Key West Finale

PETER

Take three anxious, fun-loving teenage boys, put 'em in the Florida Keys, feed 'em a quick fib about not feeling well, and see if you don't get a quiet beach house all to yourself for the evening. I may not have been the brightest or best-looking or most popular of the Marauders, but I had my own tricks up my sleeve.

Ten o' clock found me reclining on my aunt's monstrous living-room sofa with James' two-way mirror propped against my knees. Staring back at me was the boy who possessed the second mirror, borrowed from my dear friend Sirius. This boy was Severus Snape, cloaked in black woolen robes and scowling as usual. A fleeting thought regarding how James and Sirius would react to learning who now possessed their mirrors--and for what reasons--passed through my mind, but it left as quickly as it had come.

"You're alone?" questioned Severus, brow knotted tight over deep-set black eyes.

I nodded into the mirror. "Yeah, the others have gone out for the evening."

"And Black and Potter don't know we have their mirrors? They don't even suspect?"

"Nope."

"And what about the werewolf?"

"No!" I whined. Boy, that dirty Slytherin could sure be a worrisome little git, couldn't he? "Now, have you got any news for me?"

Severus huffed and brushed a few loose strands of greasy hair out of his eyes. "Not really," he mumbled. "Lucius suggested that I wait until you return to tell you anything too specific. Two-way mirrors can be intercepted, he said. I can tell you this, though. They want us to begin training soon. Lucius says it's likely they'll give us the Mark the minute we've graduated, but they want us to be trained up before then."

"Just us?" I asked incredulously. "What about Crabbe and Goyle?"

"Stupid oafs," Severus muttered. "Couldn't magic their way out of a paper bag, could they? Lucius says the Elders aren't entirely certain about those two just yet."

"Then why me? I'm no better at magic than the two of them."

Severus smirked maliciously and, if I wasn't hearing things, cackled under his breath. Merlin, sometimes his perfectly evil persona was scary. "Yeah, but you're a Gryffindor. How many Gryffindors do you think get Marked, you git? Your house makes you valuable. You're an asset. People trust Gryffindors, don't they? You might get work as a spy or something like that, I'd wager."

A spy...for the Death Eaters.... Yea, gods, what an exciting thought! That was like something out of an adventure story or the tale of some great hero in history. Me? A spy for the Death Eaters? Really....

"When do you think we'll get started?" I asked excitedly.

"Soon," said Severus. His voice seemed so flat, so icy. How could he be this unenthused? "I'd say that we--"

"Severus, get your sorry arse downstairs this instant or I'll really give you something to cry about this time!"

"Shit," Severus hissed, wincing. "My dad.... Listen, we'll have to...."

"I said NOW, boy!"

His eyes darted frantically between the mirror and his bedroom door, then finally rested on the mirror. "Got to go, Peter."

I nodded. "Right, see ya."

Severus dropped the mirror to the floor, and within seconds only my own reflection was staring me in the face. I hurried back into the bedroom with my mirror, where I stuffed it at the very bottom of my trunk, the one place I knew James would never, ever see it.

And now, less than two hours after my three compadres had left the house, I was stuck all alone, bored out of my mind, with a long, miserable while to wait until they made their return.

From there on out, I realized, it might be a little wiser to start actually thinking my schemes through all the way.

~ * / / / / / ~ * ~ * ~

SIRIUS

"Next one I wanna play for you's a little ditty from a couple years back. Here's a tune by that infamous little space man known as Ziggy Stardust, but better known as David Bowie. This one's called Moonage Daydream!"

"Holy shit!" I screamed, nearly scaring the pants off of Maggie. "Oh God, this is one of my favorite songs ever!"

Maggie simply stared up at me with her big brown doe eyes, a little bemused smile playing across her lips. "Uh, who's David...Boo-ie?"

It was all I could do to keep from rolling my eyes at her ignorance, something she'd displayed much of this evening. How in the world had she found me again tonight?

Oh hell, it didn't really matter. The minute the guitar player strummed the first chord of the song, I was in another world altogether.

"'I'm an alligator..." I sang along at the top of my lungs. "'I'm a mama papa comin' for you... I'm the space invader...I'll be a rock 'n' rollin' bitch for you...'"

"Uh, Sirius," said Maggie tentatively, her eyes darting around to make sure nobody was staring. As if I gave a damn. "Maybe you could pipe down."

