Watching From Up Above

Watching From Up Above

Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All in the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day I can forgive
And I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today-Staind (So Far Away)

What's the matter, Harry? You seem upset. 'Course, it could just be the view from up here, but I don't think it is.

Wait, you're not mad at me, are you? I hope not. Be mad at Bellatrix, the old cow. Wait, no, I'm only joking! Don't take that seriously. I'm sorry, that was a really bad joke. Besides, I can't go around trying to get you to avenge me; it'd be too much like controlling you from up here, living through you.

There's something you need to understand, Harry. I would have come no matter what anyone told me. Nothing that happened was your fault. Even if old Snivelly hadn't come and told me what was going on, you know I would have found out. And nothing, nothing, would have kept me from getting to you. You know that. So don't blame yourself.

Besides, you were meant to go the Department of Mysteries, mate. You learned a bit about yourself, eh? I didn't know much of that, I, too, was kept in the dark, but when you get up here, you know things. I know some things that I'm not allowed to tell you, because you're supposed to find out on your own. I'd love to break the rules just this once and help ease your pain a little. But Prongs says I can't. It's awful watching you from this point of view, watching you fight with yourself, trying not to cry. It's frustrating, too. Watching and wanting to scream and yell the answers to your problems at you. I've been in quite a state lately, a bit gloomy. No, it's not because I'm up here. It's actually quite nice, very beautiful, and most of the time everyone's happy. It's just because I can't seem to be of any help. James and Lily say that by just watching over you, I'm helping, and that the time will come when I'll be able to do some real helping.

At the same time, watching you is something beautiful, and, trust me, I don't say that word too often. It's reserved for very special and highly important things. Like you, for instance.

I know it's very difficult for you. I know you're ticked at everyone and everything, and that's natural, Harry. Don't be afraid to show your feelings, if you keep it bottled up, you're going to explode. And probably at the wrong person. I did that to Moony once. He didn't talk to me for three days just because I said some things I didn't mean. I needed an outlet for my anger, and Remus just happened to be the nearest thing. There's people you can talk to, you know. Dumbledore, for one. He told you how much he cares about you. Ron and Hermione, of course. Don't lose them, Harry, they're a good pair to hang on to. Who else? Oh, Nick. He might be of some help. I understand he's told you that he doesn't understand the 'mysteries' of death, but he's a good secret keeper. I know first hand. Moony. Never forget about him. He's in a right state, like you are, seeing as he's the last Marauder left. And Peter doesn't count, the great prat. And if all else fails, you could chat up greasy old Sniv- Severus. He's a bit of a git at times, but he's in the Order and I think he wouldn't mind if you really (we're talkin' desperate) needed someone. He might not be of much help, but at least he might listen for a bit.

'Course, you could always just talk to me or your parents.

Big things are coming your way, mate. You've got a seriously rough patch of road coming, but keep your head held up high. You'll suffer more losses, I expect, but don't go overboard with the emotions. I know you've already felt like you want to end it all, but promise me you won't do that. I wouldn't be able to stand myself. It would be my fault, I 'spect you probably already would have, if you hadn't talked to Dumbledore. So promise me, Harry, that you won't do anything crazy. It's hard enough for me being up here. I do have my best friend back, but I waited so long to see you, spent years in Azkaban waiting for the moment to really meet you. I hadn't seen you since you were a baby. For a moment there, the only thing missing in my life was my two other Marauders. And know of got one back, lost another. And I lost you. Well, no, I shouldn't say that. I haven't lost you and Moony exactly. I'll see you again. But it's very hard, being up here and not being able to chat with you properly. This place is much, much better than down there, but, still, I feel like I've got two chunks missing from me. At times, I hope that they'll be filled again, but then I think 'Sirius what are you thinking? That's like wishing death on them!' Can't have that. That's a bit ill minded. But then again, why wouldn't I want you to be up here when it's so much better, where you could be pain free? It's all very confusing, Harry.

One thing I am sure of is that you've got a bit to go before your time's up. You are meant for so many things, you can't leave until you've completed them. Not failed, completed. I know you won't fail. You know why I know this? Because I know you. You'll make us proud. You've got more in your hands than your own life. I expect it gets a bit overwhelming, eh? We'll try to ease your load the best we can, promise.

And those Dursleys, well, you won't have to worry as much about the way the treat you now! Not when you've got old Mad-Eye on your side. I think your summer will have one less thing to worry about now.

You can do this, Harry. You can. James, Lily, me, and Cedric all believe in you. No matter how hard it gets, don't forget about all of us, rooting you on. We're cheering for you. Oh, do you know that thunderstorm the other day? That was James and I. I was in one of my moods, and Prongs wasn't taking it well. The rainbow at the end was your mother. She wanted to send a little something to cheer you up, since your father and I obviously weren't. Cedric and a few of the others said she should make the red and yellow at the top to help you think of Gryffindor, but Lily put the green at the top so you would know for sure who it was coming from.

I've only got a few minutes of time with you left. Cedric says not to worry too much about Cho, she's very confused and she'll come around. I have no idea what in Merlin's name he's talking about, but he says you'll understand. Your father and Mother say they miss you very much, and love you more than they can express.

I miss you so much Harry, I'm not sure you'll ever understand how much. Give old Snivelly a nice kick in the shins for me! Wait, I'm only joking. But if you get the chance...

Anyway, we all want you to know that when your time is up, we'll all be waiting for you with open arms.

We all love you and miss you, and we're smiling down on you. And don't forget that when you see a bit of thunder and lightning, that's just me and Prongs. And if there's a rainbow at the end, and if its got green at the top, I'm sure you'll know where that came from. I'm going to see if I can pull a few strings and get you a light shower of rain next Tuesday. I want to send you a little something so you'll know it's me, and well, frankly, rainbows aren't my deal.

I miss you and hope to chat again soon.

Make us proud, Harry.