Life without danger is a waste of oxygen

Hermione snuggled back in her bed. This is weird, she thought. Her back was lovely and warm; it was almost like someone's chest was right up against it.

"Morning," Hermione heard. She opened her eyes to see Draco lying in bed next to her.

This is strange, she thought. Why am I in this bed? The realisation of her actions the night before then hit her.

"Oh no," she said.

"What's wrong?" asked Draco, looking puzzled.

Before he could ask again, Hermione had run from the room, her face red with shame. It wasn't meant to go like this. Draco had woken with her lying in his arms this morning. He'd had it all planned out. After waiting patiently for her to finally wake up, he had thought that after last night, they would be happy together.

Well, not to worry, he would just have to catch her after she had gotten ready.

"Are you alright?" he asked, when she had finally left from her room.

She shook her head in response, refusing to lift her eyes and make eye contact.

"You didn't have to rush out of my room like that," he said kindly. He reached out to touch her, but Hermione stepped back.

"Ron," she said, quietly.

"No," Draco began, trying to stay calm, "my name is Draco."

"Ron and I were together last night. We...we kissed."

"I know, I saw. Look, it's okay. It's not like I've never kissed anyone else. We'll just forget about it."

"That's not what I mean. Ron...he asked me to be his girlfriend last night."

"Well, Weasley will just have to get over it."

"Get over it?"

"Get over you and me. Us being together." Draco explained as though it was the most simple thing in the whole world.

"Draco, I'm sorry but there is no you and me, there can't be." For the first time that morning she looked up and into his eyes.

"So what was all of last night about then?" he demanded.

"I've known Ron forever; I can't hurt him like that."

"Even thought you'll be hurting me, and lying to yourself."

"I love Ron."

"Sure you do," he scoffed.

"Draco, I'm sorry. I need you to understand that..."

"No, Hermione," he interrupted. "Can you honestly tell me that you don't have feelings for me? What about last night?"

"I care about you Draco, you know I do."

"But you're going to choose him over me."

"It's not like that," she insisted. "I can't hurt him. He's my best friend."

"What about hurting me? We had sex last night, Hermione. In case you didn't remember, it was my first time." Hermione looked down at the floor again, unable to look him in the eye any longer.

"Draco, I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He turned away.

"Draco, I don't want you to hate me. Please."

Draco sighed. "I won't tell him," he said eventually.

"Huh?"

"Weasel--I won't tell him or anybody else about last night."

"Thank you, Draco."

"Don't thank me. I don't want anyone knowing that I was with a dirty little Mudblood last night. I feel violated. Have fun pretending with Weasley." Draco stormed off.

**********

Hermione had a free period in the morning, so she made her way down to the hospital wing to continue her training as a mediwitch. Madame Pomfrey was waiting for her in her office.

"Hello, dear," she called Hermione in. "Shall we begin our lesson?"

"Please."

"Well, there's not much left that I can teach you. You know all the spells to cure physical injuries. Is there anything you have been thinking of?"

"I was thinking maybe potion cures for the different poisons and venoms."

"Well, that's way above my head. I'm afraid we rarely get anything so serious here, and when we do, one of the other professors will brew something up. Why the sudden interest anyway?"

"Oh, I'm just fascinated by medical magic, that's all. I do appreciate all the time you have given me since September."

"Oh, it's been a pleasure. I've never known someone to learn and pick things up as fast as you, Miss Granger. In fact, I may have something for you." Madame Pomfrey went into her closet and came back out with two books. The first titled Asiatic Anti-Venoms and the second Hairy Snout, Human Heart.

"Oh, thank you."

"You're welcome dear. These two books should satisfy your curious mind. I have some more good news too."

"Yes?"

"Your exam date has come through. An external examiner will be coming in this Saturday to mark you on your mediwitch skills. I know that you are more than prepared, so you will fly through quite easily."

"Thank you so much."

"You're welcome dear. Now run along. I'm sure you have much to discuss with your friends."

Hermione left and went straight up to the Gryffindor common room to tell Ron and Harry the good news. She found it empty though, so instead she made her way to the library.

