A War of Nerves

CHAPTER 18: Visiting Hours

Lily walked quickly to the infirmary. She felt like a traitor. She had buried herself for close to two and a half months, embarrassed above all things. How could she face Steven? He had never quit, he had always been there, writing her when she was in Hogwarts, giving her comfort. And because she wasn't paying attention these events snuck up on her and now people were dead. She could only wonder what would happen if Hermione hadn't been there. *More people would have died,* she thought to herself darkly.

She ran into no one on the way to the Infirmary. Most of them were in their Common rooms, swapping stories and wondering if Hermione would get Order of Merlin First Class. She tried not to be to bitchy but they were just sitting there doing nothing, not even preparing. But the sensible voice came into her head, **What could they do? They are children, Potter!**

*I'm a child,* she thought helplessly.

**No, not any more. Children haven't seen what you've seen, Potter.**

*Maybe not, but I'm still only nineteen.*

**And damn powerful and smart. Hermione made sure of that! Do you really think you'd be here at all if she didn't think you could change things?**

Lily debated with herself for a moment, *No, of course you're right.*

**Good. Now suck it up and go see Steven. Every one who was at the battle will be there, Pomfrey's orders. It'll be like a reunion.**

*Some reunion.*

She opened the door and showed Madam Pomfrey the note before she bit Lily's head off. Pomfrey took the note and examined it closely, "Just be quiet. And try not to fight with Malfoy."

Lily rolled her eyes and began walking down the isles, looking for Steven.

"Lily!" some one whispered loudly.

Lily turned quickly and saw Katie and Gwen sticking their heads out of the separating cloth and beaconing her over. Lily looked over at Pomfrey, who had just walked in her office, and hurried in the little closed off area where the twins were.

They hopped on the bed and began grinning.

"What have you two done?" she whispered incredulously.

"Some hello," Gwen said.

"I wish *everyone* greeted me with an accusation," Katie said.

Lily rolled her eyes and said, "I'm sorry, just surprised...an' suspicious."

"We know," they said together.

"And if you were wondering-"

"-we were planning on sneaking out."

"There is a handy little vent above us-"

"-but we are too short."

Lily sat still, her face motionless for a good three seconds, then broke into fits of silent laughter.

Gwen and Katie frowned.

"She's gonna start the short jokes again, isn't she Gwen?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry!" Lily said, getting herself under control, "Sorry, I'll help y'all."

The twins smiled again, "Thanks," they said together.

Lily stood against the wall, and like a little acrobat, Gwen hopped lightly on her shoulders from the bed, knocked out the vent bars, and practically flung Katie feet first into the vent above them. Katie, in turn, reached out from the vent and Gwen grabbed her hand, pulling her up as Gwen jumped off Lily's shoulders and flew feet first into the vent.

"Thanks Lily," they said simultaneously.

"We'll see you at the funeral tomorrow," Gwen added.

"Bye," Lily said to their disappearing forms that closed the vent after they left.

That was when Lily heard them.

"I'm fine, really."

It was the voice of Morgan, she was right next to the twins, *I bet she hated that. I'm amazed she didn't hear us!*

Lily was about to open the curtains when she head the second voice.

"But did you see any faces."

*Malfoy!* she thought incredulously.

"No one saw any faces, Draco," Morgan answered.

*Draco? Since when are they on a first name basis?*

"I was..." he mumbled off and Morgan didn't catch what he said.

"I'm sorry?" Morgan asked; apparently she didn't either.

Draco cleared his throat and said in a dignified voice, "I missed you Le Fay, are you happy now?"

The outline of Morgan's head nodded and Lily could tell she was smiling.

*This is weird.*

**You're telling me!**

"So Draco, what have you been doing with yourself?" Morgan asked, changing the subject.

"Not much," Draco said in a dulled voice. "I think father suspects something."

"Have you given him any reason to?"

"I don't go around my house wearing a sign that says, "I Support Dumbledore!" if that is what you mean," he said sarcastically.

"I'll take that as a no. Has Headmaster Dumbledore spoken to you?"

"Many times," Draco said, "But I don't know much anymore."

"What about the you-know-what under the you-know-what?"

*Ah, that good old you-know-what under the good old you-know-what! I remember that. It is the place with the stuff and the other thing beside some stuff. Yep, I know exactly what you are talking about!* Lily said to herself.

Draco took it much more seriously, "I told him."

"And?"

"He's looking into it. I swear, if you were to choose sides based on speed, most people support You-Know-Who."

"No I don't know who."

"I don't like saying the name," Malfoy all but wined.

"Want some cheese to go with that whine?" Morgan asked.

