Dumbledore's Wig Shop

Dumbledore's Wig Shop

"Welcome, all," Professor Albus Dumbledore calmly said to some kids who were entering his magical wig shop. "Is there a wig you are interested in?" he continued, folding his hands onto the desk he was at.

The kids, who were obviously Hufflepuffs, stopped. "This is a wig shop?" they asked confusedly.

A few darted out to read the sign outside. It clearly said, "PIZZA". One Hufflepuff shrugged and they walked out, somewhat disappointed. They must have been hungry.

Dumbledore saw a Slytherin, Marcus Flint, who had drifted off to sleep on the floor after looking at some black wigs.

Snape walked in awhile after, and, looking for a black wig, stepped on Marcus Flint's head.

"Oops," he said simply, and then said, as he pulled off his wig, "Dumbledore, can you tell me which one looks the greasiest?"

Dumbledore was in shock, staring at Snape's bald head. He must have noticed, because he said, "Yeah, I am bald, okay? I think it looks more realistic if the wig looks greasy!"

Dumbledore nodded and muttered, "Note to self: Snape is bald. Don't trust him."

Snape was still trying to decide which the greasiest wig was when Malfoy walked in and fainted at the sight of his teacher's bald head. The same happened when Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Cho, Parvati, and Cedric walked in. Somebody who had evidently been hiding behind the wig rack made a mad dash for the door. By the time these people had been revived, Snape had bought his wig and left. Dumbledore's Wig Shop, located in Diagon Alley, was all very silent for a few minutes.

Ginny walked in, and, looking at the wigs, found a purple one that looked quite suitable to glue on Percy's head while he was asleep. So, she asked for it. Later, as she walked out of the shop contentedly, Dumbledore got bored and started making and wiring a Muggle computer. But before long, he had gotten very angry at it and kicked it, smashing the monitor. All the cords were too confusing. He looked up and he saw a little boy and his mom press their faces against the glass in the front of his shop.

"You know, the other day, when you asked me what a mental condition was?" the mom asked. Dumbledore looked up. A cord that he had been chewing on from the computer was dangling from his mouth.

"I get it now," the boy replied.

Just then, Dumbledore came up to the glass and asked, "May I help you?"

The boy and his mom ran off, horrified. Dumbledore couldn't help but notice that the wire had tasted pretty good. He picked it up and started nibbling again.

Men in uniform walked by and put a "closed" sign on the door. Dumbledore sighed and walked out of the shop.

"The only thing left to do now," he said to himself, "is start a school. But I don't know a name...but, hey, I like the name Hogwarts..."

And that is how Hogwarts came to be. And if you don't believe me, hey, you don't believe me. But it's the true story.