The Unforgettable Fire

CHAPTER 8: Year 5, Part 2, Blinded

Green was again the color of her dress. It was a deep, forest color of green, contrasting well with her fiery hair and pale skin. It was long, down to her toes and completely sleeveless, cut like a tube top. She wore long gloves that went up past her biceps and showed her shoulders off nicely. On top of this, she wore a satiny green, long scarf around her neck; it was the same material as her dress. The only regret she had was that her dress was a little itchy on the inside, but it was alright if only for one night. It clung to her nicely and showed off her curves. She had opted for wearing the silver earrings Draco had gotten her last Christmas, the ones with the dark emerald inside. Her hair was piled artfully on top of her head and several strands hung down her neck. Her make up was once again a dark green, outlining her eyes. The green paled her face and made her lips look even redder when she put on her ruby lipstick. Once again, she looked-

"Beautiful," Draco said from the door way. "You should look into fashion designing."

"It is a thought," she said absently, rising from her vanity. "Now you look loads better than last year. I've always said that lace wasn't your thing, Draco."

"Ah, but I picked out my own robes this time, too," he said proudly.

Ginny smiled and walked down stairs with him. Once again, all eyes were on her, it was becoming a sort of tradition the Slytherin common room shared the night of the Yule Ball. Oh, yes, Ginny thought, everyone stare at the concubine. The people want to see beauty? The people want be entertained? The people want to see perfection? I will give them beauty. I will entertain them. I will show them perfection. Damn them all to hell when they choke on it.

But she smiled as Austin Nott took her arm and did the ritual showing of the Snake King's concubine. She smiled as they entered the Great Hall; all of it decked in Christmas cheer, cheerful people, and cheery music. She smiled still through the dinner she ate sparingly from and smiled during the first dance, reserved for the Prefects and team Captains.

And Austin smiled, having the most beautiful dancing partner and the most wanted girl in Hogwarts, despite her year. All was good in the world. All was cold and all was in wait.

She adjusted her long green scarf about her neck again and looked into Austin's adoring eyes. Was she bound to live like this? Was she destined to be a decoration on the arm of any man she deemed worthy enough? Was she to become a porcelain doll for the public to ooh and ah over like she were fireworks in a parade? Was she going to become like Narcissa, the coldly beautiful wife of Lucius? Or better than that even, a concubine of a rich man whom she could stand the company of? Was her life set in stone?

She looked longingly over at the Gryffindors. They laughed. They were full of life. They were happy like she couldn't be. They were content with their lives, never wanting to break free from the mold they'd been placed in.

Then someone caught her eye. It was Harry. He didn't look full of life. He didn't look happy or content. He looked like she felt but was too proud to show.

"May I have this dance," a sharp voice said from behind her, breaking whatever moment of revelry she had been experiencing and leaving it shattered on the dance floor. It was, of course, Draco.

Nott looked a bit upset, not being the center of Ginny's attention could do that to a man. But he backed off and Draco took her by the waist, pulling her towards the center of the room. A slower song started, and Ginny put her head against Draco's chest, being too short to put it on his shoulders. He had grown, Ginny noticed, and was not too far from her brother's six feet five inches.

"Having a good time?" he asked quietly.

"As good as can be expected. I'm kind of bored actually," she admitted.

"Care to stir things up then? I mean, how can you top last year's performance?" he said jokingly.

"In a few minutes maybe," she said. "Could you check for me, I think he is looking at me again? He won't stop it, it's making me uncomfortable."

Draco craned his neck and then said, "Oh, yes. He is. His date doesn't look too happy about it either. It's that Hufflepuff, Hannah Abbott. And, oh, there she goes. Yes, she is out the door and on her way to her common room, it seems."

Ginny snorted in amusement and said, "I don't think I could have found a more boring partner. Next time I'm going with a person who knows what a Quaffle is. Maybe I'll go see if Wilkes wants to dance; he looks bored with his Ravenclaw date. What is her name? Panda?"

"Padma. And if you are really that bored, leave," he suggested. But he couldn't fool Ginny.

"What? Afraid someone will break your favorite toy?" she asked.

"Yes, actually," he said seriously.

"Fine," Ginny said reluctantly. "But I want a few dances with him. Three."

"One."

"Three."

"Two."

"Deal," Ginny said quickly.

"How do you always get me?" Draco said sounding quite childish.

"No one can resist a pretty face, Draco," she said with a wink. "Goodnight. I know you'll be busy with Pansy tonight."

"Unfortunately yes. But fortunately, someone taught her how to give a proper blow job, so I can't complain too much," he said dryly.

"Watch out, she might hear you and try to please you right here on the floor," Ginny snickered.

"Ha...ha...funny, Virginia," he said, rolling his eyes.

Then he led her to the table Nott was sitting at and dropped her off before heading to Pansy, who was looking at Ginny like she wanted to kill her, resurrect her, and then kill her again. Ginny couldn't blame her.

