Goyle's "Great" Idea

Goyle's "Great" Idea

"Well, here goes. First we go to the common room, then find each box of colors..." Goyle said, pointing to an elaborately drawn plan with a crayon.

By "colors," Goyle meant "crayons." He just wasn't that bright. Malfoy rolled his eyes, but it was nothing stupid compared to what was next.

"Then," Goyle continued, his eyes glittering with childish delight, "Then we eat the colors, blue first. We eat the colors, and of course, do some...." but that was all Hermione heard when spying on the Slytherins from behind a statue of Uric the Oddball.

She decided instantly that this was something she would have to see. Draco Malfoy, angry, started saying very rude words to Goyle. But it seemed that the rest of the Slytherins wanted to. Crabbe had nodded with delight at the mention of the idea. Pansy Parkinson had remarked on how good she thought crayons tasted.

Marcus Flint raised his eyebrows, muttering, "Finally, somebody else that eats crayons!"

Since Malfoy was outnumbered, he couldn't do anything. He was forced to walk down the hall into the common room, and start finding boxes of crayons. Then, if that weren't bad enough, he had to eat them. Hermione had left to go get her camera, while the Slytherins marched down the hall proudly. In a matter of minutes, she had caught up with them and hid inside a hot, stifling suit of armor. When they finally got down the next hall, she moved out of the sweaty armor and got out, relieved.

She heard someone yell, "Yellow-belly!" and knew that must be the password, or else Goyle being stupid again. She came in after them, and as the Slytherins were too preoccupied looking for their box, she had time to hide in a closet, her camera dangling from her neck.

She heard a scuffle, occasionally catching words like, "No, it's MY box of crayons!" from Pansy or Marcus. Earlier, the Ravenclaws had hid the boxes in "strategic locations," and couldn't help but put some of them in very dangerous places. One was thrown to the top of a great metal spike that was in the common room for no evident reason (the Slytherins had tried to get rid of it, but it was too heavy), and one was stuffed under a floorboard that was hard to squeeze your hand through. It seemed to Hermione to take hours for everyone to find their box (and they couldn't start eating without them, it was just too impolite).

When almost everyone had, Malfoy whined, "I guess my box is just not here...well, I guess I'll miss out..." he said in a falsely sad tone.

But Crabbe grunted and pointed to the one on top of the spike.

"Oh no," Malfoy whispered under his breath. He finally, after much persuasion (and some money involved), climbed up to the top and got the box labeled "Draco Malfoy." The Ravenclaws had put his up there on purpose, he thought.

When he got down, he saw that everyone had their blue crayon out, waiting for him to eat. Hermione shifted, getting her camera ready. She opened the door just a crack, and snapped picture after picture. They didn't see or hear it because she had bewitched it. She got a particularly good one of Draco chomping on a purple crayon. She was almost sad when it was over, five hours after it had started. The next day, it was in the Daily Prophet, on the front page. The picture of Malfoy with the purple crayon was blown up and featured in great detail. Naturally, the Slytherin got angry and left without so much as a bit of toast. Goyle had ditched the regular breakfast and had crayons.

A first-year Hufflepuff came up to him and asked, "Do those taste good?"

Goyle, in response, grunted protectively, indicating that they were his crayons. Finally the Hufflepuff left. Even Albus Dumbledore couldn't help but laugh at the front page of the newspaper that day.

The Slytherins were too embarrassed to find that they actually liked the crayons, and also that it was not Goyle who suggested they eat them, but the Weasley twins in disguise (one on the other's shoulders, to be as tall as Goyle, with a pillow stuffed onside their "Goyle Suit")!