"Whatever," I mumbled, throwing one arm around her tiny waist and swaying with her to the beat of the music. She was a good dancer, I'd give her that, and probably would've been good in the sack if I'd been interested at all in taking her there. But any thought of shagging this one had flown out the window the moment she'd cackled at me and said, "I just love that accent! What is that, French?" As a matter of policy, I did not sleep with stupid people, no matter how attractive they may have been. But hell, at least she'd had the continent right....

"What's the matter with your friends?"

I turned my attention back to Maggie only to find that hers was focused elsewhere. My eyes followed. Across the pier stood Remus and James, lemonade and cigarettes in hand. It wasn't as if I hadn't seen them before that moment. No, I'd been quite aware of their position for the past half-hour or so.

But was Remus crying now? And why?

Part of me wanted to blame myself for that, but that would've been a bit conceited...a bit optimistic as well, actually.

It had all started the night I'd had that dream, the one about Bellatrix in the attic, and Remus had come to comfort me. That night was the first time I'd ever kissed or touched Remus without any intentions of carrying things further. As much as I wanted him, sex had seemed...I don't know...inappropriate? Unnecessary?

The next morning, I had crawled out of bed, crawled out from the warmth of Remus' comforting embrace, and vowed to leave well enough alone. Whatever this new feeling was, it was tied solely to Remus, to touching him, to the sight of him, to the very thought of him.

But it hadn't been easy, especially the night of Remus' attempt to seduce me in the shower. Yea gods, had I ever wanted him more? But I wouldn't let myself have the thing I craved, because I knew that along with it would come that weird...whatever it was.

It wasn't that it didn't feel good. I did like it, but at the same time the confusion it triggered within me was frightening. What was this thing I felt, this dual existence of constant yearning and happy satisfaction, of sinful thoughts and innocent bliss, of the desire to both give myself over completely and to be filled by all of another human being?

That couldn't be real, could it? Nobody could feel all that at once. They'd explode!

"What's the matter?" giggled Maggie, pulling me by the chin to face her again. "You got the hots for one of them fellas?"

Fucking broads...my eyes flitted back to James and Remus by the railing once more. Why the hell was Remus crying?

"You do like girls, don't ya?"

I nodded inattentively, never taken my focus off James and Remus. "Sure, I like girls. Is just that--"

I couldn't finish my sentence, because Maggie's lips had cut me off completely. For such a petite little girl, her grip on the back of my head was damn firm. She was trying her best to push her tongue past my lips, but my mouth was shut tight, not opening for anything now, not even air.

I expected to see Maggie when I opened my eyes again, but gaze fell instead on Remus, halfway through the crowd already but not paying me one bit of attention. His eyes were red and puffy, his jaw clenched tight, and only one thought ran through my mind--He saw.

"Bloody hell," I grunted, prying myself out of Maggie's insistent grip. "Remus! Remus, come back here, please!"

I began to dart through the crowd, gaining on Remus who, for all his agility as a wolf, had yet to master speed in human form. It took only a matter of seconds for me to catch up to him. I closed a hand over one shoulder, attempting to spin him around to face me, but with surprising strength and a mutter that sounded remarkably like "Fuck you, Sirius," he evaded me.

Before I could move to follow, a hand had gripped my own.

"What is it, Maggie?" I hissed irritatedly, but when I whirled around, Maggie was no where in sight and instead I found James Potter glaring back at me.

"How the hell could you be so stupid, Padfoot?" he growled, shaking me hard by the shoulder.

I wriggled under his grip, but couldn't throw him off. "What?" I cried. "I don't understand. What did I do?"

"Are you completely blind, you git? Do you not see every second of every day how obviously in love he is with you?"

I think my heart stopped, a fact that seemed so cliché. Feeling it actually happen was a bit surreal. My heart had honest-to-Merlin stopped. "He...he's what?"

"In love with you!" shouted James, rolling his eyes at me. "Moony is in love with you. And you have so conveniently ignored that fact, haven't you?"

My mouth went dry, another terrible cliché-come-true. "I didn't, I just..." I stammered, shaking my head in full-blown bewilderment. "Oh hell, Jamie...what have I do?"

"Treated him like absolute shit," he answered flatly. When I came to my senses again, I'd be sure to thank him for all his sensitivity and subtlety. "Used him. That's what you've done, Sirius. You know, I love you as dearly as I'd love a brother, but if you even think of hurting him like I'm afraid you're going to, I swear on all that is sacred that I will never, ever forgive you."

