Remus' Serum

The inseparable four were sitting cross-legged on the floor, roughly forming a circle, with four glasses that looked suspiciously like wine glasses sitting in front of them. It was dark, and Peter had lit a candle he had gotten as a present and set it down in the centre, the light reflecting off of their faces in an almost creepy way. It was a steady, almost unnaturally bright glow, but still it made everything look slightly surreal.

James, the oldest of the group, poured the truth potion they had managed to create into the four separate glasses, careful not to spill any, lest someone be permitted to tell a half-truth.

Remus abruptly turned to Sirius, his pale freckled face worried and tight. "Is this really necessary? Couldn't we just say 'best friends forever' like the girls do and be done with it?"

Sirius smiled at him patronizingly, black hair swinging into his eyes. "But we're not girls, now are we?"

Remus bristled at him, uncertainty making him angry. "Then why are we doing this? You know the girls do this all the time."

"This is necessary. We need to know we can trust each other." Remus winced inwardly. Sirius continued, oblivious. "We can't have secrets between best friends now, could we?"

Peter bobbed his head at these words, looking so nervous you could almost see his eye twitch.

He smirked at Remus, looking impish in the candlelight. He raised an eyebrow delicately, his mouth still grinning. "Besides what's the worst secret you could have? The most is a crush, and we won't hate you for that." Remus paled as James flushed crimson. Sirius noticed and turned to him, smiling wickedly. "You first, Potter."

James appeared to consider the clear liquid in his glass for a moment. He looked up at Sirius suddenly, nodding shakily. "All right," James said, "me first."

Sirius cackled evilly as James drank the foul-tasting potion and coughed.

"I get to ask the first question!" he shouted before any of the others could open their mouths.

"DoyoulikeLilyEvans?" he asked in one breath.

James tried to quickly place his hands over his mouth before it had a chance to respond but missed and slapped himself in the cheek. The other three laughed. "Ow! Yes!" He covered his mouth, glaring at Sirius, who smiled with satisfaction.

Remus chuckled. "Do you love her, James?"

"Yes!" he shouted through his fingers, looking as if he were going to murder them at the same time.

"I knew it!"

"Oh yeah? Take your dose and say that!"

"Ok, well, unless you have some big secret, it's my turn anyway." He reached down and picked up his glass, staring distrustfully into the contents. "No asking about my family, alright?"

James fought with himself quietly and managed to get out, as Sirius drained the glass, "No way. I want to know."

Sirius choked and coughed, spraying his mouthful over the table. "What?" he choked out.

James shrugged guiltily as his mouth betrayed him, disobeying his order to shut up. This truth serum is pretty complicated, he thought. "You heard me. Why don't you talk about them?"

Sirius hadn't had the full dose, and knew he could soften the truth. His parents had warned him of the effects of truth serum when he was young, and taught him ways to cheat it. Typical of them, really, he thought sourly.

"I- They're not proud of me. I'm in Gryffindor, and it still, I don't know, hurts when your parents say they regret having you." He looked away and stared at the wall. "It doesn't really bother me, but why did I have to be born a Black?"

James was fighting with himself again, apparently. "Because," he gasped out, trying to clamp his lips together with his hands, "Your father was a Black."

Sirius gave him a pitying look. "I know that. Potter, can't you handle a bit of Veritaserum?"

"No," he said instantly, causing Sirius to burst out laughing. "Never mind, I knew that. Anything else you guys wish to know?"

Peter and Remus looked at each other thoughtfully. Remus chose his next words carefully, "Was it you who coated the girls' toilets in clear cement glue?"

Sirius bit back a laugh. "No, it was Clear Clinging Glue, not cement glue. And it was partly Peeves' fault anyway."

James looked murderous. "You know, that was the... ah, a reason the girls hate us."

"Oh yes, Lily. Sorry about that, mate."

Peter cocked his head, as if curious. "James, have you ever lied to us? Outside of a prank?"

