings anymore."

"What?" Harry looked up sharply. "Why?"

"I told you when I agreed to join that I will have the right to quit at any time, so I don't think I need to explain myself to you," answered Malfoy coldly.

"But you enjoy the meetings!" Harry protested.

Malfoy sneered. "Why would I enjoy teaching those mudbloods? I would rather spend my time elsewhere."

Harry raised his eyebrows at the lie. He had been surprised when he had first found out that Malfoy knew nothing about guarding his mind and detecting lies at all. So it was not a problem for Harry to find out when Malfoy was lying. Harry could only think of one possible reason of why the pure-blooded Slytherin did not know Occlumency: It would be much easier for Lucius Malfoy to control his son that way.

"Does it have anything to do with what Snape told you the day when I had my... er... Remedial Potions?"

Malfoy stiffened slightly, just enough for Harry to notice.

"Is it... Voldemort?" said Harry with a resigning tone. "You're going to be marked, aren't you?"

Malfoy seemed to be oblivious to Harry's tone when he said the name 'Voldemort', since he was as uncomfortable as Harry was at the topic, though for two different reasons.

"I don't know what you mean, Potter," said blonde cautiously.

Malfoy looked up and Harry met his gaze as he said the answer. Despite what the blonde said, the answer from Malfoy's mind was a resounding 'yes'.

Harry shook his head. "You're a bad liar, you know, Malfoy?" he said.

Malfoy narrowed his eyes.

"Have you ever heard of Occlumency and Legilimency?"

Malfoy blinked. "Father has mentioned it once. He said it's just some useless stuff."

Harry laughed dryly. "Useless stuff?" he said. "They are two of the most useful weapons." He looked into Malfoy's grey eyes. "Tell me, Malfoy, do you really want to be a Death Eater?"

Malfoy did not answer, but the pride of the Malfoy's family had betrayed him. Proud as Malfoy was, he refused to avoid Harry's gaze, and that was a mistake.

Harry was surprised but relieved at the same time when he got a firm 'no' from the blonde's mind this time.

"Then why? If you don't want it, why are you still taking the mark?" said Harry.

Malfoy scowled. "I never said-"

"As defenseless as your mind is," Harry interjected. "To... Voldemort will know you are not willingly working for him as soon as he sees you," said Harry.

"My mind?" Malfoy frowned. "The Dark Lord can read minds?"

Harry chuckled as he remembered what Snape had told him the other day when the potions master tried to analyze the difference of 'mind-reading' and Legilimency, though personally, Harry did not see any difference between them.

"You can say that. He can detect your lies and know you're not loyal to him," said Harry. "As I told you, Occlumency and Legilimency are very useful. And I'm sure your father will agree with me."

"My father said-"

"Your father is lying to you. He's manipulating you," said Harry coldly.

"My father would not do that," Malfoy hissed.

After spending a year with all those pureblood Slytherins, Harry knew the effect their families had on them.

"You don't need to do what your father asks of you," said Harry. "You don't need to do what you don't want."

Malfoy gritted his teeth. "Shut up, Potter."

"It's not too late, Malfoy," said Harry. "If you don't want it, then turn away from that side while you still have a choice."

Malfoy stared at him. "No, Potter, I don't have a choice," he said coldly. "You will never understand."

The Slytherin stood up and made his way to the exit.

"Malfoy!" Harry jumped up and grabbed Malfoy's shoulder, stopping the blonde in his tracks.

Malfoy turned around sharply, his eyes flashing with anger.

"Leave me alone, Potter," he hissed, trying to shove Harry aside.

Harry did not let go. "You are not your father. You can always choose your own road."

Malfoy glared at Harry.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Malfoy said in a dangerous voice. "Everyone expects you to be on the side of the light, just as you are. And the Malfoys are always working for the dark. I am, by default, an evil wizard and a Death Eater- in-training. Choosing my own road?" Malfoy laughed coldly. "You will never understand how much it takes to fight against those expectations and what I will lose if I turn away from the road that is meant for me."

