Four Letter Words

Love.

Such a simple word. Only four letters, two vowels and two consonants. Love.

Love, they say, is all-encompassing.

Love consumes you. Love is an emotion, and therefore love makes you feel. Loves makes you want, makes you need, makes you happy.

But love also makes you sad. Love can break you and wear you down. Love can make you tired and weak.

Love can make you hate.

Hate.

Another simple word. Again, only four letters. Again, only two vowels and two consonants. Hate.

Hate is also all-encompassing. Hate is also an emotion and hate also makes you feel. Hate makes you angry, makes you bitter. Hate is the opposite of love.

Hate is, in some ways, more powerful than love. Hate leads to revenge and fuels vendettas. Hate never lets go.

Hate can lead to loss.

Loss.

Yet another four-letter word.

Another powerful feeling, another word that means pain. Loss means suffering and sadness. Loss means that something is gone that can never be replaced.

Loss is always with you. Loss, like hate, never lets you go.

Three four-letter words: love, hate, loss.

Three words that are tied inexplicably together.

Three words.

Harry has experienced all three of these words. He's loved, he's hated, and he's lost.

Love and hate. Two sides of the same coin. They're easy. You learn to deal with them. You love this person but you hate that one. Love and hate become habits. They become something that happens without thought.

But loss?

Loss is tragic. You don't forget loss.

Harry hasn't forgotten. His parents. Sirius.

How do you forget loss? How do you overcome it, make sense of it?

How do you survive?

Harry thinks about love. He thinks about hate. They're easy. Feelings. Feelings are easier to handle than loss.

Loss doesn't become habit; loss becomes a weight that presses you down.

Loss is something you can't forget. You see loss in your every waking moment and in your every dream at night.

Sirius, falling. Through the veil, in a graceful arc. Disappearing. Gone.

Forever.

Love and hate are easy, Harry's decided. They let you live.

Loss grips you and doesn't let go. Loss makes you forget how to move on. Loss consumes you.

Loss is pain.

Love leads to loss. You love someone, you lose them. Harry wishes hate was the same way. Harry sees Malfoy sneering at him, Snape scowling, and Bellatrix. Bellatrix dueling Sirius, and Sirius falling.

Gone.

In the end, the hate that Harry feels revolves around one person. Kill Voldemort and Harry's hate will stop.

But love ... love is more complex. You're told you need love. But love leads only to loss.

And loss is all-consuming.

"It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all," goes the old saying.

But is it?

Harry figures that whoever said that must not have ever experienced loss.

Love is easy, Harry thinks. It's just something you do. It's simple, and can therefore disappear. Like Sirius falling through the veil. Gone.

You can live without love, because love leads to loss.

If you don't love, you can't lose. And Harry has lost enough in his short few years to last an eternity.