Learning to Love

Chapter 4

Keli woke up to someone nudging her awake, and blinking away the sleep, she looked up to see Sirius crouched next to her, smiling.

Keli was slightly startled at first; yesterday she had frightened herself enough. Waking up to find herself leaning on Remus had scared her so much she had spent most of the morning crying, and hadn't stepped out of the room until about lunch time.

"Come on, get up." coaxed Sirius, striding out the bedroom.

Keli let a very small smile play on her face, and getting up, she pulled on the robes carefully so as not to rub her back. Molly Weasley had provided Remus and Sirius with some of Ginny's old clothes and robes for Keli.

The robes had felt strange to Keli at first, but after a while she got used to them and she had actually forgotten she was wearing them. After getting dressed, she secured her pendant in her pocket and ran a brush through her hair, wincing slightly as she stretched her back.

Opening the door Keli smelt something cooking in the kitchen. Making her way to the kitchen she was almost knocked to the floor as Remus came out of the door. Involuntarily, she stepped back as fear flared up in the back of her mind.

"Sorry Keli. I didn't know you were there." Remus apologized.

"T-that's okay." whispered Keli.

"Well, go and get some breakfast then." replied Remus as he carried on to wherever he was going.

Inwardly sighing, Keli moved into the kitchen. Maybe they won't hurt me. I just don't know - he always said everyone was like him and everyone would do the things he did to me, thought Keli as a shiver went down her spine.

Ever since she had let herself be comforted by Remus, her thoughts were confusing her. She had been told by Ivan that no matter who she went to they would always smack her, but Remus and Sirius had proven him wrong. In fact, they had shown nothing but affection and concern for her. The only thing that she wished she could change was her reaction to them touching her.

"Keli? Are you okay?" asked Sirius.

Sirius' voice had made her jump again. She backed away and tensed her body, waiting for a blow. She had to remind herself for the umpteenth they wouldn't hit her.

"F-fine." muttered Keli, as she climbed into a chair.

"Here you go then." said Sirius, placing a plate in front of her. "You do know that if you need anything you can ask, right?"

Looking up, Keli responded quietly, "I-I'm not allowed to." before turning back to her breakfast.

"Of course you are allowed, Keli. We're not Ivan," Keli involuntarily shuddered at his name, "and we won't hurt you." explained Sirius.

Keli swiped at the tears that threatened to spill over her eyes. They keep saying that, why can't I just trust them? Keli wondered, but she already knew the answer to that. Because of what 'he' did, But I want to trust them, I really do. The tears were running down her cheeks as she struggled with her confusion.

"Hey," Sirius assured her, "Its okay. Nothing is going to hurt you."

Sniffling, Keli answered, "I-I'm s-s-so c-c-confused."

"I know, I know," he reassured her in a soothing tone, "Just calm down, wipe your face and then we'll see about talking."

Keli took the offered tissue and dried her face, now looking a flushed red. Taking some calming, breaths Keli began to calm down, her appetite long forgotten.

"Now why did you start crying?" asked Sirius delicately.

Hesitating slightly, Keli answered, "B-b-because... he... he... hit me."

Keli's words surprised Sirius. He of course knew she had been beaten, but both he and Remus had tried to avoid bringing up the subject with Keli. But for her to actually admit it was a milestone. Sirius knew that many children took a while before they would admit that they were being beaten.

"Didn't I promise you the other day that I'd never ever hurt you?"

"Yes." answered Keli.

"I promise you that I will keep that promise. Now put a smile on your face and go grab your cloak." Sirius replied.

Keli wiped her face again, then jumped off the chair and walked back into the living room where she'd placed her cloak.

After fifteen minutes they were all ready to go. It was to be Keli's first venture into the wizarding world and into Hogwarts.

Stepping up to the hearth, Sirius grabbed some floo powder which he threw into the fire, before taking a step forward. A second later he was gone.

"Come on then, let's go." coaxed Remus, as he picked her up so she wouldn't fall out of the wrong grate.

Keli stiffened and couldn't relax as Remus also took some floo powder and followed Sirius' actions, saying, "Headmasters office, Hogwarts."

Keli felt herself spinning around for what felt like ages. After a while, she noticed they were slowing down then not moving at all, and then someone spoke up.

"Ah Remus, and I take it this is the young girl you mentioned?" asked Albus Dumbledore, Hogwarts headmaster and seen by many as the greatest wizard of the time.