My brain didn't really register anything James was saying, all except for that last part. Why would I...how could he think I would...?

"I would never hurt him, Jamie."

James glared at me and smiled bitterly, and before turning to follow in the direction Remus had headed, spat over his shoulder, "Looks like you already have."

I was an imbecile. That was something that went without saying. In my selfish search for an answer, I had denied myself the only thing I'd ever really wanted, I had hurt the person I cared about more than anything in all the world, and I was on the verge of losing one, possibly two, of the best friends I'd ever had.

But I could fix things, I thought, because I had my answer now. I knew what the confusion in me was all about, if I hadn't known it before. It did have a name, this confusion, and I'd been terrified to call it by that name. But James had done it. Remus felt it. I felt it, too.

It was so obvious....

I, Sirius Black, vicious grim, the most reckless, obstinate, cavalier Marauder of us all, had fallen in love.

~ * / / / / / ~ * ~ * ~

REMUS

I wanted to make a list of the six million reasons why I hated Sirius Black, but I wasn't sure where to start. Very little could put me in a mood like this, a mood in which I couldn't think clearly, couldn't organize thoughts, couldn't do anything, in fact, except wallow in this deluge of anger that overwhelmed me.

But, in truth, I was just as much to blame as Sirius was. I was supposed to be the rational one, the logical one. People like me didn't fall in love. They may have willed themselves to be in love, but they didn't just tumble blindly into a situation where their actions were dictated by their hearts rather than their heads.

Maybe I was an exception to the rule.

But I didn't want to be. I didn't want to love Sirius. I hated feeling this helpless, with my emotions at his mercy. And even here, on this moonlit stretch of beach, toes buried in the sand while I stared out on the ocean--at this point, I would've been happy to never see the ocean again--I couldn't answer the one question that burned in my mind--

Why?

Why had I put myself here, when I knew what Sirius was all about, when I knew exactly what I was going to get? I'd asked for it. I'd all but fallen at his feet and begged of him, "Sirius, please break my heart!"

That girl...Maggie...I wondered if she knew. How had Sirius explained his actions to her? What lie--because with Sirius it couldn't have been anything but a lie--had he fed her when she'd inevitably asked what was wrong with me? Or had he even bothered? Maybe Sirius hadn't cared enough to give her any explanations. Maybe he'd forgotten all about her, discarded her just like anyone he'd ever shown a passing interest in. That would've been just as likely.

I could've continued on and on with my hateful musings, but the sound of someone approaching broke my train of thought. The steps were rapid, too rapid to be human, though I could hear them on the sand. I turned to investigate.

Padfoot.

How very clever of Sirius. If he made his approach in animal form, I couldn't lash out physically because, honestly, who had the heart to strike a dog? But I was ready for a verbal battle, and no matter how soft his fur felt on my legs as he rubbed himself against me, I wasn't going to stand for this kind of copout.

"I wanna see Sirius, now!" I growled.

Padfoot backed away, stared up at me for a moment with his pale doggy eyes, huffed, and then transformed before me into Sirius. He fixed me with a weak, slightly lopsided grin. I hated it.

"You look ready to throw a punch," he said, still smirking. "Hit me, please. Surely a swollen lip could make some of our...activities...more enjoyable."

I snorted. "I don't recall your lips, swollen or not, ever taking part in any of our activities," I replied curtly. "That burden usually falls on my lips, doesn't it? And by the way, we don't have activities anymore."

The grin faded fast from Sirius' face, and his eyes grew wide before his brow furrowed above them. "You are a real piece of work, d' you know that?"

"Well, thank you for that marvelous assessment, Mister Black!" I snapped, rolling my eyes in disgust. "Honestly, you astound me! But, I don't know, maybe I'm to blame for expecting you to hear the things I don't say."

"Or maybe," he retorted, his hand reaching to clasp mine as I tried to walk back toward the beach house, "you should just say whatever the hell it is you mean and stop beating around the bloody bush! You're this upset because some girl I don't even like kissed me?"

"Look," I spat, rounding on him, "forget about the stupid girl, because that has little if anything to do with what's wrong!"

"Then tell me what it is! Because I do care!"

