Sacrifices

madilayn

Story Summary:
The War is over. Harry seeks to find meaning behind a sacrifice that was made, and Ginny helps to find that meaning. Afterwards, Harry changes his point of view about Ginny.

Posted:
01/26/2004
Hits:
416
Author's Note:
WARNING: Character death.


Ginny couldn't stop staring. Damn. She thought that she had had it under control. After all, she had managed to date other boys. She had even fancied herself in love with a couple of them.

He looked at her and she quickly looked away. He always caught her looking at him. She couldn't help herself, her gaze automatically locking onto him when she was not doing anything else. It wasn't as if he was particularly handsome - not in the conventional way. But there was something about him. Not because he was the boy who lived, but... if she could put her finger on it, perhaps she would have a chance to cure herself.

That is, if she wanted to. And Ginny Weasley definitely did not want to.

She watched him take off his glasses and clean the lenses. His face was filthy and the tears that ran from his eyes left clean tracks on his face. She wanted so much to go to him. To hold him close, whisper that everything would be all right.

But she knew it wouldn't. She knew that nothing could bring back all those lost lives. She knew why he was crying, could see the body of Remus Lupin lying at his feet. At her feet. A look of peace on his face that was not there when he had been alive.

Harry put his glasses back on, and wrapped his arms around himself.

Ginny gave in. She stood and moved around the body of their dead comrade. She wrapped her arms around Harry, and he returned the embrace, his head buried in her shoulder, his shoulders shaking as his grief was released.

Grief not only for Lupin, but also for Sirius, Dumbledore, Snape, and yes, even Pettigrew and Voldemort. Grief for all the sorrow that had touched their lives. Needless tragedy and loss.

She pressed her cheek to the top of his head and then kissed it softly, her hand coming up to stroke the dark hair.

How long they stood there, she had no idea. She remembered his arms tightening around her, drawing her closer, their embrace becoming more "aware". No longer the innocent embrace of friends.

Heads were raised, and they separated; however, Harry took the hand of the girl he had been embracing. Their fingers entwined and he gazed into her eyes as though seeing her for the first time.

"So many lost." His voice was rough with emotion and he looked again to the figure at his feet. This was the last connection to his parents. This was the man who was his unofficial godfather. This was the man whose love for Sirius Black was the stuff of legends.

This was the man whose quiet strength had unconsciously given Harry the strength to go on. And this was the man who had willingly given his life for the child of his heart.

"Why, Ginny? Why did they have to die?"

She knew what he was asking. Why did Remus sacrifice himself? She could see the guilt in Harry's eyes. Guilt that yet another person had given their life to save his.

"He did it for love, Harry. I don't think he even thought about it. You know Remus often said that you were the child of his and Sirius' heart, and his instinct to protect you was so strong it overrode everything else. "

"I didn't ask him to. I asked him to stay away. I needed him to live."

"You never truly expected him to. For all his gentleness, Remus would never back away from a fight. For him, it was no sacrifice. He was tired of living, Harry. Tired of being alone."

"He wasn't alone."

"Yes, he was alone, Harry. When Sirius died, most of what was left of Remus died also. Only that small part that was yours kept him alive. Kept him from following after Sirius. He lived for you, and his death was part of that. Be happy for him, Harry. He's with Sirius now. For always. He won't be lonely any more."

Harry looked at her again. Little Ginny was always surprising them with her insights. No. She was not Little Ginny anymore. She was Ginny - strong and loving. How had he not noticed before? How had he missed the depth of her love for him?

"You obviously spent a lot of time talking to Remus."

"And Sirius, when he was alive. They wanted me to know how they felt about you."

"Why you? Why not Ron or Hermione?"

"Because Ron and Hermione don't love you as much as I do. Remus and Sirius knew and wanted to know me."

"Sirius?"

"He saw a lot more than he seemed to, Harry."

"I thought you were in love with...."

"I was infatuated with all of them, Harry," Ginny interrupted. "I've only ever loved you. I hoped that the others would make you notice me. Make you see that I was something more than Ron's little sister."

Harry laughed, his heart lifting at her words. He felt some of the grief leave him, the knowledge that this quiet girl - no, woman! - had loved him for all those years without saying anything. Silently making him feel protected.

"I'm looking now, Ginny. I can see clearly now."

"And?"

"I definitely don't think of you as Ron's little sister."

Ginny smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips. "That's a start".


Author notes: Ok. I KNOW I will get flack because I killed of Remus. I hated doing it - in fact I cried bucketfulls of tears about it. However, I do believe what Ginny says about him. This is the last time I will write a dead Remus - it's just too traumatic for me.