Care

"Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"What should we have to talk about, Lupin?" Severus snapped. "I'm busy."

Well, he wasn't particularly busy, he just didn't want to be ... bothered.

"Can I come in?"

"No. Come back later. I'm really - "

"It can't wait."

Severus frowned. It couldn't be Wolfsbane Potion now, could it? Oh dear. Great. He stepped aside and held his door open, not very wide, so that Lupin had to squeeze through.

"If this is about Black, I didn't - "

"No, it's not," Lupin mumbled. He took a few steps inside and then froze. "What is this? What happened to your room? It's a mess!"

Severus made a face. Well, mess was an understatement. Mayhem, more like it. There were ... things everywhere. Books, clothes, flasks, herbs and other potion ingredients - even papers - were all over the floor and the furniture.

"Sorry, I can't offer you a seat," Severus said icily, ignoring Lupin's stating of the obvious.

"Now, will you be so good and tell me why you are getting on my nerves?"

But instead of making his urgent request, Lupin stayed silent. He scanned the room with a thoughtful expression on his face and suddenly fixed his eyes on something. Severus tried to follow his gaze, but Lupin had already turned away from whatever it was. This was getting more and more irritating.

"Haven't you seen an untidy room in your life, Wolfboy?" Lupin twitched and Severus realised that he'd almost yelled.

"Not with you in it," Lupin replied.

Severus lowered his voice. "What - do - you - want?"

"Ahm ... that last Wolfsbane Potion you made ... its effect had ... worn out too soon."

Severus stared at him. "What?"

"I said - "

"I heard what you said - Lupin." If he'd believed him for a second, he might have lectured Lupin that this wasn't possible, that he'd checked the potion before he'd handed it out. But it didn't need a spy to realise that he was so obviously lying.

"Was that all?" he asked instead.

"Yes. Sorry for disturbing you." And with that Lupin quickly left his quarters.

Severus was baffled. First Lupin sounded like he really had something important to talk about, and then he left because he didn't clean up his room?

***

Two days later, Severus decided he'd had enough. He'd kept an eye on Lupin since he'd shown up in his quarters, and Lupin had just pulled another act, slipping out of the staff room in such an intentionally secretive way that it was hard not to notice - and Severus decided to follow. That blasted wolf ... to be honest, he himself had probably behaved in exactly the same way towards other people before. You didn't need to tell everything to everyone. But that was himself, he had the right to preserve an aura of mystery. That didn't mean that others could do that to him. The logic-loving part of his personality protested. He shut it up.

Lupin was heading for the library, which was - with dinner ready to be served - deserted at this time. He walked past the Easy Charms section right up to the Restricted Area. He hexed the lock open and aimed directly for one specific book before he collapsed heavily on a chair.

Severus sneaked up from behind. "You know, you could be dead now, Wolfboy."

Lupin jumped from his seat. "What the hell! What are you doing here? God."

"I think that's not the right question. What are you doing here?"

"I think that's none of your business," Lupin replied briskly.

"You bet it is. Because I am a teacher and you're way out of bounds with a) lying to me and" - he looked at the book pointedly — "b) meddling in the Dark Arts without c) permission from Dumbledore. Please, correct me if I'm wrong."

"That's Professor Dumbledore, Professor Snape." A cheeky smile was beginning to show on Lupin's face.

Severus shot him a glare that made him drop it immediately. "Tell me - right now - what this is all about or you're going to be in really bad trouble. I mean it"

"You know, Severus. I'm rather tired of your threats. You got me sacked once. Sorry, but there's not much left you can take from me."

"Spare me the whining. No pity here."

"I know," Lupin said dryly. But his eyes were blazing defiance. In quite a melodramatic way, Severus added to himself. "Can I read my book now?"

Severus clenched his teeth. "Give me that book," he growled.

Lupin seemed to weigh up the possibilities. Finally he flopped down on his chair again, letting out a lengthy sigh. "Alright. I'm not making any progress anyhow. So I'm going to need your help after all."

Severus sneered and Lupin smirked. "Yeah, take your time to rub it into my face."

"Just go on. My patience is limited."

"I have a friend in London. Well, he's more of a childhood acquaintance. He's a werewolf too and - I owe him. He's just been diagnosed with ... Ever heard of the Mindless Moon Syndrome?"

Severus nodded. It was a disease that could be found with maybe one out of a hundred werewolves, and was also known as Progressing Lycanthropy. It started comparably harmless, if you could call slightly-more-painful-and-longer-than-usual transformations harmless. But the respective werewolf would be forced to transform for an increasing amount of time with each full moon, until finally - the human side would entirely cease to exist. No potion would do any good here. He sighed. More melodrama.

"That's why you wanted to talk to me last week?"

"So you know about it. You also know about the blocking charm? And about the rite that's essential to effectively perform it?

"Of course I know."

"Says a lot about the Ministry's approach to the issue of Werewolf Welfare, doesn't it? But luckily there are people - "

"Stop babbling alright? So Albus sent you to me."

"It's only five days to the full moon. The timing is just as essential - "

"Why didn't you tell me then? You lost precious two days, idiot. And don't say you were afraid to ask. Everybody keeps asking me about the Dark Arts."

Lupin dropped his gaze and mumbled something under his breath.

"I can't hear a bloody thing, Lupin. And what's this - looking bashful?"

Lupin brought his face up again. "I wanted to ask for your help. Although I knew that you'd probably have enough on your mind already. But I didn't realise under how much pressure you were until I saw ... I could smell the blood on one of your robes. So I decided I could handle myself. I didn't want to cause you any more trouble."

Severus was stunned. "You say a friend of yours needs help and you care about how ... "

"Do you remember the night before our last day at Hogwarts?" Lupin asked softly.

