So It Goes

Chapter 4: Kisses and Confusion

It was time for Ginny to go to her first Potions tutoring lesson with Malfoy. She was looking forward to it like she looked forward to an old tooth being pulled. She walked slowly from the Gryffindor table after she was done eating her lunch. She was ambling towards the door when Harry caught up with her.

"Ginny, where are you going?"

Ginny spun around to meet Harry. She smiled as he moved closer to her.

"Oh, Harry. I have my first extra Potions lesson. I don't want to go," Ginny sighed pushing her hair back from her face and resting her hand on her forehead in dread.

"Well, would you like company?" Harry asked as he began to walk out of the Dining Hall and head towards the dungeons.

"Oh, thanks Harry. That'd be great," she said, smiling.

"So, Ginny. I was wondering. What do you want to do on Saturday?" Harry asked, blushing slightly.

"Aren't we going to Hogsmeade?"

"Oh...yes, definitely, I was just wondering what you wanted to do. I was thinking we could go to dinner."

Ginny's stomach fluttered as she grinned and replied, "Of course. That sounds lovely."

As she spoke she turned to her right and found herself right next to the dungeon doors.

"Well, I shouldn't prolong the inevitable. I guess I'll go face my impending doom."

Harry looked sympathetic.

"I'm sorry you have to do this, Gin. I wish I could tutor you instead of that git Malfoy."

"I do too," Ginny responded half-heartedly, knowing Snape would never allow it.

"Well, as soon as you're done, come find me and spill any dirt and embarrassing habits you find out about him," Harry said, smiling.

He looked around, unsure of himself, and then quickly planted a kiss on Ginny's cheek. He looked at her, blushing still, waved, and then walked quickly back towards to dining hall.

Ginny gave herself a second to bask in her new found relationship with Harry before she turned to the dungeon doors and opened them, making her way down to Snape's office.

Once she got to the bottom of the dark, cold stairwell, she knocked on the first door to her left.

"Come in."

Ginny opened the door to find Snape sitting behind his desk wearing an unnaturally large sneer. Malfoy was sitting on the corner of the desk, with an uncannily similar smirk across his face.

"Ms. Weasley, I am so glad you finally decided you grace us with your presence. You're late," Snape drawled.

Before Ginny could utter a response, he continued.

"I was planning on staying with you two today to watch over your progress, but business has called me elsewhere, so I will leave you in the charge of Mr. Malfoy. I am sure I don't need to introduce you two."

"No, Professor, no introduction is needed. Now, please, do not allow us to take up anymore of your time," Malfoy said as he led Snape to the door and towards the stairs. "I can take it from here. Don't worry. She will be a Potions master when we're through."

Malfoy was actually was being nice and respectful for once. Ginny was in awe.

"Thank you, Draco. I knew I could trust you."

Snape looked appreciatively at Malfoy, and then glared back at Ginny as he continued, "But I hope I can trust you, Ms. Weasley, to do whatever Mr. Malfoy asks of you."

"Yes, Professor," Ginny responded quietly

With that, Snape gave a curt nod to Malfoy and left.

Malfoy spun around, the polite, respectful smile leaving his face. He walked towards Ginny with an even more revolting smirk.

"Alright, let's get to work," he said, grabbing her hand, pulling her into the Potions classroom and towards a cauldron.

Ginny tried to grab her hand from Malfoy's but he held it tight.

"Now, Ginny, I'll help you if you tell me one thing..."

"What's that, Malfoy?" she spat as she finally was able to yank her hand from Malfoy's iron grip.

"Why aren't you wearing that flattering outfit you had on before?" he asked, raising one eyebrow, looking her up and down.

Ginny stared. "You mean my pajamas?"

Just like Malfoy to bring up the time when I was wearing an embarrassingly little amount of clothing, she thought

Malfoy nodded, still smirking, obviously, Ginny thought, undressing her with his eyes.

Note to self; skimpy negligees are a no-no when going to the astronomy tower. You never know what crusty creeper you will meet.

"Because, Malfoy, I would never willingly let you see me dressed like that. I don't like to show off my body to slimy gits like you, especially not to a slimy git who's also a Death Eater. You would need to earn that privilege. And you're scum. Now, just tell me how to make this potion. It's all your good for." Ginny glared at him.

