Of Breath And Bone

Part IV: Metamorphosis

When Remus moved to attack Peter, the human and wolf sides of him had melded into one particular focus, which was to protect their mate. His next moment of awareness was that of the burning, searing pain that slowly swept through him. He could feel Sirius' worry, followed by his anger, but before he could do more than think, he was slipping into unconsciousness.

Where he fell seemed to be endless darkness, and he could hear Moony howling with pain at the back of his mind. For once, he was howling right along with him until there was no more pain, and only his awareness of the darkness kept him there. Then, after those long moments of quiet silence, another sound filled the air; the sound was both heard and not-heard, and it took him a moment to realise exactly what was happening.

It had happened once before, when he was sixteen. This sensation of experiencing the memories and knowledge of another before finally just flowing into them. It had only happened with one person, and it was the same now. The memory of how they walked around for two weeks as though they were literally one person thrown into two separate bodies flowed between them, and laughter echoed as they recalled how badly James had been unnerved by the reality of it, given how different they were to begin with.

//James...// the thought was Sirius', tinged with sadness. //It's come full circle now, and justice is finally done.//

//Is it? With us like this?//

//The rat is dead. I killed him and watched him fall to the ground.//

//With?//

The answer came, tinged with a slight worry/embarrassment/shame: //Avada Kedavra.//

//It was the only way.//

//I know. I wanted him dead, I wanted him dead so badly.//

//I as well.//

The images flew through Remus' mind as they existed there together in that space for an endless amount of time. There was no need to hold him close, because he already was closer than any amount of other contact could be. It was the freedom of this unconsciousness, and pain.

//Are we dead?//

The thought finally came, and Remus laughed with it, throwing the disbelief that they would just be hovering there in darkness with no apparent purpose if they were dead. Sirius had the sense of disagreement about him, but Remus shrugged at it; his bondmate always did have the touch of the atheist about him, and he had known that for many years. It didn't bother him then, it didn't bother him now.

However, slowly, the bond started to dissipate, and it pulled them apart. The pain was immense, and even the initial burning of the silver coursing through his body couldn't compare to this. This he had known before, and because he knew what was happening, as then he had not, Remus clung tighter to the bond and felt Sirius do the same.

It was to no avail, as the bond slipped away anyway, and he was left there in his grief, alone.

Then, it was as though he and Moony were one, as they had been on those nights so long ago as the foursome raced through the Forbidden Forest on the nights of the full moon. He could feel the firm ground beneath his paws as he raced to some unknown destination. Moony didn't know where they were going, only that they needed to get there, and as soon as possible. It was by instinct alone that Moony was going by, and unfortunately, for all his intellectualism, Remus couldn't help with this situation, so he sat back.

He was waiting, and watching for whatever was to come.

Finally, when he reached a clearing in the forest that Moony was racing through, he stopped, and looked up toward the sky. The light of the full moon shone down upon them, and Moony turned his nose to the moon and howled. There was an odd sort of magic in this air, a magic similar to that which had made him werewolf to begin with, yet different. There was the sense of something waiting, someOne waiting on him to arrive.

From Moony, he only got the sense that there were choices to make, and now. That things had changed, that things were changing, and that there were things that had to be done because of them. It felt as though things could not go back to as they were before, and they were caught with the consequences of what had happened.

Then, suddenly, there was a woman there, and Remus thought to back pedal as fast as possible, but Moony merely held his ground, and waited. There was something about this woman -- //not-woman// -- that called his attention, and not only the fact that Moony did not attack her as normally he would have done. The thirst for human flesh and blood had not ceased in Moony over his years of living with him, but there was a difference here that he couldn't discern under the current circumstances.

"Remus Lupin."

Then, all of a sudden, Moony was gone, and he was left standing there before her. He crossed his arms over his thin robes, and wondered what was going on.

"Yes."

"You know, you have scorned me," the woman said with a faint, almost smile touching at the corners of her mouth, "and in the very next breath, you have asked me for release."

"You never gave it."

"I had my reasons," was her only answer, which somehow angered Remus more. He moved to speak, but she held her hand out to him. "I am not here to discuss old grievances with you; there will be a time later where those grievances will come to pass, and we'll deal with it then. There are other, more important matters that we need to discuss."