"Ha. Ha. Funny. Voldemort. There, I said it. Happy?"

"More or less."

They were silent for a long time. Lily would have thought they were kissing but she could see their outlines. Malfoy was sitting on the edge of her bed and looking into Morgan's eyes.

Morgan turned her head, "Don't look at me like that, Draco."

"Why not?"

"Because you're misguided."

"No I'm not," he said, creeping closer to her.

"Yes. You are."

"If I'm misguided it is because of you."

"It is because of me," Morgan said softly. "And the only reason you feel this way is because you feel loyal to me, like I'm your savior."

He opened his mouth but Morgan held up a hand.

"Draco, hear me out. If you and I were to get in a relationship, I would be the dominant partner. You would always feel like you needed me because I saved you from your father. You would be dependent on me and you wouldn't he happy. I wouldn't be happy. And then one day, you would realize all this and hate me for it. You know it is true, think!" Morgan said forcefully.

Draco was silent for a while...a long, long, long, long while. Then he said, "You are right. I would hate you. Neither of us would be happy. I'm sorry. I should leave now."

"No!" Morgan almost shouted. "Draco! Haven't you been listening to me? I want to be your friend, not your girlfriend. There is a difference."

"Still?"

"I don't give up so easily," Morgan said imperiously.

"Apparently not," Draco murmured.

Lily heard foot steps and panicked, ducking under the next curtain, not caring who was in there.

"Malfoy," Pomfrey said icily. "It is time to leave, I've given you your fifteen minutes."

"Okay Madam Pomfrey, just let me say good bye," Draco said politely.

"Alright," Pomfrey said.

Lily heard her foot steps retreat and let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"And who do we have here?" a silky familiar voice said.

She turned around quickly, seeing the person whose 'cubical' she'd invaded for the first time.

"Sev'rus?"

The person in front of her could have very well been a younger Severus Snape. Black, slightly greasy hair, hooked nose, and piercing black eyes; yes, he was definitely a younger Snape.

"Not quite," the man-boy said dully. "I'm Aden Snape, his cousin."

He stood up and stuck his hand out.

Lily was so lost in his eyes that she didn't even notice. She felt tears in her eyes and shook her head. Then she stuck her hand out and shook his.

"N-nice ta meet ya," she said looking up at him, he was built just like Snape, only a little leaner, more wiry. "My name is Lilith, Lilith Merrins. My friends call me Lily."

Aden's eyebrow shot up. *Severus does that...*

"So you are Lily. I've heard so much about you."

"I find that hard to believe," Lily said softly, daring to look into his eyes again.

"Oh yes, the frequent mutterings of your name gave me a good idea of who you are. So, did you dump him, did you cheat on him, or was it the other way around."

In a split second he was flung on his bed, nose bleeding from the right hook Lily landed on him. He grunted quietly and looked at her nastily from the bed for a few moments. Then he stood up, whipping his nose and said, "I suppose I deserved that."

"Damn right you did!" Lily hissed angrily.

He glared at her again and she turned her back to him, determined not to let him see her tears. It was no use, he walked stealthily stopping directly in front of her. She looked him in the eye and tears leaked silently from her eyes. Merlin she missed him.

She turned her head away, not wanting to face *his* twin. But he took her chin in his fingers and turned it to him. "For what it is worth, he doesn't stop talking about you. You've wrecked him totally."

That was exactly NOT what she wanted to hear. Lily broke down. For the first time in months she broke down. She had promised after that night she wouldn't cry...

**Lily walked down the cold halls of the dungeon. Snape had given her detention. *Desperate actions of a desperate man,* she tried to remind herself. After that last night at his summer home, they and agreed that they couldn't see each other anymore. That it had been dangerous for them to be together, and that she wouldn't see him ever after now. He had said that they should spend as much time together as possible then. But she couldn't, she *couldn't* see him. If she saw him than she would be so emotionally ruined, emotionally bankrupt, she would screw the mission. Her life was dedicated to the mission first and foremost and that was that.

Lily opened the door quietly and saw she wasn't the only one in the room, she might be safe. Draco Malfoy was in there as well, having a quiet conversation with Snape at his desk. Draco turned to her and said something quietly to Snape, then left, glaring at her as he passed her.

She licked her lips and adjusted her robes before sitting where Draco had.

Snape looked at her for a long time. To the untrained eye it would appear no emotion was in his eyes. But Lily knew better, she knew him better. She saw fear, guilt, pain, hope, question, hurt, loss, and desperation, yes, desperation most of all.

"My-my detention," Lily said in a choked voice.

"Your detention," he repeated, his silky voice not skipping a beat, "Will be making Dreamless Sleep for Madam Pomfrey. Ten liters."