Nott took her out on the floor again, eager to show her off once more. He held her close, said all the right things, and moved all the right ways. Ginny just couldn't help feeling trapped and was grateful when people decided to start playing pass the Ginny. It was because Draco had left with Pansy and they thought they could get away with it. Ginny didn't care. She danced with the sixth year Ravenclaw Terry Boot, the sixth year Hufflepuff Justin Finch-Fletchley, the sixth year Gryffindor Keeper Dean Thomas (who blushed furiously every time she smiled up at him), a few seventh year Slytherin students, Blaise Zabini, and every boy in her year that was in her house (Allen Parkinson, Evan Rosier, Darron Nott, Adam Dolohov, Julius Flint), and finally Jonathan Wilkes, her team's Keeper. She was having a decent time though.

She had finally gotten her way and had a dance or two with a person she could talk Quidditch with and was easy to look at.

"All they want to do is talk about me when all I want to do is talk about Quidditch or something interesting," she sighed, leaning up against Jonathan Wilkes.

"Not exactly what it is all cut out to be, being a dress up doll for Draco Malfoy?" he asked in his deep voice that reminded her a bit of Franz.

"Who said I was his dress up doll?" she asked lightly, looking into his dark eyes.

"So you deny it?" he asked speculatively.

"I never heard it put that way before," she answered.

"So you don't deny it."

"Why do you care?"

"I like to know whose toys I'm playing with so I can put them back where they belong," he answered with a frown.

Ginny smirked up at him, "You don't like me, do you?"

"Don't get me wrong, you are the most beautiful girl in your year, maybe even the school. But if people knew how cold you really were, they'd forget your beauty and see you for what you really are."

"And what," she asked, a little intrigued, "is that?"

"An Ice Queen. A woman whose heart won't be broken by the thousand of picks that pry at it every day. In other words, an abomination of everything that a woman should be," he answered coldly.

Ginny smiled up at him, "It is what I strive for, Jonathan. But what interests me most, is how you saw through what fooled so many people. How did you see past the beauty?"

"Beauty isn't everything."

"That is where you are wrong, my friend. Beauty is everything, everything that matters anyway. Have you ever met a person who was ugly and famous? I haven't. No one even cares if you are ugly and famous. You are just a zit. An ugly reminder people don't want to remember. The person with the blackest heart can be the most loved person in the world because they have the most beautiful face. The public loves beauty. The public wants to be entertained. I say, let them be entertained. Let them pour their souls into it and then when they can't pour anymore, crucify them for it because they were too shallow to see the truth."

"So that is what you want? To be loved?"

"No," she scoffed.

"To be beautiful?"

"I'm already beautiful, you said that yourself if I recall correctly."

"To be famous?"

"No."

"Then you want to steal people's souls?" he asked.

At this Ginny threw her head back and let out a light laugh, but didn't answer his question.

"Then what do you want?"

To wake up in the morning and not feel the pain that resides in my chest, she answered mentally.

"Don't ask questions you're not prepared to hear the answers to, Wilkes," she said coldly.

He looked down on her, his black eyes trying to divine her bronze-gold ones. Finally, he said, "I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are cold."

"I know. That is why you don't like me. You figure a person feels. You figure a person has emotions. I don't have those things. I'm not human to you and you don't like it," she said.

"Yes," he said.

She nodded and clapped politely as the last song ended. "Care to walk me to my room; my date seems to have left of a broken heart."

"Sure," he said, taking her arm.

As they walked out of the room, they passed the Gryffindors and Harry made eye contact with her; then glared spitefully at Wilkes. Ron put his hand on Harry's shoulder to hold him back. Ginny tensed up and held tighter to Wilkes' arm.

Wilkes, who looked totally baffled, waited till they were on their way down to the dungeons before he began his line of questioning.

"What the hell was that?" he hissed.

"That was Harry making googly eyes at me then trying to beat you up. It happens virtually every year, just be happy you didn't end up like Warrington."

"That was true?" Wilkes said in a disbelieving voice.

"What have you heard?"

"Potter caught you and Warrington fucking and in a fit of jealous rage beat him to a bloody pulp and Draco quote, unquote rescued you from Potter as he advanced on you," Wilkes said.

"That is one of the stories that follows the plot more or less correctly," Ginny admitted.

"He is in love with you then?" Wilkes asked.

"Who? Warrington, Draco, or Harry?"

"All of them."

"Warrington only wanted my body, he hated me. Draco is my protector and likes to think I am his personal toy. He doesn't like people touching me without his permission, but he isn't in love with me. Neither of us really knows how. Harry, however, is in love with me and becomes jealous at times because I don't return it," she answered in a solid voice.

Wilkes was silent for a while before saying, "You are a dangerous person, Virginia Weasley."

"I'm a dangerous person to love," she said, stopping in front of her door. "But you don't have a problem with that, do you Jonathan?"