James shook his head fervently as his mouth moved in a simple answer. "Yes." Remus raised his brows as Sirius gave an exaggerated sigh. "Outside of tact, and Lily, he meant."

"Oh, then no."

Sirius shook his head. "James, buddy, you are far too noble."

"So you tell me. All right then, Remus, it's your turn. I want to ask you a couple of questions." This time it was James' turn to smile wickedly at Remus, teeth glinting in the candlelight.

Sirius grinned reassuringly at the pale boy. "Don't worry, it's... ok, so, it's awful, but, I mean, you look like you're facing the executioner's axe." I might as well be, Remus thought, I'm no better off. Remus smiled faintly at him, his face still chalk white, and looked back at the group, who were sitting and waiting.

He picked his glass up, his hand shaking, but managed to down it all with practised ease. He made an ugly face at the taste.

James cleared his throat importantly. "Can we start now? Peter still has to take his turn before morning." The group nodded. "All right."

"First question, Remus. Are you sick?"

Remus raised his head and searched James' eyes pleadingly, begging him to stop, before dropping his head to stare at his feet. "Yes," he mumbled. Sirius started and looked at him curiously. He was next to ask.

"Was this what you were worried about telling us?"

"Yes."

"How long have you had it?" James now.

"Since I was five."

"Are you worried we'll hate you for it?" Sirius questioned.

"Yes."

"Is it painful?" Peter asked, trembling.

"Excruciating." He was under Veritaserum, and couldn't lie to them, couldn't even soften the truth since they had given him so much. Remus examined the scars on his hand very carefully, refusing to look at his friends as the secret he had kept for years spilled out of him in tiny increments.

"Is it curable?" James asked worriedly.

He shook his head, his face grim.

"Is it fatal?" James asked again, more desperately.

"Generally." Remus bit his lip, tasting blood, his mind running over the statistics he had found in the library. James swore vilely.

"What do you mean?'" Sirius said in a horrified tone.

"Usually if my, er, type don't die from the initial wound, then they die at their own hands, before they turn 20."

"What are the odds?" Sirius asked hesitantly.

"One in two hundred survive till their 20's." James swore again, and no one noticed.

"Is that why you leave every month, for treatment? Your mother's not dying?" Peter asked, looking as if the world was crashing down around him.

"My mother is very healthy, and hasn't been sick since before I was born. Yes, I leave every month for... treatment." He invested the last word with clear derisiveness.

"How come you didn't tell us earlier?" Sirius was angry now, recovering from the shock of it. James still had yet to reach that stage, and Peter was still repeating what he'd said in a stunned voice.

"What, tell you I was sick with an incurable disease and that I am probably going to die? I think not." He was getting angry. How could they ask him that? He wanted to tell them and played the scene of how he would tell the over and over, trying not to think of how they would treat him once he knew. Freak.

"Still, you could have said something," Sirius said in a hurt tone.

"I could have, but I prefer friends to isolation, thank you." He was definitely angry now, and feeling very defensive.

Remus stared at them, tears prickling at the back of his eyes, threatening to spill over at the loss of his friends.

There was a long silence.

Peter spoke up after a few minutes, appearing to be thinking this over carefully. "What do you have?" Remus goggled at him, his mouth open, as Sirius and James gazed at him dimly, waiting for an answer.

"Lycanthropy," he muttered, casting his eyes back to the floor.

"What?" Peter looked puzzled as James and Sirius sucked in their breath, understanding hitting them full in the face.

"Don't you get it yet? I'm a werewolf!" he shouted at them, throwing his hands up in the air and turning around so they wouldn't see him cry. There was a moment of silence while the words echoed around the bedroom as they digested this.

Peter looked at him like a little lost kid, refusing to believe what was so obvious now. "Werewolves don't exist," he said, lower lip trembling. "It's not true, you're lying."

