Key West Overture

PETER

"Don't you think that's a tad ungrateful of you?" Sirius snarled at me, long strands of black hair falling in his eyes as he swatted away the cloud of smoke from his cigarette. "Moony buys you a thank-you present, and you won't even smoke them!"

I looked quickly to James, hoping for sympathy, but found only the same impatient glare I'd received from Sirius. "C'mon, Wormtail. It's not going to kill you, you know? We're all doing it, and look...we're fine!"

"But...but..." I stammered, my eyes darting back and forth between the three of them. The sweat on my forehead was half from the sweltering Key West summer heat, half from the pressure they were putting on me. "The Daily Prophet did a report...said muggle cigarettes caused cancer. I...I don't want to get cancer!"

Sirius smacked the back of my head. Hard. I wondered if he knew how much it hurt. "Don't be thick, Wormtail. You're not going to get cancer from one fag! Or perhaps we should take it back to England with us and have Snivellus have a look? He'd know if there was any 'dark magic' in it!"

Sniv...Severus...that reminded me.... I'd promised to be in touch with Severus about the meeting I'd missed. That could be tricky, though. I'd have to wait until I had a moment away from the boys. They'd have killed me if they ever found out I was friends with Severus Snape, and especially if they knew where I'd gone with him the previous week.

"It's alright," Remus mumbled, flicking the ashes off the end of his own cigarette. He looked as if he'd been doing this all his life, a real pro in the art of smoking. I knew better. "Peter doesn't have to smoke if he doesn't want to. After all, we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him, would we?"

Now, there was a man who talked some sense! Of course they wouldn't have been here if not for me. Well, if not for my aunt, that is, who happened to have an unoccupied beach house in the Florida Keys. It was nice, being here in the States for the summer holidays, just the four of us. Seventh year would come soon enough, but for now it was time to relax and take a break from all the hectic schoolwork and surly professors. Although, I could have done without the taunting from James and Sirius....

"It's fine, Moony," I grumbled, staring daggers at Sirius as I snatched a cigarette out of the pack on the table and shoved the thing into my mouth. "Anything to get Padfoot to shut up." God, this thing tasted disgusting already.

"Wrong end, you git!" James snapped, chuckling as he pulled the cigarette from between my lips and turned it the other way. From his pocket, he produced a small lighter and lit the end. "Now, inhale."

I did as he said, but that couldn't have been right, because immediately I was launched into the most severe coughing fit I'd ever experienced. Remus patted me hard on the back, trying to quell my spasms, but James and Sirius had already fallen out of their chairs, cackling like two complete nutters.

"God, Wormtail!" laughed Sirius as he hauled himself up against the edge of the table. "Maybe you shouldn't be smoking after all!"

I took a moment to recover, then shooed Remus off of me, glaring at James now. "Did I mention I have asthma?"

"Sucks to your asthma!"

James raised an eyebrow to Sirius and smacked him lightly upside the head, ruffling his hair and thereby annoying him greatly. "'Sucks to your asthma'? Padfoot, honestly, what the bloody hell are you talking about?"

"Sorry," Sirius snickered. "Nothing, it's from a book I read once...Lord of the Flies...there's this boy Piggy...oh, forget it!" He snuffed out the end of his cigarette against the ashtray in the middle of the table. "This has all been good fun, but why don't we get going to the beach house?"

"Good idea," said Remus. I had to agree. We'd flooed into Tropical Magic, Key West's one and only wizard-friendly restaurant and tiki lounge, over an hour ago and hadn't been to the beach house yet. Of course, that was no problem, as Mrs. Potter had been kind enough to have our luggage magicked directly to the house from London, but it would still be a good idea to stop in and see that everything had arrived.

Sure enough, it had. The moment we threw open the double doors of the house, I spotted all four of our trunks stacked in the front room. James rushed in immediately and snatched his out from the very bottom, sending the other three trunks toppling noisily to the floor. He turned and gave us a sheepish smile. Sirius went wild with laughter.

"Well," I huffed, gesturing to the room before us. "This is the living room, and just beyond that door to the left is the kitchen."

"Kitchen? Food!" Sirius exclaimed, dashing off in the direction I had indicated. "Yea gods, I'm starving!"

"Sirius, we just...oh, never mind!" I led Remus and James into the hallway and motioned to two rooms on either side of us. "These are the bedrooms, two beds in each. Both have their own toilet. I don't know who's sleeping where."

"Sirius and I will take this one," Remus replied quickly, lugging his trunk into the bedroom on the right. He came back for Sirius', but James protested.