"No," Wilkes said firmly.

Ginny smiled up at him and said, "That is probably for the best, I'm not good for you. I'm not good for anyone now."

"But you were once?" he asked cautiously.

"I was pure once, I think," she replied. "I was happy, if I can remember it correctly. It was a long time ago. I suppose then I was good for people."

"I should leave," he said unsteadily.

"Not unless you want to come in," Ginny said. What, she was intrigued with him.

"And if I do?" he asked in a low voice.

"Promise not to take it the wrong way?" Ginny asked in a husky voice.

"Deal," he said before he captured her lips solidly and backed her into her room, fumbling with the back of her dress. "You have to promise to be a good teacher though," he said thickly.

Ginny smiled maliciously into his eyes, "Deal."

Ginny had long ago lost her virginity. She originally lost it in Germany to fair-haired, blue-eyed Franz. He hadn't been the last though. After him came the Chinese boy that helped her perfect her Mandarin, the Italian wizard who had shown her where the advanced transfiguration books were kept in the Library of Rome, the French wizard who showed her around Paris, and a few other people she Obliviated later. She wouldn't go as far as calling herself an expert, but she knew what she was doing, and Wilkes didn't.

This was going to be fun.

I'm not ashamed of that. Why should I be? One thing I've learned about men, they remember the first time they had sex almost better then they remember what they have for breakfast. Hopefully he would remember my name.

Wilkes grew up to be a Keeper for the Montrose Magpies. Then after playing with them for several seasons, he disappeared. I learned that it was his family. They had all been loyal Death Eaters and he hadn't been. It is sad, really, and he was a good person, as good as they come in Slytherin.

I had, by now, stopped thinking along the terms of good and bad though. As far as I was concerned, everyone was far less than trustworthy. Even Draco. I knew that deep down he wouldn't betray me, at least not until the very last. But a person can only be betrayed so many times...

The school left for the holidays. The only people staying were Harry, Ron, Hermione, two studious Ravenclaws, and me. I much prefer this to last year when people wanted to hang around because of Beauxbaton's and Durmstrang's students. The holidays were the best and worst times of my life. The best because I was alone, truly, in my common room. The worst because I had to be reminded everyday of Merry fucking Christmas.

I refused to come up into the castle for any reason whatsoever including meals and 'festivities.' Pft, stoopid Christmas. Besides, I was planning, planning for my masterpiece. I had done a miniature sketch of it on several pieces of paper, trying to decide where I wanted to put everything. I had planned it to the last possible second. It would be painted like a mural on the large outside wall of the castle, the one that faced the lake. I would begin painting the night before the students returned and make sure to find something to keep Filch and Mrs. Norris busy with. Then I would sneak into the dungeons and act just as surprised as everyone else, no one really needed to know who did it.

The second to last day of break, my plans swung into motion...

The hardest part about transfiguring paint was she was running out of things to transfigure it from. She could probably start working on dust if she became desperate, but that made things unnecessarily hard. She would have the same problem when it came to the paint brushes. But she'd worry about that later.

Right now, Ginny had to find someone or something to distract Filch. She had thought about numerous decoys, but if worse came to worse, she could always try Harry. Ginny hoped it wouldn't come to that. Her plan, for now, was to use a Never-ending Banishing Charm. It would just move an object around forever, or until the charm was lifted. Filch couldn't lift it because he was a squib. So if she just banished a bell or something, he would follow the little bastard around all night. Sure he would be bitchy about it the next day, but that was the price to pay for her art.

Soon it was eleven PM, about the time her plan would begin. She would just have to use a Summoning Charm to get her supplies to her outside, it was too risky to make trips and carry them herself. She had exactly ten hours till the students arrived on the campus; she would have to work quickly and efficiently; there was no room for error.

Ginny slipped out of her room, leaving her door open as well as the statue door so she could summon her paints and paintbrushes more easily. As soon as she reached the fourth floor, the floor she thought the Gryffindor dormitories were on, she released the bell saying, "Anduvia!" Then she sprinted as fast as she could outside.

It was chilly and there was a bit of wind; though this was a good thing because she wouldn't have to use as many Drying Charms while she worked. "Accio paint! Accio paintbrush! Accio! Accio! Accio!" she called out as loud as she dared.

Not two minutes later, all of her utensils were by her side. "Damn," she said quietly, "I almost forgot! Accio broom!" It came flying to her side and Ginny sighed in relief.

"Where, where, where...where should I start? Top or bottom? Left or right? Middle or edges?" she said quietly.

So I talk to myself when I paint. Ya wanna fight? I didn't think so.

So Ginny hopped on her broom flying and hovering in the middle of the huge wall. This was going to be one hell of a mural. Then she pointed her wand at her painting utensils and said, "Wingardium Leviosa!" It all rose to meet her in the air. "Accio red!" she called.

It began.

