Weird Feelings

Weird feelings

(by Moony-Mike)

Harry sat on his bed in the Gryffindor sixth years' dormitory. He seemed to be fully unaware of anything around him, and he kept muttering to himself.

"It can't be, can it? I mean - what is that all about? After me and Cho last year - okay, there was that big quarrel and then the breaking up - but why these strange, almost weird feelings now? After all these years looking around after girls - or was this perhaps not real?"

He shook his head fervently and seemed to be trying to push those weird feelings out of his mind, but apparently with just little success.

"Oh Potter, just think of it! You and - no, this is impossible, can't be! Try to get your thoughts right and come off that... this... it just can't be - or can it?"

Ron had been leaning against the door frame and watching his best friend arguing with himself for nearly half an hour. He didn't see any capable hint in those incomplete sentences Harry was muttering, sometimes uttering with a rising voice - just as if he'd thought that would bring his mind back to seriousness - away from those weird feelings.

Harry suddenly seemed to give in. He shook his head violently, his glasses almost dropping after having glided down his nose. But he apparently had got the conclusion he couldn't deny these whatsoever feelings that were plaguing his mind.

"Could it be real? Me and... me and - him?"

Ron gasped - it must have been slightly audible, because Harry's head swung around and the black-haired boy gazed at his best friend, his eyes widened with horror.

"Ron! - What the... What are you doing here?"

"Dunno -" Ron shrugged "Just coming up to look if you were somewhere - thought you'd fancy a game of chess -"

"What did you hear?" Harry asked with a slightly hurt and annoyed expression.

"Nothing - I mean -" Ron suddenly flushed to dark scarlet. He looked around and then walked into to join Harry on his bed. "Harry - did I hear it right?"

"WHAT did you hear?" The tone in Harry's voice was unmistakeably shocked and a bit angry. "Just tell me - what?"

"Well, not that much - but particularly - these last words - you know - about you and... and... him -" He swallowed hard. "Harry, you're - you're not - I mean - I don't know how to express -" He seemed to be searching for the right and tactful words. "You're not - gay, are you, Harry?"

Harry looked into his eyes. He reddened slightly, but he was completely calm. "I just don't know, Ron. I didn't think this could be possible, so I've been arguing with myself for more than a week. Me - gay? I don't know, but... I - I think yes." He still looked straight into Ron's eyes. Ron gasped again.

"Listen, Ron, this is... I mean -" Harry began, but Ron lifted his right hand to stop him.

"Who's - well, who's - him?"

"You really - want to know?"

"I'm your friend, Harry. Have we ever had any secrets we couldn't tell each other. Tell me - please, Harry!"

"It's - oh Ron, you'll hate me - it's -" Harry placed one hand on Ron's upper arm, making him feel somehow uncomfortable. "It's - you."

Long silence. Both just kept staring into each other's eyes.

"M - me?" Ron gasped and stared blankly into Harry's eyes.

"Ron - listen..." Harry began, however not certain how to explain at all. "I don't want to embarrass you. I know - I can imagine how you must feel after hearing these - these - news..."

But Ron again held up his hand to stop him. "Harry..."

"I know, Ron, I shouldn't have..."

"Harry..."

"Oh, I'm so miserable, Ron! I don't deserve you as a friend. What the hell am I..."

"HARRY! Would you please shut up for a moment!" Ron had gripped his friend by the shoulders and was piercing him with his gaze. "It's all okay."

"But, Ron, I just..."

"No, it's okay, Harry, really, no matter."

Harry gaped at him. "It's - you mean - it's - just okay?"

"Yes, Harry." Ron swallowed and suddenly reddened like a radish. "It's only - I wanted to tell you before, but there was no - well, no proper occasion..."

"Ron, what are you telling me?"

"It's me as well, Harry." Ron, who had been looking down to the earth as he said this, now looked straight in Harry's eyes. "It's me as well. I'm feeling the same way." He stood up and waved his long arms, trying to put it into right words. "Oh - isn't it typical, Harry?"

Harry stared at him. "What's - typical?"

"I too have been thinking and arguing about it for some time. It was just a few days ago I thought I finally had to acknowledge it - I had to talk to you and get to the point about it at last. And now - well, now you - as every time - have been first doing it."

"Oh, Ron..." Harry smiled and wrapped an arm around Ron's waist. "Ron, you're not telling me you still suffer from me being the Boy Who Lived and you - you just a - sidekick, are you? Because, if yes, I think we discussed it loads of times and you certainly know that to me - as well as to Hermione, by the way - you're perfectly equal, Ron."

Harry let go of Ron and paced around the room, shaking his head and gesturing with his arms.

"Believe me, Ron, I would like to shift with you sometimes."

He came to a halt in front of Ron and looked into his eyes.

"You have got parents who love you, brothers and a sister you grew up together with, there's never boredom at your home. You learnt a lot of magic already before you started at Hogwarts, while I was completely unaware of my magical abilities. Every summer you return to your home, while I just visit a horrible house - worse than an orphanage - where I'm perhaps as much worth as a slug in the garden or a cockroach in the kitchen, if not less."

He stepped nearer to his friend and laid his arms around him.

"Ron - my friend - I would not hesitate a single second to give all my Gringotts gold, my invisibility cloak, all my Boy-Who-Lived-fame - everything I own, to get and hold you instead. You are my friend, one of my two best friends." He swallowed and went slightly pink in the face. "And if you want this, too, Ron, you'd make me the happiest boy being my boyfriend."

They looked into each other's eyes for a while. When Ron spoke, it seemed that a large lump was sitting in his throat.

"Yes, Harry, I want it, too", he managed out.

They kept looking at each other.

"Does that mean, we're..." Harry asked quietly, "... we're in love?"

"I s'pose so", Ron answered matter-of-factly, but starting to grin at the same time.

Harry grinned, too.

"Does that mean, we're..." he went on, "... we're an item?"

"Looks like we are, eh?" whispered Ron, before he embraced Harry, and they held each other tightly.

They kissed. It was a kiss that sealed their relationship more than every word could do.

"You now come down for chess?" asked Ron, when they finally had gotten apart.

Harry looked at him in mocking astonishment.

"You want to fight and beat your boyfriend? What bad a proof of love, I must say!"

"You want love proof?" Ron replied quick-wittedly. "Well, let's discuss that after the chess-fight." He grinned mischievously.

They once more exchanged a kiss and then made their way down to the common room.

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