"He's a big boy, Moony," said James, smirking slightly. "He can get it himself."

Remus shook his head. "It's no trouble, really," he sighed, and without another word he hauled Sirius' heavy trunk into the same bedroom.

James shrugged. "Guess we should follow suit?"

My gaze settled heavily on the trunks lying haphazardly at our feet. Merlin, that thing looked heavy. I silently cursed the Ministry of Magic for coming up with that pesky little rule about not using magic outside of school.

"Very well," I groaned, and James and I bent to lug our trunks into the bedroom on the left. It was a nice room, not particularly opulent, but very clean and spacious, the bigger of the two, actually. The beds were quite comfortable, I discovered as I plopped onto the one nearest the bathroom.

"I take it your claiming that one for yourself?" said James with a smile as he heaved his trunk onto the second bed.

"You don't mind, do you?"

He shook his head. "Not at all," he said. "How 'bout a tour of the rest of this place?"

"Oh, of course!" I exclaimed, popping immediately up from the mattress and leading James back into the hallway. "There's not much left really...a master bath down the hall. Oh, and the balcony, of course. Remus, come on!"

But Remus had found the balcony for himself already. He stood with his back to us, sunlight reflecting brightly upon his blonde hair, both arms perched on the grass-green railing, gazing out over the beach, the perfect picture of utmost tranquility.

"Good stuff," Sirius mumbled, mouth full of sandwich as he sauntered into the living room again. His eyes moved from James and me to Remus on the balcony, then back to James and me. He lifted a finger to his lips, shushing us, and motioned for us to follow. I hadn't a clue what was going on, but James seemed to. He grabbed me tightly around the arm as if to say, "Hang back a bit." I did. Sirius continued on ahead.

"Nice, isn't it?" I heard him say softly as he flung himself over the railing next to Remus.

Remus turned his face toward him and gave him a slight smile. Was I seeing things, or were his eyes really glazed over with tears? "Yeah," said Remus. "It's just...it's my first trip to the ocean. This is the first time I've ever seen it properly. I don't know, it's just so...."

"Big?" Sirius offered.

Remus snorted. "Your command of the English language is astounding, Padfoot."

Sirius reached over and mussed Remus' hair with one hand. "What word were you looking for, then?"

"'Vast', actually," Remus mumbled, smirking.

"Means practically the same thing as 'big', doesn't it?"

Remus laughed and shook his head. "It's all in the sound of the word. How you express something is more important than what you mean, don't you think?"

Sirius didn't answer. The question, after all, did seem kind of rhetorical. Instead, he slung one arm over Remus' shoulders, and both of them turned their attention back to the ocean.

I looked to James. He had both arms crossed over his chest and was grinning from ear to ear, as if he had any reason at all to be smug and satisfied.

"What are you looking so happy about?" I muttered, staring quizzically at him.

James shook his head. "Nothing," he sighed, moving out of the living room and toward the hallway. "Nothing at all...."

Not for the first time in my life, I felt as if I'd missed something.

~* / / / / / ~ * ~ *~

SIRIUS

He hated his reflection.

I knew it. I'd known since our first year at Hogwarts. More often than not, he wouldn't bother looking himself over, would simply turn to either James or Peter or myself and ask, "Do I look alright?" as if our approval was all that mattered to him. Sometimes I thought maybe it was.

I was the only one who refused to indulge him.

Usually, I let him off easy, told him to ask James or Peter instead of me, although neither were authorities, really, when it came to style. But other times, if it was just the two of us, I would make him look, make him face himself and see the person looking back. Tonight wasn't going to be any different.

He stood now in front of the wardrobe mirror, running one hand absently down the buttons of his blue shirt, over the hips of his tight-fitting--and wholly out-of-character--denim bellbottoms. I half expected him to turn to me and ask like an insecure housewife, "Does this make me look fat?", although I'd smack him if he ever did. One hundred forty pounds wringing wet, Remus Lupin could never look fat.

"Why do you do that?"

Remus didn't turn around. He met my gaze in the mirror instead. "Do what?"

"Avoid your face," I said. "Any time you look in the mirror, you always avoid looking at your face."

"I don't know," Remus mumbled, shrugging his slim shoulders. "I think it's because I always see the wolf. In my eyes, I mean. You know that old wives tale, about dark creatures not having a reflection? Sometimes I wish it were true."

I bit my lip hard. I would've reminded him that he was essentially human, human where it counted, not a dark creature, but I'd been through this argument with him a hundred times. All three of us had.

