Hermione's Heart

HERMIONE'S HEART, PART 2: Jealousy

"Cho says you were a big help the other day, showing her that bit about transfiguration," said Harry to Hermione over breakfast Monday morning.

"What?" Hermione yelped, so loudly that others at the Gryffindor table stopped their conversations to glance over at her.

Harry gave her a puzzled look as well, and Hermione added, in a quieter voice, "I mean, how could I be much help to her? She's in seventh year. Honestly, she helped me more than anything." A blush crept over her features as Hermione recalled exactly how Cho had aided her and she busied herself with a plate of sausages.

"Well, whatever, I think it's great you two are getting along so well." Harry frowned at Ron across the table. "At least you've given Cho a chance."

"As long as your dating Cho doesn't interfere with Gryffindor winning at Quidditch, I have no problem," said Ron, though a mouthful of toast.

"Since we're both captains of our teams, we both want to win," answered Harry, still giving Ron a dark look. The two of them had clashed over this very issue last year, when Harry and Cho had first got together, and it remained a sore point.

"I've got to go," muttered Hermione, gathering up her books. She almost ran into Cho, who seemed to be on her way over to the Gryffindor table.

"Careful," Cho said lightly, placing a hand on Hermoine's arm and steadying the load of books she was carrying. Looking her in the eye, the older girl added with a twinkle, "How'd you sleep last night?"

But Hermione did not return the grin. Shaking her head, she said, "I've got to go to the library before class," and swept past Cho.

Hermione had intended to do a quick literature search to make sure she hadn't missed some sort of book, even a self-help volume, that might deal with her current romantic dilemma. But as soon as she stepped into the library, she knew this was one of those situations where books wouldn't be much help. She would just have to figure it out on her own. Feeling resigned, Hermione headed for her first class. Most of the rest of the school was just leaving breakfast, streaming out of the Great Hall in hordes. Hermione saw Harry walking with Cho; he was holding her hand and smiling at something she was saying. Gripping the banister more tightly, Hermione waited until they had passed the staircase, then hurried down to class.

***

During the morning break, Hermione spotted Cho headed her way. Glancing around for Harry and not finding him, Hermione concluded Cho was coming to talk to her.

"Hi," she smiled nervously.

Cho looked at her expectantly. "Having a good morning?"

"Um, yeah, sure." Hermione caught sight of Professor McGonagall over Cho's shoulder.

Noticing Hermione's wandering attention, Cho turned around, recognized the distraction, and scowled. "Still hung up on her?"

Hermione shifted her rucksack from one shoulder to the other. "Of course not. Not really. I mean, of course I admire her tremendously--"

Cho cut her off. "Sure. You admire her," she mimicked sarcastically.

"You really think she's a threat?" Hermione teased.

"You tell me."

"Hey, girls." Harry sidled up next to Cho and placed his hand on the small of her back. "Ready for another Hagrid hour?" he asked Hermione.

"What's it today?" Now it was Hermione's turn to scowl, but her dark looks had nothing to do with Hagrid's Care of Magical Creatures class and the possibilities it offered for burning, cutting and otherwise endangering oneself. She noticed Cho didn't seem to be doing much to discourage Harry. Obviously, she hadn't said anything to him yet.

Harry shrugged. "Only one way to find out, right?" He turned to Cho and said, "See you later," then headed outside, across the lawns to Hagrid's cottage. Hermione glanced back over her shoulder to say something to Cho, but seeing as she still looked a bit put out, changed her mind and followed Harry.

It wasn't until Arithmancy that Hermione found the note in her book, a corner of parchment Cho had obviously torn off and stuck inside the cover that morning at breakfast. Meet me tonight--Charms room at 8:00 the note instructed. Hermione smiled to herself and stuffed the note into the pocket of her robes. So that's why Cho had been so odd this morning--she was expecting a response to her note. Ignoring the nagging guilt about deceiving Harry, Hermione focused instead on what it might be like to kiss Cho again that very night.

