Healing

Healing

Part Four

The next full moon was less than a week away. It would be just a few days before Halloween. Harry was excelling in all his classes and at quidditch. They had played against Slytherin and Harry had caught the snitch almost before the game had begun. Harry had so little to worry about here. He had classes and quidditch. There was no DA, no Occlumency lessons with Snape, no training to defeat Voldemort. He slipped away occasionally to spend time with Albus and Minerva. James, Sirius, and Peter said nothing about finding Remus and Harry sleeping in Harry's bed that afternoon, at least not to Harry. They also didn't comment that Remus seemed a little cooler towards Peter, though Peter had been spending less and less time with the Marauders.

Remus did tell Harry that he'd had a talk with Lily, as she was getting suspicious. He told her that he had talked with Harry and if what he said about the battle upset her, there was no way she wanted to hear the rest. She seemed to take that at face value and yelled at Sirius and James whenever they asked awkward questions. Every day after the initial talk Harry had told Remus a little more. He started at the beginning and told everything as he had experienced it.

"When Sirius told that joke about Jameson I thought for a minute he had figured it out. I felt kind of bad that Lily yelled at him. She reminded me of Mrs. Weasley then," Harry grinned. Remus knew everything now.

"You are amazing. I can't believe you've done all that."

"Moony!" Harry swiped at him

Remus grabbed a pillow and hit back. Harry grabbed another one and hit Remus over the head. The pillows were discarded for more general wrestling. That was when Sirius and James got back from Arithmancy.

"Look Prongs, it snowed while we were gone!" Sirius threw a handful of down in the air.

"What are you two doing in here? I know I don't live here anymore, but I still don't approve of the redecoration." James said.

"Just a friendly little dispute," Harry said, picking feathers out of his hair. Long hair definitely had its disadvantages.

"Well you can just kiss and make up. We have Potions after lunch," Sirius reminded them.

"What?" Harry and Remus both asked.

"Potions. You know, the class with the evil teachers that makes us all messy and smelly," James said with a grin.

"Not that! We know what potions are!" Remus exclaimed.

"Kiss and make up? Come on, you know you've been dying to!" Sirius said, his grin matching James's.

If Harry hadn't been so dumbstruck he would have thought about how much James and Sirius resembled Fred and George just them.

"WHAT?" two voices said as one.

James and Sirius turned to look at each other. "I think our work here is done." Harry never knew which one said it.

Harry and Remus were staring at each other in shock.

"They're nuts!" Harry said.

"Completely," Remus agreed.

"We should call Mungo's."

"It'd be for their own good."

"I mean, you're twenty years older than me!" Harry objected.

"Not here, but we're good friends!" Remus said.

"That's true," he paused. "So were Ron and Hermione."

"James and Lily were."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Harry realized in some small part of his mind that neither of them were commenting on the fact that they were both male. That suddenly didn't bother Harry. He knew he was attracted to girls. He kissed Cho in fifth year, and dated Susan Bones and Lisa Turpin in sixth year. He and Hermione had kissed once in sixth year before she and Ron got together. There was no law that said he couldn't like guys too. As his mind was rationalizing he didn't notice that he and Remus were sitting very close. He looked Moony right in the eyes. They were especially amber so close to the full moon. The amber eyes were looking back into his.

"I wish I could see your real eyes," Moony said.

"You can. It's just a spell," Harry said. He made sure the door was locked. It was actually a potion originally. Harry hadn't wanted to tell Dumbledore he could do the same with a spell. The spells might not exist yet. He waved his wand and it felt like his hair was shrinking back into his head.

"Wow. You really do look just like James, except for the eyes. You're shorter too."

"Probably the cupboard."

"I'd rather not think about that."

"You don't want to be locked in the dark with me?" Harry joked.

