Mommy's Lonely Valentine

Mommy's Lonely Valentine

It's almost a month since you have left us, Daddy. Mommy and I really miss you. It's so lonely around here without you. You have no idea how much I treasure the memories I've had of you. Mommy isn't good these day, not good at all. She cried for almost everyday since you left us. She wouldn't eat and refused to rest. Your name is now one of the forbidden things to mention in our household. Every time we mentioned something that reminds Mommy of you, she would cry. Aunty Ginny and Uncle Ron are always around. They are doing their best to comfort Mommy but she's still sad, especially now the Valentine is here.

Do you remember the disastrous proposal and wedding you had told me so much about? You said that those were the funniest but also the freakiest things that had ever happened to you and Mommy. Do you remember those horrible mistakes you and Uncle Ron made in your proposal to Mommy? Uncle Ron sent Mommy the wrong letter and made her thinks that he wanted to date her. Then you all gotten into the mud fight with Uncle Draco. That was the reason you and Mommy engaged in mud. After all that madness, you had conveniently lost Mommy's ring. It was a disaster never forgotten. Do you remember all the terrible things that happened in your wedding? About the flock of birds which tore Mommy's wedding dress and her terrible delay on the road? I dare say your wedding inspired Uncle Fred and Uncle George tremendously as they made billions out of their invention of your wedding present. Your wedding and proposal story had always been my favorite to hear. I don't know when I can hear about it again. Mommy refuses to think about those memories at all.

Do you remember what fun we've had during the first Christmas I could ever remember? You took Mommy and me to the Caribbean for a whole week. That was your only holiday for the whole year and you spent it with Mommy and me. Do you remember when you push Mommy into the sea playfully when we were on the beach? Mommy shrieked as she landed in the water. The book she had been reading had been splashed by the waves. Do you remember Mommy sat angrily in the water, fuming mad at you? You laughed at Mommy's expression. Then a wave washed over Mommy and carried her to the deeper part of the ocean. Do you remember jumping frantically into the water and rescued Mommy who was half drowned? You were so worried when she wouldn't wake up after you brought her back to the shore. You hugged her and me tightly when she finally regained consciousness. It's one of the sweetest memories I have of you and I know it would never happen again except in our dreams.

Do you remember when you took me on the broom for the first time? It was fun. I loved the feel of wind blowing against my cheeks. Mommy screamed and yelled the whole time while we were in the air. You landed us in front of her and endured her nags for five minutes before you grabbed her by the waist and kicked off again. It was the first and only time our whole family flew together. Mommy had been awfully scared and nearly squashed me against you. Mommy beat you up for the first time when we landed. You never dared trying that again. I had hoped that someday you would get a broom big enough and we could do that again. This is now another dream that would never be fulfilled.

Do you remember my fifth birthday? You came home with a big pink bunny for me. It is still sitting by my bed. The pink on it is almost white now. It had been around for so long, but I won't throw it away even if it rots. I kept all my birthday presents from you safely. Each and every one of them reminds me of you. Of course, I have to put them away just for now. Mommy would cry at the sight of them. But they will always be the most precious items among my treasures. My birthday would be here again soon. I'll be eleven in another month but you won't be there to give me a surprise present nor would you watch as I cut my cake and make my wish. It'll be so weird to celebrate my birthday without you.

Every year at your wedding anniversary, you would leave me with Uncle Ron and Aunty Luna while you take Mommy out for a day. I don't know what you do on that day, but it must be wonderful for every time Mommy and you came back you two would be extra happy. For one day each year, Mommy's eyes would shine and she would put down her piles of thick books for fun time. The wedding anniversary day must have been the recharge day for Mommy and you. No matter how terrible you and Mommy felt, your lives would brighten immediately after that day. Now that you're gone and Mommy felt terrible, who would be there to recharge her and make her feel better?