**

That evening after dinner, Hermione crammed for next day's lessons in the Gryffindor common room, giving extra-severe warnings and punishments to those who disrupted her solitude. She needed to get everything done early tonight to meet Cho. At a quarter of, she stashed her notes away and made a discreet exit. Thanks to her earlier severity, the common room seemed quiet and under control, all the students fearing further punishment from their prefect.

Cho was already waiting for her; a big smile appeared on her face when she saw Hermione. "I wasn't sure if the prospect of seeing me was enough to lure you away from your studies," she confessed, crossing the room to embrace Hermione.

Hermoine felt a little awkward at first, but Cho seemed so self-assured, she quickly forgot her own insecurities. The Charms room wasn't particularly romantic, smelling of chalk dust and general mustiness, but Hermione forgot all about that as she inhaled Cho's scent, and felt Cho's mouth on hers. Closing her eyes, Hermione flung her arms around the other girl and pressed her face against Cho's neck. "I missed you," she murmured. "I didn't find your note until after lunch. You're very sneaky, you know."

"Think so?" Despite her outward appearance, Cho was feeling a bit nervous herself. She really liked Hermione, and couldn't believe her feelings were returned. She felt a little more shy than she had the other day in Hogsmeade; tonight there was no undoing of robes and she contented herself with entangling her fingers in Hermione's thick brown hair.

"Definitely," Hermione whispered, moving closer and kissing Cho. She surprised them both when their teeth knocked against each other with the strength of her kisses, but neither of them complained.

Hermione totally lost track of time, and only when she started feeling winded did she finally draw away. The room was completely dark now, the only light coming from faint starlight beyond the windows, and the occasional lamp down the hall. Neither girl spoke for a moment.

"I hate to bring this up but, you did speak to Harry, didn't you?" ventured Hermione.

Cho pulled away and walked over to the window. With a quick tap of her wand and the words "Alohomora," the sash flew up and she leaned out for a breath of cool air before replying. "Not yet."

"Cho, come on. You know how I feel about sneaking around behind Harry's back. If you don't say something to him, I will."

Cho jumped back inside, banging her head against the windowsill. "What? You wouldn't!"

"I would." Hermione regarded her seriously. "I mean it, Cho. It's just not right."

"Fine. I'll break things off with Harry when you give up McGonagall."

"That's hardly the same thing! You've been seeing Harry since last year; he really likes you. Professor McGonagall just thinks of me as another student."

"Just another student, are you? Is that why you get all slack-jawed every time she passes by?" Cho tried to joke, but Hermione crossed her arms and remained resolute.

"Alright," Cho said slowly. "I'll take care of it. But I'm not telling him about us, not yet, okay?"

"Okay."

Cho remained a small distance away from Hermione, assessing her. "You know there's nothing, er, 'romantic' going on between Harry and me, don't you?"

Hermione felt awkward. "I don't know what's going on with you two."

But Cho seemed to feel the need to get things off her chest. "I mean, when we first got together, there was something--I thought to myself, maybe this will be different-- but like I said the other day, in the end it just isn't there for me." She laughed shortly. "And if Harry Potter can't make me straight, I mean to say, who can?"

Hermione came over to Cho and put her arms around her waist. "Harry's not like that. I'm sure he'll understand."

"Hermione, no guy likes to hear the 'let's just be friends' talk."

"I don't think he'd want you to keep seeing him just because of who he is, or who you were hoping you might become."

"I know." Cho looked down, then shook her long fringe out of her eyes. "You're a lot stronger than I gave you credit for."

"Thanks, I guess."

"Listen, one more thing." Cho licked her lips and for the first time, Hermione thought she looked nervous. "I was thinking--would you like to come visit me in London, over the winter break? It might be nice to, you know, get away from here."

Hermione allowed herself a small grin. "Yeah, that'd be fun."

Cho bent down and gave Hermione a quick kiss. "Okay, then. I'd better go. Keep your fingers crossed."

Hermione held up her right hand, her first two fingers crossed. "Already am." Giving Cho a smile she hoped was encouraging, Hermione turned and left for Gryffindor tower. She'd thought this would make her feel more relieved, but now she was nervous. What exactly would Cho tell Harry? And how would he react?