She would not allow him to sweet-talk her again.

Or, try to sweet talk her. Actually she had no idea what he was about. But she began to feel badly as Malfoy's smirk slowly fell from his face. He looked as if he was about to speak but he couldn't get the words out. He then stormed towards Ginny and pinned her against a wall; their faces inches apart.

"Alright, blood traitor, I don't allow anyone to insult me like that, particularly not a poverty stricken weasel. I'm going to pretend you didn't say that, so if you want to leave this dungeon with all your limbs still attached won't say anything to me for the rest of the lesson."

Malfoy's face was as calm as she'd ever seen it, and he hadn't raised his voice like he had to Harry in the past. He had only leaned in and whispered. He seemed extremely upset. She wasn't sure what she had said to make his attitude change so dramatically. As he walked to the cabinet to get supplies, Ginny sat down on the stool and watched him curiously.

"Now, Weasel. If you don't do well, Snape'll look at it as my failure. So I'll make this potion for you, and you just watch and maybe next week I'll let you touch something." Malfoy's face was still calm, and his voice still held anger, but he did not seem cross with her.

Ginny had seen enough fights between him and Harry. If he had really wanted to yell at her, he could have. Ginny could only figure that he was angry with someone other than her, and that she had triggered that anger inside of him. She had never seen this side of him. He had feelings. She was amazed.

She watched him work in silence for a few minutes before her guilt ate away at her.

"Malfoy, I'm sorry I said that, I..." she started.

"Weasley, shut up and let me focus on this potion. I knew you were poor, but I didn't know you were so stupid," Malfoy spat as he looked her up and down. "You're lucky I even agreed to do this."

All of Ginny's sentiments for Malfoy disappeared instantly. He was once again the git she thought he was. But despite the obviousness of Malfoy's apparent hatred for her, something else revealed itself from his speech. It made Ginny think. Why had he decided to tutor her?

"Malfoy, I don't believe you agreed to this to be a do good-er. What's your motive?"

Malfoy turned all the way around to look at her but before he could speak, someone came bursting in the doorway.

"Draco! I've been looking all over for you!"

Pansy Parkinson ran towards Malfoy, who was still looking at Ginny, eyes boring into hers. Pansy looped her arms around his neck, forcing him to look at her.

"Well, Pansy, here I am. I've agreed to give the Weaselette Potions lessons. She's failing," Malfoy responded with a smirk, speaking as if Ginny wasn't in the room.

"How pathetic! And how nice of you, Draco, to help the..." Pansy looked over at Ginny's frayed seams on her robes, "...less fortunate."

They both laughed. Ginny grew furious, and as she was about to snap back a reply, she looked up at Malfoy. Their eyes met for an instant. Malfoy's eyes narrowed and almost immediately he turned towards Pansy and kissed her. But it was no friendly peck.

Ginny looked on as Malfoy picked Pansy up and set her on the edge of a desk. His hands were moving up her back and into her hair and then on her legs, up her thighs. She was moaning with delight as the kiss was deepened as Malfoy spread her legs and moved even closer to her. His mouth moved down to her neck and it was then that Pansy opened her eyes and saw Ginny staring at the pair of them.

"Draco...we have an audience," Pansy playfully whispered as she nibbled on his ear.

"Oh, thank you Pansy, I almost forgot," Malfoy drawled looking over at where Ginny still sat.

"I think you're done here, Weaslette," Pansy laughed as she wrapped her legs around Draco, pulling him in towards her.

He looked at Ginny, his eyes still furious. "Yes. You're done here. I'll finish the potion later and hand it in to Snape," Malfoy said flatly as his hand moved up further on Pansy's thigh.

"Sure, Malfoy," Ginny replied quickly, grabbing her books and moving towards the dungeon stairs as quickly as she could. She was glad to leave; she couldn't be in there any longer. She stumbled out the door and slammed it behind her.

As she moved up the stairs, she heard Pansy giggling and calling out Malfoy's name.

Ginny stopped and leaned against the wall. Her mind was racing. All she could think about was Malfoy's hands. His hands moving up and down her body. His hands moving through her hair, down her back, up her thigh....

