So It Goes

Chapter 2: Degrees of a Smile

Ginny opened her eyes to the dark solitude of her private rooms. It was the first night back at Hogwarts and her hopes, that the change of scenery would deter the nightmares from coming back, were gone.

This nightmare had been particularly bad. It had felt even more real then the previous ones from the last weeks of summer. Maybe Mum is right. Maybe Hogwarts isn't safe anymore. Ginny thought to herself as she walked to her bathroom for a glass of water. She couldn't tell if her shivers were from the nightmare or from the cold stone floor.

"Get a hold of yourself. What a woman you are, pestered by a bad dream." She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked older and grown up, but if these nightmares would give her such a scare, she was nothing more than a child.

Frustrated with the reoccurrence of the nightmares and of her own fear of them, she wasn't even tired as she settled back into her bed.

Her room was round, near the tope of the Gryffindor Tower. Her canopied bed was large and rich with dark woods and fabrics, but she rarely ever pulled the fabrics shut around her bed. She was, as she only admitted to herself, afraid of the dark. She kept many candles around the room so that she could lighten her room at any time of night. One of her larger candles was still lit on her desk across the room.

Outside the window the sun was slowly beginning to rise above the horizon and Ginny figured that everyone would be waking up in a couple hours for the first day of classes. At the thought of classes Ginny sighed and banged her head against the headboard. Classes. Ugh, Potions. I'll never survive this year.

She sat up in her bed and lit a smaller red candle by her bed. This was one of the nights that she was so glad that she had her own room, if she had been in the dormitory with the other girls she would have been out of luck, with nothing to do to get her mind clear but wait for morning.

She opened her Potions book, the only thing that would be boring enough to put her back to sleep, and she tried to read through the first concoction of the year that she would be brewing, or trying to, later that day. Half way through the ingredients, she had already lost focus and she found her mind wandering.

She found herself thinking about Harry and that perfect minute when he had let her rest her head on his shoulder. Next her mind wandered to her mother's warnings and then her mind led her back to potions and then back to her nightmare.

Ginny realised that her least favourite and worst subject in school would not be the thing to put her back to a peaceful sleep and with a restless sleep as her only other option, Ginny chose to leave her room and take a walk. Walking in the morning had always been her release. With the number of people living in the Burrow and with the small amount of space, Ginny always needed at least one early morning walk a week to just get away. Since she had started at Hogwarts, things had not been different.

Another reason that Ginny loved the room to herself was that she could easily get away in the mornings to walk around the grounds or else walk up to her favourite spot in the castle, as she would be this morning.

She slipped on a pair of shoes and headed to the top of the Astronomy Tower, wearing only her short boxers and tank top for sleeping. Although she would have dressed more appropriately, had she predicted who she would be meeting there in mere minutes.

*~*

Draco read over the letter from his aunt again and again, making sure he wasn't imagining it. No, he was not. He had an impossible task before him and he had no choice but to accept the challenge and do it. Not only did he know he had to do it, but he had to do it well and in a timely fashion. The Dark Lord was not known for his patience and clemency. If Draco didn't do this to his liking or if it took too long, it would be seen as a failure. Failure was not an option.

Draco looked down at his pack of Parliament cigarettes lying on the ground. It was empty. In his anxiety the night before, he had smoked all of them but in his frustration this morning he was angry that he had none left to tie him over for the day.

Although he was upset, he did understand the need for a full pack his first night back at Hogwarts. At Malfoy Manor smoking is strictly prohibited. Lucius always viewed it as a weakness in a man, and weakness is not something that is looked upon well in the Malfoy house. Draco even admitted to himself that the main reason he still smoked was only to irk his father.

Even though Draco's brain was telling him to go down to his dorm and get another pack, Draco knew what would be waiting for him. He would be met with an unconscious Pansy outside the door. Pansy, who no doubt would have waited all night for Draco to return, would have fallen asleep there. Draco, who did not want to deal with the likes of Pansy this early in the morning, settled for watching the sun's slow rising to settle his nerves.