I don't think I've ever worked so hard on one single thing in my whole life...well, that is a lie. But at the time, it felt like the hardest thing I'd ever done. I now know what Michelangelo felt like painting the Sistine Chapel. Except it didn't take forever and paint wasn't dripping in my eyes and I wasn't lying on my back the whole time. Okay, so I didn't really know how he felt, but I almost did.

The first few hours or so things went more or less on schedule. I had the main portion of the painting done by one AM and around two I was beginning my work around my "second ring."

I may as well describe it to you, I mean, how else are you going know what it looks like. Let's see, it doesn't move. I decided against that from the beginning. I don't know the fool that thought that one up, I suppose they thought they were being terribly clever. I think it is a disgrace when your paintings talk to you. I can settle with wind moving hair or fields but when your painting leaves its portrait all together, it just isn't art anymore. That is why I admire Muggle artists. They can make it look like it is moving without it actually moving. They can inspire emotion without the painting sobbing on you while you're looking at it. It can have beauty so deep and primal that wizards haven't even breached its depths.

Merlin, I love Van Gough's Starry Night. I love Gauguin, Claude Monet, Albrecht Dürer! Ah, if only I had enough time to name them all! Merlin, I love them. I would do just about anything to meet Frida Calo or Donatello or Titian or Salvador Dali. They just saw things differently than other people; they were like a different race of people. They were neither Muggle nor wizard, neither human nor animal. Their minds worked in ways the world couldn't imagine; bent reality to their bidding.

Shijin's ring's experience helped me a lot in this, more than it usually did at any rate. I had never painted a mural; it was frightening to say the least. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted it to make people feel for me all the things that I couldn't or wouldn't. I wanted them to taste what I felt too, if even just a bit.

I poured all of my pain in that painting. I poured all the happiness I might have felt and all the sadness I felt because of it. I poured all the shame and chaos in my life into that painting. I poured frustration into it too. But last I poured the hope of salvation in it. Yes, I still desired salvation from the life I lived. It wasn't easy giving my soul up again and then putting it on display for the entire school. Great things are never easy, that is just the way of it.

In the center were myself and my Soul Animal, my happy place. I had, by then, conjured it many times. McGonagall said that we needed to get to know each other and by interacting with it, we could better become one. The thing I excluded was my face. There was only my hair shielding my features while I buried my nose in my panther's fur, as if trying to find protection from my dark friend.

That was in my center ring. On my second ring was a dragon, a guardian beast for my insecurities. I realize now it was Draco guarding me. Who knew it ran so think?

The third ring was the outside world. It was an expression of Hogwarts at first, Dementors, ghosts, Quidditch, the four house animals, the Whomping Willow, suggestions of events long forgotten or long from being forgotten in the castle's hallowed halls.

Then on the outermost ring was the outside world. Life outside Hogwarts was raging. Task forces of Aurors roamed the streets, Death Eaters slunk around the edges, and the common man, Muggle and wizard alike caught in between. The painting was christened with the figures of Dumbledore and a knight in green holding the forces of evil at bay; Voldemort and Grindelwald in all their dark glory.

It was five in the morning and Ginny was perfecting Dumbledore. He needed to be angrier. It was hard because she had only seen him angry...twice...yes, twice. When the Dementors had entered the school in her second year and the other when he had realized "Moody" was a traitor.

She was almost done, just this last shadow of darkness. She was so tired. The mural had soaked all the life out of her. Sometimes she felt like this when she finished a painting, but on a smaller scale. It was like the little pain she felt over something disappeared after she painted it. She had just painted something so grand; it took all of the emotions she had piled up over the years to finish it.

And it almost was, finished I mean.

Ginny floated to the ground. It was complete. The sun was rising but she was too tired to care. "Finite Incantatum!" she said, ending the Levitating Charm she had put on the paint. She looked down on her black robes and saw they were spotted with paint and basically ruined. Then she looked up at her painting. She was in awe. How could she deny this? How could she leave this anonymous? It would be like hiding from herself if she didn't sign it. It would be like rejecting her soul were she not to even dare to initial it. Hell, why stop at initials?

She took her finest brush and walked to the bottom right side of the mural and signed her name. "Virginia A. Weasley."

Then she yawned deeply and leaned up against the side of the building, just to the right of her mural. She was just so tired. Ten minutes and she would clean up and go down to her dormitories. She needed a ten minute power nap and then she would leave.

She closed her eyes and her paintbrush dropped from her fingers. She wasn't going to be cleaning up. She wasn't going to be going back to her dormitory. She was staying right there with her brain child.

Sleep took her and she dreamed. They were happy dreams, kind of. They were pleasant at least. She was a mother. She was a sister. She was grandmother. She was an aunt. She had a husband. She had a lover. She had a friend. She was happy.

But Ginny couldn't see the faces. They were there, she just wasn't allowed access. But she heard them. They were talking about the past and the good old days. She frowned. She should know these people.