She nodded and moved to the cauldrons, selecting the ingredients from the cabinet on her way. She felt his eyes on her the whole time. He followed her every movement, like he was trying to savor what last bits of her he was able to grasp.

Lily turned her back coldly to him while she worked. She didn't want to hurt him, she wanted him to get over her, like she had tried so desperately to do with him. She knew he would haunt her for the rest of her life. Maybe if she was lucky, he was still alive in her time, though she doubted it.

*Would he go back with me if I asked?* she wondered as she added the ingredients.

**He would go with you in a heartbeat,** her subconscious answered, **but it wouldn't be right or fair to ask him to live in a future like that.**

*What about what I want?*

**What about it? Were you under the impression you had a choice?**

Lily chose not to answer that and add the newt sweat. Pouring the right amount into both of her cauldrons, she waited. This was the most boring part of potion making, the waiting. And Dreamless Sleep had to sit for an hour and a half, then add the anti-alihotsy oil.

She stood and collected the extra ingredients she didn't use to put them away. She walked over to the shelves and as she was organizing them she suddenly felt very warm. A hot breath tickled her ear, and a warm body pressed against her back, making sure she knew how much he needed her. He bent down and swept her hair away from her neck, kissing it lightly.

Lily's breath was quickening and she arched back into him, biting her lip softly. She was loosing control.

*Hurry Potter! Before it is too late!*

Lily turned around quickly to face him. She stared defiantly in his eyes for a moment before they began softening.

"We-" she began in a husky whisper.

"-can," he finished.

"But-"

"I don't care," he said forcefully.

Lily swallowed and closed her eyes, leaning up to his lips.

His lips gave easily to hers and he pushed his tongue into her mouth. His hands sought out every part of her body in a frenzied act of desperation. She pushed herself into his body, grinding her hips against his feverishly, trying to absorb some of his anxiety, to share his pain.

Their clothes quickly disappeared as Snape tried to lead her jerkily to his private rooms, but ended up leading her into his private library. He growled in frustration as he attempted to unclasp her bra.

A smile, perhaps one of the few she had donned since they were together, broke onto her face and she reached back and freed herself from the bra.

He looked at her like she was water, and he had been stuck in the Sahara for years with out any moisture.

"I'd almost forgotten," he whispered brokenly.

He placed his hands on he breasts and she pressed him closer, leaning up for a kiss and then biting his lip, pulling him down on the small couch on top of her. She nudged him slightly, not wanting him to waste his time of foreplay, she had been ready for him almost since she set foot in the dungeons.

"Sev'rus, please," she begged, wanting to feel him in her.

He complied, driving into her quickly, his erratic thrusts brining her closer and closer to an orgasm with out ever really sending her over.

"Now!" she said desperately.

He kissed her with bruising force, pulling himself into her further, then coming and sending her with him.

Sweaty and tired, she kissed him gently on the neck and chest, his heart beating against her chest.

He wrapped his arms around her tightly like he was never going to let her go. They stayed like this for a long while, neither talking, afraid it would break the peace, afraid it would break the moment. He sent his hands exploring in her hair, brushing her damp bangs off her head and looking into her eyes deeply.

She knew she must look sick with need and desire, sick with love, but he didn't say a word, he just held her close to him and breathed.

She was almost to the point of sleep when some one knocked on the door. Snape sprung up and waved his wand and he was dressed.

"Through that door," he hissed, pointing at a door in the corner of the room.

She went in immediately, closing the door softly as she heard the other open. She leaned her ear against the door, trying to figure out who was in the room.

"Professor, I just had one more question," the voice said.

*Damn you Malfoy!*

The turned around and saw she was in his rooms. They were very spacious, a bit dark for her tastes, but spacious. Suddenly very tired, she went though his drawers, finding the shirt she wanted, and putting it on. She slipped into his dark green covers and began falling asleep.

Just as the dreamland express was about to pick her up, the heard the door open and close again. She sighed and sat up sleepily.

"If Malfoy hadn't used the private Slytherin passageways he would have seen your clothes," he said dully, taking a glass cup and pouring some golden alcohol into it. "Drink?" he asked, nonchalantly.

She shook her head and leaned into the backboard of the bed.

"I've been having dreams," she confessed.

"About when you were under the Cruciatus and Imperious?"

She nodded solemnly. "Every night, every other if I'm lucky. I can still feel it in my blood, Sev'rus."

He nodded, downing the rest of his drink, "It happens, common I suppose."

Lily turned her head dejectedly, "It didn't happen when I was with you," she whispered.

He sighed and crossed the room to her, sitting down on the bed next to her.