"Stop it Ginny," she whispered to herself, hitting the back of her head against the stone wall. She closed her eyes and tried to relax, but again she could only think of Malfoy's lips on hers. Malfoy's deep intense kiss lingering on her mouth.

She started to walk back to the common room.

She had seen a part of Draco she had never seen before. She was amazed. She was amazed at how passionately Draco could kiss. How passionately he had been holding Pansy. But also, she had seen a more human part of Draco. He had feelings. Sure he hid them, but he was easily upset when a certain thing was mentioned. She wasn't sure what the trigger was, but she wanted to find out. She thought for a while about Draco. Her thoughts ranged from guesses about the origin of his new discovered sentiments, to near fantasies of Draco kissing her like he kissed Pansy. Although, she never let the latter last long, her mind still echoed Draco's name.

Malfoy. Malfoy's name Not Draco..

She had been sitting on the couch, not even realising that she made it to the common room, and was trying to get Malfoy out of her head when she realised that the sun was setting outside the window. As she watched the sun fall behind the trees, Harry walked through the portrait hole and sat down with Ginny on the couch.

"So, tell me all about your lesson. How was Malfoy? Horrible?"

"Oh, yes...completely vile" Ginny said trying to focus on Harry's words, even though her mind was elsewhere.

"Gin. I'm sorry," Harry sighed sympathetically as he put a compassionate arm around her.

"So what happened?"

"Oh, you know Harry, the usual. I'm known as the Weaselette, and I'm poor and unworthy. Oh, I'm also a blood traitor, according to him," Ginny finished raising her eyebrows in frustration.

"Gin. I can't believe you have to sit through that...with Malfoy... alone for so long."

...would that be so horrible? YES!! YES IT WOULD! SHUT UP!

She shook her head. Then realized Harry was still waiting for an answer.

This can't be happening. I can't believe I'm thinking of that git when the love of my life is sitting right here! Okay. Brave face. Dr-Malfoy? Sexy? Psh! Yeah right! Maybe in Pansy's world...

"Harry, no we weren't alone today. Pansy Parkinson showed up. She took her turn to mock me and called me 'less fortunate' and then the two of them took part in a disgusting form of PDA," Ginny grimaced and laughed, snuggling deeper into Harry's embrace.

"Well, that should have been entertaining. I bet that git really has some sleazy moves."

"He does. He really does," Ginny sighed looking up at Harry. "Now, I don't feel like talking about him anymore."

Harry smiled at her as he moved closer to her. Ginny sat up and moved her hands to Harry's face. It was really going to happen now. No one was in the common room to interrupt this time.

Ginny cocked her head to the right as she leaned in close enough to feel Harry's breath. But as she waited for Harry to make the final move, Ron bounded through the portrait hole loudly complaining to Hermione about a bad mark he had received on a Transfiguration paper.

"Hermione, do you really think I should have gotten a bad grade just because it was a foot shorter than it was supposed to be?"

"Yes, Ron, I do."

"Of course you do, Hermione. You idolize Professor McGonagall..." Ron retorted as he finally looked over to the couch to Harry and Ginny who, by then, had separated and were trying their best to look innocent.

There was an awkward silence as, no doubt, Ron was about to come to the conclusion of what Harry and Ginny had been doing in the empty common room. But before Ron could get that far, Hermione broke the silence and plopped down on the couch between Harry and Ginny. "So, where have you two been?"

"Oh, Ginny had her first private Potions lesson with Malfoy. She was just telling me how annoying he was," Harry quickly replied, smiling angelically.

"I can't believe I forgot that was today, Ginny. I'm sorry. I would have at least wished you luck."

"Hermione, it's alright. I can deal with him. I won't let someone like Malfoy get the better of me."

Ron, who had sat down in a large chair across from the couch, looked up in surprise.

"He's evil. I think I should come to these lessons with you. I don't know if I can deal with you being a lone with him twice a week"

"No Ron, it's really alright. Don't worry about me. Now I'm sick of talking about Malfoy," she really was, "and I'm hungry. Shall we go get some dinner?"

As Ginny got up from the couch, Harry hurried after her like a loyal puppy, resting his arm around her waist. Ron saw the development and began to protest until Hermione stopped his words with a quick kiss.

