Objection

Chapter 2

A Cunning Plan

It was Seamus Finnigan.

'Seamus?' Hermione asked, surprised. 'Who ripped out your heart with a jagged, rusty spoon?'

'You'll tell me who ripped out your heart with a jagged, rusty spoon afterwards?'

'I promise,' said Hermione, smiling weakly. 'So?'

'Lavender and Ron,' said Seamus, sighing heavily and sitting down in another chair. 'Just seeing them like that ... ugh, it was horrendous. They really sharpened the spoon back there.'

A strange giggle escaped Hermione, almost like a sob.

'Me too,' she admitted. 'I like Ron. I guess you like Lavender then?'

'Oh no, I'm all for Ron,' said Seamus sarcastically. 'Great, more competition. And you're both girls, what chance do I have?'

'Don't,' said Hermione gently. Seamus heaved another sigh.

'It can't get much worse.'

'Oh yes it can,' Hermione told him. 'At least you're not being stalked by Goyle.'

Seamus sniggered slightly.

'Sorry,' he said. 'You never know, Millicent Bulstrode might be after me.' He faked a horrified face.

'No,' said Hermione, almost grinning. 'She's with Crabbe.' That made them both crack up, but the laughing was almost like crying. Suddenly Hermione had an idea.

'Listen, Hagrid strongly advised me against this, because it's cruel, but if we both knew, maybe it would work ... if you're interested, that is.'

'What is it?' asked Seamus, leaning forward. 'Tell me, I want vengeance! I demand vengeance! Mua-hahahahahahaha!'

Hermione gave a strangled sort of laugh.

'No! Well, sort of vengeance. We could - only if you want to, that is - we could pretend to go out to make them jealous. Give it a try? We could maybe go to the dance together, and if we find we're totally incompatible and can't get along at all, we won't do it. So, what do you think?'

'Hmm,' Seamus appeared to be thinking hard. 'We could try. And I think it just might work. So, shall we do this properly?'

He got down on one knee and looked dramatically up at Hermione.

'Hermione, will you marry me?'

'Marry ?'

'No! No,' Seamus burst out laughing. 'I meant, Hermione, will you go to the dance with me?' He pretended to kiss her hand.

'Why, of course, Seamus, I will,' said Hermione, giggling. Then she put on a Parvati voice. 'But we have to make sure our robes are colour coordinated so we won't clash! What colour are you wearing, Seamus? What type of dress and make up are you going to wear?'

Seamus grinned.

'I thought I'd go for pink,' he said, in a high voice. 'Frilly all over and very pale pink. And matching lipstick.'

They both burst out laughing again.

'You're really good at cheering me up, you know,' said Hermione. 'Thanks for going along with it. I was on the verge of inviting Viktor Krum down from Bulgaria.'

'I nearly asked my cousin,' said Seamus, grinning. 'So this was a good idea.'

'I've got to write to Viktor,' Hermione jumped up. 'I'll tell him I found someone to go with. And Hagrid, I told him about my problem too.'

'Ok,' said Seamus. 'Bye babe.'

*

'All right,' said Hermione briskly. 'We've got to act like we're going out if we want to make it obvious to anyone. Stuff like holding hands in public, sitting dead close to each other and me giggling ridiculously at everything you say.'

'Want to practice?' said Seamus slyly, meaning it as a joke.

'We're going to have to,' said Hermione, deadly seriously. 'Out in the grounds, though, the common room's always full.'

So they practiced holding hands, giving each other soppy smiles like Ron and Lavender did (which often reduced them to laughing at each other's expressions of love, which were outrageous), playing footsie under tables and sitting very close, with Seamus' arm casually slung around Hermione.

'You know what we should do,' said Seamus once, when they were practicing playing footsie. 'We should go into a closet for a bit, ruffle up our clothes and come out like we've had a long snogging session.'

'Disgusting boy,' said Hermione, kicking him slightly harder than she would have done. 'Maybe after the dance, that's when we're really going public.'

'Yeah,' said Seamus. 'You know, we should start kissing in the middle of the dance floor. Hey, let's get some practice now!'

He leaned over ostentatiously, his eyes shut and his mouth stuck out in a pout. Hermione poked him.

'If we kiss at all, it'll be on the cheek to begin with,' she told him. 'Here, give me yours.'

They practiced kissing until they were quite comfortable with a quick peck on the lips every so often. Then Hermione remembered she had to finish her Charms essay and Seamus remembered he had to start his.

'You ought to get more organised, you know, Seamus,' Hermione commented. 'Look at your bag! You can't even find your Charms book!'

'Are you saying - you don't love me?' Seamus gave her his funniest lovesick expression, which made her start laughing. She sneaked a glance at Ron, who was looking at them oddly. She turned and gave Seamus another of the funny expressions they had practiced.