"Yes, you may lose many things if you choose to do something you know is right. And it will be much easier if you just give in." said Harry. "We all have to choose, Malfoy. Whether to take the easy road and submit to others' expectation or take the risk and to do what we know is right."

Harry grabbed his invisibility cloak.

"I do understand your feelings. You have no idea how similar our situations are," he said softly. "Well," he smiled slightly at the blonde, "see you in the next HA meeting then."

With that, Harry went back to the dormitory, leaving a confused Malfoy in the room with his thoughts.

On his way back to the Gryffindor tower, Harry thought back on the conversation he had just had with Malfoy. He was telling the truth when he said they were in very similar situations. In fact, what he had told the blonde could be used back on Harry himself.

The problem was, did he dare? Did he dare to risk everything he held dear to do what he hoped was right?

Without even realizing it, Harry had already reached the portrait of the Fat Lady. He muttered the password and went into the common room. He groaned inwardly when he saw who was waiting for him there.

'Not now. I don't want to deal with this,' he thought, knowing there was no way he could get away this time.

Hermione stepped before him and crossed her arm. "Where have you been, Harry?"

"I couldn't sleep, so I just went out for a walk," said Harry, sticking to the truth.

"Do you know how dangerous it is?" said Hermione angrily, trying to force her voice low. "It's very irresponsible of you, Harry. Everyone has been worrying about your safety and you sneak out alone like that!"

Harry gritted his teeth. "I don't need anyone to worry about me. I can protect myself, Hermione."

"How can you say that? V-Voldemort is out there trying to capture you. How can we not worry about you? And you know Umbridge would be very pleased to catch you wandering around after curfew. You could put Dumbledore in great trouble."

Harry clenched his fists.

"And just what are you doing with Malfoy, Harry?"

Harry looked up sharply and narrowed his eyes.

"How do you know I was with Malfoy just now?" he hissed.

Hermione winced at his tone.

"You've been spying on me?" Harry continued angrily.

"I'm worried about you," said Hermione quietly. "Ron was right, it's too dangerous for you to stay with Malfoy alone."

"He is not his father. And I thought you of all people should understand about prejudice," said Harry coldly. "And don't avoid my question. How long have you been spying on me?"

Hermione swallowed. "Since last week after you passed out in the night."

Harry suddenly felt glad that he had managed to come back from Nicolas' place before Ron and Hermione finished the meeting they had with McGonagall last night. Otherwise he would be in deep trouble. If Hermione reacted this way when she found out he had snuck out after curfew and met Malfoy alone, he could not imagine what she would say if she knew Harry had actually snuck out of Hogwarts and went to a place where Voldemort could enter freely.

It would certainly do him no good if he let Hermione continue. He wondered how she had managed to spy on him.

Harry looked into Hermione eyes and searched for the answer. After a while he pulled out his wand.

"Accio Marauder's Map!"

Hermione widened her eyes. "How did you kn-"

Harry grabbed the map then dashed back to the dormitory before Hermione could finish her question.

Finally back in the dormitory, Harry hid the map in his trunk and slipped back on his bed. He stared at the dark ceiling, Hermione's voice echoing in his mind.

He was still angry at what Hermione had done. But the anger was quickly replaced by guilt. He must admit, Hermione was quite right. After the summer, Harry had been unintentionally distancing himself from Ron and Hermione. He had been trying so hard to contact Tom and to help Malfoy that he had kind of ignored his two other friends. Harry knew with the awakening of his Slytherin side and the secret that he was so determined to keep, his relation with the two Gryffindors would no longer be the same, but he still treasured their friendships dearly. After all, Ron and Hermione were his first two friends.

Then the guilt turned into fear. If Harry was to help Tom, he was almost certain that he would lose his two friends. He would not forgive himself for hurting Ron and Hermione, but...

He pulled out his necklace and clutched tightly around the warm crystal.

... something needed to be done. Harry was Tom's only friend, and Harry was the only one who could help him.

Harry shut his eyes. From the moment he had heard about the prophecy, he had known he had little chance to live past his seven years in Hogwarts. If he would be dead either way, he might as well try his insane idea.

He had no idea that death was nothing compared to the pain he was going to endure.