"Yes." answered Remus. "Keli, you can look up now. It's okay; I assure you you're safe."

Keli looked up to see an almost ancient looking man who was clearly older than Remus and Sirius. Keli noticed that he had a long white beard that he had tucked into his belt. Looking into his eyes, she spotted that he had light blue eyes which held a twinkle in them.

Remus put Keli on the floor but the little girl clung to his arm, and looking down he saw fear flash in the girl's eyes.

"Keli, I promise you Professor Dumbledore won't hurt you." soothed Remus as he led her over to the chair.

Keli sat down cautiously. She was in a different place, a place she didn't know with a man she didn't know and that scared her.

"Maybe one of you could explain why you needed to see me?" asked Albus, wasting no time in getting to the point.

"Albus, we need to know: is Keli Portland a witch?" asked Sirius, bluntly.

"Ah, Keli Portland, Stepdaughter to Ivan Portland, biological daughter to Thomas Fitzgerald." answered Albus knowingly, as Keli cowered at Ivan's name. "Yes I do believe she is. Why, may I ask, do you need to know?"

"Keli was found unconscious in our back garden." answered Sirius.

"Oh dear, She must be returned to her family." responded Albus.

"Can't," piped up Keli, bravely, "My mum's dead."

"What about Ivan?" asked Albus.

"Albus, Keli was unconscious because she'd been hit with numerous Crucio curses," explained Sirius, "and we believe Ivan Portland was the one who cast them. This little girl can only just about stand being touched by Remus and me."

Looking between the three of them Albus replied, "Well then, there are only two things I can think of doing in this situation."

"And what are they?" enquired Remus.

"Either she goes back to the muggle world and we use a memory charm to make her forget any of this happened," explained Albus holding up his hand so they couldn't interrupt, "Or she can go back with you two and be introduced to our world two years earlier than we intended."

Keli had been sitting listening to the conversation and now was worried that they would give her away. No one wants me; no one wants to even look at me, thought Keli, still waiting to hear someone speak.

"Okay," Sirius said, making Keli jump, "We'll look after her."

Hope spread in Keli's chest. They do want me, thought Keli, letting a smile play about her face, maybe what Sirius promised will be true.

"I expect you both to be careful if you go into Diagon Alley or anywhere else you might be recognised, you both know how prejudiced people could be if they found out that you, Remus, were looking after a young child." warned Albus.

"If anyone does ask I will just say we're looking after her for the day." replied Remus, whilst Keli looked on, confused.

"Well then, I'll see you soon perhaps, have a good day" replied Albus, a tone of finality in his voice.

The three of them walked out the headmaster's office and started to make their way out of Hogwarts and into Hogsmeade.

***

Keli was beginning to grow tired and her back was also beginning to ache; the three of them had spent the afternoon in Hogsmeade.

Sirius and Remus had taken Keli into nearly every shop, and she was fascinated with everything she saw, but kept very close to Remus and Sirius.

Whilst she was looking at some chocolate frogs in Honeydukes, someone bumped into her wearing dark blue robes. Keli mistook his action as he tried to help her up as an attempt to hurt her - she had panicked and backed away, stumbling right into Remus who managed to calm her down and apologize to the man.

So now Keli was sitting next to Sirius in The Three Broomsticks eating a very small portion of fish, she couldn't remember what they had said it was called, and drinking a glass of ice-cool pumpkin juice.

Her new-found guardians were talking to each quietly so she settled for looking around her. There were only about six other people in the pub, and as Keli scanned the room she noticed that every couple or single person would take a glance at either her or Remus before returning to talking amongst themselves.

Going back to her drink she finished it off and ended up yawning again; the warm atmosphere was making her sleepy. After about her fifth yawn, which caught the attention of both Sirius and Remus, she rested her elbow on the table and placed her head on her hand. Slowly her eyelids began to feel very heavy.

"Keli, would you like to go back to our house?" asked Remus, careful not to say home.

Opening her heavy eyes Keli answered softly, "Please."

"Okay. Sirius, do you think you'll be able to apparate her back?" questioned Remus, as he watched Keli close her eyes again.

"Sure." answered Sirius, "Keli, come on, let's get back."

Keli nodded and moved off her seat. Standing up, she felt like a lead weight had been placed in her feet.

Sirius explained to Keli to hold on to him tightly. Keli did as she was told and suddenly she felt herself moving through time and space, then it stopped looking up she noticed they had arrived in the living room of the small house.

"Come on, bed." ordered Sirius, still wearing a smile.