Then the voices grew louder and louder. They were talking but she couldn't hear about what, they were muffled and distant. But as Ginny began to wake, they became clearer and more distinct.

Oh...shit. That isn't a dream, Ginny thought drowsily.

Dreading opening her eyes, Ginny did and saw someone push through the crowd of people. It was Draco. She sat up slowly and a bit apprehensively. He crouched down beside her and said, "Did you do this, Virginia?"

She nodded her head, looking around at her fellow classmen as they stared at her mural. "I meant to leave before they came, damn it!" she hissed.

He looked up at it and said, "It's good."

"Thanks," she said distractedly; distractedly because there were more people pushing through the crowd; Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape.

McGonagall gasped loudly and clutched her chest. Snape looked at it, his eyes wide open and his jaw working up and down. Dumbledore viewed it like it were a mere child's finger art, but his eyes betrayed he was thinking something different.

Her classmen were all gawking, either in shock that it was so good and awe inspiring, or wondering who had enough guts to "graffiti" the walls of Hogwarts.

She smiled up at Draco and grabbed his arm to pull her up. He flinched and brought it back. She frowned in question.

"I got cut over the holidays," he said smoothly.

Ginny nodded and took his other hand as he extended his right hand to help her up. She looked at him suspiciously but her attention was brought elsewhere. Dumbledore was looking at her intently, his blue eyes fixed on her and pinning her in place as he walked towards her.

"Miss Weasley," he said in a kindly voice. "Follow me please."

Ginny nodded emotionlessly and did so slowly. Her feet felt like lead as she gave one last look at Draco and then started off after the headmaster. As she was walking through the crowds, a spark of green caught her eye. She met the green flash head on and was assaulted with the gaze of the Boy Who Lived. His eyes betrayed everything. She could tell by looking at him he loved the mural. She could tell it brought up feelings in him. Good, she thought, may he drown in them. She turned her head coldly and resumed her march after Dumbledore.

Dumbledore motioned for her to sit in a chair across from him. He looked at her for a long moment before he began. "Do you know why I brought you here?"

"I put graffiti on the walls of the castle," she answered in a level voice.

He shook his head solemnly. "That may be some of it, but that is definitely not the only reason. The events you depict on your mural...they...haven't come to be."

Ginny frowned. "What do you mean 'they haven't come to be'? I made them up."

"Not exactly. The Green Knight, what do you know of him?" Dumbledore asked seriously.

Oh, shit, Ginny thought. How the hell does he know?

"You know," a small voice in her head said, "There is no time like the present to come clean..."

I'm not supposed to tell-

"-about your rings and your mission. No one ever said anything about the Green Knight or the Dark One," the voice concluded. "You don't even have to tell him how you know. You read it in a book."

That is a lie. He'll see though it.

"You heard it in passing then."

"He is part of a prophesy laid down by an Egyptian seer by the name of Reonet," Ginny answered.

Dumbledore nodded. "Do you know the other components of the prophesy?"

"The Dark One, the one that the Green Knight will defeat," Ginny answered, still truthful.

Dumbledore nodded again and said, "There is a third member of this prophesy. A Virgin Of Light."

Ginny knew correcting his 'of' would reveal she knew more than she was letting on so she stayed her tongue.

"Harry has told me of dreams, odd dreams he has about you and Voldemort," Dumbledore continued.

"He's told me," Ginny said.

"Do you know what else he dreams of?"

"I never claimed to know ALL. I see what I see," Ginny answered.

Dumbledore nodded and his lips formed a slim smile. "Of course. Let me tell you. He has been visited by several people, each of them teaching him different things. Gawain the Green Knight, Ramses the Fifth, Yoritomo the first shogun of Japan, Haimer of the Pacific Islands, a canoe maker and warrior, Billy the Kid, an American outlaw, and a mysterious "frozen man" of the Antarctic by the name of Eösar. He says these people train him in swordplay and magic in his dreams. He says they've told him of a prophesy that involves a Virgin Of Light and a Dark One. He says the dreams have been coming since his fifth year. What do you have to say about this?"

"Have you gotten him looked at?" Ginny said dryly.

Dumbledore frowned. "I will tell you what I have to say about it and then you can decide if you want a try. I say that Voldemort is the Dark One, Harry is the Green Knight, and you are the Virgin Of Light. I say you've been getting training as well. I say that you have been learning things that will help you in the Final Battle. I also say that it takes you a different way to learn than Harry and that is why you bring more attention to yourself. Now, what do you say?"

"I say maybe you ought to get looked at as well," Ginny replied coldly. "I say is it none of your damn business as you don't play any part in the prophesy. I say it is time you left me alone. That is what I say."