"You should really look at your face," I said somberly. "You have a very handsome face."

That certainly wasn't a lie. He had a mop of messy blonde hair...eyes that were sometimes amber, sometimes green, depending on any number of factors...sharp, angular cheekbones...a slightly freckled, slightly upturned nose...a delicate mouth, one that was indeed more likely to kiss you than to bite you....

"You would say so, wouldn't you?" he snapped, pulling me from my reverie. He was grinning deviously at my reflection. "And I'm sure I know where you'd like my handsome face to be."

Not fair. Point, Remus. I sunk my teeth harder into my lip. "You wanna put your handsome face there right now?"

A slight chuckle escaped Remus' mouth as it stretched from a grin into a full-fledged Cheshire Cat smile. "We don't have time, you mangy mutt. Peter and James are probably waiting on us right now."

"Let them wait," I purred, putting on the most convincing pouty face I could muster as I moved lithely up behind him and coiled my arms around his tiny waist. His hair smelled like heaven and suddenly I'd begun to feel a teensy bit intoxicated. Too much sunlight, perhaps? Yeah, right. I smiled against the tender flesh of his throat. "Remus, don't be a tease."

"I'm not being a tease."

"Yes, you are," I whispered, breathing hotly against him as I pulled his body flush against mine so that he could feel what it was, precisely, he had teased into existence.

"You should get dressed, Sirius."

"But I thought you liked me naked...."

He might have been ready to protest. I didn't care. Any objections he might've uttered died on his lips, coming out instead as a soft moan as I covered his throat with manic kisses. For an instant, our eyes met in the mirror, and then Remus' fluttered shut. He turned in my arms, wrapping his own around my shoulders as his lips met mine in a fierce, demanding kiss. His mouth opened to me easily. He tasted like toothpaste and aftershave and something uniquely Remus. Whatever it was, I liked it.

He tore his mouth away from mine and stared up at me through half-lidded eyes, panting.

"If you're so anxious to do this right now, we're going to have to set a world record for time," he said. No sooner had he spoken than he dropped to his knees, hands sliding down the front of me before situating themselves over my knobby hips.

"I don't think you have to worry about that," I laughed, tangling one hand in his mess of shaggy hair. "I'm in no position to--oh shit, Remus!"

My eyes bulged at the sensation of his mouth on me. I made the mistake of looking to my right, to where the wardrobe mirror stood. Remus made quite a picture there on his knees, eyes wrenched shut, fingers moving deftly over my hips and thighs, his mouth working so damned diligently on me. If he could have seen himself, I thought, he would never have hated his reflection. He would've thought he looked quite lovely. I thought he looked lovely.

Maybe too lovely....

I pursed my lips tightly to stifle the moan I knew better than to let fly as I came. The pull of his mouth seemed suddenly more forceful, and I reeled for a moment in the warm flood of pleasure that washed over me.

By the time I'd relearned to breathe, Remus was on his feet again, hands in my hair, face drawing close. Too close. I turned my head slightly so that his lips met my cheek.

"Sorry," I whispered. "I just really don't want to taste my own bodily fluids at the moment."

"'S okay," Remus sighed, perching his chin on my shoulder. He trailed his fingers down the length of my arm until he found my hand, which he snatched up and relocated to the sizeable protuberance between his legs. His face turned in slightly to nuzzle my neck. "My turn?"

My grip tightened. I think I may have gone hard all over again. I absolutely loved when Remus was in this aggressive kind of mood, probably because it was so rare an occurrence. "I suppose it's only fair, isn't--"

"Would you two get a bloody move on?!"

"Fuck!" I grunted as I fell away from Remus. I glared at the door, intending the nasty look for the annoying git who stood on the other side. "Prongs, will you kindly shut the hell up? We're coming!"

Remus caught the bad pun before I did and snorted. We're coming....funny. I was beginning to have a terrible influence on Remus' sense of humor, wasn't I?

"One minute!" James shouted. "If you aren't out of there in one minute, Wormtail and I are leaving without you!"

I scurried over to my own bed and jumped into my blue jeans, which proved to be the second thing I'd do in record time that evening. From my open trunk I grabbed a black T-shirt and pulled it on, not bothering to consider that it was ninety degrees outside and that black was by far the most impractical color to wear. I'd never really been one for practicality, anyway.