"Let me stay tonight, please," she asked quietly.

He looked at her with his penetratingly black eyes closely, then nodded, throwing off his shirt and slacks. She scooted over and let Snape get under the covers. Then she moved over very close to him, absorbing his safe feeling warmth. She faced him, her head buried in his chest and fell asleep, feeling secure for the first time in a month.

That morning she woke in her own bed. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't.

But she was now. She sobbed quietly into this familiar stranger's chest. Lily was making one hell of a first impression, but she didn't care. She held onto his shirt and cried into it as softly as she could. He eventually put an unsure hand on her back and patted it hesitantly.

Lily got her tears under control and let go of Aden's shirt. She turned her head away and began wiping her tears away. "I sorry," she said in a still very emotional voice. "Ya just look so much like him. Yo' probably wishin' ya'd just faked sleepin' when I entered just about now."

"Now why would I do that," he said in a joking manner. "You've only looked at me like you're in love with me, punched me and broken my nose, and sobbed helplessly into my chest all in a span of five minutes. I'd say we're pretty much joined at the hip now, what do you think?"

She coughed out a laugh and said, "Sorry again. Ya just handled it so well."

"Yes, well, we all have our talents."

"I'm horribly embarrassed, I think I'll just leave," she said, awkwardly.

"Oh, no! After you punched me, maybe I'd let you off, but you cried on my shoulder, I deserve an explanation. And it better not be because it is that time of the month again," he said, half in jest, half seriously.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He sure didn't act like Severus; that was a plus. "Alright," she agreed.

He sat back down on the bed and patted the spot in front of him. She sat down and accepted a tissue from him, wiping her eyes.

"Let me see," she began, "in a nutshell, I fell in love with a man I can neva' have so I had ta push him away an' now every time I look at him o' he at me, I die inside."

Aden frowned, "My cousin was in love with some one? That I find hard to believe."

"Ya'd be surprised," she said under her breath.

"I am frequently. I was surprised about five minutes ago," he said sarcastically.

There was a brief silence and Lily looked at him shyly, "Ya said he mentioned me?"

Aden rolled his eyes, "The last time I saw my cousin in close to this bad a shape it was because I burned up half of his notes on the Wolfsbane Potion. That and the fact that he drilled me about what I knew about you from school for about an hour, then mumbled stuff sounding suspiciously like 'Lily' while he paced up and down his study for another. I'd say he's in pretty bad shape, he rarely ever looses composure and he's fighting harder to keep it than I've ever seen."

Lily's eyes welled up again, and Aden's grew wide, "Sorry, don't cry again!"

Lily wiped her eyes fast and said, "I'm sorry. I have to go now."

"Wait," Aden said, "Will I see you at the meeting?"

She nodded and left the 'cubical.' Tears burning in her eyes, she made her way to Steven's bed. Determined to tell him everything, she opened his curtains and gasped. He looked bad... real bad. One of his eyes opened and his brilliant violet depths stared up at her.

"Hey Lillers," he croaked out.

Lily pursed her lips together and she went over to the side of his bed and knelt down by it. "Steven," she said softly. "How-how are you?"

He coughed and said, "It looks much worse than it actually is Lillers. Madam Pomfrey said that I'll live. She said I might even be able to go to the service tomorrow for...for Mother."

Lily nodded and said, "I'm so sorry Steven. How can you ever forgive me?"

A stern look came in his purple eyes, "Lily, none of this is your fault. None of it, do you hear me. If it was, it would be just as much mine and you know it. I don't want to hear any of that foolishness. Think what Hermione would say."

Lily sniffed, "She'd say to remember the mission."

"That is right," Steven said. "Now I want you to get some sleep, you look like you haven't slept in days."

"I haven't," Lily confessed.

Steven nodded, "As I thought. And how long, may I ask, were you planning on wearing black?"

"Forever," Lily said defiantly. "I'll be like Sir Gawain the Green, except my sash will be forever black."

Steven exhaled deeply, "Fine. But green really brings out your eyes."

She chuckled a bit, "Shut up. I'm being serious."

"That is what scares me Lillers. Speaking of green eyes, how is he, Harry?"

Lily rolled her eyes, "I had to Obliviate him and mother. I have no idea how they found out. Ron didn't tell them, I already asked."

"You realize that you've told a total of five people our secret and you were only supposed to tell one?"

"You told Elizabeth Kelso, one more than you were supposed to," she said defiantly.

"I married Elizabeth Kelso," he reminded her.

"Whatever," she said.

Then Steven went into a coughing fit and Lily looked on worriedly.

"Are you alright?" she asked anxiously.

"Yeah," he said, "hand me that water would you."