Keli changed her clothes and got into bed five minutes later. She said 'night' to Remus (who had just apparated into the living room) and Sirius, and then fell asleep as soon as the warmth got to her, with no bad dreams to disturb her.

***

Waking up on the day of the full moon Keli felt ill; she had a headache and her back was now scabbing over, making it itchy. Her legs and arms felt stiff as a board as she got out of bed.

Over the last two days Keli's moods had changed dramatically - she was more sensitive and she also became aggressive, but though that particular side of her had only shown through once.

Sitting up Keli rubbed the crusted sleep from her eyes. When her back flared up, it took her some time before she managed to control herself enough not to reach behind her and scratch it.

Moodily, Keli got dressed quietly, as it was only early, and there was no sound coming from the other room. After she had finished getting dressed, Keli crept over to the door and pulling it open she peeked outside.

Looking over to the transfigured bed she noted that Sirius was fast asleep but Remus wasn't even in the bed. Hesitantly, Keli stepped out of the room and ambled over to the kitchen with the intention of getting herself a drink of water.

Stepping into the kitchen she stopped as she smelt something nasty coming from a smoking goblet, then saw Remus sitting at the table looking a sickly pale colour.

Looking up Remus asked, "Keli, what are you dong up at six in the morning?"

"I couldn't sleep." answered Keli quietly.

"Would you like a drink of water?" questioned Remus.

"Yes please." responded Keli as she sat down.

Keli sat in silence. As Remus made her drink she could smell what she thought was apprehension, but she wasn't sure how she knew what it was.

"Here you go." said Remus, setting the cup down.

Taking a sip Keli replied, "T-thank you Remus."

"No problem."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while. Keli's back began to rub against the shirt, feeling irritable again, and as she began to shift in her seat Remus looked up.

"Is your back hurting you?" asked Remus, concerned.

Shaking her head Keli answered, "It's itchy."

"It'll get better. Don't try to scratch it - it could cause the cuts to become infected." explained Remus.

Feeling slightly confident Keli blurted out, "Will you leave tonight?"

"No Keli, I don't leave," explained Remus carefully so she would understand, "I take a potion that lets me keep my mind and I can curl up and go to sleep a harmless wolf."

"Sorry... I shouldn't have asked." Keli apologized; horrified that she had asked such a thing.

"Don't be sorry, it's natural to be curious about things you don't understand." replied Remus, dismissing the apology.

Nodding, Keli went back to her drink. It may be natural to want to know but I can't ask, I just can't, she thought, as she left the table and returned to bed even though she wasn't the least bit tired.

***

The full moon rose at ten that night which Remus was grateful for - Keli would be in bed and wouldn't have to see him transform.

The transformation itself went as smoothly as it possibly could go, and although Remus kept his mind, tonight it seemed as thought the wolf in him wanted to know who the new member of his pack was.

Moony was pacing back and forth outside the bedroom door and Padfoot sat on his hind legs, watching Moony pace. He knew what was bothering the wolf but he wasn't sure if he should let him into the bedroom in case Keli became scared.

They both had noticed that, along with some of the pleasant traits of a werewolf, when the full moon drew nearer Keli had shown a few of the unpleasant traits and they couldn't do anything about it except wait it out.

Obviously Moony had had enough of pacing as he was now pawing at the door letting out an impatient whine. After some thorough pawing at the door it opened wide enough to admit a six foot wolf into the room.

Keli was in a restless sleep. When she heard the door open she woke up, and, sitting up she saw a grey and brown wolf coming towards her. Keli knew that she should be scared, but she wasn't - she just sat still and let the wolf come to her.

Moony jumped up onto the bed and began sniffing at Keli. The wolf knew Keli was hurt and needed protecting like a small cub, and in that moment he knew he'd protect her through anything.

Moony ambled up to the top of the bed as Keli lay back down and curled up in a ball. The wolf curled itself up around Keli protectively and waited until she fell asleep.

The comforting presence of the wolf made Keli feel safe and secure, and soon she started to drift asleep; not at all bothered if the wolf yawned or moved.

She was comfortable.

The wolf didn't have to wait too long before he could go to sleep as well, and sure enough an hour later wolf and child were both asleep.

What neither of them noticed was Sirius sitting in his human form at the end of the bed, not making a noise. Watching them both sleep, he knew that he'd have to wake Moony up before he transformed back to human. For now, though, he let them rest, and feel secure in each others presence.