Rambles of Insanity

Author: And now, ladies and germs, Harry Potter is going to write HIS OWN FANFICTION! (random clapping and cheering from stage audience).

Harry: Who are you?

Author: Your masterette.

Harry: Okayyy... what's a masterette?

Author: A MASTER THAT'S A GIRL, DUH!

Harry: Did Voldemort send you?

Author: No.

Harry: Who did?

Author: My own demented head.

Harry: Alright then.

Author: I have a task for you.

Harry: Why am I scared?

Author: 'cause its me. Anyway, what you have to do is... write a fanfiction.

Harry: Whats a fanfiction?

Author: Don't play stupid with me! I'm better at it!

Harry: -staring at the author in horror-but why do I have to do this? Huh? WHY?!

Author: uuuh... can I get back to you on that?

Harry: No

Author: Yes.

Harry: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Author: Alright Alright... because you have to.

Harry: Why? Why do I have to?

Author: because I said so. Don't ask questions.

Harry: (appalled) are you attempting to imitate my aunt and uncle?

Author: (innocent voice) maybe...

Harry: Argh!

Author: Whatsa matter?

Harry: I don't wanna do this! -whines loudly-

Author: Don't whine. People would think that you are your cousin. I mean it....ahh the horror!!! Oh and haven't we been through this?

Harry: No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!

Author: Yes. Now get writing -pulls Harry's hair and Harry jumps back-

Harry: LET GO! (the author...cough I mean masterette... lets go of poor Harry's head) -Harry sits down at a desk-hey where is the paper?! ARGH this cannot be!!!-begins to panic-

Author: here you go, here you go-hands Harry paper and pen-

Harry: HEY THIS PEN WON'T WORK! I CANNOT LIVE WITH THIS PAIN AND AGONY!!!

Author: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Just use a computer!!! And stop stalling.

Ronnikens: What's a computer?

Author: never you mind dude!!!

Hermione: -walks in-They're mistreating the house elves again!!! And Ron... why is your hair blond?

Ronnikens: I had a fight with some bleach...very depressing story, very depressing indeed.

Author: Hermione!!! My homie skillet!

-Ronnikens and Harry star at the author in horror-

Ronnikens: What are you?! AMERICAN?!!!

Author: -takes a very dramatic bow-Yes! It's all true! I'm guilty! -runs away screaming very loudly-

Ronnikens: -as soon as the author is completely out of an earshot- YES! She's gone! Now its time to PARTY!!! And could someone please change my name back to Ron?

-Hermione and Harry links arms and walks away-

Ronnikens: Hello?! HELLO?!!!! Somebody? Anybody? WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE?!!!!! HELLO?!!! HELLO????????????????????

Draco: Hello my precious

Ronnikens: -stares at Draco in complete horror-Wha...

Draco: HEY DON'T BLAME ME! Blame the author, who is for some reason still existent although most of us wish otherwise.

Ronnikens: I agree. Wait, why did I just agree with MALFOY?

Draco: (mimicking an Australian accent but failing miserably) you did, mate. You did.

Ronnikens: Holy shit...IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT...

Voldie: -walks in- Luke. I am your father...wait, wrong movie......and we aren't even in a movie, are we?!

Draco: -quickly bows down and kisses Voldemorts feet-

Ronnikens: -stares at Draco with a mix of victory and quite some horror-So it IS true. You follow Voldemort....

Draco: I do when he's in an earshot and you'd be once again proving that you're truly a git if you didn't when he's around.

Ronnikens: Well my best friends his ARCHNEMISIS it'd also be stupid following him!!!

Draco: Like I said, only when he's in an earshot.

Harry: Hey Malfoy, wanna go bowling?

Draco: OKAY! -Harry and Draco link arms and are off skipping to the bowling alley-

Ronnikens: What the...

Author: WHAT ABOUT THE FIC! HELLOOO! HARRY YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOUR POST LIKE THIS! ITS NOT RIGHT! HARRY!!!!!!!!!! GET BACK HERE! OH NO YOU DIDN'T JUST FLICK ME OFF! HECK NO! Ooooh it's a SPORK! HI SPORK! NO DON'T FLY AWAY FROM ME! YOU GOTTA WRITE SOME CRAPPY FANFICTION FOR ME!

Fin.