She nodded and did so.

He licked his lip and leaned back in his bed, "I'm worried about you Lillers."

"I'm a big girl, Steven," she reminded him. "And you need some sleep."

"I'll go to sleep if you will," he bargained.

She frowned at him and said, "After I visit a few people."

"Deal," he said, leaning back in his bed. Lily kissed him on the forehead and closed the curtains behind her.

After she left Steven, she visited Brigid, who had gotten hold of her wand, put a silencing charm on her 'cubical' and began moving target practice with a transfigured wooden board that zoomed around her little area. She was so happy to see Lily she almost squeezed the living daylights out of her. Then she expressed her anger at being cooped up on a day like this by throwing a knife into the board so hard it splintered off into about twenty pieces.

Then she went over to Morgan, who looked equally upset to be there. Morgan was happy in her own way to see her, telling her all sorts of things that happened like Hermione's glorious battle tactics.

"She really should be a general," Morgan said speculatively.

"Right, Raja," is all Lily said.

Then they snuck over to a little Veela girl's 'cubical' and Lily was introduced to Gabrielle Delacour. She remembered the girl's sister, Fleur, which Gabrielle was none too happy about until Lily explained that she had hexed Fleur in Lily's seventh year at Salem's, causing Fleur's hair to turn a greenish brown and her teeth to become very crooked.

Morgan told Lily about Malfoy, whom she had turned over to their cause, which surprised Lily a great deal. But Morgan said that he was trustworthy, and there were very few people whose judgment Lily trusted more than Morgan's. Come to think of it, there were only two, Hermione's and Dumbledore. And sometimes her mother.

Lily had a short visit with Hermione, in which she discovered Ron and Harry hiding out under Harry's Invisibility Cloak. They spoke briefly and then Lily headed back to her rooms, fulfilling the promise she'd made with Steven.

That night storm clouds moved over the castle and Lily barely slept. Tomorrow would be a busy day, so she forced a half cup of Dreamless Sleep down her throat and went to bed.

(A/N: As advertised, I am going to have a Ron/Hermione moment. So, remember back to when Lily visited Hermione and Ron and Harry were there under Harry's Invisibility Cloak. Remember? Good, I'm going to take off from Ron's POV when Lily walked in.)

"Sh!" Hermione said sharply.

He and Harry had snuck into the infirmary earlier that day when a mediwitch in training had left under Harry's Invisibility Cloak. They had been talking with Hermione for hours, catching up basically.

Ron was really impressed. It sounded like Hermione was top of her class even in Salem's, and Lily had told him how hard that school had been. But he couldn't believe she had almost single handedly defeated a horde of Death Eater's at their Graduation. She was amazing, and the way she told it was like she barely did anything. His father was right, she would go far.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Some one is coming," she hissed.

And then the curtains were parted slightly and Lily walked quietly in. Her eyes narrowed a bit and then she said, "Hello Hermione."

"Hello Lily," she said with a pleasant smile.

Lily closed her eyes and a funny expression came over her face. "Harry? Ron? Are ya in here?"

Harry threw off the Invisibility Cloak and he and Ron stood exposed.

She opened her eyes and smiled, "I suppose I shoulda known you two would find a way in here."

Hermione smiled too.

"Hi Lily," Ron and Harry said in unison.

"So," Lily said, "How are ya?"

"I'm fine," she answered. "A little beat, but fine."

"Yeah, that happens," Lily said dryly. "Are ya sure ya shouldn't have been in AA&WG, cause from what I've heard, ya kicked some Death Eata' ass."

Hermione blushed and Ron said, "That's Advanced Auror and Warrior's Guild, right?"

"Yeah, Hermione was telling us about that," Harry said.

"Mmhm," Lily said, "That's what I'm in, that an' a bit of I&AAA."

"What is that, again?" Harry asked Hermione.

"That is Infiltration and Advanced Assassination Auror. Brigid is in that subdivision, too," Hermione answered expertly.

There was silence for a while and then Lily said, "I'll leave you three ta talk some mo', I'm sure y'all've a lot ta say an' I'm just gettin' in the way. I'll see ya tomorra' at the fun'ral, 'kay?"

"Okay," Hermione said.

"Bye," Ron said.

"See you," Harry said.

Lily smiled and left.

"So..." Ron said, beginning the conversation again.

"Right, as I was saying," Hermione said. "Apparently, Dumbledore is calling a meeting tomorrow. Wizards and witches from all over the world are coming, it is called a 'Wizard's Council' or something."

"Are you going?" Ron asked.

"I've been invited, yes," Hermione said vaguely.

"Why?" Harry said with a frown, "I mean, why would they call a meeting, what are they talking about?"