Maybe he did. This display of raw frustration was something new, after all. I didn't even know that face could look like that, so pained and needy and absolutely bewildered. You hate him, I quickly reminded myself, although my will to do so seemed to be fading fast.

"Why don't you want me anymore?"

I couldn't believe the words had left my mouth. In the case of mine and Sirius' relationship, however it was defined, we never actually discussed what we were doing. We just...did it. I wasn't sure which of us, if not both, had implemented that rule, but whoever it was had probably done it to safeguard against emotional involvement. And with one simple question, I had shot that rule straight to hell.

"Tell me, Remus," said Sirius, smoothing the creases of his shirt. "For you, was this ever really about wanting me? I mean, just merely wanting me?"

I winced. "That's not fair, Sirius."

Sirius' head shot up with one swift movement. "Look," he said sharply, "I'll answer your bloody question as soon as you answer mine. Just, please...."

I stood still for a moment, not knowing what to say, and when I realized that the only thing left to say was the truth, struggled to avert my eyes from Sirius, because it was easier to admit the truth to the sand than to that damned perfect face. But I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. He, after all, was the one who deserved the answer.

"No," I whispered. "It was never just 'want.' Not for me. It was love. It was always about love."

He nodded his head as if it was the answer he'd expected all along. "Prongs wasn't lying, I see."

I couldn't help but smile bitterly. Jamie just couldn't keep his trap shut, could he? "And what else did our bigmouth friend tell you?"

Sirius smirked. What the hell did he have to smirk about?

"That I was an idiot," he said. Oh, that. "And he said if I hurt you, that it would be the end of my friendship with him. And you know, I told you when we started this that hurting you would be the last thing I'd ever do. I stand by that, Remus."

"Then answer my question, dammit!"

Even I was amazed by my outburst, although I refused to show it. But Sirius...I'd never seen his face so twisted by confusion or conflicting emotion or whatever the hell had overtaken him.

"Oh, yes..." he whispered. "Why don't I want you anymore?"

His eyes bore into me as he lightly shook his head. I thought he might cry, and if he did, that would be the end of it for me.

"Remus," he said softly, "I have wanted you every minute of every hour of every day that I've known what it means to want somebody."

"Then you have me, Sirius! You know that. Why can't you just take what's given to you freely?"

"I got scared!"

I was surprised at first to realize I was actually laughing at him outright, but then I realized how absurd his words had been. "What the hell is there to be scared of? We've been doing this for ages, haven't we?"

Sirius shook his head and closed his eyes. "Something changed," he said. "You have no idea how hard it's been these past few days, wanting so badly to touch you. Not even sexually, really...just to fucking feel you, your hair, your cheek, your hand, anything. But for some reason, every time I touch you or, hell, just even look at you, this...feeling...comes over me, and it's not arousal...well, I mean, sometimes it is, but never just, you know? And at first, I didn't know what it meant. It terrified me. I've wanted nothing more than to just...make love to you, but this--"

"Do not call it that!"

I wasn't stupid. Sirius was a male, and males were animals, myself included, and animals had needs and desires. I couldn't chastise him for wanting sex, for liking it. It wasn't as if I had ever protested. But I wouldn't let him fool himself, and I wouldn't let him try to fool me. He couldn't pass carnal instinct off for something that it wasn't.

"We've never made love," I said in a near-whisper. "We've messed around, sure, and we've shagged. But there's a big difference in making love and just shagging. And every time we've ever been together, you've only just shagged me, and you know it. You can't make love to somebody without being in love with them."

Sirius sauntered toward me, his movements so incredibly natural. It may have been, I thought, the first time he'd approached me in months without oozing sex out of every pore, and I had to admit, although it was a little unnerving, it suited him.

"Haven't you heard a damn thing I've been saying?" His eyes were wide, and his voice was soft, and right then and there I lost every ounce of rage and obstinacy and resolve I had in me. "I'm in love with you, Remus."

It took a moment for his words to register, and then the full impact of them washed over me like one of the many waves that crashed upon the shore on which we stood. He came toward me slowly, smiling, perhaps, at my gaping mouth, and reached to sweep a few loose strands of hair out of my eyes.

"I love this mop on your head," he said, laughter coloring his voice deliciously. "And I love your skin."

His hands trailed over said skin, so soft, so gentle, that I thought I might very well die.

"Sirius, please," I breathed.

"And I love your scars," he whispered as he ran his finger over a particularly long one on the back of my neck, one of the many he knew now by heart. "I love each and every one of them."