Remus stared at him in disbelief and shook his head slowly, chuckling just as slow, knowing he was crossing the line into madness and scaring his friends, but at that moment he didn't care. "Where do I go every month, then, Peter? How come I miss every single Astronomy lesson when we study full moons? Why do I never have anything made of silver? How come I always spend so much time in the Hospital Wing? You think I did all that purposely, just to play this stupid prank on you? No, face the facts, see me for the monster I am."

Sirius grabbed his shoulder roughly and spun him around as Remus turned to leave. "You're not a monster, you are our friend. This doesn't change anything. We won't let you die, not ever. You'll make it, be the lucky one of your kind that makes it to twenty years and older. You have us. We'll help you."

Remus nodded, his mouth working, and felt his chest tighten and his breathing become constricted. I won't cry, not in front of them. Sirius watched him for a moment, then pulled him into a brief, and what he considered a very manly hug. Remus broke and began to sob uncontrollably onto Sirius' shoulder.

They just held each other for a moment while James recovered a little and reached out hesitantly, almost afraid that Remus was going to turn and attack. The thin boy continued to sob into his friend's chest pathetically and James was overcome with compassion for his friend. He patted Remus' back comfortingly, letting him know he was there.

Peter watched them for a moment before leaning in to take Remus' pale freckled hand, gripping it tightly.

Remus' thin body shook with sobs, as Sirius held him tightly. Years of frustration, paranoia, loneliness, and wariness poured out as the barrier of the secret broke and they became true friends.

Some time had passed before Remus calmed down and sniffed, exhausted. Sirius peered at him worriedly. "You all cried out now?"

Remus nodded, taking a deep shaky breath. "Yeah, I'm fine now. Thanks."

Sirius stiffened as they heard a whispered "Alohamora!" and the door was flung open to reveal a red-haired girl their age, a wand and a bottle of Neon-Pink Punk Hair Gel in her hands. She gasped, and blushed at the sight. Another girl poked her head around and grinned evilly.

Sirius knew what it looked like - he was sitting on the floor, the wine glasses they had used for the Veritaserum sitting by him in the candlelight, three of them empty, still embracing a formerly crying, very dishevelled Remus, and surrounded by their friends who were looking very guilty and shocked.

"So, sorry, did we disturb something? Cool slumber party, girls." She pulled out her camera and snapped a quick picture before the stunned boys could recover. "Thanks. This is much better than we could have planned it anyway. Perfect revenge!" she cackled, turning to leave. "Oh, and Lily, I thought you said Siri didn't like boys that way!" she admonished her shocked friend in mock horror. "Bye-bye now!" she called as she headed down the stairs.

Sirius and James exchanged horrified glances and screamed simultaneously down the corridor "Lynn!" Laughter echoed up the stairway.

Lily shifted quickly to one side, her face bright red, as a small shape careened past her and tackled the cackling girl outside of the door. The camera fell and they both made a grab for it, Peter managing to catch it.

He stood up triumphantly and Lynn clutched his ankle, sending him flying. Lily backed into the dormitory, laughing hard and clutching her sides. James and Sirius joined her watched the two scrabble for the camera. Remus smiled weakly at the sight, still feeling like he'd rather hide in his bed with the covers thrown over his head for the next eternity.

He glanced up and saw the bathroom door ajar, crawling over to it and standing up as he got inside. The others were too busy laughing to notice. He shut the door softly and locked it, sinking down to the floor in exhaustion. He shut his eyes and tried to ignore a massive headache he was getting. He took a deep breath and let it out, the stress of the last hour hitting him fully. This was just a moment's brief respite before the reality of his situation sunk into his friend's minds.

They would learn to fear him, and hate him. They would spill it to the school, it would leak out, and he would be expelled. He would never finish his education, never be able to get a job, or afford new robes. Ha, like new robes matter now, he thought bitterly. He propped up an arm on one knee and did the only thing he could do - rested his head on it and fell asleep instantly.