***

Hermione wasn't entirely surprised when, a few days later, Harry summoned Ron and herself outside for a talk. He said nothing as they walked around the lake in the late afternoon gloom. The edges of the lake were starting to freeze, with big chunks of ice extending from the shore towards the deep center. Their breath came in little puffs against the cold air.

"What's up?" Ron finally asked.

Harry stopped walking and turned to face them. "Cho broke up with me," he said in a low voice.

Both Hermione and Ron goggled at him.

"Did she--did she say why?" Hermione managed to squeak.

Harry shook his head and resume walking, hands deep in his pockets and his eyes on the ground. "Not exactly. But I think there's someone else."

"Who?" demanded Ron.

"No idea. I asked her, but she said she'd rather not answer that question. So obviously there's somebody, she just doesn't want to say who."

Hermione had jammed her hands against her mouth and was now gnawing nervously at her knuckle.

"You've been spending a lot of time with her," Ron said to Hermione, looking irritated. "Bet she told you who it is."

Hermione shook her head, not trusting herself to speak.

"Come on, Hermione," continued Ron. "We're your best friends. Who is he?"

"I don't think--I don't think there's another guy," Hermoine whispered, feeling she was about to either be sick or burst into tears.

"Lay off her, Ron," said Harry, glancing over at Hermione. "Can't you see she's upset, too?"

Hermione could tell Ron was itching to say something about how he'd never trusted Cho in the first place, and that it was taking all his self control not to. She didn't want to think what he'd have to say if he knew the whole truth.

"Listen, Hermione," added Harry, "I know you were planning to spend part of your Christmas holidays with Cho. And it's okay," he said, holding up a hand against Ron's incredulous expression. "I know you two are friends now, and just because she and I--well, I don't want you to feel you have to choose between us, you know?"

Ron could contain himself no longer. "How could you even think of going to her house?"

Before Hermione could answer, Harry stepped in again. "Ron, I'm the one who wanted them to get to know each other. I can't just tell Hermione to stop being her friend."

"Maybe not, but a true friend wouldn't have to be told," he muttered.

Hermione gave a gulp and could feel the tears already starting at her eyes.

"It's okay," said Harry, giving Ron an exasperated look as he put an arm around Hermione. But his kindness to her just made her sob all the harder, and pulling away, Hermione ran all the way back to the castle.

**

Hermione didn't see Ron or Harry until dinner that evening. To her surprise, both seemed in much better spirits. Ron, in fact, was almost smiling when he sat down next to her.

"Sorry," he mumbled, reaching for the jug of pumpkin juice. "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that." Hermione looked puzzled, and Ron continued. "Harry and I were talking, and I reckon you should go with Cho--you can find out who this mystery man is for us!" He now looked at her excitedly.

Hermione looked down at her plate. Suddenly the roast beef felt dry in her mouth.

"We're not asking you to spy on her or anything," interjected Harry. "But you know, she's more likely to talk to you--you're a girl."

"What if it's a secret? If she didn't want to tell you, what makes you think she's going to tell me anything? I'm one of your best friends," Hermione snapped.

Ron looked abashed. Clearly, her response was not what he had expected. "Come on, Hermione," he coaxed. Harry had obviously instructed him not to lose his temper again.

"I'm not promising anything," Hermione said, grabbed her book bag and exited, leaving Ron and Harry staring after her.

"What's got into her?" wondered Ron.

"Dunno. If you ask me, all these girls are acting strange lately," replied Harry.

Meanwhile, Hermione barreled down the corridor, intent on getting some studying done. She'd felt so distracted the last few days she hadn't been reading as much as she should.

"Miss Granger!"

Hermione stopped and realized she had narrowly missed literally running into Professor McGonagall. "Sorry, Professor."

"Not at all." Minerva McGonagall straightened her robes and examined Hermione more closely. "Is anything wrong?" she asked.

