The Angels Never Sang

I've always been told that you could hear angels singing when you've found "the one." I don't know why I actually believed it were true; it just seemed so mythical, and it always felt nice to believe that when the moment came, I would feel the heavens opening and be showered with the lovely sound that only angels could provide. Then I would know, without a doubt, that I had found the perfect man.

The angels never sang the first time I kissed Draco. They were saying something, but they definitely weren't singing. I think it was more of a pleading for me to come to my senses before I was hurt. They weren't wrong, but even then I believed there was something more between us than physical attraction. I got the feeling from time to time that he was listening for the angels, but then again, he probably doesn't believe in such things. I think I might have heard the angels crying the day of our graduation, but to this day I still don't know what it meant.

I sometimes feel guilty that I didn't hear the angels sing when I was with Harry. Maybe it's because I knew that he was hearing them; I could tell by the way he looked at me. I'll always love Harry; he was there for me when I needed him the most, and he never asked for more than I was willing to give. We don't see each other often, mostly because I know how much it hurts him, and I can't stand to see him in pain. I'm afraid I might have broken him, but he deserves to hear angels sing more than anyone I know.

The angels never sang when I saw Tomas. In fact, the heavens never made a sound. The worst part is that I heard more from up above when I took a bite of one of his wonderful meals than I did when we were alone together. I often ask myself why I agreed to marry him, and every time I come to the conclusion that I was losing hope of ever hearing angels sing. I know now that the decision to wait until we were married before sleeping together was my way of avoiding the situation because I knew, if even subconsciously, that I would never be married to him.

The angels never sang when Draco came back into my life. Maybe they were, but only because I felt like I was going to die. I worked so hard for ten years to live my life without him, knowing that we were just too different to make a relationship work. And now for some odd reason, life has led me back to the place where it all began. I find myself wrapped up in Draco Malfoy once again, but this time is different from the last. Our lives have followed different paths, yet we have found our way back to each other. And as I lie here in his bed, I no longer listen for the angels, simply because I realize that the song is still being written.