*~*

"Ginevra. Don't try to fool yourself any longer. I know that you know it's true. Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise."

The snake man took her arm and pulled her towards a crypt. She knew what ever lay beyond those doors was evil. She knew she shouldn't walk any further. She tried to stop moving, to resist this snake man's movement, but she couldn't.

She pulled on his arm and dug her heels in the ground. For a split second, the snake man lost his grip. She took this opportunity to run as fast as she could in the other direction. She hadn't gotten twenty feet before a stream of light flashed her way. Before she could do anything to get away from it, the most intense pain she had ever felt in her life struck her back and moved through her veins to all of her limbs. She fell to the ground, her whole body throbbing, and just as she thought she would pass out from the pain, Ginny bolted upright in her bed.

She gasped for breath as she looked around the room in semi-darkness. She could see the sun slowly rising through her window; she guessed it was about six o'clock in the morning. Even though it was Saturday, she figured she would get out of bed, knowing she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep.

Ginny slipped into a comfortable track suit before she went down to breakfast. Even though she had her date with Harry later on in the day, for now, she would settle for looking less than her best, especially when only the professors would be eating this early.

To Ginny's surprise, when she went through to the common room, Ali was sitting on a plush chair reading and already dressed. Ginny smiled at her friend as she went over to greet her.

"Why are you up so early? I thought for sure I'd be the only one."

"Well, I figured you would be up early," Ali snickered, looking up from her book, "you have your date with Harry today and I knew you'd be nervous."

"I didn't wake up because I was nervous exactly ..." Ginny started.

"Ginny, you don't need to lie to me. I know how long you've been waiting for this. I know that you're practically freaking out, even if you're not showing it. So we'll go eat breakfast and then we'll come back here and get you ready!"

The two girls walked together, quietly chattering about Ginny's approaching date with Harry. As they spoke about it, Ginny really did begin to get nervous. She and Harry had gotten so close to kissing in the past week, but Ron's interruptions kept stopping them. During their date, they would be alone the entire time. She knew it would happen tonight. She was beginning to second guess her experience.

What if Harry thinks I'm a bad kisser? she thought to herself as Ali chattered away about what Ginny should wear.

Minutes later, the two girls entered the Great Hall for breakfast. They sat down at the near empty Gryffindor table, only occupied with eager first years who didn't know when to take the chance to sleep in. As Ginny scooped some scrambled eggs on her plate, her eyes curiously scanned the Hall.

At once her eyes led her towards a bright blonde head.

Draco Malfoy sat at the Slytherin table by himself, looking distraught. He looked as if he hadn't slept a wink the night before and as if something was bothering him. His chin was resting in his hands; his eyebrows were furrowed, and he seemed to be staring at his pumpkin juice.

"What d'you think is the mater with him?" Ginny asked Ali.

"Was your guys' lesson that bad yesterday? You must've worn him out from all your bickering."

"It wasn't terrible. I mean, we fought. But I'm a Weasley and he's a Malfoy, we have to fight. He couldn't have taken it personally, could he?"

Ali shrugged. "You never know, Ginny. Maybe a Malfoy can have feelings..." Ali half smiled and went back to her breakfast.

Ginny turned to look at Malfoy once more. He really did look different from before their lesson yesterday. Had what she said really affected him that much? She wasn't sure, but she was sure she'd never be able to understand Draco Malfoy.

*~*

Blaise was sitting in the Common Room, casually laughing at something trivial that some fifth year had just said. Draco envied how Blaise could be so nonchalant and how he hadn't a care in the world. Draco envied his ease and his confidence that everything would be alright. But above everything else, Draco envied his distance from the war and the Dark Lord.

"Blaise, come with me. I need to talk to you." Draco looked at his friend intensely.

Blaise recognized this urgency in Draco's face and nodded as he got up and followed his friend into a vacant corner of the common room.

"Alright, mate, what's this about? Why weren't you at breakfast this morning?"

"Oh, I went to breakfast really early. I couldn't sleep at all last night." Draco shook his head, unable to come up with words to describe his feelings. "I'm just...I need some help. I feel like I've let everyone down."

"Mate, tell me what happened. Does it have to do with this whole mess you've gotten yourself into with helping the Dark Lord and all...and the Weasley girl?" Blaise looked concerned.