**********

Ron came out of Divination with a huge grin on his face. Today he was going to have lunch with the woman he loved who was now his girlfriend. Guessing that she was in the library he went down there first to find her. Hermione threw her arms around his neck when she saw him, forgetting for a moment all of what happened yesterday.

"Ron, Madame Pomfrey believes I am ready to sit my mediwitch exam and so the examiner is coming in this Saturday." She grinned at him.

"Hermione, that's great." He bent down and kissed her. "Do you know how long I've been waiting to do that? Where were you at breakfast?"

"Oh, I slept in." She looked away from him, feeling very guilty about her exertions from the night before. Him kissing her had made it real. Ron was no longer just a friend, he was more, he wanted more.

"That's not like you, Hermione."

"So, how are your strategy technique classes going?" she asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Piece of cake. You've just got to have a chess-mind." He grinned at her. "So, will Dumbledore expect you to take up another class for something else?"

"I'm not sure. I was thinking of learning a language."

"You already speak French and English," he said, as though the idea of speaking more than one language was pointless.

"Not a Muggle language; something like Mermish or Gobbledegook," she said.

"What for?"

"You never know what the future will bring. It may come in handy one day."

"Are you coming to lunch?" he asked her, keen to show her off.

"Sure."

**********

Draco looked across the Great Hall during lunch to see Hermione and Ron in the first stages of a relationship. It made him sick.

What does Weasley have that I don't? He thought to himself. Nothing. Hermione is too nice for her own good. I hate him so much!

Draco went and sat down next to Blaise.

"Blaise, I shouldn't have choked you before. It's just, things are changing and you were reminding me of my Father."

"I'm sorry, mate. I think we need to talk though. Not here--come down to the Slytherin common room with me. It will be empty."

Draco followed Blaise out of the Great Hall and through the halls and into the common room.

"So, what's up?" Draco asked him.

"It's your Father. My Mum has been seeing a lot of Rabastan Lestrange recently. The bloody fool went and told her about some of the things discussed at the meetings with the Dark Lord."

"Yes, and?" prompted Draco impatiently.

"And your name was mentioned. They want to brand the Dark Mark on you this Christmas when you go home. They are planning a huge ceremony for it."

"Shit!" Draco kicked the wall hard. "Fuck!" He punched the stone wall, tearing the skin on his hand.

"Draco, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I just know I can't go home. If I do, then I come back branded like a fucking slave--that's if they let me come back. I hate this so much!"

"I've got money, Draco. If you need some to hide away I'll give it to you."

"No. If I hide, I'll be hiding all my life. I'll never be able to come back to Hogwarts and I'll never have money. I am not a coward, Blaise. I just don't want to follow that scrawny little wizard that everybody's so afraid of and spend my life as someone's servant. I used to look up to my Father; I used to aspire to be like him. Why does he allow that fool to treat him like shit?"

"Why not go to Dumbledore? He can help you." Blaise was worried for his friend's safety.

"No way! I'm not going under that bloody fool's protection. I just need to figure out a plan that means I have to stay here over Christmas."

"And then Easter, but what then? Where will you go in the summer? You can't put off the inevitable."

"Come summer and I'll be gone."

"Gone where?" asked Blaise, intrigued.

"Anywhere. I know enough to get by. I know people all over the place. I can travel, see the world."

"What about your Father?"

"I think by then he'll have got the message," said Draco. The determination could be heard in his voice.

"The people you know, aren't they all friends of your father's?"

"Not all, and anyway, I can make new friends."

"That's not all. I heard they'd be announcing your engagement at your initiation ceremony."

"Huh? Who to?" asked Draco, surprised.

People started to come into the common room and Draco gave Blaise a warning look to shut up.

"I'll see you later, Blaise," Draco said as he walked out.

Draco made his way down to Sergeant Larkin's office.

"Yes, lad, what can I do for you?" Larkin asked him.

"I wanted to suggest a trip--the whole class going away somewhere in the wild and putting some of these techniques you've been teaching us to use."

"And what gave you this idea?"

"Thought it might be fun."

"I can guess that you have also thought about when this little 'excursion' should take place too." Larkin stared at him.

"Perhaps over Christmas, to avoid missing any lessons," said Draco, innocently.