"Sorry 'bout that, mate," I muttered, offering a smile to Remus as he crossed the room. His hand stroked my shoulder, and he made a small noncommittal noise. The look in his eyes--they were green tonight--frightened me slightly. Angry? No, he wasn't angry. Disappointed, probably, and maybe a little sad. Sometimes I wished I had his preternatural wolf senses, so that I could tell what, exactly, he was feeling. Whatever it was, it made me a little ashamed of myself.

"I swear," I whispered, "I'll make it up to you later."

Remus shook his head. "Don't worry about it," he said, leaning in to plant a quick kiss on my cheek. I half imagined I could smell myself on his breath and shuddered. "Let's be off, or Jamie might break into a conniption fit."

Damn, he was good. If that had been me, I don't know if I'd have let him leave the room without giving me my comeuppance. Maybe that was the difference between Remus and me. Remus could wait. Remus had patience. I could've stood to learn a thing or two from him.

Sighing, I led the way out into the living room to reunite the familiar company that was Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. As for Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, whoever they were, I think we'd left them back in front of the bedroom mirror.

~* / / / / / ~ * ~ *~

REMUS

It had never dawned on me until that night what horrible whiners my three best friends were. James had spent the better part of our time downtown griping that the only places that let minors in were tasteless souvenir shops, while a sweat-soaked Peter complained incessantly about the heat. And Sirius, well...Sirius hadn't said much of anything at all, but if the quick lusty glances he threw at me and the countless times he let his fingers brush against mine were anything to go by, I'd have guessed that the only thing Sirius wanted to do was to go immediately back to the beach house and have a damned good and lengthy shag.

I'd have settled for that. Settling was something I did a lot of when it came to Sirius.

At any rate, I couldn't argue with any of the things James or Peter had said. Yes, it was hot, and yes, downtown Key West was certainly lacking in hot spots for kiddies such as ourselves. But I wasn't going to complain.

We'd just reached the edge of Mallory Square, a place James had called "the most unbearably touristy craphole ever shat into existence", and were nearing the ocean now--I could smell it--and all I wanted was to get as close as I could.

"C'mon," said James, pointing down the narrow lamp-lit road. "The pier's this way."

Peter ran to catch up to him. "Is that a live band down there?"

Indeed, it was. Stretched out before us was the most colorful mass of humans I had ever laid eyes on. Most were sitting at little round tables with umbrellas standing tall in the middle of them, sipping exotic drinks and laughing over vacation stories. Many, however, were on their feet, dancing wildly in front of a small stage, where a rock-'n'-roll band was playing some upbeat tune that I recognized from my childhood, something very guitar-oriented and a little head-trippy. My parents had, after all, been card-carrying flower children.

Sirius grabbed onto both James and me, directing us out into the crowd of dancing muggles. "I wanna dance!" he cried out, laughing. How could I argue with such childlike exuberance?

"But wait!" Peter shouted over the loud music, tugging at James' shirtsleeve. "I don't want to dance! I don't like dancing!"

"Then go somewhere else!" Sirius shouted back. Neither his smile nor the twinkle in his gray eyes ever faded. "Moony, Prongs, and I will be right here!"

At once, Sirius fell in step with the persistent beating of the drums, bobbing his head a little as he swayed elegantly from side to side. James and I shared a quick uncomfortable glance before following suit. Neither of us was nearly as graceful as Sirius when it came to dancing.

The song ended quickly enough, and the band moved into a slower tune. No sooner had the three of us had stopped moving than some brunette sex kitten came swishing toward us, running a hand carelessly across her bikini-clad breasts, and smiled seductively at Sirius.

"You wanna dance?" she purred. I twitched involuntarily. I hated when people purred. Sirius purred quite often, and that was only when he wanted something from me, when he wanted one thing from me--sex. I also hated that it usually worked like a charm.

"Sure thing," said Sirius, mustering his deepest, most debonair voice. I thought I might vomit right there, but another girl had approached, and this one, a blonde, had her eye on me.

"How 'bout you?" she drawled in an unmistakably southern accent.

I glanced nervously at James. "I can say no, mate, if you want--"

"It's fine," said James, lifting a hand in protest. "I'll just be over there by the railing. I swear, I'll be right back."

I nodded, wanting to say something more, something to convey just how terrible an idea dancing seemed at present, but he was already halfway through the crowd. Besides, the blonde had already wrapped her arms tightly around my shoulders. I wasn't going to get out of this one.

Next to me, Sirius had already fallen into conversation with the brunette bimbo about something or other, some club she'd been to, I think. I wasn't really listening. No, I was too busy studying the way Sirius' mouth curled up on the side anytime she spoke, the way his long black hair fell across the tiny arms she had around his neck, the way his hands had found a firm grip on her girlish little hips. And suddenly, a thought occurred to me--Sirius was slutty. Sirius Black was a bona fide, practiced slut.

