Alright

By the look of your smiles you are both content with each other's company. And why shouldn't you be? You have relied heavily upon each other for years, but lately you have needed that bond more than ever.

It has not been much of a secret that you had a problem. How could anyone not? How it was hard for you to trust anyone at first. It was a year before you opened up to the other two of us in the dormitory. You had trouble with the simplest spells. People would laugh at you, but only I saw the true problem. You had no confidence in yourself. By our second year I knew that it would eventually destroy you. People always used to think that you were mad. I never thought so, but I could not bring myself to tell you so. It's not like I am not a social person; it's just hard for me to talk about my feelings about other people. At this though I tremble a little. My feelings....

I knew that I was different from everyone else in the school from the very beginning. But it wasn't until fourth year that I began to be uncomfterable with my sexual preference. While you both were talking about boys with hushed voices and loud giggles, I was thinking about that pretty redhead from Ravenclaw. I did not share this with you of course, just laughed with you, and pretended to be interested when talking about this boy or that boy. I never really liked boys. They only have one layer what you see is what you get. Females however are extremely fascinating. You fascinate me, you have for years. But in has only been in the past few months that I have gotten under your layers and found what is lying inside. And what I found is half-dead. Had I know that you wished you were dead perhaps things would have turned out differently.

It was one day about three months ago that effected how things would turn out in the end. It was the most horrible day of my life.

That day when I found you sitting on the floor of the shower, blood mixing with the water and running slowly down the drain.

"Angelina," I said softly and you dropped the razor you were holding and it landed on the tile with a small click. Then you turned to me and that is a moment I will never forget. Your long dark hair falling around your pale face in wet tendrils, blood dripping from the tips. But it was the look in your eyes, the look of despair and defeat in your eyes is what etched that moment into my memory forever. You made an almost inaudible noise, as if to say something. I felt bile rise in my throat and I turned but slipped on the floor.

"Wait..." you croaked but I ran as fast as I could.

'Must find someone...someone...anyone..." these words entered my head, and almost instantly she appeared.

"Katie..." I said breathlessly. "Angelina...she...she..." I couldn't bring myself to say anything more, but she seemed to get the basic idea, and ran off to help you. And I guess she did because after that you have been spending so much time with each other than ever before.

I think I have taken our time spent together for granted. I used to cherish the few moments when I could be alone to sort out my thoughts, but now that is all I have, and it is slowly driving me mad.

If things were perfect I would be able to tell you how I feel, and you would accept it, and be happy. You would be happy with the world and with yourself. You would think that you are worth something because I think so. You wouldn't just say it to satisfy me, you would really believe it. You would smile more often, and enjoy life again. I would be able to tell you my thoughts and feelings and you would listen. We would comfort each other in our distress and celebrate our personal victories.

And each night I would whisper that I love you, and you would smile gently and tell me the same. You would pull me to you and our lips would meet slowly and sweetly. You would make me burn for you, just through your kiss. Our tongues would intertwine just as our bodies wish to do but could not, because there are people outside the door. But in that moment we could care less lost in our need for each other. I would touch your soft unmarred skin, your black hair falling over my own skin, your dark eyes engulfing me as I slowly bring you to fulfillment. Then you would do the same for me and we would both fall back, sighing in bliss.

But that bliss would be denying who I am, and who you are. You were never happy with who you are, because you do not see the beauty in yourself. You are beautiful. You are worth something, for you make me who I am, you complete me, make me whole. And it hurts. It hurts me to see you hurt yourself. I wish that I could do something to help you....

My gaze turns to the window again and I watch you, hand in hand with her, as you walk around the Quiddich pitch.

I wish I could tear my gaze away, but I can't. I should feel an emptiness inside, knowing that she is the one comforting you and not me. Somehow instead of jealously I feel and odd sense of calm, knowing that you will be ok, she will make things alright for you. And that is all that really matters right?