The Secret Journal of Lily Potter

Sep. 1 Dear Journal,

It's my sixth year now at Hogwarts. James is still sneaking off with Sirius and Peter every full moon. Remus disappears, too. It makes me so angry that he doesn't tell me where he goes! It me so mad! I can't trust him unless he tells me the truth. I think he's an unregistered Animagus. Little does he know that I'm trying to become one as well. Lilac told me not to, because I would get in trouble. I'm not going to listen to her. She may be my best friend, but she's wrong about this.

Her friend from America, Lila, is a real pain. I don't trust her. She copies every move Lilac makes. Some day that girl will be trouble. I just know it. She'll ruin everything that Lilac has worked so hard for. Lilac met her when she went to go visit her aunt in America. She also met a guy named Kurt there. She really likes him. He is going to come over here as a foreign exchange student. Hogwarts is going to try the program out; I don't think it will work.

Until next time!

Sep. 6 Dear Journal,

Kurt arrived today. He is really cute! No wonder Lilac likes him! Unfortunately Lila was with him. I despise that girl. If she does anything to hurt Lilac I swear I will kill her! Snape likes her though, but that boy has the worst kind of judgment I have ever seen!

James and his 'gang' were picking on Snape today. They were being so mean to him! I wish I could have done something! The only reason I couldn't was because they were on the grounds, and I was above them, watching the whole thing! James doesn't tease him in front of me because he knows it makes me so mad! I'm not going to talk to James for a full week because he was so mean! They are mean to him at least once a day.

Usually Malfoy helps Snape, but he wasn't there today. I wish he was, and then the boys would have backed off. Narcissa keeps telling me how mean my boyfriend is. I keep on telling her I try and stop James, but he just doesn't listen. Then she softens up, and tells me it's not my fault. That I try too be nice to everyone even if they are mean to me. That it's not my fault that my boyfriend is a jerk. Then, she asks me why I don't just dump James and find a new boyfriend. I told her that I was seriously considering it.

Even though Narcissa is a Slytherin, we still get along. We are both Prefects and are in the same study group. I wish James would join the study group, but he says he has more important things to do, Quidditch for example. He says if they win all of their games against Slytherin that they could get the house cup. I don't like Quidditch. Too many people get hurt. I don't watch the games. I have to go, people are coming, and I don't want them to find you.

'Till next time!

Sep. 23 Dear Journal,

You wont believe this! You absolutely will not believe this! James is going to be expelled. The groundskeeper, Solomon Zeke, caught James in the forbidden forest! I'm so mad at James! How could he do this? It makes no sense what so ever! What could he have possibly been doing? He's been asking for it! Sneaking around after hours! Making maps of the school, they have even come up with nicknames for each other! James is Prongs, Peter is Wormtail, Remus is Moony, and Sirius is Padfoot. Stupid names if you ask me.

James was very puzzled about why I wasn't talking to him. Then Lilac told them that I had heard them teasing Snape yesterday, and then we walked away. We stopped the minute we were out of sight and eavesdropped on them. James was really mad at himself. So mad he turned purple! Then Malfoy, Snape, Crabbe, and Goyle came along and started to tease James. I was sure happy about that, but then a fistfight broke out, and Lilac and I hurried away, so we wouldn't get punished.

All 8 of them got punished; they all have detention for a week. I think I am going to break up with James, or at least take a break from the relationship. James has just become so ruthless. He doesn't seem to care if he gets caught anymore, and he never has time for me. It really hurts me. Lilac said it would be for the best, that I need someone who will be there for me. I think she's right.

See you later.

Sep. 24 Dear Journal,

It appears that James was under the Imperious curse. They let him off. I think he was just faking the whole thing just to get out of trouble. Anyway, I'll have to wait to break up with him because he's currently surrounded be admirers. I can't even get to him. I wonder if he even notices I'm not there. I bet he doesn't. James doesn't notice things like that.

Today I saw Kurt kissing Lilac. I asked her about it and she said that they fell in love and now they're dating! I'm so happy for them that they are in love. Lila doesn't like it one bit! I think she's going to try and break them up. If she try's anything she'll be sorry she ever met me! I have to go. I have to get up early tomorrow and catch James before he has his first game.

Good-bye for now.

Sep. 25 Dear Journal,

I did it. I broke up with James. He was really mad. Our conversation went a little like this:

"James I need to talk to you."

"Okay, what is it?"

"I want to break up with you."

"Why?"

"You don't seem to have time for me anymore. You don't tell me the truth, and you never talk to me. I'm sorry James, but this relationship has to come to an end."

"So now you're being selfish Lily. You never have time for me! I hate you! I never want to see your stupid, ugly face again!"

And with that he stormed off. I ran back up to my bed and cried into my pillow. Lilac asked what was wrong, and I told her. She said that if a guy treats you that badly after you break up with him, then you did the right thing. She should know, last year a guy was using her, and he did the exact same thing James did. I know I did the right thing, but it doesn't make it any less painful. I have to go meet my study group.

I'll write later, journal.

