Dialogues

...WITH BIRDS AND LETTERS

Harry was pulled out of his reverie by the high-speed arrival of a number of owls. First, his Hedwig, a beautiful snowy white, swooped gracefully through the window into his bedroom, followed shortly by the two owls belonging to the Weasley family - the ancient Errol and the tiny, hyperactive Pig - and finally several others that Harry didn't recognise. For a moment, looking at Pig he was reminded of Sirius (he was the one who had suggested Ron keep him), but Harry cut his brooding short. It was his birthday and although Sirius was no longer around to celebrate it with him he wouldn't have wanted Harry to mope around. That more than anything had pulled him through the last few weeks - the knowledge that Sirius wouldn't want Harry to be unhappy. Well, that and his early morning runs with Tonks - that girl was a riot...

*****

Every morning at six-fifteen Harry would emerge from the house to find Tonks sat down on the garden wall waiting impatiently. Somehow she would always find something to say straight off the bat to make him laugh. Then they would go jogging for half an hour or so. It was easily apparent to Harry that he was no match for his auror friend - he would find it difficult to string two words together as he huffed along while she, without breaking a stride, would talk and talk and talk, and it almost always had something to do with her school days, and always made him laugh, which made running even harder. By the time they would finish back outside number four Harry would collapse onto the front lawn and Tonks would stand above him and bitch happily about how unfit the boy-who-lived was, and how he was a disgrace to the name of wizard! While he got his breath back he would try and tell her something not too revealing about his time at Hogwarts, although there were certain obvious topics that he purposefully avoided. Tonks for her part didn't feel the need to pry.

Slowly his general fitness had improved. Between running with Tonks in the early morning, training with Dudley, spending two hours preparing with the Headmaster in the afternoon, and almost every other waking moment reading and studying, Harry's summer seemed to be flying by, although he was well and truly knackered each night when he fell asleep.

*****

Harry handed out the remainder of his owl treats to the assorted birds. "Don't worry Hedwig, I'll make sure to get some more somehow," he said to his faithful owl.

'Looks like I've got quite a few presents this year,' he said to himself. He was suddenly reminded of Dudley's rant in the summer just before his Hogwarts letters had arrived - Thirty-six! But last year I had thirty-seven! Well, Harry didn't have that many, but then he wasn't Dudley was he?

Just then a couple more owls came through the window, carrying a parcel between them. Harry jumped out of surprise, first at the fact there were more owls, and second at what they were carrying between them: a long broom shaped parcel. He immediately grabbed it and tore at the wrapping. Onto his bed fell his Firebolt. "Bloody hell!" he breathed. To be honest, he knew what it was before he unwrapped it, it was just that some small part of him wished that it were a different broom. The Firebolt had been a present from Sirius and he would never forgive himself if he damaged it or broke it. Pushing that thought from his mind, and with it any lingering emotions of guilt surrounding his godfather's death for the moment at least - 'Sirius would want me to fly it, that's why he bought it for me!' - Harry opened the envelope that had come with it:

Dear Mr Potter,

Happy 16^th birthday. This was left behind in the dungeons when you left for the summer. I felt that you would feel much better if this was returned to you.

Also, I would like to inform you that the lifetime ban Dolores Umbridge gave you last year has been revoked along with all those ridiculous Educational Decrees, so you will be allowed to play Quidditch this coming year. I'm sure Miss Weasley would be more than happy to make way for your return, provided that you promise to ensure that the Quidditch Cup is to remain in my office!

We will discuss the issue of captaincy once you return to school.

Yours sincerely,

Professor McGonagall

His ban was lifted! As far as Harry was concerned that was the second best birthday present he had ever received, the first being the Firebolt itself. But would Ginny give up her place as seeker on the team? There was only one answer to that really when he thought about it: of course she bloody would! With his place back on the team virtually assured it was clear from her letter that Professor McGonagall was considering him as possible captain material. All Harry wanted to do though was fly around looking for the snitch - he didn't want the added burden of being captain as well. If she offered him the role, he quickly decided he would have to turn his head of house down.

