One Person Two Many

One Person Two Many

Chapter Eight

Hermione woke up the next morning feeling as if she'd drunk an entire keg of butterbeer. Last night's events came back to her almost before she was awake, though she doubted that they'd ever left her head. It was impossible for her to know what to do.

There was a light tapping at her door. "Hermione?" Ginny called. "Are you awake yet?"

"Yeah, I am," said Hermione, tears apparent in her voice already.

Ginny came in and sat at the edge of Hermione's bed. "Are you all right?" she asked worriedly.

Hermione shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. "No, no I'm not."

Ginny moved and sat next to Hermione on her bed, putting a comforting arm around her.

"Do you want to talk?" Ginny asked.

"Yes. No. I don't know," replied Hermione miserably. "Oh, Ginny. Why am I so stupid? What made me cheat on Harry? And why did I have to cheat on him with Draco, his arch enemy?"

Ginny made comforting noises as Hermione kept sobbing.

"I had such a good relationship with Harry, and I do love him Ginny, I really do," she cried.

Ginny smiled sympathetically, "Shh, shh, I know, Hermione, I know, and so does Harry. He's just angry at the moment."

At the mention of Harry's anger, Hermione began shaking again. She had truly been terrified of him the night before; she'd never seen his anger directed at her with such intensity before.

Ginny say with Hermione until the majority of her sobs had subsided, then stood and said, "Are you all right if I leave now?"

Hermione nodded, then, in an attempt to make normal conversation, asked, "What are you doing today?"

Ginny looked suddenly very uncomfortable, "I - I'm meeting Dean later, and we're going to spend some time together."

Hermione nodded mutely.

Ginny started to leave, then stopped with her hand on the door, "Are you sure you're ok? I can spend time with Dean another day if you want me to."

"No, go. Really," Hermione said, as Ginny started to protest. "Just be good to Dean, Ginny."

Ginny nodded, accepting that the older girl needed to cry some more on her own, and left.

Hermione curled back up in her bed. What was the point in leaving her room? Given the amount of Gryffindors that had witnessed her fight with Harry last night, the whole school would know by now, and they would all be judging her for what she did. 'No!' she said firmly to herself. 'I have a right to leave this room, and I will.' She swung her legs out of her bedclothes and headed to the prefect's bathroom. Thankfully, it was empty, everyone appearing to have already showered, as she was up so late. As she stood in the shower, allowing the hot water to run over her, she saw the faces of the few Gryffindors that had still been in the common room when she walked through. They were all so judging, so quick to assume that she was a horrible person. Hermione closed her eyes, but this just made the faces of the accusing students appear more vividly against the blackness. Her knees buckled, and she slid down the shower wall until she was sitting, the hot water still cascading over her.

After a while, she left the prefect's bathroom and headed back to her room to drop off her pajamas, this time purposely not making eye contact with any of the students in the common room. She headed straight back out of Gryffindor tower and down to the hall for breakfast. At this time of day, there were only a handful of students still eating, most having left to go enjoy the sunshine out on the grounds. This was something Hermione was most grateful for, as she still had no desire to be looked at curiously by the entire school population. She sat down at the Gryffindor table, her nearest housemate at least half a dozen seats away. As she ate her breakfast with her usual speed and gusto, she decided that, like the rest of the student population, the day was too beautiful to spend inside, so she finished quickly then headed out for a walk around the lake. It was one of those rare, perfect days, with hardly a cloud in the sky, a warm temperature, but a relaxing cooling breeze. She strolled at a relaxed pace around the lake, doing her best not to think about the night before. Just as she had managed to get most of the events out of her mind, she came across a sight that she hadn't expected to see. Harry and Ron were sitting under their favorite tree, and from the looks of it, they'd seen her long before she'd seen them. She froze unconsciously, unsure of what to do. Mentally shaking herself, she walked towards them.

"Morning, Ron," she said.

Ron looked quickly at Harry, then back at Hermione. "Er-hi, Hermione. Nice day, isn't it?"

Harry stood up just as Hermione was about to reply to Ron. Glaring at her, he started to walk past her, back up to the castle.

"Harry," Hermione said, grabbing his arm, "is this what it's going to be like from now on? We can't even say good morning without glaring at each other? I would have thought-"

Harry turned to face her. "You would have thought, Hermione? No, one thing I learnt about you last night is that you don't think. At least, not about anything other than school or yourself."