Sep. 26 Dear Journal,

Everyone in my study group aggress I did the right thing. We were interrupted by the game a few times with the cheering of the crowd. We always study during the game, because we really don't like Quidditch. The group consists of the following: Lilac, Narcissa, Roxanne Abbott, Simone Brocklehurst, Rose Perks, and myself. We all are the best in our classes.

My study group decided to go to Hogsmead together. Narcissa usually goes with Lucius Malfoy, but she decided that she should go with us. We are kind of like a sorority. Everyone thinks we're weird because we are from different houses, but we get along. Well I better get ready for tomorrow, I want to be rested for Hogsmead.

Until I write tomorrow journal.

Sep. 27 Dear Journal,

I just got back from Hogsmead. It was really fun. We stoked up on candy. We all decided to start collecting candy so if anyone felt like I did we can all share. Narcissa said that she thinks Lucius is cheating on her. We're all going to try and find out. I would ask James, but I refuse to speak to him until he apologizes.

I saw Lila hitting on Kurt. I don't want to tell Lilac because I don't think Kurt was hitting on Lila. Kurt is really loyal to Lilac. I think he might be the one for her. Lila is turning into a major problem. I don't trust her and I never will.

So-long journal!

Oct. 3 Dear Journal,

James is already dating another girl. He has forgotten about me. I don't care. The annual Christmas Ball is coming up. It is only for 6^th and 7^th years. The rest of the school is totally oblivious to it. They want it to be a surprise. They have told us really soon because this year we have to make our own dresses (the girls I mean) and the guys have to make their own suits. Next time I go to Hogsmead I'm going to go and buy the materials I need. My study group is going to each other with our dresses. I can't wait!

My study group meets tomorrow. We have a huge potions test Wednesday. I know James won't study for it. He likes to wing things like this. The test is worth half of our grade for the semester. I have to go now so I can get some more potion notes. The professor is giving out extra notes to anyone who comes. My study will probley be the only ones there. I have to go or I will miss the notes!

Good-bye!

Oct. 4 Dear Journal,

We all had a great time! We studied until twelve, and then Professor Dumbledore came in and told us to go to bed. We didn't realize how late it was, it was so embarrassing! I swear we could have been there till dawn. We are going to Hogsmead this Friday so we can get the supplies for our dresses! I can't wait. Anyway I have to go to bed, test tomorrow, remember?

Goodnight!

Oct. 7 Dear Journal,

I got the supplies for my dress! The fabric is green and I have gemstones, pearls, and little white doves. I also have a pearl drop trim. All I have to do is find jewelry for it. We start to work on them tomorrow. I have to find a date for the ball. James already has one. I miss him; I wish I had him back. I have to talk to him tomorrow. I also aced my potions test! I'm felling a little ill, so I better get to bed.

Goodnight!

Oct. 10 Dear Journal,

You wont believe this! Narcissa brook up with Lucius! I couldn't believe it! The she told me that he was going to have a duel with James tonight! I can't believe it! I have to go find James, warn him not to go! Narcissa is doing the exact same thing with Lucius! Even though we brook up with the boys, we still care about them! This is my fault! If I hadn't brook up with James none of this would have happened! I have to go find him! Now!

Night Dear Journal,

I couldn't find James. I looked everywhere for him! I can't believe he just disappeared! Wait! There's someone in the hallway, I'll be right back...

It was James! Unfortunately, he was drunk. And didn't recognize me. He'll probley have a headache tomorrow. Oh well! I'm off to bed! Good night!

Oct. 14 Dear Journal,

James and I got back together! I'm so happy! He said that he missed me and was sorry for the way he had treated me! He said the only reason he had gone out with another girl was to get back at me! I told him that I had missed him to. He asked me to the ball and I said yes! Narcissa also got back with Lucius! I'm happy for them both! James doesn't like that I'm hanging out with Slytherins. He wants me to stop seeing her. I said no. I told him that I really enjoyed being around her. He understood then. He said if it made me happy, it made him happy. He is so sweet!

Oct. 16 Dear Journal,

I can't believe what I just saw! I was so incredibly gross! I shudder just to think at what I just saw. I don't even want to tell you. But it would probley make me feel a lot better. But, no I just can't! It's too disgusting! I don't want to think about it! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I can't get it out of my head! Lila! OHHH! How could she? She probley put him under a spell! OHHHHHHHHHH!!! Now I have to tell Lilac! It's going to hurt her so much! How could Kurt do such a thing! I'm truly disgusted! How can I tell Lilac that I saw her boyfriend, Kurt, and her friend, Lila, having sex! I can't believe this! OHHH! I think I'm going to faint! Well I have to tell Lilac, so I better go and do it know before someone else tells her!

Oct. 17 Dear Journal,

Lilac has been in tears all day! I feel so sorry for her. I didn't tell her, though it would have been easier I think. Poor girl, she actually saw the whole thing herself! Now she isn't eating or talking. All she does is cry! That girl is going to make herself sick! We have study club tonight and I hope that will cheer her up! I have the skirt for my dress outlined! It is going to be a really big skirt! I have to get old fashion petticoats for it, but it should look really cool! Lilac doesn't think she'll go. If she doesn't go on her own free will, I'll drag her there myself! And that's that!