For the time being, Draco knew he must keep cool and think of the task at hand, even though it was the last thing on which he wanted to think.

Draco read the letter one last time, gliding his finger along each line, making sure he didn't miss anything. After his last thorough reading he slid down the wall of the Astronomy Tower, pulling his legs to him in a fetal-like position. He closed his eyes allowing the perfect first meeting of him and Ginny to materialise in his mind. He would be charming, apologetic of his past behaviour, and most importantly he would not allow his elitist attitude show. He would not mention her lack of fortune or connections.

He smirked as he thought of his use of his wit and humor wooing the Weasley girl into trusting him. He pictured her begging him to sleep with her and his smirk widened.

He relaxed a bit, letting his pride get the better of him. I don't know why I keep worrying about this. I can charm any girl. Any girl. Even as he thought this to himself he knew deep down that it would turn out to be more difficult than he was leading himself to believe. But, for the time being, he allowed himself to bask in his self inflicted relaxation. He slid further down the wall so that he was almost lying on the cold stone floor of the Tower. He was, finally, almost asleep when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs through the doorway. He snapped up and stood behind the door so that he would be able to see who was coming before he or she saw him. Draco didn't respond well to surprises; he always liked to have the upper hand. He squinted through the small crack between the door and the frame and a flash of red caught his eye.

*~*

Ginny ran up the stairs of the Astronomy Tower, opening the door enthusiastically, excited to be back to her favourite place after two very long months. She stepped outside as she looked around.

The sun had peeked over the horizon and a beautiful British sunrise was beginning to commence. She took a few deep breaths and walked to the ledge. She ran her hands over the cold stone making her shiver and causing goose bumps to pop up all over her body. She closed her eyes and bent her head back allowing the slight breeze to pass through her hair. It was one of the most refreshing feelings in the world.

She opened her eyes and in the spur of the moment, she jumped up on the ledge, looking out over the grounds that she loved so much. She stood tall, bringing her arms out as if she were a bird. She imagined that she was flying, that she could fly away. She sat down on the ledge, dangling her feet out over the edge, looking down at the impossibly far drop.

She closed her eyes once more allowing the breeze to be the only thing that she could feel. At another point in her life she would have been afraid to sit there alone, but she wasn't frightened anymore. Too many dangers were present and all too real for her to allow herself to be frightened. As she was sighing contently, she was interrupted by a sly voice coming from behind her.

"I wouldn't try jumping, if I were you. It's a long way down," drawled none other than Draco Malfoy, the greatest prat in the world.

"Since when do you care about my safety, Malfoy?" Ginny retorted as she hopped down from the ledge and gathered her arms around her.

Malfoy had never seen her in anything but her school robes, let alone merely a thin white tank top and shorts. She felt vulnerable and under prepared as Draco was, of course, dressed in smart and no doubt expensive clothing, something she was sure that he would comment on.

"Oh, Weasley, don't be so harsh. Have I ever wished death upon you?" He smirked as he moved closer to her and looked her up and down.

"Go ahead, Malfoy, say something about my family and how we're too poor to afford proper clothing."

Draco put his best shocked face on.

"Now, why would I ever say something like that? I think you look quite smashing. It's better than your robes." His smirk widened. "I'd keep it up. Maybe then Potter'll notice you."

"Bu--" Ginny tried to squeak out a witty retort, coming all too short.

"Have a nice day, Weaselette. I'll be seeing you later," Draco said with a glint in his eye. One that made Ginny believe he was being serious.

Ginny couldn't help but notice that he was looking at her in a way he'd never looked at her before. She also couldn't help but notice how smoldering he looked. Was he trying to seduce her? If she didn't know any better, she would have thought he was. He swept past her before he went to the door leading down from the Tower.