Next, he took two letters from Errol. At first he was wondering why the Weasley family owl had carried no presents, but his question was answered soon enough. The first letter was from Mrs Weasley:

Dear Harry,

Happy Birthday!

I wish I could say that to you in person, but Professor Dumbledore insists that you are to remain with those terrible muggles for a short while longer. At least that's what he has told me.

We are all desperate to see you, or to even hear from you, because for some reason you, Harry James Potter, have not written one single letter all summer. We've been so worried Harry. Why won't you write to us? It hurts when you lose a loved one - I should know, almost my entire family were killed during you-know-who's first rise - but it won't do you any good to distance yourself, so you better send Errol back with a reply or else!

I wish you were right here in front of me now, but I wouldn't know whether to hug you or throttle you. It pains me to tell you this, but it must be said; by distancing yourself away from us you're hurting us Harry, and more importantly, you're hurting yourself.

Don't you dare try to be noble and think that by pushing us away you are protecting us because you're not and deep down you know that too. Accept it Harry, we can't let you go now, so please don't push us away. You've been a part of this family ever since we helped you onto Platform 9 & ¾. You and Ron love each other like you were brothers, and you have always stood by him no matter what, even though I sometimes wonder whether he deserves it. I know he can get extremely jealous of your fame and fortune sometimes Harry, but that's just the way Ron is sometimes, and the fact that you're so modest - perhaps even ashamed - about your wealth and celebrity just makes me love you more.

That's right. Arthur and I love you like you were our own son. You are our son. Everything you have done for this family proves that you love us as much as we love you, and it's not just referring to your friendship with Ron. What you did for Fred and George - giving them your TriWizard Cup winnings - was incredibly generous. Idiotic, but generous. If I had found out several months ago what you did I could have slapped you until you were silly, but seeing how happy they are in what they are doing makes me so happy, and because I know that it is all done to your willingness to give I...Well, there really are no words to describe what I feel about it except, Thank you.

Oh dear I seem to be rambling, but I have to quickly write this. Because of you I haven't lost Ginny or Arthur. There is nothing that I could possibly say or do that will ever describe to you how much this means to me. My husband and daughter are alive because you saved them Harry. Yes you did.

The very least I can say is that I will never let you get away from us now Harry. Never.

I love you,

Molly

PS. If you're wondering why Errol hasn't carried any presents then don't worry, I just felt that he's too old to do so much. Fred and George have kindly allowed me to place some presents among theirs, and their owl - they can afford one of their own now - will have brought them.

Tears were forming in Harry's eyes as he read, but he determinedly held them back. He had not really known he meant so much to Mrs Weasley. It made his heart soar to know that there were people out in the world who loved him. How could he distance himself from the Weasleys now knowing that? He couldn't.

He decided he wouldn't be able to catch Pig, not in his current teary-eyed state anyway, so he moved onto the unfamiliar owls. Professor Lupin had bought him an advanced textbook which would help him with his studies; one which, according to the accompanying letter, Professor Dumbledore had assured Remus (he insisted that Harry call him that or Moony now that he wasn't his teacher) Harry didn't own. Remus didn't mention Sirius at all in his letter, which was no surprise really.

Hagrid had sent his usual collection of uneatables. It was the thought that count, but Harry was going to have to dispose of them somehow without feeling too guilty about it.

He then decided to calm Pig down as the little owl was making a racket and causing all the other Owls to become restless. Hedwig in particular seemed disgusted with Pig's behaviour. Ron's gift was a big box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, with a short letter attached. Harry's best friend wasn't exactly the most literate of people:

Happy Birthday Mate,

I'm sorry about the present but I couldn't think of anything else. Anyway, I hope you're holding up and that you'll write back this time!! I should see you pretty soon.

