Ronald and Lavender's Set-Up Service

2

PLANS

[The first chap was called 'Leaving Home' but I forgot to put that in.]

It was about one, and Harry and Ron were unpacking in the guest bedroom. It was a smallish room. It contained a small fireplace, bunk beds, a dresser, a small closet and a table with a globe and stereo on it. Its yellowy-orange wallpaper was peeling off the walls. Harry couldn't help noticing that it went extremely well with Ron's hair.

Ron, of course, had unpacked his Chudley Cannons poster and tacked it to the wall.

'Oh great. Now I have eight roommates. You and the entire Cannons team,' groaned Harry. He turned to face the fireplace. A light brown skinned girl with brown eyes and hair was standing in front of him.

'Lavender!' exclaimed Harry. 'Oy, Ron, guess who's here!'

'Ron turned around and his ears went pink.

'Ron!' Lavender ran up to him and hugged him around the middle.

'I'll go get Hermione,' said Harry.

He ran upstairs. Mrs. Granger was reading at the kitchen table.

'Mrs. Granger?'

'Yes, dear?'

'Where's Hermione's -'

Beatrice Granger pointed down the hall.

Harry walked down the hall. There were four doors connected to the hall. He had no clue which was Hermione's. He opened the first door. Laundry room. The second. A bathroom. The third, a pantry. He lingered in front of what obviously was Hermione's bedroom. He paced back and forth. He laughed at himself. Harry Potter, the boy who laughed at danger, was afraid to talk to a girl? His best friend, who nonetheless, was a girl. He then gathered up some courage and knocked three times on the door.

'Come in,' said Hermione's voice.

*

Meanwhile...

'We have to do something,' said Lavender, as she and Ron sat on Ron's bottom-bunk bed.

'What do you mean?'

'About them.'

'Who?' said Ron, puzzled.

'Harry and Hermione, dimwit,' Lavender laughed. 'Has our makeout session not enlightened you?'

Ron laughed. 'What about them?'

'Don't you think they have great chemistry?'

'Yes...'

'We should so set them up. I mean, aren't we taking Harry out for a surprise dinner tonight?'

'Yes...'

'It'll be easy, like in all of those romance novels...'

[Authors' Note: This is the point where THE CORNINESS BEGINS!!! Ha ha! Ahem. Read on, gentle reader.]

Ron looked at Lavender, confused. Then he smiled. 'We need the right music. We'll make a whatchamacallem - er - a CD! We'll convince the manager to play it!'

'We'll order all of the right foods. Finger foods. Fondue for dessert,' Lavender grinned.

'We'll sit outside on the patio. No one sits on the patio at suppertime. We'll be completely alone.'

'Good plan. When dessert comes, we'll excuse ourselves. It'll be dark outside,' Lavender said.

Ron smiled. 'We can find some way to spy on them...'

'Through a crack or a window...'

'With the right atmosphere, they're bound to fall for each other!'

'This is going to be perfect!'

'Hey, if we're successful, we can start a business at school! One set-up for three sickles! We'll be rich. We can call it 'Ronald and Lavender's Set-Up Service!'

Lavender grinned. 'We've already set up a match!'

'What do you mean?'

'Us,' she said and she leaned in to kiss him again.

*

Meanwhile...

Harry walked into Hermione's room. She was lying on her bed, reading a Muggle magazine.

'Hey,' he said.

Hermione put the magazine on the floor, moved to the end of the bed and indicated for Harry to sit beside her.

Harry looked around. The walls were painted with red and orange flames, and all of her furniture was painted those colours as well.

'Neat room.'

'Thanks. I spent all summer after first year doing it.'

'You did this?' Harry was amazed.

'Yes. It's a lot easier than it looks.'

'Oh.' Harry and Hermione made eye contact. They absentmindedly stared at each other for nearly a minute, until Hermione, embarrassed, broke away.

'Where's Ron?' she asked, to change the subject.

'Oh, yeah! That's why I came up!' he exclaimed. 'Lavender came in through the fireplace in our room.

'So Ron's down there. With Lavender. Alone. In a room with a bed.'

'Oh God.'

Harry and Hermione ran down the stairs and burst into the room. To their relief, Ron and Lavender were simply sitting on the bed, talking about the weather.

'What were you doing?' asked Hermione.

'Nothing,' they both said at the same time.

'I hope that nothing wasn't on my bed.'

*

Hermione and Lavender were in Hermione's bedroom, piles of clothes at their feet. There were other, larger piles by the door and by the closet. The larger piles by the closet were maybes, and the ones by the door were nos.

Hermione went into the corner and came back seconds later wearing a pink ankle length dress with long sleeves.

'Too girly.'

Lav went into the corner and tried on an emerald green silky top and a long, black skirt.

'Too grown-up.'

Hermione tried on a red sleeveless dress with a built-in belt.

'Nah.'

They went through their stacks and stacks of clothes until they had narrowed it down to one dress each. Lavender was going to wear a long, sleeveless dress in her namesake colour, lavender, with flat sandals. Lavender insisted Hermione wear a strapless, black dress and black heels. Hermione agreed, but decided to wear a black sweater over it.

'I'll be right back,' said Lavender. Lav walked out of the room and ran out to the backyard, still in her outfit. Ron was waiting for her beside the cherry tree.

'Lav, you look sexy,' he said.

[Author's Note: Nice pickup line, Ron.]

'I convinced Hermione to wear a really sexy dress.' Lav.

'It'll have to be something to catch his attention,' said Ron.

'Oh, it is. Anyways, excuse me, Hermione and I have to put overloads of makeup on our faces. Toodles,' said Lav, powerwalking back to the house.