At this time of the year each year, you would always come home with a red rose for Mommy and a box of chocolates for me. You would hug us and kiss us, claiming that we are your Valentine. One year I was sick of the chocolate and stole Mommy's flower. The thorn pricked me and I cried. As Mommy treated my wound, you joked and asked why I haven't faint like the Sleeping Beauty. I never dared touch Mommy's rose again. You said that someday a handsome boy would give me roses too and I would be more than happy to keep them. When that day comes, you said you would know that your little girl had grown up. There's no roses or chocolate this year, nor is there anyone to hug Mommy and me. I polished the vase Mommy usually kept your rose in but this year it's empty. Uncle Ron brought Mommy a bunch of roses and asked me to put them in the vase but Mommy threw them out angrily. She said that there would be no roses in that vase again as long as she lives. I don't think I want to touch chocolate again in my life. No chocolate would taste as good as the ones you brought me from Honeyduke.

You know I'm starting Hogwarts this year. I'm scared and even Mommy's copy of Hogwarts: A History couldn't calm me. I wish you were here to tell me about the castle and more tales of your and Mommy's days there. I asked Uncle Ron and Aunty Ginny, but having them telling me things like that is just different. You won't be there to help me pick out my school supplies in Diagon Alley. I would buy my wand with only Mommy beside me. Nor would you be there to see me off on the Hogwarts Express.

There'll be so many things in my life you would miss. You are going to miss my first Quidditch game if I get into the house team. You'll miss my OWLs and NEWTs results when I take them. You won't even be there for my wedding. My dream of you walking down the aisle is now forever shattered. I would be alone when I walk to my groom-to-be.

Sometimes I really hated you for being Harry Potter, the hero of the world. I know being Harry Potter is a heavy burden with Voldemort and the Death Eaters to finish off. It must have been awful working as an Auror. There'll always be criminals to hunt down and evils to fight. I know you are the hope of the world, candle in the dark. You know we are all proud of you, but there are times I wished that you were someone insignificant. Had you not been the Boy-Who-Lived, you would not have been the Man-Who-Died. Voldemort and his Death Eater would never target you and Mommy and I would still have had you bringing home flowers and chocolate for this Valentine. You would never had need to miss out on my first school day either. And Mommy wouldn't be lying in her bed, crying her eyes out now.

Who is going to be there when I graduate? Almost everyone else in school would have both their mother and father in the graduation feast. But beside Mommy there would be an empty seat. Who would be there to joke with Mommy when her works gets too depressed and need some cheering ups? I'm no good with jokes and Uncle Ron's sense of humor doesn't seem to work on her. Who is going to give me the blessing from the father when I marry? Who is going to be here and keep Mommy company when I'm away in Hogwarts? Who is going to look after Mommy in sickness and in health until she dies? I won't be there for her forever and you're gone and won't ever come back again. You died a hero's death, I know. You saved the world from destruction and evil for the last time in your life by giving your own life away. You know it's only temporary for evil will never cease, yet you did it anyway. Why couldn't you be selfish for once and stay with Mommy and me? We can't live without you, yet life must go on.

This Valentine is a rainy Valentine. It is raining outside as I write this down. It's raining so hard that it seemed that even sky is grieving for this lonely Valentine for Mommy and me. Mommy is still crying in her room. I am staring out of my window, watching the sky weeping for us, for your selfless sacrifice. As I watch the rain dripping down the roof, I could feel my throat tighten. I want to cry too. You've told me so many times that brave Gryffindor girls don't cry, but I can't help it anymore, Daddy. Tears are pouring down my cheeks now at the rate the rain is falling. For the first time since I learnt that you have died, I cried. I'm sorry, Daddy, I can't hold the tears back any longer. If only you would burst into the house right now with roses and chocolates in your hands and tell us everything's just a bad dream. If only you would be here and comfort Mommy, I would swear that I would never spill another tear. If only you are still with us... but there are things that cannot be.

This Valentine is a lonely one and so would all the other ones in the years to come. Winter, spring, summer, fall, you would not be here. If only you have known how sad Mommy and I are, you would have stayed.

Oh yes, if you had known, you would never had gone away....

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**__The End__**

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