Immutable Feelings

Chapter 1 - Returning to Hogwarts

Christmas break had ended for the Hogwarts students and the train back to school was crowded with students. Some of them were excited to be heading back; others dreaded going back to doing schoolwork. And for some, it was bittersweet because it was nearing the end of their time at Hogwarts. This last group included Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

Hermione searched the cars of the Hogwarts Express, looking for her two best friends, Ron and Harry. Usually they managed to find each other before boarding the train at the station, but she had not seen them at all. After a last look through the crowd she'd had to give and board the train alone or risk missing it.

She sighed in exasperation, after checking several cars with no success and having an unpleasant run in with some bothersome young Slytherins. Hermione frowned slightly to herself, hoping that something wasn't wrong, or that Ron and Harry hadn't gotten themselves left behind somehow, like the year Dobby had prevented them from getting on the train.

As she turned around to go check the next car, Hermione finally found one of her friends, as she happened to knock into Ron who standing nearby chatting with a group of Gryffindor girls.

"Ouch, are you blind? Look where you're going!" he grumbled, his hand flying to his shoulder. Ron turned around and smiled awkwardly and ruefully when he noticed it was Hermione that he was directing his complaints at.

For a while he continued to rub his shoulder where she had bumped into him.

"Um, sorry Ron," she apologized promptly, not wanting his whining to escalate. Ron could be such a baby she reflected. She decided not to be aggravated with him at the moment though, after it had been a while since she'd seen him and Harry.

"It took me forever to find you Ron, and I still haven't found Harry. Where are you guys sitting?"

"Just down there," Ron replied distractedly, gesturing to a compartment a just behind him to the left. He hastily turned around and went back to clumsily flirty with Lavender who was among the group of girls he had been chatting with.

Hermione laughed softly to herself, Ron was certainly no charmer when it came to girls.

"Thanks see you in a bit," she told him, hurrying off to find Harry, sure that he probably hadn't even heard her, or really cared.

She had worried about Harry a lot over break this time. At least for once he hadn't stayed at school or had to go to stay with the Dursleys for Christmas. However, it hadn't been that long since his final battle with Voldemort. Sometimes she could barely believe that he had survived. She had never doubted her friend's skill as a wizard, but Voldemort was powerful and didn't fight fairly. Hermione shook her head as if it would rid her of these somber thoughts. Hermione tried not to think about how strange and awful it would have been without him.

Hermione slid open the door to the train compartment that Ron had pointed out and a reflexive smile spread across her face upon seeing Harry.

He was sitting in the car near a window, gazing out at the snow-covered landscape, looking a little wearier that the last time she had seen him, but wonderful and familiar all the same.

"Harry!" she cried warmly, her face lighting up.

Harry turned away from the window, he had not heard her come in, and her voice had alerted him to her presence making him jump slightly. When his green eyes met hers he beamed back at her. As he stood to greet her, Hermione ran over and hugged him tightly nearly knocking him off his feet and back into his seat. He stiffened at first in surprise but quickly relaxed and returned her hug. Hermione closed her eyes; happy to be hugging her best friend who many had felt would not be able to defeat Voldemort without losing his own life. She was sure that even Harry had not expected to live to adulthood. Hermione noted to herself that Harry had grown even taller over the break and now her head only came up to his shoulder. It also occurred to her that he was now the perfect height for her.

She didn't observe the Ron had come back while she was busy hugging Harry.

"Merlin's beard Hermione! Must you do that? It hasn't been that long since you saw him. Let the poor guy breath," Ron commented in annoyance, plunking down on the seat across from Harry.

Hermione and Harry moved apart. Hermione turned around so that she could see Ron and flashed him an irritated look, her dark eyes flashing. Harry sat back down, deciding to ignore Ron's comment.

"Aww, are you jealous? You can have a hug too, little Ronald," Hermione said in teasing voice.

Ron scowled and blushed slightly. He had his hands in his pocket and shifted around uncomfortably before responding to her teasing question.

"Um, thanks I'm good. I had quite enough hugs from my mum at the station," he replied, not looking at her as he spoke, his face still red.

Hermione laughed and took a seat next to Harry who was flipping through a magazine about Quidditch. She dug through the bag she had brought on the train, full of several heavy volumes, for one of her books. For a few minutes they were all serenely silent, the only noise was the rumble of the train and the soft whisper of the pages of Hermione's book as she turned them. She felt very at peace sitting with her friends on the familiar train ride to Hogwarts.

Hermione sighed and looked up, and noticed that Ron was watching her. She frowned at him quizzically.

Ron returned her gaze.

"You do know they're not giving tests on what we studied over break as soon as we get back, Hermione," Ron remarked obnoxiously.

Hermione who had gone back to her reading looked up from her reading long enough to roll her eyes in exasperation at him.

"Thanks for the useful tip Ronald. Seriously, how many times must I tell you before you get through your thick skull that some people, including me, actually read for fun? And considering you rarely open your books to study even when there is a test I think you're hardly one to be giving advice," she snapped giving him a hard look.

Ron looked at her like a disobedient puppy that had just been caught destroyed a piece of furniture.

"Yeah, well..." Ron feebly began to argue, his resolve rapidly wilting under Hermione's severe glare.

Harry chuckled softly, shaking his head at the all too familiar banter between his two friends.

The candy trolley rolled past the door, and Harry grinned. He jumped up to go get some sweets.

"Either of you want anything?" he asked, turning around at the doorway. Ron shook his head, a sullen look still on his face.

"Thanks, no Harry," Hermione answered, smiling amiably at him.

"Okay, well, just don't kill each other while I'm gone," he added, then took off.