"Yes, actually, it does. Yesterday's lesson went poorly."

"Yeah, you mentioned that."

"Well, after I got back, my father's owl was waiting in my room. The letter said that when I was finished with my lesson with Weasley I should contact him immediately through Floo. So, obviously, I did even though I was completely apprehensive to let him know that we fought the entire time. But what should I have done? She called me a slimy Death Eater, I mean..." Draco looked flustered as Blaise interrupted him.

"Well, not to sound like I'm on her side, because I'm not, but the part about you being a Death Eater isn't exactly false. Although, the slimy part can be...debated," Blaise said as he smiled, trying to reassure his friend.

Draco closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his forefingers. "I know it's not exactly false...but it's the principle of the thing. She hasn't right to assume that about me. Anyway, after I told father about the fight, he got angry, as you can imagine. He said that I was a...a failure. That if I didn't fix this, and fast, I'd be..."

Draco opened his eyes showing more vulnerability than he ever had.

"He said he'd disown me and he'd let the Dark Lord know that I failed. And that would only lead to..."

"Draco, don't say it. The Dark Lord won't come after you because he won't have a reason to come after you. We can figure this out. We'll find a way for you to get Ginny Weasley. It might be hard for you to charm her, now, even I'm not that much of an optimist, but we'll figure it out." Blaise was still trying to smile.

"You're sure about that?" Draco asked as he took a cigarette out of his breast pocket and lit it with his wand with a tap.

"I am, mate. We'll do this together. We'll find a way for you to get Ginny."

With that, Draco nodded, puffed his cigarette and quickly left the room. If Blaise knew his best friend the way he thought he did, he knew Draco would be going straight to the Astronomy Tower to think. Blaise needed time to think as well. He had never thought of himself as a potential Death Eater, and he never would. He had to find a way to help Draco without endangering Ginny Weasley.

*~*

"No. With your hair and your eyes, the green dress looks better."

"Ali, are you sure? I feel like it is a little...revealing."

"Ginny. That's the point."

Ali threw the emerald green dress at Ginny in frustration. The two girls had been bickering all afternoon about which outfit Ginny should wear on her date that night. Ginny wanted to go with a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt, but Ali insisted that the knee length halter dress would do her figure wonders, not to mention her skin, eyes and hair.

Finally Ginny gave in to Ali's demands and she slipped it on. To her surprise, but not Ali's, the tight waist and deep V-neck of the dress made her look stunning. She looked up at Ali, not wanting to hear -

"I told you so," Ali snickered.

Ginny rolled her eyes, and then smiled, knowing Ali had been right.

"Now, what to do with my hair?"

An hour later, Ginny and Ali walked down the girl's dormitory stairwell into the common room. Ginny should have met Harry there ten minutes earlier, but Ali had changed her mind five times about how Ginny should do her hair. In the end, it turned out perfectly; it was up in curls with soft tendrils around her face. Ginny only hoped that with her up-do, gold stilettos and nice dress that she wouldn't be too fancy for the occasion, so when she fully descended the stairs and saw Harry standing near the portrait hole wearing a tie and suit jacket, she was relieved.

Albeit, the tie was crooked, and the jacket was wrinkled, but he had tried his hardest and Ginny wholly appreciated it.

Harry smiled at Ginny, uninhibited, not caring that Ron was sitting across the room. Ginny glanced back at Ali, who gave enthusiastic thumbs up and mouthed a "good luck" before she took Harry's extended arm and exited through the portrait hole.

*~*

"Harry. That dinner was really great. No, I mean it. It was one of the best meals I've had in a while. It's nice to get away from the monotony of Hogwarts food every once in a while," Ginny said, happily, as Harry opened the door for her as they exited the restaurant.

"I'm really glad you had a good time," Harry responded with a small, awkward smile.

"I did. Oh, Harry, look at those stars. I haven't seen them this bright in so long!"

Both Ginny and Harry looked up to the night sky. They had spent so long at dinner talking about everything from Quidditch to life after Hogwarts to Fred and George's newest inventions. There hadn't been a lull in the conversation long enough to notice the sun set.

"They really are beautiful..." Harry trailed off as his focus shifted from the sky to Ginny.

