The Kiss the Boy Saga

In or Out

Harry stood in the library, a little stunned at Draco's sudden exit. He had hoped that they could have a civil conversation after the song he sang to him. If he were perfectly honest with himself, he would admit that he was upset when Malfoy denounced his song the way he had. For a moment he had thought that Rita Skeeter was right, and that he didn't like him the way he had implied when he, uh, kissed him.

But after the comment about his lips, Harry knew that Draco was only complaining because of the mushiness of the song. And force of habit, of course. After all, he wouldn't be Malfoy if he weren't antagonistic and snooty.

Though it had been only a second or two since Draco's departure, when the Library broke out in applause, it seemed terribly delayed. He blushed and grinned, determined to be modest, but Ron ran up to him and held his hand up high, as if he were a champion boxer.

Just then, Madam Pince stormed in, followed closely by Hermione, the look on her face clearly saying that she had stalled as long as she could. Harry nodded to her, causing her to sigh in relief.

"Misters Potter and Weasley!" she screamed. "Detention for a week, both of you! Now take what you need and get out of my library!"

Hermione protested from behind her, "Oh, but Madam Pince -"

The enraged librarian spun on her. "Don't you 'Madam Pince' me, Miss Granger! These two nuisances belong to you, if I'm not mistaken, and if I were to hazard a guess, you knew what they were planning and served to distract me from my duties!" Hermione tried to demur, but was further cut off. "That is highly unbecoming of you and unacceptable for a person of your title. You are forthwith banished from the Library Club and demoted from High Bookquisiter to Simpletome in the Book Club!"

By the end of her rant, Hermione was in tears, and when the librarian was obviously not going to say anymore, the Gryffindor girl squealed in despair and ran out of the room without looking at anyone or grabbing her things.

Harry and Ron exchanged nervous glances, packed up their and Hermione's things, and left to go after her. When they got to the common room, they were told that she was in her room, practicing her repairing spells. When they asked what needed repairing, Lavender shrugged and said, "Whatever she breaks."

They sent Hermione's books up to her with Lavender, and spent the rest of the day generally goofing off, with a 30-minute break here and there for homework. They stayed up in the dorm until one-thirty in the morning playing exploding snap with Seamus and Dean. Neville opted out, since his (and Harry's and Ron's) first class Monday morning was Potions, and he wanted to be wide-awake so that his potion wouldn't explode as violently as usual. He would have loved to drop Potions, but to be a Herbologist, he needed an Average or better on his Potion's N.E.W.T.s.

Ron and Harry, however, stayed up late because of Potions, reasoning that the earlier they went to bed, the earlier Potions would come. Naturally, they regretted staying up late when they got only a few hours' sleep; just like they had last Sunday, just like they would nearly every Sunday for the rest of the school year.

After a quick breakfast, Harry, Hermione (who was still fuming), Ron, and Neville slowly made their way to Potions, where Snape had already charmed the instructions on the board. Harry glanced at Draco, which he realized with a start he had done at the beginning of Potions his entire time at Hogwarts. Only this time, he was treated to a feral grin and an audacious wink.

He felt himself blush to the roots of his hair.

"Are the dungeons too hot for you, Mr. Potter?" Snape's cold voice spat. "It's funny, most lions find it too cold for their tastes."

"Er, no, sir. I swear I'll see Madam Pomfrey after lunch. After all, I know how concerned you are about my health."

"Whatever, Potter, just try not to sneeze into your cauldron." He raised his voice. "The potion we will be making today is highly reactive to organic tissue, so everyone please note that, as is written on the board, gloves are required even before you gather your ingredients. I would greatly appreciate it if today's explosions were left up to Longbottom."

The Slytherins snickered and the Gryffindors glared. Neville, though, was actually doing well on his potion. That is, until Draco tossed something into his cauldron just after Snape passed, causing it to explode very messily all over Neville and Snape.

After an agitated Snape and a terrified Neville left for the Hospital wing, Harry hissed at Draco, "What'd you do that for?"

"I needed to get Snape out somehow, Potter. It's not like Longbottom could have gone the entire hour without blowing up his cauldron, anyway. Besides," he added with a smirk, "Now he gets to brag about how he got that stuff all over Snape. Ooh, I can't wait till he find out what it is."

"Why'd you need to get him out?" Harry asked, while Ron and Hermione simultaneously demanded, "What was it?"

"Something that only affects adults, I assure you, so your little friend is safe. At least, he will be until Snape figures out what it was."

"What was it?" Ron asked again, desperate to know how badly the slimy git would suffer.

"Well, I added a live spider," he offered casually, "so Granger should be able to figure it out well enough. I'd hate to ruin the surprise."

"Why'd you need to get rid of him, Malfoy?" Harry asked visciuosly. "You and your rattlesnakes going to try to give me and my friends to Voldemort?"

Everyone except Hermione cringed. Draco put his hand over his heart in mock pain. "Oh, ouch, Potter! No, the Dark Lord and I disagree on some fundamental issues; it would never work." A few eyebrows raised. "I needed Snape to be absent so that I could do this...."