"From what I've heard," Hermione said brightly, "they are going to discuss the plan for retaliation against Voldemort."

"Don't say that!" Ron hissed.

Hermione sighed, "Really Ron, Harry has been saying it for years. And plus, the first rule at Salem's is you have to call him by his name, either that or Tom Riddle. They say it reduces fear."

"Fine," he sulked.

"Anyway," Harry prompted.

"As I was saying," Hermione continued, "They are going to have a massive meeting of wizards, somewhere around fifty, from all over England the World, most of them Aurors. Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody will be there, along with the Turkish Minister of Magic and a bunch of American witches and wizards."

"But-" Harry began, then cut himself off, frowning.

"And Poppy, how many will be ready for the meeting?" the voice of Dumbledore traveled down to them.

"Who do you want?" Madam Pomfrey said stubbornly.

"Aden Snape, you know, Severus's cousin, Birgid Kells, Morgan Estelllan, Katie and Gwen Matson, Steven Woodsrow, and Hermione Granger," he replied.

"Well," Madam Pomfrey said in consideration, "I suppose, though Steven Woodsrow should be healed, he will be a little weak for a day or two."

"Good," Dumbledore said primly, "How are the others?"

"No one will die, Albus. I had serious doubts about a few, like Jessica Arlaney and Jackson Koves, but all of them will survive."

"This is good news. More death would indeed be a tragedy. Now, I must find Harry Potter. Though where ever his friend Ronald Weasley is, he can stay," Dumbledore said a little louder than before.

"Ooo-kay," Madam Pomfrey said in a bemused voice.

"Good evening Poppy," Dumbledore said, leaving the Infirmary.

"Good evening," she said walking into her office.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were silent until they thought it was safe.

"You'd better leave, Harry," Hermione whispered.

"Alright," Harry said, "I'll come back and get you with the cloak when Dumbledore is finished with me, okay, Ron."

Ron shook his head and Harry slipped the Invisibility Cloak on and snuck out the Infirmary.

Ron didn't speak for a while.

Hermione frowned and said, "What is wrong?"

"Well," he started, "I don't know, but to me, it sounds a lot like we are walking into a trap. These attacks, I mean, they're meant to scare us out of where ever we are hiding, right?"

"Ron," Hermione said with a smile, "I'm surprised, I mean, I'd never figured you'd think that."

Ron looked at her for a moment with a frown. If there was anything he'd learned from his time hanging around Lily, Morgan, and even Brigid, it was that he wasn't stupid.

"What do you mean? Do you mean I'm too stupid to have an original idea? Or do you mean that I can't figure things out on my own?" he asked.

Hermione's smile faded, "Well, no. I meant that...that..."

"So you did mean that I'm stupid," he answered seriously. "Well I'm sorry I'm no Viktor Krum, or any other smart American boy you've dated since you were here. I'm sorry I'm just Ron Weasley."

Her mouth opened and closed a couple of times. Then she put on a hurt expression and said, "I never thought that, Ron."

"Yeah, well you've done a good job of showing it," he said quietly.

Hermione frowned, her demeanor changing, "I NEVER thought that, Ron. I just meant that you've changed. Hell, we've all changed!"

"I see what you mean," Ron said dully, "I never figured you'd go for the Death Eater type."

Hermione's face turned red with anger and her eyes sparked wildly, "Ron Weasley! You have no idea what you're talking about!"

"I know exactly what I'm talking about!" he hissed back. "I heard what Brigid and Morgan said about you two! I know you're sleeping together!"

Hermione gritted her teeth, "NOT that it is any of YOUR business, yes, we did sleep together, and we lived in his apartment."

"So you admit it, you did sleep with him."

"I just said that!" Hermione said, going even redder.

"Well?"

"Well what?" she spat.

"Did he make you happy? Did he make you laugh? Did you love him?" he questioned rapidly.

Hermione's jaw trembled. Anger forgotten, tears welled in her eyes. "No, but I thought I did."

Ron's expression softened, "I'm sorry 'Mione. I shouldn't've..."

"No, you have every right to know. He told me he loved me, and it wasn't until too late that I leaned his true intentions. He wanted to own me, Ron. I was scared. I really thought he was a good guy."

Ron was silent again.

Finally, Hermione spoke up again, "Ron?"

He sighed, considering what to do. Lily had been right, way back in October. He did love her, that was why he didn't see any other girls. *Well, you weren't put in Gryffinor for nothing, Ron,* he said to himself.

"Hermione," he said bravely.

"Yes," she said.

"I have something I need to tell you," he said seriously, looking deep into her warm brown eyes. She was still a bit pink, but he had never seen her more beautiful.