Ron

Harry chuckled at the simplicity of it - his best friend had never been that hard to work out. The first line meant one of two things: either the present had been gotten last minute; or Ron couldn't afford anything else and didn't want to admit it. It was probably both in fact. Harry didn't care though; he loved Bertie Botts Beans. Second line: Ron was clearly worried and concerned but didn't know what to say. Third line: He would be leaving Privet Drive soon! It was truly a short note that, in its way, said so much.

Hermione's present also came with Pig for some reason. She had gotten him a wand holster of all things. "Wow, Hermione," was all he could say as he removed it from its box. He held the black leather in his hands reverently, inspecting it from all angles. "Bloody fantastic!" he muttered, and then moved onto her letter.

Happy Birthday Harry.

I'm sure you'll like the present. When I saw it in Hogsmeade last year I knew it was perfect for you.

Why haven't you responded to any of my letters? I know what happened was terrible, but you shouldn't blame yourself. Please write. You haven't written to Ron either, have you? You really are being stupid. I know Sirius meant a lot to you, but that's no excuse to close yourself off from us.

You're going to have to write to tell me your OWL results if I don't get to see you soon anyway. They should have arrived by now. You don't think there has been any problems with them do you? I can't wait to see what I got. I'm so nervous that I can barely stop thinking about them.

Enjoy the present. I'm sure I will see you soon.

Love,

Hermione

Like chalk and cheese. Whereas Ron was afraid to say too much, Hermione had no qualms in tackling the issue head on. It was good to know that some things had yet to change.

As it turned out, one of the unfamiliar owls belonged to Fred and George, the tyrant twins of the Weasley family, but it came as no surprise considering Mrs Weasley had told him in her letter about it. Their gift to him turned out to be a real shock:

Our Esteemed Investor and Fellow Prankster,

Happy Birthday. We can't believe that you're sixteen already. We think it's time for you to get a full pint of Firewhisky into you. After all, that's what we did when we turned sixteen. Or was it fifteen? Aaah, those where the days!

Anyway, instead of giving you a box of Bertie Beans (Ron beat us to it!) or even some of our products to test on that fat cousin of yours (although we were sorely tempted until mum threatened us!) we have decided to give you something spectacular to show you our gratitude for your timely investment. You are now the third partner in Weasley's Wizard Wheezes!!

As a partner you are entitled to an equal share of the profits, as well as a say in how things are run. Of course, we're sure that you'd much rather spend your time snogging the many, many girls vying for your attention at school, so you can just leave things in our very capable hands!! Just so you know, the shop in Diagon Alley is almost ready. We'll be open just before the mad rush before school starts. Trust us and you won't have to do a thing and still be making money. Brilliant eh?

By the way, our dear little sister has shown interest in helping us use Hogwarts as a testing ground for our products, so you can help her. Now that Hogwarts will be bereft without us, you and Ginny better start making up for the loss of our pranking brilliance. We're sure she won't mind you spending some time alone with her at any rate!

Fred & George

PS Say hello to Gem, our owl, short for Gemini of course. Isn't she cute?

Wow, what a letter! Harry had half a mind to refuse the twins of their offer, but then realised that if they accepted 1000 galleons from him, what gave him the right to refuse a gift of a similar magnitude from them? Harry supposed the twins knew what they were doing with their money, so he decided he wouldn't get involved. The idea of Harry continuing on the Fred and George legacy in school was a great idea though. He'd have to have a chat with Ginny about it. It would at least take his mind off other things once in a while. Harry was sure Padfoot would approve.

Gem was surprisingly well behaved, unlike her owners. In fact, she was almost as disciplined as Hedwig, and more than capable of carrying several packages at once. Besides the twins' letter, she had also carried Mrs Weasley's usual collection of cakes and pies. Of course she wasn't to know that the Dursleys weren't starving him anymore!