Remus blushed. He leaned forward, and Harry felt lips claim his. Remus pushed him back on the bed. The wolf was very active so close to full moon. Harry let his griffin senses take over and saw a whole other side to Remus. The sensitive, intelligent, gentle boy had an animalistic roughness underneath. Harry drew that out and felt Remus gnaw on Harry's lip, making Harry moan with desire. He pulled at the robes covering Remus until he found bare skin. He ran his hands up Remus's perfectly smooth back under his shirt. Remus pulled open Harry's robes and his hands explored Harry's clothed body. Harry slipped his hands inside Remus's trousers, finding the skin there just as smooth as the skin of his back. Remus pulled at Harry's shirt and all the buttons broke off, flying all over the room. His mouth trailed down Harry's neck and found a sensitive spot that caused Harry to arch into him. Remus flicked his tongue against the spot and Harry moaned again, his trousers feeling very constrictive. He decided Remus was wearing far too many clothes. He pushed the robes off of Remus's shoulders and worked on his shirt. That was when all hell broke loose.

* * * * * * * *

"Alohamora! Come on you too, we'll be late...what the hell?" Sirius yelled.

James came running up the stairs to see what was wrong. "What's going...Polyjuice cannot do that!"

Harry panicked, pushed Moony off him, and ran into the bathroom off the bedroom, shutting and locking the door with a much more advanced spell than he had used before. None of them would be able to open the door. Harry looked in the mirror and saw Harry Potter, not Harry Jameson.

"Harry come out here!" James was yelling.

"James calm down!" Remus practically growled.

"Why should he?" Sirius demanded. "Something very strange is going on here."

"Because he's Harry father!" Remus told them.

Remus told them. Harry heard all the yelling stop. He fixed his mussed up clothes and tried to button his shirt, when he noticed there were no buttons. He conjured new buttons and closed the shirt, tucking it into his trousers. Any excitement had worn off completely. He closed his robes and heard muffles voices from the next room.

"Harry, are you coming out here or do I have to search your trunk for that picture?" Remus yelled through the door.

Harry unlocked the door and walked out. Sirius and James stared at him, not believing their eyes. He avoided their gaze and opened his trunk with a flick of his hand. He summoned the picture and handed it to them. Remus took Harry's hands in his and looked down at them.

"You're doing wandless magic?" he asked.

"Did you think I could kill Voldemort if I couldn't do a little wandless magic? I left my wand on the nightstand," Harry said in excuse. "I try not to do it too much. It's tiring."

"That was a very advance locking spell. None of us could open it." Remus reached up a hand to stroke Harry's cheek.

"Stop that!" James ordered.

"You were encouraging it twenty minutes ago!" Remus countered.

"Well a lot has changed since then. You're too old for him!"

"I don't think you have any right to decide that." Remus's answer was dangerously quiet.

"He's my son." James answered.

"And I'm the only one who lives long enough to stay with him!" Remus growled.

"Moony!" Harry yanked his hands away, furious.

"Harry, what is he talking about?" Sirius asked, his voice wavering.

Harry swayed, tired from too much wandless magic. He gripped Moony's shoulder to stay upright. "I have to rest. Fix this Moony."

Harry staggered to the bed and fell sleep the instant he hit the disarrayed pillows.

"Harry. Harry," a soft familiar voice spoke. It sounded like...but it couldn't be.

"Sirius? I thought you were dead," Harry hadn't been awakened by his godfather in so long. He opened his eyes and saw the seventeen year old Sirius sitting on his bed.

"Does Bella really kill me?" He asked.

"You're all getting memory charms, you know. If none of it happens, I might not kill Voldemort, or something even worse might happen," Harry said, sitting up.

"How does it happen?" Sirius showed just a hint of the haunted look that Azkaban would put in his eyes. He was holding the picture and looked down at his image. "How do I become this?"

"Twelve years in Azkaban will do that. It's a miracle you don't go insane. If it wasn't for Padfoot you would have," Harry hesitated, wondering how to tell someone about their death. He could really use Trelawny. She was a master at predicting death. "I don't think it hurt, but I don't really know. Voldemort tricked me. I thought he was torturing you in the Department of Mysteries at The Ministry. I went to save you and you came to save me. There was a battle," Harry swallowed, the images coming back. "You were dueling with her, and your back was to the veil. It separates life and death. You taunted her, and she cursed you. You were so surprised that she got you, and you just fell backwards. I tried to go after you but Moony stopped me, so I went after her instead."

"You didn't...." Sirius could not complete the question, but it was unnecessary.

"No. I tried - I wanted to - but I couldn't even cast Cruciatis right," Harry explained.

"You cast an Unforgivable?" Sirius looked horrified.