"That is where you'd be wrong, Miss Weasley," he said, a small smile playing on his lips. "For you see, just as there are multiple candidates for the Virgin Of Light, there are multiple candidates for the Green Knight. I was one of the candidates. Just as Voldemort is a candidate for the Dark One, Grindelwald once held that position. But I defeated him and he could progress no further. I lost my title as Green Knight, for I never truly was, I was just a pawn to make sure that the Paths of Time were followed correctly. But I have a feeling that you and Harry aren't mere pawns. I have a feeling you are the real thing, the aforementioned people in Reonet's prophesy. This event that will turn the tides of time lies on your shoulders and Harry's shoulders. Not mine, not Grindelwald's."

Ginny was quiet for a while. Should she tell him? Should she reveal all she learned? Should she trust him after he deceived her the previous year? How was she to know that he wasn't trying to trick her onto the seat at Delphi again? What if he was lying to her?

"I'm afraid I don't know what you are talking about, Headmaster," she said. She felt dead inside as she did it. A flat out lie. He knew it. She knew it. A passer-by on the streets would have known it. But Ginny wasn't going to budge. Ginny was going to stay alone on her pedestal of righteousness and ignore the mortals below. "I'm feeling a bit tired, I think I'll leave now."

Ginny stood up numbly. Then she walked out of the headmaster's office and down to her dungeons.

"A," and I quote, "flat out lie." I had lied to the Headmaster. How many people do you think do that and don't feel just torn up inside? Well, you now know one. I got over my initial feeling of deceit and moved right along to well-he-deserved-it-ville. He deserved it. He lied to me. He deceived me. He hurt me. He tried to get me to sit at Delphi and waste my life. As far as I was concerned, Dumbledore could suck it. I'm not a person you use. I'm not a person you make your pawn. I'm my own damn person. The only reason Draco can is I let him in exchange for protection. Plus, we are friends of a sort.

But the weirdness didn't end there. Oh, no. They continued.

Ginny walked into her room to find Draco already lying lazily on her bed. She looked at the clock on the wall. "I was in there a while," she said briskly, "What do you say to a quick lunch?"

"I'm starved," he said in a drawl. He was going to be a bastard for a while. He always was after he got back from seeing his father. Lucius just put something cold inside of him, something inhuman. It was part of Lucius himself, Ginny had decided. It was something Lucius had learned from his father, and his father had learned from his father's father and so on and so forth.

Ginny changed into a school skirt and button up shirt before meeting Draco in the common room. There weren't many people in, Probably still looking at the mural, Ginny thought.

Thankfully, the Great Hall was almost as empty. Only a few disapproving looking Ravenclaws sat at their table, eating as they read. Draco and Ginny ate as they talked about their breaks. Draco was a bit shady at some points and Ginny could tell that he was hiding something. She decided to let him have his secrets, she had some from him in Galleons.

"Did you at least have fun?" Ginny asked, taking a small drink of her pumpkin juice.

"Fun? At one of my father's dinners? How quaint, Virginia," he said with a cold laugh.

Ginny rolled her eyes and said, "I suppose just everyone was there. Oh, do tell me about the ball, Draco! I want to know oh, so much!"

Taking the hint, Draco managed to look mildly sorry and said, "Well, it was rather dull. And I had to dance with Pansy. I swear the woman gets stupider every time I'm forced to speak with her."

"There is only so much you can expect," Ginny said calmly.

Just as they were speaking, Harry, Hermione, and Ron came walking in. They looked over at Ginny and began talking in hushed voices.

"Do you suppose subtlety is taught in the Gryffindor common room?" Draco asked snidely.

"No," Ginny said absently. "Let's go. I have to stop at the library for a moment. Transfiguration stuff."

Draco nodded and they left. Through the courtyard, Ginny could see most of the student body was still crowded around her mural. It made her smile that she could invoke such emotions from people like that. It gave her a sense of control.

"What exactly are you looking for?" Draco said dully. "I mean, we've been in here two hours. You're starting to remind me of Granger."

Ginny turned to him and said seriously, "Don't say that. I'll be done soon. Say, how about giving me ten minutes in the Restricted Section. I know how good you are at flattering Madam Pince into a blob of middle-aged ooze..."

"Stop," Draco said in monotone, "I'm blushing."

But he got up anyway and headed over to Madam Pince's desk. Ginny rushed into the Restricted Section. "Well you aren't supposed to be here," a calm voice said from behind a book shelf. Though the books she saw a pair of big brown eyes.

"I need some information," she answered. She hadn't even seen Hermione come in.

"That book is for people looking to become an Animagus," she commented.

"That is why I'm reading it," Ginny retorted. Hermione always did have a way of telling you that you were stupid.

Hermione raised her eyebrows and turned back to her reading. Just as Ginny was going to leave, Hermione rounded the corner and pushed a book into her hands. "Nadia Turpin's Guide to Modern Animagi Training for the Transfigurally Advanced," Hermione said levelly. "McGonagall recommended it for me. I'm not training to be one of course, but Harry is. He just can't read the material. Doesn't have it up here," she said, tapping her head.