After he was long gone, Ginny finally realised that she was still staring at the spot Draco Malfoy had been standing moments ago. No, he wasn't just standing there. He was standing there not being a complete arse. He was being civil. Well, as civil as a Malfoy can be, I suppose. She thought to herself as she finally unglued herself from the spot she had been standing and began to walk down the stairs. It was nearly time for breakfast; people would we waking up soon. Ron would be looking for her to walk to the Great Hall.

He had taken up that ritual the year before, no doubt under Molly's orders to keep an eye on her youngest, and only, daughter. Ginny only knew too well that this year it would get worse, and she didn't want to have Ron in a bad mood, looking all over the castle for her, on their first day back.

When she returned to her dormitory, she got dressed in her school robes. Whoa. Sixth year. I can't believe I'll only be here for two more years.

As she walked down the stairs, she pulled her hair into a sloppy ponytail, with not enough energy to try to make her hair look nice.

She was tired. With her nightmare rattled sleep from the night before, and her alarming meeting with Malfoy that morning, she felt like she deserved to go back to sleep. But no, her first day of her Sixth year was calling.

As she looked for her brother and Hermione, with whom she knew he'd be, and Harry she realised that not many of her classmates were up and ready, with only a small crowd of nervous first years congregated around one of the larger tables. She settled herself in a plush chair, waiting for her escorts' arrival.

Once she sat down and stopped worrying that Ron was looking for her, she closed her eyes and began thinking about her odd encounter with Malfoy. He had never been that...nice. If nice was even the word to use. Well, he had never been that un-vile.

And what had he meant by 'I'll be seeing you later?' She wondered to herself. Did he plan on finding her later? Or maybe he had said it to make her nervous, make her look over her shoulder and wait for him. Was he messing with her head? Did he know that she would over think this? He must have known. But, if that was his intent, to make her think about it all day and wonder what his meaning was, then he had succeeded. Or, maybe, could he have actually been genuine?

As that unlikely thought passed through her head, her three escorts appeared. Ron with his armed draped over Hermione's shoulders, leaving Harry to trail behind; the three in a triangular formation. Ginny looked passed her brother's giddy face to see Harry looking quite awkward and uncomfortable. Ginny caught his eye and smiled, he returned the smile, moving past his two best friends to Ginny's side.

"Let's go eat," Harry said decidedly, leaving Ron and Hermione behind him.

"Ginny, you alright?"

"I'm fine, Harry." Ginny blinked numerous times and mustered a small smile, trying to look like she was not about to fall asleep.

Harry didn't fall for it.

"It looks like you didn't sleep at all last night."

Harry stepped out of the portrait hole, holding out his hand to help her do the same. Ginny grabbed it as she almost tripped over the threshold.

"In other words I look horrible, thanks, Harry..."

Ginny looked down at their clasped hands, and Harry, obviously losing his confidence, blushed and snapped his hand back quickly.

"No. You....you look great," he said, unsure of himself. "I'm just saying you look tired."

"Well, I'm just that. It's just hard to sleep in a new bed. I need to get used to it." This time, Ginny put on a real smile, glad to have Harry's undivided attention.

*~*

Oh, shite. He had been right. Draco was on his way back to his dorm when he saw Pansy sleeping in front of his door. Not wanting to wake her, for purely self-less reasons, he stepped over her body and opened his door ever so gently. Thankfully, she didn't wake as he closed his door and began dressing for his first day of his seventh year at Hogwarts.

Oh, how odious, I've been here for six full years. He thought to himself as he straightened his green and sliver tie and polished his Head Boy badge. He straightened his robes and looked in the mirror admiring how good he did look in his school robes. The only good thing about this school.

Momentarily forgetting that Pansy's unconscious body was lying right outside the door, Draco closed his door without the tenderness that he had had while entering. Before he could even run away without being noticed, Pansy awoke.

"Draco... oh, when did you get back?" Pansy asked rubbing her eyes, obviously still half asleep.

