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Sirius has thought it was all about sex. Nothing else, nothing more. Until he woke up one day and realized ... he was in love with Remus Lupin.

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Remus, still slightly groggy and not quite awake, sighed into Sirius' shoulder. He could stay like this forever, lying in Sirius' embrace. This was where he was the happiest anymore. The war had made life that much harder and everywhere he looked innocent people were being sacrificed for "the cause." But here, with Sirius, he was safe ... and he was happy.

His slight movement woke Sirius. He was such a light sleeper that Remus tried not to move in order to stay together longer. Remus knew that once Sirius was awake, THIS would end.

Sure enough, once Sirius opened his eyes he sat up. Remus grabbed for his wrist and tried to get him to lie back down.

"What's your hurry?" he asked Sirius, who had pulled his wrist gently from Remus' grip and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "We aren't needed at the Order until after noon." Sirius gave him his best puppy dog smile and ruffled Remus' hair.

"I've got to get back to my own flat before then. Or else, the others will begin suspecting something." He hadn't meant it to be insulting, but Remus couldn't help but feel a little used. He sat up then, and tucked his legs underneath his body protectively.

"Oh ... I suppose so ..." Remus turned his gaze away from the other man. Sensing something was bothering him, Sirius lightly grabbed Remus' face and turned him towards him.

"What is it, Mooney, what's wrong? You don't want anyone knowing about us, do you?" Remus leaned out of Sirius' grasp and looked down at the bed spread, absent mindedly playing with a corner of it.

"Well ... Yes, actually ... I was thinking it's about time ... you know ..." Remus drifted off, hoping that Sirius would agree and complete his half thoughts. He avoided eye contact as long as he could, but after an extended period of silence he looked up into Sirius' face. Sirius met his gaze, but there was uncertainty in his eyes.

"We can't, Remus. We just can't tell anyone." He raised his eyebrow at Remus. "You understand that, don't you?" Remus dropped his gaze again and nodded at the bed spread. He understood alright. Remus knew he was being taken advantage of, he knew that Sirius was only there for the night then gone in the morning.

"Good, I knew you would." Sirius stated. He bent down and kissed Remus on the head, and then with a loud crack he was gone. At that sound, Remus brought his knees to his chest and began to cry. He couldn't do it anymore. If Sirius didn't feel the same way about him then Remus would have to end it now.

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They had been seeing each other off and on for a little over a year now. It had started out innocently enough, right after graduation from Hogwarts. They had joined the Order of the Phoenix with their best friends; James, Peter, and Lily. After a particularly long night of mapping out an entrance route to one of the Death Eater's hideouts, Remus kissed him. Sirius had attributed it to stress, or possibly exhaustion, but it felt too good to pass up.

During the following months the two spent the occasional night with each other. Friends and freedom fighters by day, lovers by night. But, it wasn't every night. He couldn't help noticing the hurt look on Remus' face the morning after Sirius brought another man or woman back to his flat. How Remus ever knew was beyond him.

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Remus sat in the middle of the OotP headquarters that evening with Emmeline Vance. He was attempting to complete a layout of the hidden entrances to yet another ancient castle when a voice called his name.

"Where's Padfoot?" James asked him from somewhere behind his chair. Remus didn't bother to turn around, or even look up from his work. He couldn't stand seeing James and Lily sitting so comfortably close, as they most likely were. Not now when his heart had just been broken.

"He's your best friend, Prongs, you tell me." Remus felt bad about his harsh tone. He had no problems with James. But, this day was beginning to wear him out and the last thing he wanted to be reminded of was Sirius.

Before James could say anything more, Remus bid goodnight to Emmeline and promised her that he'd finish the layout in the morning. He slipped out of the room undetected by the other members of the Order. His flat was only minutes away from headquarters, so he decided to walk home. He was reaching for his coat when someone began talking next to him.

"You would think it's easy for me to admit I'm wrong. It's not ... but ... I was wrong. I'm sorry, Remus." He whirled around and was face to face with Sirius Black. He had an uncharacteristic serious look on his face.

"What are you talking about-" Remus was cut off by Sirius placing his hand softly on his mouth.

"Just ... hear me out, please?" Remus nodded against his hand, encouraging Sirius to go on. The taller man closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath. Opening his eyes, he looked unblinkingly into Remus' eyes.

"You have no idea what you do to me, Mooney. Do you?" Sirius held his palm to Remus' cheek and rubbed his thumb against his bottom lip. No one had ever been able to tame Sirius, not even his wicked family. But, somehow Remus, in his gently, quiet, loving way, had tamed the beast.

"I'm afraid to lose you. That scares me, you know? Nothing I've lost before has ever mattered. No One I've ever lost has mattered. But you ... you matter." Sirius bent in closer to him and began to whisper, "I've never been in love like this." Remus let out a small gasp. His eyes were wide and beginning to tear up.

"I can't ... I ... Sirius, please don't ... I can't take it anymore." Remus stepped backwards, away from Sirius, but Sirius grabbed for his wrist and pulled him back.

"Come here-" Sirius tried to coax Remus towards him, but Remus suddenly became very irate. He yanked his arm from Sirius' grasp.

"NO! I'm tired of your games! I'm tired of being left behind! I can't do this anymore." Remus made for the door, but Sirius blocked the way, so Remus turned and quickly walked back toward the common room. At least there, Sirius wouldn't try anything.

He burst into the room with more force than he intended, blushed slightly, and took his seat next to Emmeline again. But, before she could question him Sirius burst into the room and hurried over towards him. Upon his entrance, several of the members cheerfully called out Sirius' name, but he ignored them all. He was fully intent on speaking his mind to Remus. He no longer cared who was listening, and spoke in a loud voice.

"Listen to me, Remus Lupin! I've never been ashamed about myself, but lately I've been acting like a prat. Every time I'm with you, you do something to me. You're the only one I've not been able to refuse; I can't get you out of my head." Sirius took a breath. Remus wasn't sure if Sirius was aware that the whole room was as silent as a tomb, watching their scene play out in front of them.

"I love you, Remus." He paused and lowered his voice a bit, "And, I'm not ashamed of it anymore."

Remus couldn't remember anyone's reactions; his only recollection of that moment was being in Sirius' embrace and kissing Sirius' mouth.

"I love you too, Padfoot." Remus whispered in his ear.