"Yes," she said a bit fearfully.

"Ever since the first day I saw you, I've known. I've known since we were eleven that you were something, something special. Everything you do, everything you think, it is something that means something. And I didn't know then what it meant, but I know now. You are special to me. I look into your eyes and I want to tell you everything. I hear your voice and I want to put it on the radio so every one can hear how wonderful you are. I touch you and all I want to do is hold you. I know now what it means, it means I love you. I love you, Hermione, I always have, and have a feeling I always will."

By now tears were flowing openly from Hermione's eyes. Her body was trembling so violently Ron thought she might explode in tears. "Ron," she said in a broken emotional voice. "Why?"

"Why would you-*Silencio!*-why would you wait till now! I hate you!" she screeched once the silencing charm was up.

"What?!?" he yelled incredulously, really happy at least she was smart enough to put a silencing charm on the 'cubical.'

She stood, her voice trembling and now very loud, "You had six fucking years, Ron! Six years and you never told me once! You never even let on! You just expected me to wait for you! You expected me to know? How the hell was I supposed to know? What were you thinking?"

"Well I'm sorry I was stupid! You know now, isn't that all that matters?" he yelled back, now standing as well and right in her face.

"No! Not every thing is all right now, Ron! You hurt me! There were a thousand time you could have said something and you NEVER DID!"

"Well you never did either!" he accused, "If you felt something you could have said it as easily as me!"

"Th-that's beside the point," she sputtered.

"Oh, is it! I'm supposed to start everything?"

"Maybe!" she said in a high pitched voice.

They were silent for a while, glaring daggers at each other.

Then Ron sighed. "Why are we fighting?"

"I don't know," Hermione confessed, putting her head on his chest and sighing as well.

Ron put a hand on her back and rubbed it up and down like it was the most natural thing in the world, "What do you want to do know?"

"I don't know," she mumbled into his chest, edging a little closer to him and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Hermione Granger with out an answer?" he said kiddingly.

She looked up at him, her eyes full love and adoration, "I never said I don't have an answer?"

"What?" he said, swallowing hard.

"Kiss me," she whispered.

Ron hesitated. This was what he wanted to hear, right. Hermione wanted him to kiss her, it was a dream come true. Then a cruel voice in the back of her head coughed, **Fallback guy!**

And that voice was right.

"I don't want to be the one you fall back on Hermione," he said softly.

She searched his face almost pleadingly and then her forehead fell against his chest again. "You're right, of course," she murmured.

Ron's chest tightened and Hermione must have felt it because she hugged him tighter.

"I love you, Ron," she said, "but it is too early still."

Ron relaxed and nodded. "I can live with that. Not easily, but I can live."

Then she looked up at him again. She stood on her toes and put a light kiss on his lips. Ron's jaw clenched, trying to control himself, but it didn't work. He kissed her back, a rush of emotion flowing over him. He tightened his arms around her and she pressed her body to his, seemingly molding her tiny frame with his tall, lean one.

He stopped the kiss slowly, his eyes still closed, "I'm sorry, Hermione."

He tried to pull out of her embrace, but she shook her head and said, "Just hold me a while Ron, I won't kiss you again. Please?"

He couldn't say no to her of course. He sat down on her bed, her in his lap. Hermione warmed up to him and put her head under his chin. Stroking her hair lightly he smiled slightly.

"I missed you," she said quietly.

"I missed you too," he said.

Ron was just putting her in bed after she fell asleep when Harry walked in.

"Come on," he said, apparently not noticing a thing, "I've bought us a few minutes of escape time, but we have to leave now."

Ron nodded and left with Harry, his mind on Hermione.

Lily woke early. Her clock read five after five, no one in their right minds would be up right now. She heard a clanking up above her and two sooty looking twins plopped on her bed.

"Like I was just saying in my head," Lily said after a while, "No one in their right minds would be up at this hour."

"Oh-"

"-don't mind us."

"Just exploring the school."

"It is so much cooler than Salem's."

"We really wanted to find that chamber pot room again."

"Yeah, do you remember if that was on a quarter moon or not?"

"No, I wish I did!"

"*I* wish I lived here."

"Me too!"

Lily had long since gotten out of bed and was laying out what she was going to wear for the day. It was an old fashioned black petty-coat and knee length skirt with a black hat and black veil.

"Lil," Katie said, coming up behind her.

"It's not your fault."

"No one could have known."

"Not even you."

The twins were being serious. This wasn't something that happened everyday. Lily was touched. "Thank you."

They smiled, not grinned, but smiled and said together, "We love you."

And they hugged her, getting her all filthy with soot and dust.