I tore my eyes away and turned them over toward the railing, where James leaned backwards, one of his newly-purchased muggle cigarettes perched on his lip and a flask of what I knew was firewhiskey in hand. It was obvious exactly what the boy had on his mind: Lily.

"Listen," I said to the blonde, trying my damnedest to be gentle as I pried her arms from around my neck, "I'd better go talk to him. I think something might be wrong."

"Jamie's a big boy," Sirius snarled, not taking his eyes off the brunette. Honestly, was that the only argument Sirius and James could offer whenever someone wanted to do something kind for another of us? 'He's a big boy'...yeah, weren't we all? "He doesn't need you to babysit him, Remus."

I held back any nasty words I might've thrown at Sirius and opted instead to take the mature, gentlemanly way out. I simply walked away.

As I drew closer, James nodded his head in recognition and tossed his cigarette butt over the railing and into the ocean. "I take it blondes don't have more fun?" he quipped, chuckling as he took a quick slug of firewhiskey. "What was wrong with her, Moony? Too blonde? Too tan? Too perfect?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"No one was asking you to marry her, mate," he laughed. "It's just one dance. You don't have to be in love with the girl."

"Then why weren't you dancing with any girls?" I spat, perhaps a bit too sharply. James sighed. I didn't have to look at him to know this his hazel eyes had taken on that far-off, deep-in-thought look that James was so fond of donning. "You missing Lily?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "A little. I just...she was supposed to call tonight. I feel like I should be back at the house, you know, waiting on her to call. You want some of this?"

He held out the flask to me. I thought of protesting, and then, when I looked up and saw Sirius dancing with the new love of his life, who seemed to sway and gyrate with the abandon of a Dionysian priestess, although I doubted that bimbo had a clue who Dionysus was, reconsidered the offer.

I couldn't stand watching him, not right now, although I realized just how childish and silly I was being. What did I expect from Sirius, fidelity? He wasn't my boyfriend, no matter how much I would have loved to stamp him with that title, and it wasn't as if we'd ever vowed to keep this thing between us, whatever it was, exclusive. Sirius was more than welcome to shag whomever he pleased. Why should dancing have been any different?

Suddenly I was missing Lily, too. Lily would have listened to me, wouldn't have judged, would have shown concern and compassion and known precisely what to do. Why hadn't we let James bring her along, despite all his incessant pleading?

Why? Because this trip was supposed to be solely for the men folk, a week of freedom from those pesky little problems that only women, of course, brought about, problems like love and confusion and jealousy.

Why did it seem now that perhaps women were not the problem?

"Gimme that," I grunted, snatching the flask out of James' hand and taking a swig. I'd forgotten just how much I hated the taste of firewhiskey.

"Padfoot seems to be enjoying himself."

"Padfoot's a slut," I muttered, a bit shocked at having said the words aloud. But God, wasn't it the truth?

"Is that why you were so quick to claim him as a roommate?" James laughed. "Thought you might get a little tail, did you? He's quite the dog, after all, isn't he?"

Needless to say, James was completely unaware of just how much tail I'd been getting from Sirius. Or rather, how much tail he'd been getting from me. I didn't "get tail," so to speak. In the six months that we'd been messing around like this, Sirius had been careful to display a near-perfect ignorance of the front side of my body. And when Sirius said things like "I'll make it up to you," it wasn't usually a promise I could count on.

"Sirius is the best when it comes to controlling Moony," I offered. It wasn't a total lie. "You know how sometimes Moony can come out just before the full moon. We'll be back by the time it gets here, but just barely. Sirius can keep Moony under control if I need him to."

"Besides," I added as an afterthought, "you and Peter both snore really loud."

And that definitely wasn't a lie.

"Hey!" James exclaimed, landing a friendly punch on the side of my arm before taking another drink of his firewhiskey.

I smiled sadly. I wanted to tell him everything suddenly, wanted to tell him how hopelessly and devastatingly in love I was with his very best friend in the world. I wanted to tell him how Sirius and I had been "experimenting," as Sirius so scientifically put it, for months. I wanted to tell him that I wanted it to be so much more than that, but that I settled for what I could get. I wanted to ask him why Sirius had to be...Sirius, why Sirius always had to take everything he could get from a person, why it was so hard for Sirius to feel the way I felt?

