Of Pain and Loss

I sat crumpled in the corner, looking on with frightened eyes as they did horrible things to the only one I've ever loved. The cold sweat trickled down my face, mingled with blood. I paid it no attention. My eyes were transfixed on the scene in front of me, but my mind was elsewhere. The thoughts that kept running through my head were blank and repetitive, as I tried to comprehend how this happened and what was going on. The Ministry Rebellions were gathered around him, wands drawn, expressions of maddening fury etched on their faces. I screamed out for him and I saw his head lift ever so slightly. I would have preferred it if her would have kept his head down, because the pained expression on his face was too much for my aching heart to bear.

I shouted his name once again, but one of the strong men holding onto me kicked me hard in the ribs. I was crippled with pain for a few moments, and all I could feel was the throbbing in my side. That woman, that horrible, hateful woman suddenly walked into the dank, stone room, her wand drawn out in front of her, and a scroll of paper clutched in her stubby fingers. Her face was contorted into such an expression of joy, that it made my stomach sick to look at her. She took a few steps closer to him, and kicked him hard. I heard him grunt in pain, and I nearly screamed out with pain myself. She spoke in harsh clipped tones, which barely concealed her glee.

"So, werewolf. We meet again! It's been so long, I've lost track. Just how long has it been, you filthy half breed? Twelve full moons?"

She smirked with self satisfaction, and her goons howled with morbid laughter that still rings in my ears when I settle myself down for another night's uneasy sleep. I tried to pull away, kicking, flailing and shrieking with all my might, trying to get away from him.

"You can't do this! You can't you horrid, vile woman!" I screamed.

Her face twisted into an expression of utmost fury and her puffy little eyes widened.

"Don't talk to me like that, you foul little whore. This filthy little werewolf has enslaved you! He brainwashed you! I am here saving your sorry hide, so for once in your life, McGonagall, hold your tongue!"

I wanted to kill her. I swear that had I been given the chance, I would have. I would have Avada Kedavra'd her without a second thought. She motioned for her followers to step away from the forlorn form of my beloved, and she grabbed him roughly by the collar.

"Get up, you pathetic vermin!" she hissed venomously.

I could feel the tears streaming down my face, mixing with the sweat and blood. I saw them drip down my nose as I huddled further into the corner and sobbed quietly. It pained my deeply to watch, and I felt as if my whole being was being torn up inside, as I cried out with my entire soul for someone, anyone, to come and save us. Help didn't come. There was silence as he got up slowly, painfully, and I felt his every movement somewhere inside my heart.

"Can't you move any faster? Haven't your rabid animal instincts kicked in yet?" Her group chuckled darkly and she sneered malevolently.

I wanted to be sick. How anyone could be so horrible, was beyond my comprehension. I raised my hand to wipe my brow, and my hand was shaking violently. I felt as if I'd run a marathon.

"Look me in the eye!" she barked.

He stood proud, despite his profusely bleeding lip and black eye. She sneered, a disgusted expression on her face.

"You disgust me. You and all your kind, walking among us. Bold as brass, unseen killers in our midst. I've gotten rid of them, Lupin. Now all I have to do to make this world perfect, is get rid of the last one."

Remus lifted his head and met her eyes, and for a moment I was afraid that I would cry out again. My very fiber longed for the hands that were now clenched in fists at his side to be brushing a stray strand of hair from my face. For his bleeding lips to be planting soft kisses down my neck, and whispering comforting words in my ear. The tears dripped more heavily and blurred my vision. Instead, his voice shaking with rage, he said,

"Why must you do it alone, Dolores? Isn't your dear Cornelius Fudge going to help you?"

She made a face of utmost contempt and when she spoke next it was in carefully controlled, clipped tones.

"Cornelius has been killed. Lord Voldemort murdered him. That old geezer, Dumbledore took over for him. He's doing a lovely job of screwing up the Ministry, I will say. But no matter. As long as we are here, there will be no need for the respectable pure bloods to worry. Mudbloods, however...had better beware. Now, where were we, half breed? Oh right, I was about to make the world a better place."

I saw Remus's eye twitch in anger. I could take it no longer. With all the strength I could muster, I whipped my body around, yanking my wand from the folds of my robes, and muttered every spell I could think of at Umbridge's yes men. The three holding me were stunned, but not before they could shout their warning for the others to come at me.

"Finish her off with the werewolf, men. We'll kill off two useless nobodies tonight."

"Bitch!" I shouted angrily.

"Pardon me, McGonagall?" She raised an eyebrow in sinister curiosity.

I gritted my teeth and said nothing, weighing the odds of whether or not I could get away. There were about twenty of them, and one of me. I threw caution to the winds and shot impedimenta at her. It missed her, and she cackled insanely. It was a horrible, humorless, bloodcurdling laugh, and it cut me to the bone. She ordered on her men, who looked more than capable of murder. I prayed again, desperately, for some savior to come and save two innocent people from the clutches of 'evil'. Before I knew it, I heard the fatal cry of Avada Kedavra and I felt the melting heat of it shoot past my face. I covered my head, awaiting the moment when my heart would cease to beat, when my blood would cease to flow, when my lungs would no longer breath. I waited, and waited. It didn't come.

Instead, I heard a cry of pain and a heavy thud as someone else took the fall. Almost afraid to see the lifeless body of whoever had been killed, and uncovered my head and looked at my feet. It was everything I'd ever feared, all the sorrow and sadness I'd ever felt pooled together, as I looked into the dull lusterless eyes of my beloved. I dropped to my knees on the cold, hard stone floor, and touched his face, muttering anything. I told him that it would be alright. I told him we would get out, and we would be happy forever. I told him that we'd have a house, and five children. The tears slipped down my face and splashed on his cold, pallid face, and I knew then that I'd lost him. I clutched myself to his chest and let myself sob uncontrollably. I could feel nothing. My heart had stopped with his; my soul had traveled on, hand in hand with his. He went to wherever he would go, leaving me an empty shell, here on earth alone. I can't remember what happened after Albus and the aurors came. The far wall blasted open, covering the floor in rubble, as they took Dolores and her sinister crew to Azkaban for a very long time. Barely covered in debris, I took no notice of the noise and commotion around me. I was numb and empty inside. With nothing to live for, I lay on the motionless chest of my lover, and cried myself into a dreamless sleep.

To this day I remember the pain, and I relive those moments in my nightmares. The sleep I have is disturbed, and restless. I'm on the verge of death myself, and my life is devoid of love or emotion. I have watched the only man I've ever loved be tortured and killed by a woman I hate. It was the worst moment of my life, and the most pivotal. I came to realize that in the world of Wizardry, being different isn't diversity. It's a crime. A crime that you and your loved ones will be punished. Someday, Remus and I will live somewhere, where there isn't prejudice against his kind or mine, and there will be prefect harmony. I hope it will be sooner rather than later, because here on earth I am no more than an empty shell, walking through the rain, on the cobbled streets, alone. Always, forever more, alone.