"But would you mind taking a shower?" Lily asked playfully.

"Well-"

"-perhaps."

"How much-"

"-are you willing to pay?"

Lily rolled her eyes and said, "Get out of my room Matsons."

They rolled their eyes and Katie said, "'Get out of my room Matsons.'"

Copying her sister and Lily, Gwen said, "'Get out of my room Matsons.'"

They both walked out of the room their dusty noses in the air.

Lily sighed and got in the shower, determined to scrub some of the guilt she felt off of her skin.

"Cherry Woodsrow was a great woman with great power and a great mind," Dumbledore began, the light drizzle of rain had already become a light downpour. People had taken their umbrellas, black was seen everywhere. Lily stood in between Ron and Morgan. If she looked to her left, she would see Hermione, Gabrielle Delacour, Ginny, and then Harry holding Ginny's hand. If she looked to her right she would see Draco standing faithfully next to Morgan, then next to him, the twins, Brigid, and then Blaise with Natalie, the small sixth year Gryffindor Chaser. On odd group to be sure. But the whole school was there, and some of the Salem's students as well, including the survivors and their parents, the parents of the ones that didn't survive, and some of the students invited to the meeting. There were, of course, a limited number or Slytherin attending, as the funeral of the headmistress and the students that died in the attack was optional. But the rest of the school had turned up wearing their black school robes with their house patch on them, and all the teachers as well. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin stood next to Snape, ironically enough, and Minerva on their other side, who was standing next to Dumbledore.

"And like all things, great power has consequences. Cherry chose to educate the young wizards of the world about the dangers of Voldemort."

Some students gasped a the name.

"She followed in her father's foot steps in preparing for what he called the 'Final Battle of Good and Evil.' For this reason she was attacked. No warning, no way of predicting or knowing," he said looking right at Lily.

"She died a hero's death.

"Cherry will not be the last though. The supporters of Voldemort have already showed us that they will stoop it any level, even to killing children. This must come to an end! Do not let what Cherry worked so hard for be forgotten. Fight! Resist!

"The children that died at the hands of these Death Eaters deserve no less recognition. Their bravery will ever be remembered by those strong enough to carry on. Those people will be you, the future. Colin Dallas, Cynthia Zachroy, Marlena Owens, Misty Callaghan, Oliver Nordstrom, Alastor Grae, Alison Constantine, Alejandro Vasquez, Rei Hino, Natasha Vrink, Olga Pezsky, Brandon Wong, Charles Arrowood, Novice Credence, Amadeus Bonepierre, Allia Shone, Olive Hornblower, Justin O'Riley, Thomas Mathis, William Stone, and Ashleigh Blake, may your souls find solace."

Dumbledore went silent, as did the rest of the school.

Then he spoke again, "As a member of the Fire house, Cherry Woodsrow will be committed to fire upon her death. May her soul find solace. Steven."

Steven walked slowly to where his mother rest, a torch in his hand and tears in his eyes. He said something no one could hear and lit the wood posts holding up the table top on which her body rested.

Dumbledore made a beaconing motion with his hand and Gabrielle Delacour stepped out of the crowd. She was wearing something very similar to Lily, her hair in a bun at the nape of her neck. She looked very regal, but very sad.

And then she opened her mouth. She sang like an angel, and she sang the mourning song of the Veela when one of their number had died. Lily knew that Cherry hadn't been Veela, but being sang the song of the Veela was a honor indeed, as they didn't allow their voices to be recorded in anyway, ever.

The song started off slow and sad, she didn't understand the words of the song, they were in the Veela language, but this song didn't need words. The sorrow was expressed in the purest way, though song. The melody carried the mood of everyone, and the sweet rhythm swayed everyone's heart. It wasn't long until most people were crying openly, and finally, through the song of the young half-Veela, understanding the death, and accepting it.

She saw Morgan sob and Draco handed her a black hanker-chief before wiping his eyes with it. Ginny was sobbing openly on Harry's chest, and Hermione had grabbed Ron's hand for support. *Finally!* she thought, *Something is going on plan!*

Then Lily did something stupid, she looked at Snape. And he looked back, his gaze penetrating her soul, looking though her in silence. She licked her lips and swallowed hard. She wouldn't cry. She promised she wouldn't. She could feel the tears coming, but the Veela girl stopped just in time.

Something in the Veela's song had made the fire burn faster, sending the soul of Cherry to solace faster.

One by one, the students of Hogwarts walked by the flames, some tossing in

flowers, others their tears on hanker-chiefs. At the end of the procession, the Salem's students went, and then the teachers, and finally, Dumbledore.

It was the beginning of the end. But all ends have new beginnings.