If Only
- Story Summary:
- Hermione laments how she could have saved Sirius Black.
- Posted:
- 07/27/2004
- Hits:
- 419
As I lie on the hospital bed of the school's infirmary, I fight with my eyes to stay dry. My eyes are closed, pretending to be asleep as I overhear Headmaster Dumbledore talking to Professor Snape nearby my bed while Madam Pomprey is busy attending to another patient several beds away. I open my eyes and look around.
Beside me, Ron is still unconscious, and on the bed next to him, Ginny is asleep, one of her ankles wrapped in a cast. I sneak a look at the two older wizards conversing. Dumbledore's eyes are very grave; Professor Snape's skin is turning pale though his expression in unreadable. Dumbledore is repeating to him the story of what had happened in the Department of Mysterious. I suppress a gasp at what I've just heard.
Sirius Black, Harry's godfather, has been murdered. He was standing on a dais in front of a large veil that hung underneath a tall arch. He was fighting Bellatrix Lestrange, his own cousin, when she sent the Stunning curse that knocked him backward. He fell through the veil. I have read about that very same veil about a year ago; no one ever comes back if they go through.
Sirius wasn't in danger after all, as Harry had envisioned in his dream during our History of Magic O.W.L.s exam. My assumptions were correct all along. It was a terrible trick of Lord Voldemort for he knew seeing Sirius in danger will bring Harry to where he wanted him. I silently curse myself for letting my dear friend run out and try to rescue him like that. I had a feeling this was all a trick even after Harry tried to contact Sirius through the fireplace of Professor Umbridge's office, but I did not show it. He won't believe me.
Harry was supposed to learn Occlumency, a magical way to close one's thoughts and emotions, but he did something brash and his studying in the field did not continue. However, he hasn't bothered practicing at all, even while Professor Snape still taught him. If only I was tougher on him. Sirius might still be alive.
But, this is not the only reason why I fight with my tears. There is another reason, a lethal mistake that I have made. As I have mentioned earlier, I have read about the veil about a year ago. It was, and still is, used as a means of execution on witches and wizards who are in Azkaban. Even though there were the Dementors and their kiss to take care of eliminating the souls of the criminals, there was still a body to deal with. So, the executioners, when the criminal was nearing elder age, would stick in only the upper portion of the body threw the veil. What remaining life of him or her would leave, and immediately they would die. The corpse would be pulled back out to be used as cadavers, or teaching tools for Healers in training.
However, sometimes it is not that easy. Since the convicts would be leaving Azkaban and moving to another area where Dementors didn't roam, some of the convicts regained some life back, and thus often fought for their lives. There were instances when the executioners were thrown into the veil as well. Instead of having themselves to carry the convict, the executioners had the convict lay on a wooden stretcher that slowly wheeled its way towards the veil that would not stop moving till it went completely through. But, this created a problem: just like Muggle executions, there is a time period in which if the executioners receive any call proving the convict's innocence, then he is not thrown into the veil. How does one accomplish this if the stretcher just keeps going? No known spell was affective on it.
So a spell was created that would form an ice-like covering around the veil if such an emergency were necessary: The Gelo Charm. The thickness of the ice would specially prevent the stretcher from going forward, thus preventing the convict and anyone else from going into the veil.
I had a chance to learn that spell. Impressed by my work after third year, Professor McGonagall offered to have me move up one year. This is perhaps my biggest and dumbest mistake I have ever made in my life. I did not want to be away from Harry and Ron. My fondest memories in Hogwarts are taking classes with them. They are the very first friends I ever had. I let my emotions take over; I did not move up. If I had, I would be in sixth year right now, and the sixth years are taught the Gelo Charm for its practicality in other areas of life. I read up on the spell a while back, but I did not practice it. If only I had. Sirius would still be alive.
I did not practice the spell on my own. With many other concerns such as O.W.L.s, the DA, freeing the house elves, and Harry, I found myself with no free time. I eventually assured myself it would never come in handy; we will never have need for it. I will never forget how I felt when I had in fact seen the veil while I and several others followed Harry in the search for Sirius. I was alarmed when Harry went near it. I had to call him back.
If only I practiced the spell. I would have cast it on the veil just to be sure that none of the search party would fall into it. If only I made time to learn the spell, just to be on the safe side. If only I wasn't too clingy on Harry and Ron and moved up one level; I would have known the spell by now. If only I learned the spell. Sirius might still be alive.