Later Dear Journal,

Study club worked! Everyone was very sympathetic! Lilac feeling a lot better! She says she's going to talk to Kurt about what happened! I have to go. James has a Quidditch game and I promised him I would talk to him before the game, so I better keep that promise! So-long!

Oct. 19 Dear Journal,

I was right! Kurt was under a spell. He told Lilac that he would never do anything to hurt her. We know because we used a truth spell. Just wait until I get my hands in that stupid, fuckin, girl! I swear I will kill her! I haven't seen her but when I find her... AHHHHHHHH! I'm so mad! I have to go before I start ripping you up! Bye!

Oct. 26 Dear Journal,

AHHHHHHHHHH!! That girl drives me nuts! I can't stand Annamaria Westbrook! I just don't like her! My father this, my father that, it will never end! I wouldn't mind if she talked about her mother Arabella Figg, I mean at least she's nice! I admire her mother. She is one of the only women who didn't change their last name when she got married! I respect that.

I decided what kind of top I'm going to have. I'm going to have a strapless top. But then I'm going to add gold chain with little gemstones on it as the straps. I'm going to have four of these chains on each side. It will be really neat! Also I am planning to buy some enchanted shoes. I want them to be made out of glass! HEHEHE! Anyway I really need to go to bed. Night!

Oct. 31 Dear Journal,

I bought some shoes, there are not made of glass though, there're crystal. I have my dress sewn together. The top and the skirt are sewn together. I have to decorate it now. Lilac's dress is pink. It's really pretty! Tonight at study club we are all going to start to decorate our dresses. Narcissa's dress is really pretty. It is royal blue! She looks really good at it. To nights Halloween! I have to go to the feast now! Bye!

Nov. 3 Dear Journal,

James is hurt! I can't believe it! How could something like this happen? The Dark Lord struck Hogwarts on Halloween. So many people were hurt. Mostly it was boys because they were the ones who tried to defend Hogwarts. James was one of them! Only two people are dead the headmaster and Solomon Zeke! I can't believe it! Now that Solomon Zeke is dead Rubeus Hagrid is talking over his responsibilities. And Albus Dumbledore is the new headmaster! I have to go! James is a wake and asking for me! Talk to you later, bye!

Nov. 6 Dear Journal,

James is okay. We are all really sad though. More people died from injuries. We are holding a funeral on November 26^th and we all have to wear black. I'm sad. I'll talk later; I have to go check on James.

Nov. 12 Dear Journal,

I might as well tell you about something happy. I know what everyone's dress color is! Roxanne's is red, Simone's is purple, and Rose's is yellow. We are half way through decorating. I'm sad about what happened. I found a black dress and matching hat I'm going to wear to the funeral though. Talk to you later, bye.

Nov. 18 Dear Journal,

This can't be happening! The guys of the school are going to go after He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! How could they be so striped! They are going to leave after the funeral! I can't let James go! There must be some way to stop them from going! The girls of the school are going to get together and see if we can find a way. I have to go to that meeting right now! Bye!

Nov. 24 Dear Journal,

We have been discussing what to do now for a few days. We think that no matter what we do the boys will leave. The professors aren't going to try and stop them; they're going to go with them! Some of the girls want to go to, and we can't make them stay. Professor Dumbledore is going to keep this whole thing a secret because if we were to tell then it would be the end of Hogwarts. Somehow I think that someone will tell in one way or another. All the girls are working on their dresses to keep there minds off what happened. I wouldn't work on mine until the funeral is over. The guys have already packed their bags. The professors have packed too. About all of the girls are going to. My study group is the only ones who aren't. They're even letting the first years go! Dumbledore is even going! How can this be happening? How come my life is so messed up? Why me?

Nov. 26 Dear Journal,

We just had the funeral. It was really sad. All the girls were crying. The guys had a locked their jaw had had a really mad look in their eyes. All the Professors were really mad. I was really frightened by the way they all looked. The service was really sweet. A lot of people got up and spoke. Dumbledore had a really nice speech. I have a copy and I'm going to copy it down.

Tragedy has touched us all. This has been one of the worse tragedy's Hogwarts has every seen. So many of you have been touched in ways some grownups never will be. You have been strong. You have made it through these tough times. You have been the ones who made it through. Not many grownups could do what you have done. Know we must stick together and help each other through these tough times. Do not give up. Help each other. Make everyone feel good. Tragedy can't tear us apart now. Do not let it!

Many of your friends were hurt. You may think that it was stupid of them to go and get themselves hurt. But they are the reason you are here now. If they had not driven back the Death Eaters, you would have all been killed. They are heroes. They deserve the recognition that everyone should know about. Unfortunately, we cannot give this recognition. The world must never know what happened. Everyone who is going, please get ready to leave.

I have to go now. They are getting ready to leave. I'll write more later when I say good-bye...

Dear Journal,

They left. There gone. We have been alone for two days. I feel nervous. I think something going to happen. It is so silent that I can hear the house-elves talking in the kitchen. Wait... something's here! I have to go! I'll write later...

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