Larkin leaned across his table and looked Draco square in the eyes.

"Why don't you want to go home, lad?" he asked.

"That's private."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I'll arrange the trip, but you owe me."

"What?" asked Draco.

"You don't want to tell me what this is about, so the way I see it, I'm not helping you, I'm doing you a favour, so now you owe me."

"Fine." Draco picked up his things and left.

**********

"Dumbledore."

"Professor Larkin. You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, but quickly, as I have a lesson."

"What can I do for you?"

"I want to take my seventh year troops out into the wilderness for a while over Christmas to show them what tough really is."

"How long is a little while?"

"A week, maybe."

"As long as you take full responsibility for them, I don't see why not. Although I would like you to bear in mind that their other teachers will be giving them a lot of homework to do over Christmas. Also, I would like you to know that as it is over the Christmas break, it can only be optional. If a student wishes to go home, they must be allowed."

"Thank you, Headmaster. I'll get back to the kids now."

"Dumbledore nodded at him and he left.

**********

At the end of the DADA lesson, Sergeant Larkin called everybody together.

"Troops, I have a challenge for you. If you choose to accept, you will be spending five days, beginning in the Isle of Drear, then onto Inverness before returning to Hogwarts. You will face mainly Kelpies and Quintaped, both of which we have learnt offensive and defensive spells against. You will learn to keep alive in adverse circumstances and put to use some of the magic you have been taught in order to protect yourselves and others from the beasts out there. You will all be putting yourselves in a very dangerous situation and may get seriously injured. However, I think most people here would survive, providing they listen to the training they have been given. Anyone who does not wish to go will not be thought of as a coward. This trip is not compulsory, though only the brave need apply. Sign your name on the list at the back if you are interested."

Hermione threw her hand into the air.

"Yes?" he asked, sharply.

"Will it count towards our final mark?" she asked, keen to do well.

"No," he said, knowing it was going to be one of those lessons. When he took the seventh years he always wished for Hermione to be ill. Not seriously ill, just bad enough for her to have to miss the lesson for he hated being questioned by students.

"May I ask why you are holding a field trip in our NEWT year if it is not going to count towards the final test?"

"No," he answered, thinking that that would shut her up.

"Well I just think that if it's so important that we should miss studying time for it that it should count towards our final marks and we should all go. That way none of us are disadvantaged."

"It's not study time it's cutting into," called out Seamus. "I wouldn't mind it cutting into that. Why does it have to be in the holidays?"

"But the holidays are study times," insisted Hermione.

"ENOUGH!" barked Professor Larkin. "Those who go, go, those who don't, don't. End of discussion."

Draco wondered whether Hermione was going to sign her name also. It would be nice to spend some time with her over Christmas. He looked over at Larkin and nodded at him, silently thanking him for making this possible.

By the time he got up to the board, the other Slytherins and Gryffindors had already put down their names--those that were going, that is. The list was fairly long considereing, and it included Harry, Neville, Ron, Pansy and Hermione. Draco added his name to the bottom and then went to find Pansy.

"Pansy, why have you signed up to the trip? Larkin has done nothing but torture you since you started in September."

"I have my reasons, Draco."

"Are things bad at home for you too?" he asked, genuinely sympathetic.

"They've been worse. I'm engaged."

"What? You too, huh? Who's your fiancé?"

"Kendrick Pikes," she said in a far away voice.

"Pansy, I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you've got it worse."

"Worse than being forced to marry someone twice my age who doesn't love you? I'm sorry, I shouldn't say that. When's the wedding?" he asked.

"This summer, they wanted me to leave Hogwarts and get married sooner, but I begged them to let me stay."

"I didn't know."

"Yes, well, you haven't been around much lately, have you?" she asked in an accusing voice.

"I know. Pansy, we've known each other for a very long time. If you ever need to talk, I'll listen."

"Thanks. So, when's your Dark Mark ceremony?"

"There isn't going to be one," he said.

"What?" she asked.

"It's meant to be this Christmas, but I'm not going home. I won't go home this Easter either."

"You'll have to in the summer," said Pansy.

"I'll be long gone by the time my Father comes to pick me up."

"He'll find you."

"Never."