Ron, very clearly not over their minor argument from before, stared out the window and ever so often let out a heavy sigh, clearing trying to draw Hermione's attention to his sulking. At first she ignored him, but Ron clearly wasn't going to give up. Hermione closed her book loudly, marking her place with a writing quill from her bag, and, and then looked over at Ron.

An impish look spread across her features, her dark eyes gleaming with merriment; he frowned at her but looked slightly confused as to what she could be thinking.

"So, I noticed you were charming the ladies out there earlier," she commented offhandedly to him.

Ron's faced turned the same shade as his hair. He clearly hadn't expected that to be what she was going to talk about just then. After to pausing for a few minutes he finally responded.

"Yeah, well I am sorry if I made you jealous Hermione. But things didn't work with us Hermione. We broke up a long time ago, I guess I didn't think it would bother you so much if I decided to move on now," he told her in a tone she found condescending, reaching over and awkwardly patting her knee.

Hermione opened her mouth but nothing came out for a moment. If she had been a cartoon character steam would have been coming out of her ears and nose/

"Didn't work with us...? You arrogant git! That's hardly the truth of it, I broke up with you. We were clearly meant to be friends only. I was hardly envious of you and those girls. I merely broached the topic because I was trying to see which girl you thought would be foolish to have a go at a relationship with," Hermione stated in an affronted tone. She crossed her arms, ignoring the book sitting on her lap which fell to the floor of the train with a loud thump.

Harry came back just as Hermione's book feel. He took his seat quickly, his arms filled with candy of all sorts.

Harry looked back and forth between his friends and got the feeling that he better put an end to this argument, what ever it was about, or his friends would be giving each other the cold shoulder for the most of the term.

"Come on guys, we just got back please don't get into a huge fight before we even get to Hogwarts," Harry interceded, clearly entertained but not wanting the spat to get any worse. He had to admit that he loved listening to Hermione rag on Ron, and he wouldn't have minded finding out what their spat was about.

"She started it," Ron sniffed petulantly, his face scrunched into a pout.

"Honestly Ronald!" Hermione snapped, in no mood for his childish behavior.

"Stop being such a git Ron," Harry added, his green eyes giving Ron a desperate look.

Ron scowled at him. "Honestly Harry, how do you know I don't have a right to be angry? It's totally unfair for you to take her side!"

"Ron, I really don't care. I just want you to stop picking a fight with her!"

"Fine Harry," Ron said in a gruff tone.

Hermione sighed loudly and glared at Ron now that his back was to her. She rolled her eyes before picking up her book from off the floor and trying to turn to her reading again. It was no use though; she was still simmering from the fight with Ron, and decided to read her book later that night. She turned her attention to Harry. Since there greeting she had hardly talked to him yet.

"Harry, I forgot to ask. Was your Christmas all right?" she inquired caringly.

Hermione watched him anxiously wanting to read his response. She didn't notice the dark look that appeared on Ron's face.

Harry looked up and met her eyes.

"Yeah, it was all right I guess. Lupin is still occupied with hunting down what's left of Voldemort's supporters and cleaning up the problems caused before Voldemort died, so I didn't see all that much of him. We had a nice Christmas feast though at least," Harry replied.

His green eyes were bright with emotion, and he gave her a warm smile, his gratitude for her concern for him was imparted to her unspoken through the expression of gratefulness on his face.

"I am so glad Harry! I bet it was at least good to be away from those atrocious Dursleys." She felt herself getting angry just thinking about the horrible people with whom Harry had had to live for so many years. There were several other choice words she had in mind to describe the Dursleys, far less civil terms. Hesitantly she placed a consoling hand on his arm. Harry awarded her compassionate touch with an appreciative smile.

"Yeah, it was pretty nice to be able to eat turkey and not have to sit and watch Dudley gnawing the legs the whole bloody meal," Harry told them, trying to lighten the mood, obviously uncomfortable with talking about the subjects any further.

Hermione and Ron laughed, lightening the somber atmosphere that talking about the Dursleys had brought on.

"It's still going to be nice to be back at Hogwart's though," Harry added his voice trailing off in a somewhat melancholy tone, gazing out the train window again.

The Hogwart's station was nearly in sight.

Impulsively Hermione hugged Harry tightly. She was starting to feel such a tangle of emotions, ones that were threatening to overwhelm her.

Ron made a face and a noise of annoyance when she embraced Harry, but Hermione didn't really care this time. Harry was returning her hug and the feeling of his arms around her at that moment was very comforting.

Harry's words about Hogwarts had struck a chord deep inside her. She completely understood how Harry's feelings about Hogwarts. As much as she loved her family and her own home, being at Hogwarts was like a second home, one she loved infinitely as much. Here she had met Harry and Ron, wonderfully friends like she had never know before.

Hesitantly she put her head on Harry's shoulder, partially burying her face. Tears had begun to slide down her cheeks, and she really didn't want Ron to see. To her relief and pleasure, Harry didn't seem to mind. He squeezed her hand gently, a gesture which surprised her slightly.

She heard Ron groan as he watched them.

Hermione blinked back more tears. She looked up and gave Ron a hurt look. Sometimes his lack of compassion and understanding hurt her. He grimaced at her. His eyes were dark and the expression in them was indecipherable. Hermione broke his gaze. She slid away from Harry, and gave him a small sad smile.

She turned to look past Harry out the window, staring out it as he had been earlier. A snow-covered Hogwarts was now in view.

Hermione was still internally and emotionally wrestling with the fact that she still couldn't bring herself to come to grips with the fact that their time at Hogwart's was coming to a close. Even scarier to her, was that she was uncertain about what things the future would bring for the three of them and how their friendship would change after graduation.