'Of course I love you, silly,' said Hermione, her hand on her heart. 'I love you as much as - as - a hole in a sock!'

'What?' Seamus pulled a face at her. 'That's it ?'

'Think about it,' said Hermione. 'If socks didn't have holes in them, we wouldn't be able to put them on!'

'You know what?' said Seamus, when he had stopped sniggering. 'I'm beginning to be grateful that a jagged, rusty spoon wielding maniac ripped out my heart.'

Hermione looked at Ron again, who definitely did not look happy that they were spending so much time together. She just laughed along with Seamus, but in her heart she knew she still wanted to be with Ron.

The next few days before the Christmas Dance went quickly. Seamus was really fun to be with, and he was actually quite clever. One day she commented that she had never thought he actually cared about his lessons. Seamus replied that he'd never thought Hermione had a sense of humour, but being with her for the last few days had proved him wrong.

*

Christmas Day. The day of the dance. Hermione was debating what to wear. She had bought several different sets of dress robes and was trying to decide which to wear.

There was a set of lavender robes that showed off her figure and reached the floor; a gorgeous white set that was floaty and shimmered lots of colours when the light hit it; a set identical to that from fourth year; and a swishy, glamorous crimson set that she had worn to a fifth year ball.

Eventually Hermione chose the white dress. Her mother had bought the white fabric, Hermione had enchanted it to shimmer different colours and a Muggle tailor had sewn it. A matching white bag, shoes and shawl were with it. It had small, slightly puffed sleeves, a low, square neck and was tight until the waist, where it floated out.

Now the hair. Hermione put in some Muggle hair product to make it less bushy; now it fell down past her shoulders in soft curls. She wore no make up, just put some diluted Bubotuber pus on her spots, which got rid of them effectively. She thought she looked pretty, for once.

Hermione went down to the common room, only to get stared at as much as she had been in fourth year. Seamus came up in dark blue robes that matched his eyes and they waited together. Ron was glaring at them and Lavender was glaring at Ron because of this. Hermione tried not to look at Ron, corny as it sounded, her heart still felt sore.

Lavender and Parvati looked quite pretty, Hermione thought. Lavender was in pale pink and Parvati was in pale blue. They, Hermione noticed, had smothered their faces with make up. Hermione made a mental note to point out that Lavender's robes were very frilly and her mouth was coated in a thick layer of pink lipstick.

Hermione went up to say hi to Harry and Ginny first. Harry was in emerald green again, and Ginny was in a gorgeous sunny yellow that looked perfect with her hair.

'Hi Harry, Ginny,' said Hermione. 'Wow, you look great!'

'Thanks,' said Ginny, looking admiringly at Hermione. 'So do you. Even better than fourth year!'

'I thought I looked ok,' said Hermione modestly. Seamus laughed.

'She looks prettier than Fleur,' he said proudly, causing Hermione to blush bright red. 'You're beautiful, doll. Shall we go and say hi to Ron and Lavender?' He winked.

'Oh, yes,' said Hermione. 'Bye, you two!'

They walked over to where Ron and Lavender were. Ron was also in dark blue. Hermione whispered 'frilly pale pink with lipstick' to Seamus and he sniggered.

'Hi Ron,' said Hermione. 'Hi Lavender. You look nice.'

'Thanks,' said Lavender stiffly, who was glaring enviously at Hermione. She neglected to return the compliment.

'Aren't you going to talk to us at all?' said Seamus. 'Or are you speechless at our good looks?'

'Shut up,' Ron growled. He turned and told Lavender how pretty she looked, which stopped her scowling.

'Oh, Ronnie, thank you,' she squealed. 'And you look so big and strong and manly and handsome -' Hermione felt like they were stamping on her heart.

'What can I say, 'Mione?' said Seamus, using her nickname and making her blush again. 'I can't. You're the most beautiful girl in the world.'

'Oh,' Hermione faltered, wondering what she should say back. 'Well, I fully return that to you, except in the guy way.'

Laughing, they walked off, Seamus' arm around her shoulders. Every girl they said hi to seemed to wish they looked like Hermione and lots of boys were glaring at Seamus.

'You don't think anyone's going to try and kill me because I'm going with you?' he whispered nervously.

'No, silly,' Hermione replied, kissing his cheek. 'If they'd wanted to go with me, they would've asked me. And they didn't. So it's their fault.

'Their loss, more like,' said Seamus. To her exasperation, Hermione blushed again.

'Stop making me blush!' she said. 'You either make me blush or make me laugh or make me kiss you, what do you want me to do now?'

'A kiss wouldn't be half bad,' he said, and leaned in.

'No,' said Hermione, dodging him. 'Not yet.'

They left the common room arm in arm. Hermione noticed that Goyle was among the boys who were glaring at them and told Seamus maybe he would get beaten up.

'At least we'll die together,' said Seamus, pretending to be mournful.

'You're making me blush again!'