"Where will you go?" she asked him after a short period of silence.

"I don't know yet."

"Will you stay in touch when you leave, Draco?" This was the big question she wanted to know. They had grown up playing together, went to school together, and now finally, it looked as though he was moving away.

"I don't know. I doubt your new husband will want that. You do know that he is a Death Eater, don't you?"

"I know," she said, trying to hold back her tears.

"I'll come back for you one day, Pansy. When there's somewhere better I can take you."

She smiled up at him.

"You and I both know the Dark Lord will keep getting stronger, and the attacks will keep coming. All we can do is keep on the right side and try to stay alive. There'll never be a better life," she told him, and then walked off. Pansy didn't want him to see the tears streaming down her cheeks. Draco was so brave that she always felt she needed to be strong around him, and tried never to show him her weak side.

**********

"This is nice, isn't it?" Hermione said.

"What is?" Ron asked her.

"Well, the four of us, together like this."

Hermione, Ron, Harry and Ginny were all sitting on the sofas in the Gryffindor common room.

"We should definitely double date this weekend. There's a trip to Hogsmeade," Hermione continued.

"Steady on, Hermione," Ron said. "Harry and Ginny may already have plans."

"Nope," Harry said. "A double date sounds great, doesn't it, Ginny?" Ginny nodded, looking away.

"Do you think there's any way Sergeant Larkin may let me go on the trip too?" she asked.

"Ginny, you could ask for permission to go to obtain potion ingredients. I'm sure if you asked Dumbledore he would give you permission," Hermione suggested.

"Thanks. I'll go and ask him now."

"Ron," Hermione began. "It's my parent's wedding anniversary coming up soon."

"That's nice. Hey, Harry, do you want a game of chess."

"I've just remembered I've got some work to do," Hermione said as she got up and left.

"Ron, that was rude," said Harry.

"I know, I'll apologise later. It's just I felt an invite coming along and I'm not ready to go and meet her parents, that's all."

"Why not?"

"If you had never met my Mum before, and you went to meet her for the first time, as Ginny's boyfriend, how would you feel?" asked Ron.

"Nervous. No, scrape that--I'd be terrified."

"Exactly. Plus, Hermione's parents are Muggles."

"So?" asked Harry.

"So, I couldn't exactly talk to them about Quidditch, could I? I hardly know anything about Muggles. They'd probably think I was thick."

"Compared with Hermione, who isn't?"

"I'll go and find her in a bit."

**********

Hermione stormed outside to get some fresh air. She walked down to the lake and saw Malfoy, inhaling deeply from yet another cigarette.

"What are you doing out here? It's cold," she began, keen to rid any awkwardness between them.

"What the fuck do you want?" he spat without lifting his eyes.

"I came out for some air."

"Isn't there any in the castle?" asked Draco sarcastically.

"Fresh air, Draco. I wouldn't expect you to understand with all the cigarettes you smoke."

"How are things with Weasley?" he began again, desperate to hear they'd fallen out.

"Don't," she said softly, as she sat down beside him and they both looked out over the lake.

"I saw you talking to Pansy earlier. It looked serious," Hermione said eventually. Still neither of them turned to look at one another.

"It was, and before you ask, no, it's not any of your business."

"Fine. I was only trying to be friendly."

"Friendly?" he laughed, finally turning his head to her.

"You know, when one makes polite conversation about what things they've been doing."

"Sounds like being nosy to me, but I'll give it a go. How was your day, Hermione?"

"It went well, thank you. How was yours?" she asked, turning her head to meet his.

"So-so. Are you going to Hogsmeade this Saturday?"

"Yes, but not until the afternoon. I have an exam in the morning," said Hermione.

"What for?"

"Medi-magic."

"Really? Wow, I must say I'm impressed. When did you start training for that?" asked Draco.

"Well, I read a few books over summer, and then Madame Pomfrey has been training me since September."

"You never said anything," said Draco.

"Are you going into Hogsmeade this weekend?"

"Perhaps. I quite fancy a bit of shopping. Will I see you in there in the afternoon?" asked Draco, trying to sound casual.

"Well, I..."

"You're meeting Potter and Weasley," he said, finishing her sentence.

"Yes."