He had his wand out, and, before Harry even thought to defend himself, he cast a spell. A low, creepy, yet catchy tune started to play. The Boy-Who-Lived knew exactly what he was doing and sat back and listened with amusement to his song.

I remember a time

When malice was sublime

There was plenty of hate in the air

We'd hex and curse

And counter each other

With nary a worry or care

Then along came this dream

That caused my friends to scheme

And got us both into this mess,

So please take your time

You were meant to be mine

I won't settle for anything less

Are you in or out?

Gotta know without a doubt

I'm the one you need for the dirty deed

I'm the best, climax is guaranteed

I must say I'm surprised

You didn't take Skeeter's advice

You want a handsome lover you can't live without?

Better stick with me

Are you in or out?

We used to be smartarses,

Horrendously heartless

In Quidditch and duels we were rough

We felt like we had

To be blissfully bad

Then my friends brought this sensitive stuff

And we strayed from the path

Of our rigorous wrath

Now, let your heart be your guide

We can stick with our winnings

Or our vicious beginnings,

Tell me which one you'd decide

Are you in or out?

Double-crosser or devout?

Get to know me

Pretty soon I'll see

If you might just be worthy of me

Are you beau or friend?

Here's the path I recommend

I can show you what

Pleasure's all about

What's it gonna be?

Are you in or out?

I can touch you in all the right places

And I know this may seem grotesque

But imagine the fear on Snape's face

When he catches us nude on his desk

Are you in or out?

I can't wait to make you shout

I'll lead you straight into

An empty classroom

We'll begin a life that's overdue

Are you out or in?

I want to touch your silky skin

You can be with me, or sit around and pout

What's it gonna be?

Consider carefully

Are you in or out?

Harry was beet red by the end of the song. And Draco was right in front of him, having moved to him so that he could make suggestive touches during important lines. Like the one about Snape's desk... Harry nearly had a heart attack at the thought of what Snape would do in that situation.

"So?" Draco asked, breaking Harry out of his reverie.

"Huh?" Harry asked dumbly. "Oh! Uh, in. Definitely in."

The blonde smiled with only a hint of a sneer, but before he could do anything, Ron interrupted him. "You know Malfoy, if anyone's not worthy of the other, it would be you who's not worthy of Harry."

Draco glowered at the annoyed Gryffindor for a split second and said fiercely, "Hey, Captain Weasel."

Ron lifted his chin in challenge.

Draco accepted the challenge, and when he was sure he had his full attention, he turned and kissed said redhead's best friend. There was, among other things, lots of tongue and sucking. The Slytherin barely felt Harry's hands mess up his hair through the tongue and the mouth and the feel of the brunet's hard body against his, just as needful, just as horny.

He ended the kiss with a loud sucking noise and a wobbly-kneed Potter. Holding the object of his affections close to him, he gave Ron a smug look and laughed at how green his face was. "Oh, you should see your face, Weasley!"

He could feel Harry stifle a laugh beside him. "So you just kissed me to nauseate Ron?" he pouted.

"Oh, don't give me that. I'm not one to do something I don't want to do just for a few seconds of Weasley's aggravation. It was simply a matter of two muggles with one curse."

Hermione let out an affronted gasp and said, "I thought you said you didn't agree with Voldemort" - again, many cringes - "about muggles!"

"What? Ugh, you people! First of all, it's just an expression! Second of all, I did not say that. Of course muggles are filthy beings and purebloods are superior in every way. I just don't think they should be wiped off the face of the earth."

Well, at least that was something. Hermione raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "Oh? And why is that?"

"Let me put it this way. If I killed everyone that was inferior to myself, who would I be superior to?"

"No one."

"Exactly!" he shouted with such excitement that half the people in the classroom nearly jumped out of their skin. "I may not like muggles, but I do like being at the top of the food chain, thank you very much."

Okay, so maybe his reasoning was warped and a little more than missing the point. But at least he was quite positively not going to join Voldemort's forces.

Ron was skeptical. "How do we know that you're telling the truth, Malfoy? Do you have any proof?"

Draco gave him a glare that told him how he felt about explaining himself to a Weasley, but withdrew a folded piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Ron. "You can read that. Then you can ask your pitiful muggle-loving father to research it for you; I'm sure he has access to the files."

Before Ron could further probe Draco's virtue, a soft, musical chime sounded. "Snape's coming back! Come on," he insisted as he dragged Harry to the front of the classroom. He swiped everything off the desk with his left arm and roughly threw Harry onto it with his right. He leapt on top of the Gryffindor and sealed their lips together just before Snape walked in and squawked quite amusingly in astonishment.

Everyone turned their heads to see what he would do, and stopped everything - breathing, blinking, thinking.

"What are you all staring at?" Snape asked savagely.

They were staring at him. To be more precise, they were staring at the new him: the softer facial features, the leaner frame, the soft curves of his hips and breasts. That's right: breasts. Professor Snape was now a woman.

Poor Neville.

Fin.

Seriously.