The World Is Not Enough

Ginny swung her legs out of bed, glancing at her roommate's Muggle alarm clock. Fifteen-till-midnight. Perfect, she thought, quietly going to the wardrobe across from her bed and pulling out her cloak. Pulling it around her shoulders, she crept out of the dormitory without breathing, for fear of waking anyone up. Not that they'd care if they saw her. It would only be more gossip.

I know how to hurt

The first time Ginny realized she'd never be allowed in a Circle of Friends, it hadn't really come as a surprise. Honestly, who was she kidding? Hardly anyone noticed her anymore, and she had stopped being bothered by it long ago.

Just the other day in Arithmancy, Professor Vector had partnered the students up to work on a difficult problem. Ginny's partner was Natalie MacDonald, a fellow Gryffindor fifth-year. Natalie didn't even know Ginny's first name, despite the fact that they'd been sleeping in the same room for the past five years. Ginny was only known as "the youngest Weasley" to her peers - she'd known that since her first year.

After class, when Ginny picked up the quill Natalie had forgotten with intentions to deliver it to its rightful owner, she expected at least to be acknowledged. Instead, Ginny had walked up behind Natalie, who was walking along with three of her friends, and had overheard Natalie detailing every flaw in Ginny's wardrobe.

Ginny kept the quill. Later that evening in the Gryffindor common room, after everyone else had gone to bed, she'd written "Natalie MacDonald" all over a piece of parchment. Then she'd burnt it slowly in the flames of the dying fire, finally falling asleep on the floor next to the hearth.

I know how to kill

Ginny dreamt all the time. She couldn't remember what it was like to have a pleasant dream, and she couldn't even comfort herself with the knowledge that her dreams - more accurately, nightmares - weren't real and never could be real.

Night after night, she would wake up in cold sweats, having some vague idea that she'd just relived a night being possessed by Tom. The dreams were vivid, and for a few hours after waking up, she could remember every detail.

Ginny stopped eating breakfast early in her fourth year - how could anyone expect her to eat knowing she'd bathed in blood the night before?

I know what to show

And what to conceal

For a little more than a year after what her family had dubbed "the Chamber incident," Ginny's parents had paid for her weekly visits to a psychiatrist at St. Mungo's. She'd only humored them by going; Ginny could have told them nothing would help her "recover" because it was impossible to recover from Tom Riddle, but she really did love her parents, and they worried enough about her.

When she was seeing the psychiatrist, a nice young woman named Ellen, Ginny was allowed a draught of Dreamless Sleep potion each night - something she now missed. However, since she'd faked a steady recovery and had stopped meeting with Ellen, Ginny wasn't allowed any heavy or regular medications. Ellen had classified her as "at risk" for developing "dangerous addictions."

Ginny had found that particularly amusing. She was constantly suffering from a dangerous addiction: Tom Riddle. Nothing, whether it be a Muggle narcotic or a Wizarding tranquilizer, would ease the longing for him. Sometimes she would wake up in the middle of the night and just barely be able restrain herself from walking into Tom's Chamber.

She didn't love him, and never had, but the most haunting thing he'd told her was that love and hate were such different emotions that they were practically identical. So Ginny told herself she hated him.

I know when to talk

She'd tried out her share of friendships. In her first year - which she liked to pretend hadn't happened - she'd always had Tom. Although Ginny seldom admitted it to herself, Tom was the only real friend she'd ever had.

Until her fourth year, she'd been grudgingly allowed to follow The Dream Team around. Ginny figured it was mostly due to Hermione's powers of persuasion - although Ron was overprotective, yes, he was extremely dense. He was always telling Ginny she should make more friends and meet more people - but only people he approved of, and never his friends.

Before her fourth year, when she'd finally resolved not to worry herself over being excluded from The Dream Team, she'd bumped into Luna Lovegood on a narrow street in downtown London. They'd gone together to Diagon Alley and become friends, but it hadn't taken Ginny long to figure out that was all they could be. She couldn't trust Luna with her secrets or her darkest thoughts, because Luna was mentally incapable of being close to anyone, much less Ginny.

She was still on good terms with Luna, but Ginny tended to avoid her because she was always running around with The Dream Team. It irked Ginny to watch a girl her age, with no connections to Harry, Ron, or Hermione, be accepted so smoothly into their clique.

And I know when to touch

Bill, the most empathetic of her brothers and, until recently, her only confidante, always tried to bring up "happy" memories. His favorite choice was Ginny attending the Yule Ball with Neville. He liked to point out to her that she was one of two third-years able to attend, and that must mean she had something going for her.

Ginny never had told Bill - or anyone else - that she had been Neville's last choice for the Ball. She wasn't stupid - she knew he had been desperate for a date. And nobody had been lining up to date her after that.

For a while, in her fifth year, she'd persuaded a few boys to date her briefly, mostly to keep up appearances. But the people she'd dated (Michael Corner, Dean Thomas, Wayne Hopkins) had never understood her, and the relationships had always been terminated in less than a month.