It was the book Ginny was looking for. "Thanks," Ginny said, taking the book and walking out of the Restricted Section.

Draco said his goodbyes to Madam Pince and joined her in the hall. "Find it?"

"Yes," Ginny replied. As soon as they got into her rooms she sat at her vanity and opened the book. Draco flopped on her bed and leaned against the headboard.

Ginny read (though it looked like she was merely flipping though pages) and Draco looked content to stay comfortable on her bed. There was silence for a long time. That is until Draco started up conversation.

"I've never asked you before," he said. "But who will win?"

"Win what," Ginny asked, flipping though the pages of her book.

"The Final Battle. I know you can see the future. I just want to know."

Ginny didn't even bother looking up, "I can't see that. The future is hard to read. It always moves. Lots of things are set around seemingly meaningless events. Those events determine the big ones and are the only ones set in stone. Who wins the Final Battle isn't one of those events, Draco."

Draco was silent for a long time before he said, "If, hypothetically, Voldemort is defeated, and all goes right for Dumbledore. What then will happen to the Death Eaters?"

Ginny frowned into her book and turned in her seat to look at him. "The same thing that has always happened I suppose. They'll be given trials and be sent to Azkaban, or given the Dementor's Kiss, or lose their land and money, or something. I don't suppose they'll be too easy on them because they'll be able to prove things better now. Why?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. Ginny looked at him hard and then decided against questioning him and turned back to her book.

A long time passed before he spoke again. "What do you suppose they'll do to a Death Eater who turns himself in?"

This time Ginny came and sat down on the bed across from him. "Dumbledore is a forgiving sort. I suppose he'll give you Snape's spot when he dies."

Draco blanched and looked startled. "How'd - don't - I mean, how'd you guess?"

Ginny looked at him kindly. "You were kind of asking for it to be discovered, dear Draco."

Draco looked away from her like he didn't deserve to be in her presence. "It makes me sick," he said in a low voice. "What they did. They don't give you a choice really. Die or get the mark. And it hurts too. He doesn't just burn it into your skin, Virginia; he burns it into your soul. It makes me sick looking at it. I puked when it got burned on my arm...well, afterwards anyway. It is putrid and vile; I can't even look at it anymore. And the worst part is; I did it willingly. I begged for it from him. He was there in all his monstrous glory. And when he was done, he laughed. And now I want to turn back, but he'll know if I do; just like he knows that Snape has. He just plays with Snape now. Feeds him false information now and then just for fun. I can't turn back because he'll hunt me down and kill me; I'm not nearly so amusing as Snape. I begged for it, Virginia. Naked and on my knees I begged for it. And now I regret it."

By now there were tears in his eyes; Ginny felt a sudden pang of pity for him. Slowly, Ginny reached over to his left forearm and rolled up his sleeve a bit. He looked away, grimacing and looking like he might gag.

"There now," she said in a soft voice all the while holding his hand and massaging his wrist, "It isn't so bad."

"It's repulsive," Draco said in a weak voice. It made Ginny uncomfortable because Draco wasn't weak. Draco was strong. Draco was her protector, her guard, her friend. If the world were to end tomorrow and everything were to be for naught, Draco would be there standing next to her. It was her job to fix him, to mend him. She had to repay him in some way. "I'm repulsive," he continued.

Ginny took his palm and kissed it lightly. "You're not repulsive, Draco."

He looked at her sharply, his gray eyes keen despite being clouded with tears. But Ginny remained calm. She kissed his palm again and met his eyes fearlessly. Then she put his hand on her shoulder and leaned in to kiss him. His lips were wet and salty from tears and he didn't respond right away because of them. He probably thought she was doing this out of pity. "Not out of pity," she reassured him, reading his mind. And he kissed her back. He pulled her on top of him and began lifting her shirt over her head.

(A/N: This part of this chapter isn't appropriate for FA.org. You can go to Adultfanfiction.net or e-mail me to read the rest.)

You may say, "Hey, that is sick and wrong." To that I say, "Yeah, well wholesome goodness can suck it."

It isn't all good and right in the real world. It wasn't all fair and honest outside of Hogwarts. But I'll let you in on a little secret; it isn't all sunshine and daisies inside Hogwarts either. "Shit happens," as the Muggle movie Forrest Gump so eloquently puts it. Yeah, that is right, shit happens and it'll happen to you, just you wait.

But I don't think I made a mistake. In fact, I did end up healing him if you want to know. And after that we were closer; closer than friends, but not lovers. Both of us had forgotten love long ago; Draco while he was still in the crib and I when I was sorted. We shared something no one else did. We shared the chilling numbness in our chests. We shared the black hole that would have been our hearts. We shared the pain that came with it. For all intensive purposes, we shared a soul. We would have been the traditional "soul mates" if even one of us knew how to love another person properly. We were made for each other but made to be alone at the same time. It was very confusing for me then. I think now, that had one of us been warmer, we would have been able to burn through the other's ice and we would have been together. But it wasn't meant to be.