"Pansy, I got back late last night. I woke you up and since it was too late to go back to your own room, I let you sleep in here. I was just carrying you outside when I realised that my shoe was untied, so I set you down here while I tied it," Draco replied so quickly that no one would have believed that it was a lie.

"Oh. What time is it?"

"It's time for you to go get dressed. Everyone's on their way to breakfast."

He helped her up and lead her down the hall to her rooms.

Draco had known Pansy long enough to know that lying and pretending that he didn't despise her would be a more effective way to get her out of his hair than if he was truthful with her. It was too early to hear Pansy's shrieking yell. One day I will tell her how I feel. Just not today... Draco thought to himself as he left the Slytherin Common Room.

Draco knew that this year he needed to focus on not letting his aunt, father and the Dark Lord down. He couldn't be sidetracked by a distraction like Pansy's obnoxiousness. This year would be the time that he would prove himself to his father. His father had never said he was proud of him, he had never even come close to the topic of love.

Oh, no, love was another weakness.

So, if Draco couldn't earn his father's love, at least he could try to earn his father's respect as an equal.

And he would. He would do it even if it meant helping a cause that he didn't even know if he believed in. Even if it meant leading a classmate to her death for the Dark Lord's agenda. An agenda that he didn't even know if he believed in.

"This'll be a long year," Draco sighed as he composed himself and entered that Great Hall.

*~*

"Ginny, is something wrong?" Hermione, sitting across from Ginny in the Great Hall, asked Ginny who, at the moment, was looking at Draco thinking about that morning's occurrences.

"Oh...Hermione..."

"Are you staring at...Malfoy?" Hermione questioned as she turned around on the bench following Ginny's apparent line of sight.

"Haha, Hermione. Me? Staring at Malfoy? Why would anyone look at him? No. I think I was just sleeping with my eyes open. Ha, I didn't get a great night of sleep last night."

"Ginny, why didn't you have a good night of sleep? Ginny. Are you having nightmares again? You're looking quite strained, just like you did years ago when you were having those nightmares." Hermione sounded concerned, as usual.

Ginny appreciated it, but she wasn't ready to tell anyone about the dreams, let alone Hermione. The two had never been very close, and now that Hermione was dating her brother, Ginny felt that Hermione would tell Ron anything she said

"I won't tell Ron anything you say, you know, Ginny," Hermione said. "I want you to know that you can trust me, I wa--"

"I know, Hermione. It's just I have to get used to this place again. I mean, everyone always sleeps best in their own bed. I always lose sleep my first night back. Don't worry."

"Alright. Just promise you'll tell me if something out of the ordinary happens."

"Sure Hermione. If something happens, I'll tell you." Ginny was already lying.

Malfoy complimenting her was definitely out of the ordinary, but there was no way Ginny would tell Hermione that.

"No, Ginny. Promise." Hermione got quieter, noticing Ron's confused looks at their whispering.

"I promise," Ginny uttered under her breath.

"What are you girls gossiping about? It's only our first day back," Harry interjected with an authentic smile as he sat down next to Ginny, coming from talking to Hagrid.

"Ha, Harry, you know girls always have things to gossip about."

"Of course," Harry replied, digging into eggs and a biscuit. "Don't forget, Gin. You said you'd practice Quidditch with me. How about this Saturday?"

"Definitely. Can't wait." Ginny couldn't stop smiling, looking into Harry's face.

"Wait, what are you two doing on Saturday?" Ron eagerly asked.

"Nothing, Ron," Hermione answered, looking at Ginny's and Harry's matching smiles. "Leave them alone."

"Well, I'm her older brother I hav--" Hermione stopped his protests with a quick kiss.

Ron, momentarily satisfied, went back to eating his breakfast as Ginny sat on the other side of Hermione still feeling giddy, allowing that morning, it's nightmares and Draco, to slip from her memory.