But it didn't bother Ginny. Since she'd gotten over her long-term - and dreadfully embarrassing - crush on Harry, the Boy-With-No-Idea-Ginny-Exists, she hadn't given much thought to starting any sort of romantic relationship.

No one ever died from wanting too much

Ginny had always had the idea that she was more mature than the rest of the students in her year and most of the students in the years above her. She knew she and Hermione would get along fantastically if it weren't for Ron and Harry - and Ginny knew she couldn't come between The Dream Team.

At the start of her fifth year, Ginny had been eating dinner after the Sorting Ceremony, when it had finally hit her: why was she wasting her time worrying about what she was doing wrong in the eyes of her peers? In two more years, she'd be out of Hogwarts and in the real world, where she could do anything she wanted.

So Ginny had become aloof, throwing herself into preparing for her O.W.L.s and doing extra-credit essays for various classes. Nobody had noticed the change in her attitude, or if they had, they didn't care enough to comment.

She was above the other students, who anxiously awaited weekend trips to Hogsmeade and special-delivery packages from Zonko's. Ginny was working for an ultimate goal. She didn't know what it was, but she'd figure it out, and when she did, she'd be ready.

The world is not enough

But it is such a perfect place to start, my love

Creeping down the stairs into the common room, she carefully avoided the steps that creaked loudly, as she hadn't planned an excuse in case a Prefect caught her. Ginny had snuck out at night before, but never for anything as urgent and important as tonight.

And if you're strong enough

Together we can take the world apart, my love

Draco paced back and forth just out of range of the Whomping Willow, warily staying within its shadows. He glanced at the half-moon, hanging low over Hogwarts. Ten-till, he thought, pacing more vehemently and clenching his jaw. If she doesn't show, we're both dead...

People like us

Know how to survive

As they both were loners, it wasn't much of a coincidence that Draco and Ginny ended up alone in the compartment separating two train cars on the Hogwarts Express, carrying them to their fifth and sixth years at Hogwarts.

Draco had been rather surprised at how easy Ginny was to talk to. She'd immediately asked him where Crabbe and Goyle were - he'd ditched them at the food trolley - and then had asked if he liked it better without them around.

Draco had been startled at the ease with which he'd told her how he preferred to be alone, because he hated everyone. He already knew that Ginny constantly strove to share the spotlight with somebody - anybody - but he'd asked her where Potter was anyway, just to measure her reaction.

He hadn't figured she'd roll her eyes and suggest he was inserting certain parts of his anatomy in obscene places while in the lavatory. That had been the start of their strange and sporadic relationship. It wasn't a friendship at first - neither of them wanted that - they had both simply acknowledged that they could tolerate one another.

There's no point in living

If you can't feel the life

For the first few months, they met at night, when they were sure nobody would see them. Draco had always been the protagonist, as Ginny had a rather old-fashioned attitude about meeting boys - even if it was merely platonic - in the middle of the night.

He'd gotten mad at her when she'd seen the thin scars on his wrists and asked him what they were from - as if she didn't know. Draco had stormed off, leaving Ginny in the empty Charms classroom, wondering what in the hell she'd said.

Draco had ignored her for a couple of weeks, until she wrote him a brief letter, asking him to meet her in the astronomy tower. That night, she'd shown him her scars, and they'd reached a mutual understanding - neither of them would tell.

They'd talked about it that night - after all, they talked about everything - and Ginny had commented that the only reason she ever cut herself was just to check that she was alive. Draco thought it was an interesting point, as he had no idea why he did it - maybe just to feel, and had thought about her reasoning a lot after that.

We know when to kiss

Draco was far from inexperienced, but the first time he'd kissed Ginny, he knew he'd never kiss or be kissed like that ever again. Ginny had pointed out that it probably felt so incredible because it made a difference when you cared about the person.

He was still pondering that. Draco didn't know how much he cared about Ginny. He knew he'd die for her, but he knew he'd die for a lot of things. Draco had never been in love, and, as far as he knew, had never been loved by someone.

After their relationship had become more...physical...Ginny had told Draco she loved him. He felt slightly guilty after she said that, because he didn't know if the feeling was returned, and didn't say anything. But Ginny, who was nothing if not understanding, hadn't cared.

And we know when to kill

When he'd gained her complete trust, Ginny occasionally mentioned Tom Riddle and what he'd done to her. Draco had a vague idea of what had happened in the Chamber of Secrets, but was grateful to finally hear the true story from a reliable source.

After Ginny got more detailed - it seemed to help her to unburden her mind, and as he found what she had to say fascinating, Draco was happy to listen - Draco started to return the trust she placed in him. One night, when she seemed particularly lethargic, he told her briefly about his childhood in an attempt to get her mind off of...whatever it was on.

They started comparing their families, and the discussion inevitably turned toward the Death Eaters. Ginny had been mostly curious about the reasoning of anyone who joined "The Fold," and as Draco had nothing to hide, he told her everything he knew.