Gem had also delivered Ginny's present. Unwrapping it he found it was a photo album. Embossed on the front of the brown leather, in gold ink, were the two initials H.P. Turning the pages his eyes feasted upon photo after photo - wizarding ones of course: Ron and Hermione in the Gryffindor Common Room, his sixth year dorm-mates sat around the fireplace, one of the entire Weasley family (minus Percy), basically pictures of all his friends in various situations and number. Some of the photos had him in them, but most didn't. There was even one of the entire DA, minus himself of course. It dawned on Harry that Ginny must have been working on his present for quite some time, and she must have gone to considerable effort too. It was incredibly thoughtful. No, it was beyond that. He turned over to a photo of Ginny sat by herself in one of the sofas around the Gryffindor common room, and as she waved to him from the confines of the little piece of wizarding magic he said quietly, "Thank you Ginny. Thank you so much."

Harry's eyes widened in shock when he began to read the letter she had written though:

Harry,

You really are a selfish, ignorant bastard!

Now don't get angry with me because you are a bastard, and you know it too. How could you not even write one letter to us? Just one for Merlin's sake! Do you have any idea what mum is going through right now? She's so worried about you. We all are, and all you've done is ignore us. Have you even read any of our letters?

Anyway, Happy Birthday. I hope you like the present. I've grown up with loving parents to take care of me, and six brothers to annoy me, so I sometimes take it for granted that I have a family. This album is to always remind you that you have a family too, and that it's all of us!

I don't know whether I should write this, but I don't think I have the guts to tell you in person. You are one hell of a wizard Harry Potter. I got full marks on my 4^th year DADA test!! And it's all because of you and what you taught me in the DA. It's certainly not down to that bitch Umbridge!

I've seen what you can do, and because of it I'm not as scared as I would be otherwise. I know what Tom wants, and how strong he is (thanks to my first year), and I know that you will always be stronger. He might have it in for you, but you can stop him if you have to face him again. I know it.

Sorry about that. I had to write it. I know you're hurting. I know you feel guilty and blame yourself for what happened to Sirius. I know because I've been there and let me tell you it is not a nice place! I won't tell you to snap out of it, or to stop being so stupid because I know that it won't do any good, for you or me. I won't hit you or curse you either even though I'm sorely tempted to do so! Instead, I'll wait. You'll talk when you're ready, and if you want to talk to me I'll be waiting. After all, I've become an expert at waiting.

Please write something!

Love

Ginny

PS Have Fred and George told you about my idea. If you're up for it we're going to cause some real mayhem at school this year.

After reading the letter, Harry wasn't sure what to think. At first he was furious that she had the gall to insult him, but then perhaps she had a point, he reasoned to himself. As he continued to read his emotions changed as quickly as hers appeared to. He was amazed and a little proud that she'd gotten full marks in her DADA exam, although he was too modest to agree that it was all down to him. But it was her sentiments over Voldemort (or Tom as she called him) that struck him the most. She was so sure that if he faced Riddle again that he would win! Hardly anyone had ever shown so much blind faith in him before. It just made him more determined to succeed.

All in all it had been a good start to Harry's birthday; a nice little collection of presents and letters, although a lot of the latter showed that quite a few people were annoyed with him. True, he hadn't responded to any of their letters, which in fact all lay unopened on his desk, but he simply needed a little bit of time and space to reflect alone. Tonks had brought up his lack of communication with his friends during one of their morning runs and he'd told her exactly that. Of course, the fact that he didn't seem to have the time to respond to their letters might have played a role too. Obviously, his friends were clearly of the opinion that time and space was the last thing he needed!

Still, Harry wasn't sure whether he was ready to talk to someone or not. Sure, he and Tonks had skirted the issue a couple of times, but on each occasion they had generally relapsed into an awkward silence moments after broaching the subject of his godfather and the events at the ministry - a clear sign that neither were fully prepared to lance that particular boil yet. Thinking about Sirius now though, Harry thought that perhaps the guilt had lessened a little; he was still largely at fault in his mind, but so was Dumbledore, so was Riddle and Bellatrix, and so was Sirius himself.