Unwillingly feeling herself blush, but simultaneously feeling a hot flush of anger, she replied, "Harry, for once in your life, stop feeling so misunderstood and taken advantage of and just grow up. I admit that what I did wasn't fair to you, and that I could have handled the situation better, but you don't have to be so immature about this. I made a mistake, Harry, and I'm willing to admit that, and apologise for it."

"This has nothing to do with you apologising to me, Hermione. I don't care if you feel sorry about what you did. What bothers me is that you were willing to sacrifice nearly seven years of friendship for some stupid fling. It's not only that you betrayed your boyfriend, it's that you betrayed my trust in you." Seeing Ron milling behind Hermione nervously, he added, "You betrayed both mine and Ron's trust in you by this little fling with Malfoy."

Ron's eyes widened, not wanting to be brought into the fight. "I-I'm going back to the common room," he said, hesitating for a moment, looking at his two best friends, then taking off at a brisk walk.

This time it was Hermione's turn to glare at Harry, "That was a great display of friendship, Harry, dragging Ron into the middle of this."

Harry shook his head, annoyed with himself, "Fine, we'll leave him out of this. But that doesn't change the fact that what you did was a brutal betrayal of our friendship."

"So you'd still be reacting this way even if we hadn't been dating and I'd got involved with Malfoy, because it's a betrayal of our friendship?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes," Harry replied stubbornly.

"Well Ron doesn't seem to mind too much, and he's been my friend for as long as you have, Harry," she pointed out, "and don't try to tell me that he wouldn't talk to me about it, even if it meant me getting angry, you know how much we used to argue."

"We're leaving Ron out of this, remember?" Harry told her scathingly. "I just can't get over the fact that you, Hermione Granger of all people, would be stupid enough to get involved with a Slytherin, and not just any Slytherin, the worst of them all, Draco Malfoy!"

Realisation dawned on Hermione. "Harry, I don't know if you realise this, but I'm not eleven any more. I'm not the same little girl that you had to rescue from the troll," her voice rose a few notches, approaching hysteria in pitch, "and I'm NOT your little girl anymore!" she exclaimed, a few tears of frustration and sadness slipping out.

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but snapped it shut again, apparently at a loss for words.

Hermione continued, her voice back to normal volume, although it was slightly shaky, "There's an independent person in here that can take care of herself and control her own life, Harry. I'm sorry you don't realise that."

Harry closed his eyes, as if he were trying to block out what she'd just said. Seeming to find that ineffective, he shook his head, turned and stalked back up to the castle.

Hermione leant against the tree and watched him go.

*******

It was only when the combination of hunger and people's stares got to Hermione that she got up from against the tree and headed towards the castle. Slowly walking through the double doors that were the main entrance to the castle, Hermione was aware of a void of silence that was following her. Getting sick of being looked at like she was some sort of specimen, she turned; ready to snap at whoever was there. "Would you just..." her voice trailed off. It was Ron. Hermione blushed. "Sorry, Ron. I didn't mean to yell at you."

He smiled uncomfortably. "I know, Hermione. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Hermione sighed. "I could be better. Ron, do you think Harry will hate me forever? It hasn't even been twenty-four hours and I just don't think that I can bear to have the whole school thinking I'm the biggest slut around. And," she continued, tears starting to slide down her face again, "I can't go through the rest of my last year here with Harry not speaking to me."

Ron gently took Hermione's arm and led her into the closest empty classroom and sat her down. Hermione half-heartedly wiped some of the tears off her face and looked up at Ron, who was staring down at her with the utmost sympathy.

"Please, Ron, if you do anything, don't look at me like that. I don't need sympathy. I know what I did. I know I have to live with it. I know that Harry may never forgive me. But one thing I know above all else is that I love Harry."

Ron nodded. "Did you... do you love Draco?" he asked.

Hermione swallowed hard. This was the question that nobody had yet thought to ask her. She looked at the ground. "I don't know. And yes, I know that's the easy answer to give, but it's the truth. I know I felt something for him, Ron, or else I'd never have gone and done anything with him."

Ron nodded again. "But who do you love more, Hermione? You can't have both."

Hermione looked up at Ron. "Am I ever going to have either again?"

Ron shrugged. "I can't tell you that. All I can say is that you need to make a choice - a choice that I can't help you make. You have to make it by yourself."

Hermione nodded briefly, accepting that what Ron said made sense, but not willing to think of the implications of what she had to do. "I'm so sorry that you have to put up with this situation, Ron."