Draco had always been secretive about his father's "alter-ego," but now, as his father was currently serving a life-term in Azkaban, it didn't seem to matter. And Ginny listened to him - a year ago, he never would have thought it would feel so good to be able to tell someone about the thoughts that constantly tormented him.

If we can't have it all

Then nobody will

When Ginny finally asked if Draco was a Death Eater yet, the last barrier between them was lifted. He said truthfully that he didn't know if he wanted to join or not. For about five hours - longer than they were usually together, because at some point, they both had to sleep - she listened earnestly as he prattled on about the pros and cons of joining The Fold.

When he had talked himself into a corner, Ginny had summed it up quite bluntly by saying, "So, if you join, you don't die. You might kill people, but honestly, if you went with Dumbledore or the Ministry, you'd kill people, too. And if you go with either of them, the Dark Lord will hunt you down and kill you."

So Draco had finally made up his mind - he'd join. When he'd told Ginny, she'd shown no visible reaction and had offered him a Sugar Quill.

The world is not enough

But it is such a perfect place to start, my love

So he waited under the huge, currently passive willow tree, thinking about all the things that could happen to him at his initiation. His father had never really explained it to him - Draco had just been expected to go through with it - and was rather indisposed to give him any last-minute advice.

The worst that can happen is Cruciatus, thought Draco, lamely trying to reassure himself. Ginny! Hurry up, damn it!

And if you're strong enough

Together we can take the world apart, my love

He was immensely relieved when he saw a slight figure walking toward him, ignoring the glare of lights from the castle and the loud crunching of dry grass under her feet. Draco rolled his eyes and waited until Ginny had reached him under the tree. "Could you be any more conspicuous?" he hissed, irritable due to the lack of sleep and/or caffeine.

"Probably," returned Ginny. He could see the ornery glint in her eyes, and smiled shortly. "I could send up sparks, summon a Blast-Ended Skrewt-"

Draco put a hand over her mouth. "Right," he said, his voice dropping to just slightly louder than a whisper. "I received instructions after dinner; we're supposed to walk due east until we're out of the Hogwarts grounds. Then someone's supposed to meet us..."

They started walking, sticking close to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, engulfed in the ominous shadows the huge trees cast. After about ten minutes, Ginny slipped her hand into Draco's.

I...I feel sick

"Do you know what happens?" she asked quietly, her tone betraying her nervousness that was otherwise undetectable.

Draco shrugged - his fear was ebbing as the time approached; Ginny seemed to be experiencing the opposite reaction. "Father barely told me anything, but he said it was painful. What did you expect?" he asked in the same low voice, looking down at her out of the corner of his eyes.

I...I feel scared

"Will...the Dark Lord...be there?" asked Ginny, her voice beginning to shake.

Draco raised an eyebrow. "This close to Hogwarts? I doubt it. Father said he and a few other people - Snape, actually - were initiated by Rudolphus Lestrange, and about five others showed up to make sure no one rebelled."

"Oh," said Ginny, and Draco could feel her relax a bit. "Aren't you nervous?"

"No," Draco lied, knowing that Ginny knew he was petrified; neither of them felt the need to clarify.

I...I feel ready

They stayed reflectively silent for the next two hours, walking sometimes through forests and sometimes through fields. By then, Draco had built up his courage. He was also feeling rather resentful toward whoever had sent him the directions, as they had insisted he and Ginny walk. They could have flown thus far on brooms in about twenty minutes at the longest.

Draco saw four dark robed figures standing in the meadow ahead of them. He squeezed Ginny's hand and let go; they walked toward the Death Eaters separately.

He took a deep breath as he said his name, stopping an arm's length away from the tallest figure in the middle. Ginny followed suit; her voice was strong and sure. Draco couldn't help feeling slightly proud of her as the man in front of them, whom he recognized as Walden Macnair, began to rattle off the traditional Code.

And yet unprepared

Ginny heard absolutely nothing the man said. She was too busy thinking of what her family would do, should they find out what she had done this night. Then maybe they should have asked, she thought defiantly, as the man officiating asked them to put their left arms forward.

The world is not enough

But it is such a perfect place to start, my love

Draco took a huge breath and held it, waiting to exhale at the first sign of pain. He cleared his mind, as his father had taught him, and kept his eyes focused on Macnair's masked face.

And if you're strong enough

"Morsmordre!"

Flames licked at his feet, slowly engulfing him. The pain was worse than anything Draco had ever experienced, and he dropped to his knees without knowing it. He felt like he was immersed in the hottest fire in Hell; just as it began to accept that he was going to die, he felt a strong pull on his left forearm.

Ginny emerged from the fire understanding exactly what she had just done. She felt refreshed, rejuvenated, born again. For the first time since she was eleven, she couldn't feel the constant longing for Tom at the back of her mind, and she knew that she had a Purpose.

Ginny glanced at Draco, who was back on his feet beside her, and he met her eyes. She couldn't remember him looking at her like that ever before.

I think I did do the right thing, she thought, unaware that he was thinking the same thing.

Together we can take the world apart, my love

The world is not enough