She felt his eyes on her face and she turned to him. They stopped walking and Harry smiled.

"You know which star is my favourite?" he asked her.

"No. Show me."

Harry's smile grew wider as he stepped behind Ginny. He pressed his chest against her back and pulled her arm up with his as he pointed to the sky.

"This star. It's so beautiful. It reminds me of you."

Ginny turned around so that they were facing each other; their faces were still close.

Harry opened and closed his mouth as if he was trying to say something but couldn't find the words. Harry looked back at Ginny. He opened his mouth again as he was about to suggest they walk back, but as he opened his mouth Ginny couldn't stop herself anymore.

She closed the space between her and Harry and pressed her mouth against his slightly open one. Suddenly, Ginny's stomach was doing all sorts of gymnastics as she deepened the kiss. She was ecstatic. She was making out with Harry! But after the initial thrill wore off, she began to notice how poorly their kiss was going.

She knew Harry had only dated Cho before her, but she assumed they had had their fair share of snogging sessions. One would think that he would've learned something.

However, Harry had no idea how to kiss. He moved too quickly, his mouth and tongue did not work together, and he was gripping her too tightly. She felt like she was trying to kiss an overly salivated python snake. She continued the kiss, hoping Harry's poor performance was from nerves. But after a few minutes of no progression she couldn't take it anymore. She pictured them in her mind's eye and she could see herself grimacing as Harry licked her face confidently. Sloppy kisses are not a thing to experience and Ginny delicately pulled back, hoping Harry wouldn't notice her as she wiped her face of slobber.

Pray he doesn't realize.... Ewwww my face feels disgusting!

"We should probably get back now," Ginny said softly. She could not take kissing him anymore, no matter how much it pained her to think, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings, either.

Harry must have been none the wiser, for he merely smiled and nodded as he grabbed her hand and began to walk off.

Cocky prat, she thought. Then she started. She couldn't believe she just thought that about Harry.

Ginny could not believe her change in feelings towards him in the last ten minutes. She would have once loved to hold hands with Harry on the long walk back to Hogwarts, but now she could barely stand it.

I wish we had never kissed.

*~*

When they got back to the common room, everyone was already asleep. Ginny tried to quickly move off to her room, blaming her quietness on the walk back on drowsiness. Before Ginny could get away, Harry kissed her once more. Ginny broke it off quickly reminding him of her sleepiness.

Ginny ran into her room and flopped down on her bed. She couldn't believe what had happened. She was frustrated with herself and utterly confused. She still liked Harry immensely, she always had. But after that awful kiss... she didn't know if she could date him. Beyond her confusion about Harry, she now felt incredibly shallow.

The always level-headed Ginny decided to sleep on it, and maybe in the morning she would be able to rethink the whole situation, realize that she still indeed loved him, and go first thing in the morning and snog the life out of him. And if it's bad, she could always teach him to be better.

Ginny curled up on the bed and closed her eyes, allowing her mind to wander furiously.

She didn't remember falling asleep, but the next thing Ginny knew, she was in a dark, damp room. It looked like a dungeon. She was sitting on the edge Snape's desk waiting, for something. She didn't know what she was waiting for until Malfoy walked in the room.

He moved closer to her but she did not feel disgust as she would've in real life. Oh no. She felt desire.

Malfoy moved up to her and spread her legs apart. He situated himself between them as he started nipping at her neck and ears. Ginny moaned, not remembering a time when she had felt this kind of pleasure. Malfoy's lips then moved to hers. They began kissing intensely. Then his lips were on her collarbone and her shoulder, then up her neck back on her lips.

He moved wildly, unbuttoning her shirt quickly and passionately, and surprisingly, she let him. His hands were everywhere. He moved one of his hands down to the zipper on her skirt and he pulled it down slightly, just enough so that he could put his hand down through to her panties. His fingers writhed in a motion that made Ginny break away from the kiss with a gasp.

As she panted, she looked into his eyes and he looked back at hers. She felt gratification and she did not want to stop. She wanted him, everywhere and in everyway. Just as she was about to pull up on his shirt, she woke up.

She bolted up in her bed in a cold sweat; the fact that she was still in her dress and heels confused her, but not nearly as much as her dream had.

"I really need to stop eating right before I go to sleep..."