But I'm sure you're wondering what happened afterwards. You are wondering about the "drama" I'm sure. Well, here it goes...sorry if it isn't soap opera enough for you...

Ginny woke first and looked at the clock on the wall. It was nearly eleven. She tried to move but Draco was holding her too tightly, like a child would hang onto their favorite doll or blanket. He had buried his face in the crook between her shoulder and neck and was holding her close as though he would never let go.

Ginny raised her hand to stroke his hair and found it was very soft, very fine. Had she never met him and never seen him like anything but this, she would have been convinced he were an angel. He looked so peaceful, so content; not snotty or stuck up like he normally was. But were he like an angel, Ginny reflected, he wouldn't be my friend, he wouldn't be my Draco.

She decided not to wake him; he could hold her as long as he needed. But just as soon as she fell asleep, she was awoken again by Draco moving around, moving out of the bed. She yawned lazily and said, "Where are you going?"

"Virginia?" he asked. He sounded confused. Ginny lit the lamp by her bed.

"Of course, who did you think it was?" she asked lightly.

"I thought...dream...I thought you were Pansy and I had been dreaming. I should have known, you are a much better lover than she is," he said, still standing near the door.

"Not too high a compliment, but it will do," Ginny said. "Now come back to bed, you were keeping my feet warm."

Draco smirked and said, "I'll be back," and ducked out of the room, throwing his pants on quickly.

Ginny got out of bed and began looking for her shirt, but only found Draco's and decided it would do. Just as she had buttoned the fourth button, Draco walked back in with a package, not huge, but definitely large enough to hold about seven textbooks. Ginny eyed it curiously and watched as Draco smirked and put it on the bed. "What is it?" Ginny asked suspiciously.

Draco sat on the bed and rolled his eyes. "Most people open the package and see for themselves."

Ginny unwrapped the bow slowly, taking care not to rip the wrapping too badly. She reached the box then took off the lid and her eyes lit up. More painting supplies than she could have dreamed of. Oils, pastels, water colors, charcoal, sketching paper, a thousand different bushes, sketching pencils, and every other material she could have dreamed of working with and it was all at her disposal. Her fingers itched just looking at it.

"I hijacked one of your paintings and took it home with me. I showed it to my father and he wants to hire you. You'd stay with us over the summer and 'preserve the family in history' or something like that. He said this before he even knew who you were, Virginia," Draco said evenly.

Ginny's eyes met his and she looked into them somberly. "He said that he would pay any amount you named. He is something of an art critic himself and says he'd like you to do a series for him. Take this seriously, Virginia, this is the real thing. My father doesn't throw around suggestions like this. He thoroughly expects you to come to Malfoy Estate this summer."

"Which painting did he see?" Ginny asked.

"Eyes," Draco said after a moment. It was the one with her and her Soul Animal, displaying their identical eyes.

"The nude?" she asked in disbelief.

He nodded. Then he put the top back on the box. "Think about it." Then he turned the light off and lay down next to her. Ginny stayed awake for a long time.

It was unimaginable. A Weasley in Malfoy Estate? It was almost incomprehensible. But it would get me somewhere. It would get me one step closer to the acclaim I'd always wanted; closer to the recognition and individuality I needed and deserved. Damn straight I wanted to! I'd be crazy not to. It was a big step for me, I've always said so. It took me a lot of new places.

It seemed like she had just laid her had down on the pillow that it was finals and she was packing to leave. Had it been so long ago that she was doing this for the first time? No, not really, she decided. She was still young, but now she was older, much older than she had been when she entered the hallowed halls of the castle.

She sat next to Draco the next day at Leaving Feast. She had finished top of class as expected. She was so close to being an Animagus she could almost taste it. She was going to live at Malfoy Estate for the summer and paint. She was on her way to living her dream...wasn't she? It made her mad to admit it, but she was still haunted by those green eyes.

She turned her head from him and talked to Draco. She had become closer with him for the last few months, a friends with benefits sort of relationship. They enjoyed each other intellectually and sexually and that was about it. The connection ended there.

She was riding on the train and couldn't believe that the year had ended so quickly. She couldn't believe it had ended without a major battle or harrowing escape by the Boy Wonder. She couldn't believe that in one short week she would be back on a train and riding to Malfoy Estate. It was true, good things do come to those who wait.

Draco sat across from her and slept. Ginny did a rough sketch of him out of boredom. She could live like this, she could get used to this. Everything was going to be perfect.

"Everything was going to be perfect." Merlin, what fairy tale was I living in? Had I ever been so naïve? Had I ever been so dumb? Apparently so. I was walking right into the belly of the snake. I was willingly entering the home of the Serpent God himself. Merlin...