Get One Thing Straight, I'm Not

Chapter 2 Poetry Problem

"I found the answer to all of my problems."

"Really, James?" Remus skeptically questioned during afternoon break while the boys sat in front of the common room fire.

"Well, maybe not all of my problems, but at least my problem with getting Evans to like me. It's so simple I can't believe I didn't see it before," replied James cheerfully.

"Leave her alone?" guessed Peter.

"Forget her and go out with someone else?" Sirius suggested.

"Start respecting the other students so she won't think you're a prick?" hoped Remus.

James gaped at them. "Are you guys crazy?"

"Yep," said Sirius.

Peter shrugged. "I dunno."

"I prefer the term mentally challenged," answered Remus.

"Well, you're all wrong," James continued, ignoring their responses. "The answer is..." He paused dramatically. "Poetry!"

"But you can't write poems," Remus pointed out.

"That's why you lot have to help me."

Peter concentrated hard. It looked like it hurt. Eventually he said,
"I love you,
I love you,
I love you divine.
Please, give me your bubble gum;
You're sitting on mine."

"Ooooh, I have a good one!" Sirius cackled maniacally.
"Roses are red,
Apples are sour,
Open your legs,
And I'll show you my power."

Remus silently counted to ten to prevent himself from blushing.

James was definitely not poetic, however, he at least had the sense to realise that either of those would have gotten him slapped across the face. "Are you trying to get me injured?"

"Yep," said Sirius.

Peter shrugged. "I dunno."

"I prefer the term physically wounded," answered Remus.

Disregarding the first two, James turned his attention to Remus. "You're sensitive and smart, so you must be able to write poetry."

"Yes, I can," Remus confessed. "But my powers can only be used for good."

"C'mon, Remus," James urged.

"Please," added Sirius, making his gray eyes look exactly like the ones of a begging puppy. "I really don't want Jamesie to get hurt."

Remus sighed. It was difficult for him to deny James or Peter anything, but given the fact that his feelings for Sirius were less than casual, it was impossible for him to deny Sirius anything. "All right." He took out his quill and parchment and in a matter of minutes handed James a completed poem.

Your crimson hair is like the sun,
Beautiful and bright.
Your green eyes are jewels,
Mysterious as the night.
Your smile, though, is the best of all,
And if you smiled at me it would give my life light.

Sirius gasped as he read over James' shoulder. "That's really good."

Remus beamed.

"It is," James agreed. "Remy, do you know what you are?"

"A werewolf?"

James had to admit that was true, yet it was not what he was thinking of. "I was gonna say a Quake-Sword."

"A Quake-Sword?"

"You know, that famous Muggle playwright."

"You mean Shakespeare?"

"That's what I said."

"Riiight..."

After reading the poem Peter blurted, "I think Remus fancies Evans."

"Why?" inquired James, who had a strong suspicion that Remus fancied an individual that was very different from Lily Evans.

Peter looked at Remus apologetically. "It's just that his poem about her is so romantic."

Remus chuckled, "I think I could write a romantic poem about anyone."

"Even Dumbledore?" quipped Sirius.

"Probably."

"Hmm," murmured James thoughtfully. "There's gotta be an idea for a prank in there somewhere."

"I'm sure there is," Sirius grinned. "But now we have to get to Potions."

On the way to the dungeons James whispered to Remus, "Could you write something romantic about Sirius?" James smirked with satisfaction as Remus' pale cheeks flushed slightly.

"I-I guess," Remus stated as calmly as he could.

I knew he fancied Sirius. I'm brilliant! James congratulated himself. I know Sirius fancies Remus too, but does Sirius know it yet?