Hermione looked up at her teacher. A few weeks ago, she would have been thrilled with this chance to talk one-on-one, but now she wasn't so sure. Nothing seemed to be turning out as she'd imagined.

"You have seemed a bit, ah, preoccupied lately," Professor McGonagall persisted. "Why don't you step into my office and have a cup of tea?"

Reluctantly, Hermione followed her teacher down the hall. She shrugged off her book bag and took a seat on the uncomfortable sofa while Professor McGonagall brewed them a pot of tea. Normally Hermione enjoyed watching Minerva at work, the tea things flying around at her wand's command, but now she watched quietly as the creamer poured milk into her teacup.

"Sugar?"

"No, thank you."

"Now what seems to be the matter?" Professor McGonagall settled herself behind her desk and peered at Hermione over the edge of her cup.

Hermione wasn't sure where to begin. How many times had she imagined just such a scenario, herself alone with Minerva McGonagall? She would make witty and impressive conversation, and Minerva would realize she wasn't just a sixteen year old witch. Now that she was confronted with the object of her admiration, however, Hermione was drawing a blank.

"Professor, have you ever been married?" she burst out at last, embarrassed as soon as she asked.

Professor McGonagall appeared amused. She took a sip of tea before replying. "So it's love that's bothering you, is it?" she said knowingly. "A word of advice, Miss Granger--boys this age are rarely worth losing sleep over."

Hermione turned scarlet. "Trust me, it's not a boy that's the problem," she mumbled.

"Oh." Professor McGonagall nodded at her, then did a double-take and repeated, "Oh!"

Hermione twisted her mouth, dropped her head, and regarded Minerva sideways.

Recovering her composure, Professor McGonagall said, "I see." She suddenly became very interested in her tea, and stirred a spoon in it absently, doing a remarkably good impression of Professor Trelawney staring into a tea cup.

At length she began again. "Hermione, as you may know there are many witches who," here she set her tea cup down on the desk and fixed Hermione with her piercing stare, "--who find the company of wizards rather, er, cumbersome, shall we say. And at this age, well really, who could blame you?"

"Excuse me?" Hermione leaned forward and frowned, not quite sure what Professor McGonagall meant.

"That is, what you are feeling is not entirely unusual for a girl your age."

"What I'm feeling, Professor McGonagall?" Emboldened by her teacher's obvious discomposure, Hermione feigned innocence. It was all she could do not to laugh.

"Miss Granger, hadn't you better get along and finish your homework for tonight?"

"Oh, yes, Professor." Hermione nodded earnestly, smiling to herself. She called me Hermione, she thought, trying to fix in her memory exactly how Minerva's voice had lilted over her name.

Picking up her school bag, Hermione stood up and headed for the door. Pausing at the doorway, she turned back to Professor McGonagall and said, "Thanks for the tea. It was really helpful."

Professor McGonagall had also stood up. "Of course. Anytime, Miss Granger."

Hermione skipped back down the corridor, feeling much better than she had an hour ago. Intentionally or not, Professor McGonagall had certainly lifted her spirits. Really, there was nothing for Cho to be jealous of, Hermione told herself, still smiling over the moment Minerva had called her by name. There were loads of reasons why Profesor McGonagall would be helpful--she was Hermione's Head of House, she was the faculty advisor for prefects, she knew Hermione was good at Transfiguration....

Not until Hermione had reached the fat lady's portrait, and muttered "gimlet," did she realize that Professor McGonagall hadn't answered her question about being married. Well, it had been a personal question, Hermione reasoned, pulling out her books, parchment, and quill and settling at a table. Harry was off at Quidditch practice, and Hermione noticed Ron was actually studying, his tongue poking out as he labored over a roll of parchment. A peaceful quiet blanketed the common room, adding to the calm Hermione was finally beginning to feel. Ron felt Hermione's gaze, glanced up and gave her a tentative smile, which Hermione returned. Ron's red hair, Cho's face and Harry's swam before Hermione's eyes--Professor McGonagall persisted in her thoughts as well-- but she shook her head determinedly. Surely she could make all this work. She filled her quill with ink, bent over her books, and began to write.