Remus frowned. It might have been true, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

"You were always a very bright wizarding child, were you not?"

"I have been told so."

"You have also been with Moony, your wolf-part, for most of your life. I know, I was there that night of the full moon, and I saw. No, I did not stop it, for it is not my place to act in such things. However, what has happened tonight, far away from my forest in which you run, has changed the balance dramatically."

"There's too much silver in my blood right now," he stated. "Between the Wolfsbane I've been taking and the attack that I sustained today."

"Yes. You have a choice from here."

"There are choices."

"There are always choices, Remus Lupin," that odd smile touched her face again. "It is only whether we take those choices or not that matter."

"Well, then, what *are* my choices?"

"You can die. It would be understandable, and with, as you pointed out, all the silver in your blood, it is the expected result."

"But that is not the only choice."

"There are two others. You can return to life as you knew it, as a werewolf and a wizard and a bonded mate, although severely hampered by the amount of silver that has been running through your bloodstream..."

"Or?"

"You are a wizard, and a very smart one as well. You know that the wolf has been a part of you too long to be fully exorcised out. Many don't make it this far, don't get this last choice, but you know it well. Or, you should."

Remus looked at her for a moment, trying to puzzle out the meaning from the riddle that she had placed before him. He peered up at her, for in that moment, she towered over him slightly, "Are you the Sphinx?"

"Do I *look* like the Sphinx to you?"

He blinked at the odd sarcastic tone, which given the circumstances, was the last thing he had expected from her. Finally, the answer seemed within reach, and he reached for it. Pondering it a moment, he looked up at her, and understood.

"Animagi."

"Yes. Have you made your choice?"

He closed his eyes and contemplated the choices that she had laid in front of him. He could die, and finally have some measure of peace, but that would leave so many people who did care deeply about him without his presence. Sirius. In that moment, he thought of Sirius, and he didn't feel quite the need to take that particular choice. No matter how tired he was, somehow, when things were going right, Sirius found a way to make it a little better, a little less tiring.

Going back as a handicapped werewolf had no appeal for him. It was difficult enough as a non-handicapped werewolf. Which left the last choice. He let the ideas bounce around in his mind, and longed for the bond to allow him to bounce ideas off his mate. Then, there was the sound of an otherworldly laughter that brought his eyes open again.

"Do you not think that's why the bond with your mate was temporarily blocked? You have to make this choice for yourself, Remus Lupin, and for what *you* think is best. You know your own mind, surely enough, but your mate does have a tendency to influence you, if I'm not mistaken."

"Temporarily blocked? This time or the last."

"This time. The last you will know about shortly enough."

He nodded at her, "I have made my decision."

"I know. I know also what it is."

He turned to go, and to feel her Forest, if that was indeed where this place was, dissipate around him. He just wanted to get back, and rest, and talk to Sirius about this... whatever this place was, whatever had happened.

"You will not remember this when you return."

"I won't?"

"You will remember the conversations, and the knowledge, but the Forest, and Myself, you will not."

"Oh, I do think I do remember you," he chuckled softly. "After all the times I scorned you, and blamed you."

"Know one thing, Remus Lupin, before you turn away and leave me. I never turned my back on you, and while you fell under my keeping afterwards, I was not the cause of Moony residing within you. You and he, you're one and the same as things stand, and he knows this."

"And so do I," he smiled then. "Goodbye, Artemis."

Then everything fell into darkness once again before Remus drifted off into the first real sleep he'd had since before the war had started. Images flitted through his mind during that sleep. The image of Sirius holding his hand until he was dragged away by a very annoyed godson, the images of Diagon Alley, and a line that stretched on forever. The sound of Sirius' angry voice vied with Harry's voice, who seemed only to be attempting to understand something.

Suddenly, though, the dreams faded away, and he drifted back into consciousness. He blinked at the room he was laying in, with the bright colours and lights that he was no longer used to. He looked around for Sirius, who had been there, he felt. He should have been there, and with a puzzled thought, extended the question to his mate: 'Sirius? Sirius, where are you?'

There was the briefest moment of silence wherein he felt an echo of shock, then a very quietly asked, 'Remus?'

'Yes, love. I'm here, but you're not, and I'm wondering where you are, since you're not here.'