Severus cleared his throat. "Of course I do. I got my mark that night."

"Yeah, I figured that out a few days later. Funny, even with all the rivalry and hatred between all of us, I hadn't thought about you becoming a Death Eater. Although I had it right in front of me."

Severus couldn't say a word. He also couldn't decide whether he wanted Lupin to shut up or to go on.

"Of course Sirius wasn't so doubtful about you. But anyway. I think you'd probably saved my life the week before," Lupin said plainly, as if that explained everything. He'd spoken in his usual low and steady voice, giving the impression that everything was just the way it was supposed to be. And Lupin never used fake emotions to manipulate people. Severus remembered that quite well.

He stood motionless for another minute or two until Lupin got seemingly uncomfortable.

"We have five days left. I can cancel some of my classes and if we keep at it for the rest of the time - maybe your friend won't get wrecked up ... much."

Lupin opened his mouth, but Severus cut him short by turning his back on him.

"Tomorrow morning, five o'clock - sharp," he said over his shoulder and strode out of the library. He would have to look up a bunch of charms and spells before tomorrow. And he had to clean up his room.

***

Lupin's head dropped on the table with a bang. "Why isn't it working?"

"Because you did it wrong."

"Oh, that's constructive criticism."

"I thought the question was rhetorical."

Lupin pulled himself up with much effort and started rambling. "I never felt more stupid in my life. I was a bloody Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher and now I can't do a simple charm like that!"

"It's not a simple charm and it's not defence against - it is Dark Arts. You just feel uneasy to perform it, that's all. I think we should call it a night."

"But it's full moon tomorrow," he wailed and Severus rolled his eyes. "I have to leave - "

"Stop whining!" he snapped. "You know how to do it. If we go on practicing, you won't get any better. In fact, you will get worse - I will get worse!" He sighed. "You'll be alright. You did fine."

Lupin laughed out loud. "Was that teacherly pep talk? I can't believe you said that. You should practice on this."

"Oh - I can be encouraging if I want to. That's basic teacher-student psychology."

Lupin came a few steps closer. "Really? Except you never use it on your students."

Severus also stepped forward. "And ... constructive."

"You don't say."

"And ... err."

"Why are we standing this ... close?"

"You did that!"

"I didn't do anything. You keep sliding up to me."

"So ... move over then."

"For what?"

"I don't know!"

Severus realised that he was somehow panting and that his face probably was as red as ... well, red! He could feel the heat rising up through his body. And Lupin didn't look much better.

"Funny. It's probably ... " Lupin said, trying to catch his breath. "I mean, we've had a rather intense training going on. And I ... didn't work ... I mean, I quite enjoyed ... I wasn't ... that close ... with someone, for a very ... " he stopped dead and Severus couldn't bring himself to speak either. And still they kept standing in this very compromising position, neither of them moving.

"I know ... what you mean." Severus finally managed. His mouth went all dry. It really had been quite a while since someone had ... cared. If that was what could fill in all the blanks in Lupin's stuttering.

Lupin breathed in deeply. "I think I'd better go now."

"That's good."

Lupin didn't move an inch.

"Just to make sure. Do you feel uncomfortable?"

Severus swallowed and tried to get his brain to work. This was Remus Lupin, for God's sake! He loathed him, he always had. He was Severus Snape - at least he thought he was. The only logical answer was ...

"No."

Lupin blinked.

"Actually - I would feel uncomfortable if you go."

There were only a few seconds of silence before Lupin spoke, but they stretched out dramatically.

"Then ... I'll stay."

Lupin looked at him calmly and Severus couldn't get his eyes off his face. For once he was completely and totally lost for words - so he did the next thing that came to his mind.

It was a long and deep kiss. And it felt like the best thing he'd done in years.

When he drew back, Lupin was breathing heavily.

"Don't ... stop that."

It took Severus some time to understand the full implication of what he had done - and of what Lupin just said.

"Are we about to have ..."

Lupin answered with a mischievous grin.

"Do we have to become friends afterwards?" Severus said with a smile of his own.

"You wish."

"If Black ever gets to know about this, I'm really a dead man."

"I don't think that anyone has to know. It's only one night." Lupin's smile broadened. "One night of passionate love, of course." He grabbed Severus' neck with one hand and pulled him down. Severus gasped and then laughed despite himself - just before Lupin shut him up with another deep kiss.

***

When Severus woke up the next morning, Remus was already on his way to London. He'd had to catch the early train, Severus remembered. He got up quickly and was immediately attacked by a flying piece of parchment. After several tries of dislodging it from his face, he let out an angry growl and groped around for his wand. All of a sudden the thing decided to grow little flappy wings and hover over his head. He caught it roughly and rubbed his cheek.

He read the note several times before he stored it away safely. Then he got himself dressed and decided to have breakfast. Not just because that's what you did in the morning. He was positively hungry.

***

McGonagall approached him directly after he entered the Great Hall.

"Good morning, Severus. I've got some news that might be of interest for you." She looked at him expectantly. So he did her the favour of playing along.

"In what would I be interested, Minerva?"

"I have a new student in my Animagus training course. Guess who."

"I don't have to guess," he sniffed. "It was only a matter of time till Granger took the opportunity to conquer yet another magical domain that might prove useful in her undying perseverance to become nerd of the year."

"I know it was pretty obvious - " McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "Severus? Are you humming?" she asked suspiciously. "You didn't get one of my students expelled or ... took a hundred points, did you?"

"Nope."

"Nope? What's that - slang? And stop that ... noise. Everyone's staring at us already."

"I'm sorry I'm drawing that much attention to you, Minerva. Of course, I didn't do anything of the aforementioned suggestions. If you will excuse me now. I have to go on - humming."

the end