"Oh, well." Draco turned back to look over the lake.

"Draco, I know this is none of my business, but Pansy seemed very upset earlier, and you didn't seem too happy yourself."

"Like you care."

"I do." She reached out and touched him. That was all it took.

"What are you going to do when you finish Hogwarts this year?" asked Draco as he once again turned to face her.

"I'm not sure yet, why?" she asked him.

"Well, Pureblood families tend to want their children to do something respectable in their eyes, so that they can show off to their other Pureblood friends."

"They've chosen her career?"

"Yes. A house-wife to a Death Eater," said Draco simply.

"What? What does Pansy think about this?"

"What do you think? Just because we've been brought up by monsters doesn't mean we are monsters. Not all of us, anyway."

"So why doesn't Pansy just tell her parents that she doesn't want to get married, or that she wants to choose her own husband?" asked Hermione.

Draco threw his head back and laughed.

"Why are you laughing? I think this is serious."

"You are so naïve. If you told your parents, as a child, that you did not want to go to school, would they have let you do something else instead?" asked Draco.

"Well, of course not, but that's different."

"It's not different. As a parent it is your duty to educate your child. Some parents have different ideas of duty, but it is still duty all the same."

"And what about you, Draco? What is your duty to your family?" she asked cautiously. Hermione wanted to know the answer but at the same time she didn't.

"What do you think? To continue the Malfoy traditions, of course."

"And do those traditions include loyalties to Voldemort?"

"The Malfoy name travels back for generations, long before he was ever even thought of!" scoffed Draco.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"You," she said. Hermione looked deep into his eyes as though she was trying to read them.

"Don't, Granger. I don't want your pity. Pansy won't want it either so keep your mouth shut."

"Draco, you know I won't say anything. I just want us to be friends."

"Why? You have enough friends, and I don't need any," he said, stubbornly.

"Everybody needs friends, and besides, I'm kind of drawn to you." Hermione smiled at him and Draco began to smile back. Those lips--he really wanted to kiss her.

"Hey, Hermione, there you are," Harry shouted over as he suddenly appeared.

"Hey." Hermione answered.

"Ron was looking for you."

"Okay, thanks Harry, I'll go find him." Hermione stood up. "I'll see you later, Draco," she said before leaving.

Draco didn't take his eyes off her until she was completely gone out of view. She had called him Draco in front of someone. Surely that meant something?

"Malfoy," said Harry.

"Potter."

"Can I have a word?"

"Sure, doesn't mean I'll listen," said Draco as he began to stand up.

"It's about Hermione." Draco turned suddenly to face Harry.

"Talk."

"I've noticed things, about you and her. I want to know what's going on," demanded Harry.

"Nothing."

"You're lying," accused Harry.

"So what if I am?" smirked Draco.

"She's with Ron."

"I know."

"Then leave things alone," Harry warned him.

"What? You should bloody well know by now that I do what I like. Not what some spotty little arsey half-wit tells me." Harry took a deep breath to stop himself from reaching out to hit Malfoy.

"Don't get in between them, it's not fair," Harry began again.

"What do you know about fair?" Draco spat at him.

"Nothing. My parents were murdered when I was one, I was brought up by people who hated me and Voldemort is constantly making threats at my life."

"Boo-hoo. Get used to it, Potter, life's not fair," Draco drawled.

"Hermione and Ron are happy together. They deserve that. She deserves to be happy."

"Ron won't make her happy. He'll shit all over and then when she eventually leaves him, he'll realise what he had. By then of course, it will be too late. Like I said, life's not fair."

"Ron loves her," Harry insisted.

"Ron could never make her happy."

"And you could?"

"If I wanted to. I could have anyone I wanted."

"You're not good enough for her," said Harry.

"I've changed."

"You'll never be good enough for her."

"P-piss off, Potter." Draco began walking away, shaking a little.

"You're the son of a Death Eater, Lucius' spawn. I wouldn't be surprised if you were a Death Eater too. Hermione just pities you." Harry shouted after Draco as he broke into a run. He ran and he ran without stopping. It began to rain heavily and yet he continued running, as this was the only way to block the thoughts running through his head. Harry seemed to have hit on a few home truths.