"Listen, as I said when you and Harry first started going out, nothing has changed, and nothing will change with us three. As much as I thought it'd never happen to you two, I knew that, at some point, it was entirely possible for me to end up caught in the middle of some argument. I won't pretend I enjoy it, but I am your friend, and I will always be your friend."

Hermione's eyes were glistening again. Ron gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, and left the classroom.

Hermione stayed in the classroom until it was dark out, completely forgetting about dinner. She had more important things to think about. Ron was right; she knew she had to make a choice. But whom should she choose? With Harry, she had a long history of both friendship and relationship; he was the second boy she'd kissed, although she wondered if Krum counted, as she hadn't ever really been that interested in him. No! She admonished herself. This wasn't about Krum, even if running off to Bulgaria was looking like an attractive option right now. This was about herself, and the position she'd willingly put herself in. She knew that she was going to have to face up to what she had done, after all, the only person who could successfully clear up a mess is usually the person who got themselves into it. Tears started falling down her face as she thought about the situation. Most especially, she wondered who she was going to lose because of this. Realising that if she was going to be true to herself, she really only had one possible course of action, Hermione dragged herself out of the chair, and left the classroom.

She trudged slowly up the stairs, as if she were trying to drag out the inevitable moment when she would find out who she had lost over this. As she wandered past Myrtle's bathroom, a familiar voice called out her name. She closed her eyes, hoping that she'd imagined it, but sure enough, he walked up behind her, and slipped his arms around her waist. She twisted out of his grip. "Look, Draco, I can't do this," she said.

"You're going to beg for Potter to take you back." It wasn't even a question.

"I owe it to him, Draco." Hermione said simply.

Draco raised his eyebrow inquiringly. "You owe it to him? Well, sure, I can see how you'd owe something to someone who you willingly cheated on almost non-stop for two weeks; I can see how much you owe him, Hermione, I really can," he said sarcastically.

Hermione bristled. "Look, I don't expect you to understand, Draco."

"Do me what looks like my last favour, Hermione, and try me."

Hermione relented, supposing that this was what she owed him: a last explanation. "It's quite simple actually. Ron made me realise it earlier: Seven years of friendship has to come before anything else. I'm not saying I felt nothing for you, of all people I think you know that would be a lie if I said that, but I just feel this is the right thing to do."

Draco took this unflinchingly. "You do understand that if this conversation ends the way it appears to be going, there is no turning back, whatever happens? And I don't mean with Harry."

Hermione nodded. "I know."

"You could end up alone."

"Better off alone than never having attempted to reconcile a long friendship. I'm sorry, Draco. If you will believe one thing I say, please believe that."

He nodded curtly, then turned and walked off down the corridor without looking back.

Hermione continued up the flights of stairs. As she climbed through the portrait door and into the Gryffindor common room, Hermione realised that this was the end. If this didn't work, she'd have lost one of the main things that made her life at Hogwarts enjoyable.

The moment she entered the common room, it fell silent. Knowing there was no way that she could ask everyone to leave, she focused her attention on Harry, ignoring the eyes that followed her as she walked across the room towards Harry and Ron. "Harry?" He kept walking towards the door to the boys' stairs. "Harry." He turned to face her, although she could sense his reluctance. "I just wanted to say that I will never be seeing Draco again. He and I are over, once and for all. I know you don't want to hear this, but I do love you Harry. I am more sorry than you will ever know for putting you through all this. I know I can't just wave my wand and make this all go away, but, if it's at all possible, I would like you stay friends with you, Harry."

Harry broke eye contact with her. "Actually, you could make it go away," he shrugged. "Memory charms, remember?"

Ron's eyes widened, but he had the good sense to stay quiet.

"I-is that really what you want?" Hermione asked cautiously.

"No," Harry sighed.

"So what do you think," she pressed on, aware that this would probably be her only chance to speak to him about this, "about us being friends?"

Harry looked around the common room at all the eyes on him. He shrugged, "One day, I guess it could happen." With that, he turned and disappeared up the boys' staircase.

Ron came over to her. "Give it time, Hermione," he said as he gave her a quick hug before going to sit with Ginny.

As Hermione climbed the stairs to her dormitory, she thought about everything. She knew she would never regain what she'd lost, but at least now she could now be sure that she'd done the right thing. As Harry had said, maybe one day everything could be back to normal.