"It was the first time, but not the last. The Ministry didn't do a thing and it was right in their foyer by the Fountain of the Magical Brethren," Sirius still looked horrified. "Sirius, the aurors right now have permission from The Ministry to use the Unforgivable Curses to bring Death Eaters in. There was a prophecy that said I was the only one who could kill Voldemort. I had to hurt people to get the chance." Harry remembered the green jet of light shooting out of his wand. He hadn't believed he could kill anyone. He had to prove it to himself before he could try to kill Voldemort. There was no expression on Lucius Malfoy's face as his body fell beside that of his son, killed by the father. Harry had been too late to save Draco, but not to avenge him.

Harry didn't notice that Sirius had crossed the space between their beds until he was pulled into a bear hug. Harry felt tears begin to fall down his cheeks again. This boy would become the closest thing to a father Harry would ever have and it was his fault he died. He hugged him back and let all the pent up guilt out.

"I'm so sorry Sirius! I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"It's my fault you died. If I hadn't let Voldemort trick me-"

"Harry, there's nothing you could have done differently. I can't believe you risked your life for me."

"But you're my godfather. I love you," Harry said. As he did he realized he had never told Sirius that before. Never once he told his godfather how much he meant to him. It felt....cleansing.

Sirius laughed a little, "I'm still trying to adjust to that one."

"Where did Moony and James go?" he asked.

"Moony dragged us out of here and into Prongs's room. They kicked me out after he told us the basic story. Did you really kill You-Know-Who?" he asked.

Harry nodded, "A killing curse was all it took. Well, I had to distract him first."

"Harry, I'm sorry."

Harry whipped around to see James standing in the doorway, Moony behind him smiling. Harry leapt out of the bed and hugged his father.

* * * * * * * *

The four of them missed potions that day. Lily lectured them all and stormed out of the room after she returned from class, James chasing after her. Harry had already reapplied his disguise when she got back. If Peter saw it could be disastrous. Harry was convinced that the forth Marauder was already a Death Eater. He acted too much like his future self had. While James while trying to woo back Lily, Harry went to Dumbledore's office to explain what had happened. While he didn't tell Albus everything, he did tell him that the Marauders, with the exception of Peter, knew.

On his way out of the headmaster's office he bumped into Minerva.

"Harry! How are you doing?" She put her hand on his chin and lifted his face to study it.

"I've been better. Is there somewhere we can talk?" He needed advice, and Minerva was the only one he could turn to.

Half an hour later they were sitting in front of the fire in her sitting room. Harry had spilled his heart out to her. She was amazed that he would do so. She knew they had grown to be friends, but he was still a student in her house. She doubted any of the others would come to her like this.

"Do you love him Harry?" she asked.

Harry nodded, "I always have, ever since I was thirteen. It's different now, though. It's changing. I have to go back sometime, though. What will happen when I see him then? He won't even remember any of this."

"Harry, a memory charm can't change how someone feels. He may not remember what you had here, but he'll still love you. I'm guessing the Remus of the future is very confused and conflicted about his feelings for you."

"Thank you Minerva. I - I should get back." He stood up and hugged her. She pressed the blond haired boy close to her. He seemed so small and fragile. How could he contain so much power?

Harry wandered the corridors before heading back to Gryffindor. It was a habit he developed in the sleepless nights of his sixth year. He knew the corridors of the school better than any of the professors or students. He had added on to the Marauder's Map and it showed at least twenty rooms that didn't appear on the original. He let his mind wander as he walked. The Marauders could probably use some time to themselves. This was a lot to handle and they could talk better without him there. He thought about life at home and wondered if Hermione and Ron had made it. He wanted to know that they were okay. He missed them.

"Hello Severus," he said as he passed Severus Snape, not thinking.

"What was that?"

Harry froze. Of all the people here that changed, Severus Snape probably changed the most. The Snape here was either already a Death Eater or on his way. He was not a spy for Albus. He was not on Harry's side of the war against Voldemort. Harry turned slowly. There were other Slytherins there that Harry had not noticed before. Lucius, Bellatrix, Rabastan Lestrange, and Severus all had their wands pointed at Harry. The sight of people he knew to be ruthless killers made him furious. Before they could blink Harry had his own wand pointed back. In his sixth year he had taken to wearing it strapped to forearm. A flick of his wrist was all he needed.