Perhaps he was ready to talk it over with someone, but it would have to be someone who understood what he was going through. Who though? Dumbledore? Ron and Hermione? Ginny had offered to listen to him when she was ready hadn't she? It had to be someone, and yet he still wasn't sure he wanted to talk to anyone. It was all so confusing. He didn't want to confront his guilt; he just wanted it to go away, but how could his emotional scars heal if he didn't confront them? They wouldn't.

Harry was getting a headache now. His mind was whirling with the almost limitless amount of problems he was facing, not even counting the small matter of a Prophecy. But before he could come to any conclusion, another bird came soaring gracefully through his open window.

It was a Phoenix. The atmosphere in the room lightened considerably just with its calm soothing presence. "Fawkes?" Harry whispered loudly, but even as he said it he somehow knew this wasn't Dumbledore's companion. This bird was a little bigger than Fawkes; the golden beak was a little straighter, the red and gold plumage a little different in pattern Harry surmised as the proud bird perched itself on his bedpost.

The unknown Phoenix eyed him warily for a moment as if it was checking to make sure that Harry was worthy of being in its presence, before gracefully swooping down the short distance onto the young man's lap and shrilling a short note or two of Phoenix song.

Harry's heart immediately soared, confidence and courage coursing through his veins and arteries, contentment and power weaving its magical way into his very soul. He had heard the Phoenix song of Fawkes, and this was exactly the same - it was more intoxicating, more influential than anything he had ever felt in his life. All doubt and worry, all negative emotion and thoughts were swept aside on a tide of peaceful, passive calm. It was safe to say that Harry's headache was long forgotten.

It was as Harry began to softly stroke the plumage on the Phoenix's back that he noticed that the bird was carrying a little package in one of its claws. "For me?" Harry asked, not even doubting that the bird could understand him. The Phoenix shrilled in response, Harry once again feeling the intense waves of serenity and peaceful power pulsing through him. He grasped the little package with his free hand. It turned out to be a short note:

Happy Birthday Harry Potter. Have you said hello to Kesick? If you are reading this note then he has decided that you are worthy of his attention. This is a great honour that only a select few have been granted. Now, just gently grasp his tail-feathers and he will bring you to me. I have waited long to speak with you.

It wasn't signed, but to Harry that didn't matter. How could he consider the author of the note a threat when it came via such a bird? He had no doubt that the person he was about to meet was going to pose no threat to him. "Hello Kesick," he said, nodding politely to the Phoenix.

Kesick shrilled once more. This time, although the feelings the Phoenix song engendered were no less powerful, Harry also felt more focused, as if the clouds in his mind were blown lightly away and he knew clearly what he was to do.

"Could you wait for a few moments Kesick?" Harry asked respectfully. "I have to send these owls on their way."

In response the Phoenix lifted off and swept over once more onto the bedpost. The bird was making it clear that it was indeed willing to wait until Harry was ready.

Harry quickly sent all the birds out into the night sky, but before he did he quickly grabbed a spare piece of parchment:

Mrs Weasley,

Thank you all for the presents. Tell everyone that I WILL write soon! Later today in fact.

Harry

He gave the note to Errol and ushered all the owls out of the window. He turned to Kesick. "Right. Is there anything I need to bring with me?"

The Phoenix merely swept over to Harry and offered its tail-feathers for Harry to hold onto. Just as he was about to do so he was distracted by a soft "hoot hoot" from behind. He turned around to the source of the noise, and saw Hedwig staring intently at him from the top of her cage. Understanding immediately, Harry said to Kesick, "I think Hedwig wants to come too. Can she?" he asked.

Once again, the beautiful bird gazed intently for a moment or too, this time at Harry's snowy owl. Kesick then sang a little note of Phoenix song. Somehow Harry knew what the bird was saying - that Hedwig was more than welcome to come along and that Harry would have to grasp firmly onto his owl with his free hand.

"Come on then girl," he said to his faithful friend, who flew gently into the grasp of his left hand. He then clasped onto the tail-feathers of Kesick with his right.

He was immediately surrounded in a ball of fire, but all he felt was a powerful sense of safety and love. In the blink of an eye Harry found himself standing on a darkened stone floor.