But I didn't say any of that. Instead, James and I sat together in silence, and James cursed the heat and his boredom while I cursed my inability to change things from the way they were to the way I'd always wanted them to be.

And meanwhile, an oblivious Sirius Black continued to dance.

~* / / / / / ~ * ~ *~

JAMES

"Prongs!" shouted Peter from the living room. "It's Lily for you!"

Sirius peeked his head around the bedroom door, wild black hair flying every which way. "How in the bloody hell does she do that?" he chuckled. "We just walked in, after all! I swear, that bird and her timing!"

"Would you be a mate and help me up, Padfoot?" I muttered, reaching one hand helplessly toward him. Sirius made some stuffy comment about me and firewhiskey, then hoisted me off of the bed and carried me, quite literally, into the living room, where Peter handed me the telephone.

"Lily, darling!" I exclaimed, a bit too loudly, catching my reflection in the large mirror behind the couch. I couldn't help winking at myself.

"James, sweetheart, I thought I'd already taught you how to use a telephone properly. You don't have to shout, I can hear you fine."

I loved listening to her talk. Her voice was so gentle, even when she was scolding me, and I wanted to wrap myself up in all her red hair and take a nice long nap. Sleep...sleep sounded really fantastic....

"James? James, are you listening?"

I perked up suddenly. "Oh, what! What'd you say? I didn't hear you!"

Sirius laughed at me. "Prongs, do you realize you're screaming?"

"I said, Petunia's being a right bitch and trying to hurry me off the phone. It's really late here, after four in the morning. Are you tipsy, darling?"

"Oh...oh no, love!" I said, shaking my head violently as if Lily could actually see me. Well, it was the truth. I wasn't tipsy; I was certifiably smashed. "I just...me and Moony had a little firewhiskey, is all. He's already gone off to bed, I think."

I looked to Sirius to verify this. He nodded his head.

"We went out on the town," I drunkenly continued, "made a real night of it. You and I gotta come down here sometime together. It's real fun, Lils. You'd love it!"

"I'll love anything as long as you're not falling head over heels for some American hussy."

I chuckled. "No, I think Padfoot took care of that already."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Sirius' head snapped up, and he glared at me with that look in his eye that told me if I didn't shut up, I'd be slaughtered at his hand. "Did not."

"Fine, fine!" I said, motioning for him to calm down. I didn't see what all the fuss was about. "But you'd be real proud of me, baby. I didn't even look at a girl tonight, 'cos none of 'em were near as pretty as you!"

Lily laughed into the phone. "Well, that's all good and fine, but it would probably be more meaningful if you weren't drunk. Tell you what, I'll call you in the morning when you're a bit more coherent, alright, love? Besides, I think Petunia's about ready to break into my room and strangle me."

I closed my eyes and smiled contentedly. "Wonderful, darling."

"Goodnight, James," she said in that soft, elegant voice I so adored. "I love you."

I smiled, an involuntary reaction to those three words. "Love you back."

There was a click on the other end, and the line went dead. I stumbled for a minute to put the phone back on the base and when I couldn't Peter came to the rescue, prying it from my fingers and setting it where it belonged.

"You're in a splendid state tonight," he muttered, waddling off. "I'm going down for the night. See you two in the morning."

Sirius nodded, speaking for both of us as I was indisposed for the moment. Once Peter had scuttled down the hallway, Sirius crossed the room and lifted me bodily from the sofa.

"Come on, you," he grunted, wrapping a firm arm around my waist and directing me toward my bedroom. "You are going to feel like absolute shit in the morning, Prongs. I don't know what got into you, but you've had far too much to drink."

"Why don't you go pick on Moony?" I grumbled as I fell through the bedroom door and stumbled miraculously backward onto my own bed. "He's had just as much to drink as I have, you know."

"Has not."

"Has too."

"Has not," he snapped. "Now, shut up and go to bed! And don't go bothering Wormtail. Merlin knows he needs all the beauty rest he can get."

"Hey!" Peter whined, but that was the end of his rebuttal.

Sirius had already slammed the door shut.

I was about to say something more, something about Sirius and Remus and what I knew they'd be getting up to if Remus had downed enough firewhiskey to forgive Sirius for being a right arsehole, but I had enough sense left to know better. What Remus and Sirius didn't want to tell me was their own business. It wasn't my place to bring up the mysterious sexual goings-on in the lives of my two best friends, no matter how poor a job they did at keeping their secrets hidden, what, with all that 'wandering off' together and the knowing glances and the playful banter.

Besides, approximately three minutes and twenty-nine seconds later, the world went black.