'Diagon Alley with Harry. You wouldn't believe what kind of store they have down here,' the disgust permeated his lover's tone.

'What's that?'

The image flew into Remus' mind, with the vividness of detail that was a part of Sirius' mind. The store was tucked into a small corner of the alley not taken by the other variety of stores that they knew so well. He made a mental squint at it, and the name of the store came into focus. Lupus Lunaticus. Slowly, as his mind was still getting accustomed to being awake and active once more, he made the translation clear. Moonstruck Wolf.

'In Godric's name, Sirius, don't tell me that's what I think it is!'

There was the sense of a grim nod. 'A store about werewolves and how wonderful they are with a line from here to the Leaky Cauldron of people who are wanting to get inside and see what they have to offer. Note, it was due to you that it was created, but...'

'But they're forgetting how dangerous werewolves can be, too. After the war we just got finished fighting, I wouldn't think they'd act to embrace that as quickly...' Remus scowled as anger took him. That they would forget so swiftly...

'People are fickle,' Sirius commented curtly. 'They forget so easily that there are werewolves that are dangerous, and just remember the good. That's almost as bad as things were before, where they forgot that there were those who were good and concentrated only on the darkness of the nature, but it seems to go to either extreme before finding a balance.'

Just then, the door swung open, and Sirius stood in the doorframe, looking calm and collected although Remus knew that he had to have rushed to get back as soon as possible. Remus made to rise and meet him, but Sirius made a gesture for him to stay. He waited patiently for an explanation, and finally, as Sirius moved into the room and sat in one of the chairs beside the bed, he received one.

"Sirius?"

"I just wanted to look at you for a moment."

"How long have I been unconscious?"

Sirius paused for a moment before he told him, "A month, and something happened to you during that month that nobody can even begin to explain..."

Remus just looked at him, and a memory nudged at his mind, leading him to ask, "I'm not a werewolf anymore, am I?"

"No," Sirius told him, but gave him a puzzled look. He'd have to explain later, then. "Not according to this."

Remus watched in shock as Sirius dropped a chart on the bed. He flipped through it until he got to the readings that he had had to have done every month for nearly thirty years now. The chart indicated something that, had it been applied to other vital readings, would have indicated his death. Instead, this indicated a lack of lycanthrophy.

"I suspect the mediwizards will be in shortly to make certain of this," Sirius told him, and Remus only nodded.

'What happened, love?' Sirius asked silently.

Remus pulled Sirius out of the chair, onto the bed, and into his arms. He held him tight for a moment before the words started tumbling out of his mouth in explanation, "I thought I'd lost you. I saw Peter coming after you and all I could think was that I had to protect you, no matter the cost. I knew the danger, I knew the risk, but I didn't care anymore. I just had to protect you from him. He's caused you so much pain. He's caused all of us so much pain."

"Not anymore, Remus. Not anymore."

"You're sure."

"I killed him," Sirius told him firmly. "You and I both know that his death has been coming for a long time. Maybe he was a friend once, but that changed the moment that he gave James and Lily away to Voldemort. No, it changed once Peter decided that he was going to actively try to separate the Marauders. First he took himself out of the picture as much as he could, then he started giving away our activities so that we were already suspecting each other. Then there was that final blow."

"So you came to terms with this?"

"I did... wait, that happened?" Sirius asked.

"It did."

Sirius sighed and buried his face in Remus' hair.

"So it's over then," Remus said, sagging against his lover with relief.

"On the contrary, mon ami," Sirius told him with a smile. "It's only just beginning."

In that moment, Remus knew that there was a lot that he'd have to discuss with Sirius, just as he had promised, but for the moment, there was only one thing he wanted to do. Pulling out of the embrace to look at him for a moment, Remus ran his fingers through that long, thick hair that he had loved for so long and pressed his lips to Siri's. Their kiss continued until it was rudely interrupted by mediwizards crashing in with matching amazed expressions on their faces.

'Love, promise me one thing.'

'What's that?'

'Don't let them turn me into a guinea pig.'

Sirius merely smiled as he slid off the bed so the mediwizards could do their exams and they could be on their way home. Then he stopped, looked at him, and mouthed the words "already done".