"Afraid to be called by your given name? Should I just call you Snivellus?" Harry hated doing this. He wasn't friends with Snape by any stretch of the imagination, but they had built a grudging respect for each other. It felt wrong to do this.

"The new Gryffindor is fast on the draw. Does he handle his wand as well as he handles his broom, though?" Belletrix teased.

"Better," Harry said, confident. He felt himself falling into battle mode. Hermione had told him that he exuded power when he did this, just like Albus.

The Slytherins all began to look a bit uneasy. Harry could use this.

"Blond hair and blue eyes aren't the only things that run in the family," he said slowly.

Rabastan uttered a curse. Instantly Harry conjured a shield. The curse bounced off it and hit a wall, making a small black mark on the stone. He remembered that he was facing teenagers, not the adults they would become. He couldn't do anything that would hurt them, and that limited his choices. He heard footsteps running along the corridor. Harry weighed his options. There could have been another Slytherin there before he came back to himself. In between blocking hexes he tapped himself on the head with his wand. He felt cold slither down his spine. The Disillusion Charm would allow him to blend into the wall.

"Where did he go?" Lucius asked.

The Slytherins were all looking around him, not paying attention to the approaching footsteps. Five figures turned the corner and aimed their wands at the Slytherins.

"Cousin Bella, how nice to see you. I see my darling little brother isn't with you all today," Sirius said with false sincerity.

"You're no cousin of mine," she spat. "Your mother disowned you two years ago. Regulus is better off without you. You don't deserve the name Black."

"It seems I'm stuck with it. Having fun cursing the air? There's no one else here. Or were you just turning on each other like all your kind do," he replied.

"Well, Jameson was here just a moment ago. It seems he ran away," Severus joined the conversation.

"That's detention for all of you, and ten points each from Slytherin. The four of you were attacking one student," James said, exercising his authority as Head Boy.

Harry slowly made his way over to Moony, who was standing closest to him of all the Marauders. He didn't like this situation. The tension in the air could break into a storm at any moment. He whispered in Moony's ear that he was there. Thankfully, he did not react.

"So what happens if we attack five?" Rabastan asked.

"I don't think you really want to find out," Moony said in a very low tone, staring directly at Severus. Severus backed up, clearly afraid.

This time Belletrix attacked first. She aimed her curse at Sirius. Harry reacted purely on instinct. He had seen her kill Sirius once. This confrontation was his fault. It should never have happened so its outcome was unpredictable. If someone got hurt this could really create a paradox. He threw his shield through the air to deflect the curse. It clattered to the ground at Lucius's feet. The Gryffindors all stepped back. They must have felt Harry's anger as he stepped in front of his parents, godfather, lover, and their betrayer.

Harry began to speak an incantation, using the advantage of the Slytherins' fear. They didn't know where he was. They could just feel his presence and hear his voice. The sound of his voice bounced off the stone, making it difficult to tell exactly where he was. Vines began to rise out of the floor, weaving themselves into a cage around the Slytherins. Expelliarmus! Four wands flew to his outstretched hand. Stupefy! The four attackers fell to the ground, cushioned by their flora prison. He dropped the wands on the ground and tapped himself on the head again. Warmth trickled down his back as he became visible once more. He turned to face the Gryffindors as his body gradually appeared before them. They were all wide eyed. Peter looked particularly afraid.

Lily snapped out of it first and ran forward to hug him. "James told me," she whispered in his ear. "I can't believe you've held it all in."

He hugged her back and closed his eyes. He felt more arms wrap around them. They stood in a group hug for several minutes. When they broke apart Peter was the only one with dry eyes.

"What is going on with all of you?" Wormtail asked.

Remus shrugged, "Must be the wrong time of the month."

They all burst into laughter and the tension bled out of the area. James looked back at the vine cage.

"How did you do that Harry?" James asked.

"I'm more interested in the disappearing act." Peter said thoughtfully.

Harry did not want to be the one to teach him that spell. "The vines are a simple incantation. Most people don't think of using it to trap other people. As Uncle Albus says, I don't need an invisibility cloak to become invisible," he smiled mysteriously.