He went silent. His eyes were soft, softer than I'd ever seen them. There was none of the usual smugness there, and not even a trace of that hungry ferocity that I sometimes imagined was reserved for me alone. No, this was something new, something that looked like--and was, if Sirius was telling the absolute truth--love.

"I love the way you comfort me after bad dreams," he went on, his fingers caressing the side of my face. "And I love that you're the star of all my good dreams. I love that you keep me in line, and I love it that you're the one who makes me want to show off and do crazy things in the first place."

I leaned into his touch, helpless. It may not have been the rational thing to do, not after I'd convinced myself what a mistake it was to love Sirius, to give into him again and again. But hell, rational thought wasn't something I was clinging too tightly to at the moment. Maybe I was in the wrong. Maybe Sirius was a liar, but if so, he was a damned good one, and I didn't care. For now, it felt good. No, great. It felt bloody fantastic.

Sirius pressed a soft kiss against my forehead, then continued. "I love that you're afraid of yourself, although you shouldn't be, because you're only the wolf once a month. The rest of the time, you're Remus...my perfect Remus, who I am so in love with. And I've been such a fool to not have realized that sooner."

I meant to say something, something to counter my earlier rage, because I hadn't meant it, not really, but Sirius' lips cut me off before I could speak. For a moment I went numb, and then came the gentle sensation of Sirius slicking my hair behind my ears with his fingertips. This wasn't so unfamiliar, was it? These tender niceties, this heat, this mouth, this stirring inside me? Maybe it had never come with the promise of love before, but I hadn't meant to forget how good it felt.

"I want to do something for you," he said, slipping his hands around my neck and pulling me even closer to him. "I want to show you that this is about love, not sex."

I shook my head. "Sirius, I believe--"

His mouth silenced mine again almost instantly. He tasted like cinnamon. His arms enfolded me and rocked me gently, as if we were slow-dancing, but there was no music. I didn't care. Who needed music to be happy?

"I do love you," Sirius whispered in my ear, still holding onto me as if the world would crumble all around us were he to let go. "I hope you realize that by now. But the proof is in the pudding."

"What do you mean?"

He didn't answer, but pulled away from me and laughed--at himself, I think. He yanked his shirt up over his head and discarded it on the sand beneath us. Next came the blue jeans, but not before he could pull his wand out of the back pocket. And then, down to only a pair of black Y-fronts, he leaned closer to me, smiling, and reached for the fly of my jeans, pulling them off of me as quickly as he did his own.

"Accio blanket!" he chanted, pointing his wand toward the beach house. A second later, a large red quilt came fluttering down from the balcony, dancing in the air a moment before spreading itself out on the beach.

Sirius took me by the hand and led me toward the blanket. "We're staying out here tonight," he explained, crawling down over the expanse of red. I followed suit.

"Sex on the beach?" I joked, chuckling.

Sirius bit his lip and shook his head, wrapping one strong arm around my naked waist.

"No sex," he said. "This thing between us has been about sex for far too long, and now I just want to hold you, to know what it feels like to touch and kiss someone and...love them. I've never done that before."

I smiled and shifted closer. To stay here all night, on the soft sand with the ocean, my ocean, a stone's throw away, wrapped in the warmth of Sirius' arms--that was fine by me.

"Hey, Sirius?"

"What is it, love?" he whispered.

I leaned forward to kiss him, because I was allowed to do that now, and marveled at his gentle, passionate response.

"I'm glad to be your first."

~ * / / / / / ~ * ~ * ~

JAMES

As she waltzed toward me on the sand, her hair shone in the sunlight like a river of fire. And those eyes, those brilliant green eyes that could light the darkest of souls...

"James," she whispered, her delicate fingers reaching to caress my cheek.

My eyes fell shut, and I felt a blissful smile overtake my face. "Lily," I sighed.

She leaned in close, her rosebud lips pressed gently to my ear...

James, wake up now! James, get up!

I shot up from my pillow, panting like I'd just finished running the world's longest marathon. Peter was shaking my shoulders, and I very nearly struck out at him, but the sudden realization of the arousal brought on by my oh-so-pleasant dream captured most of my attention.

"James," he said again, frantic. "James, you've got to come see this! I don't know what in the bloody hell those two are up to, but...oh, come on!"

Before I could even think to do anything about the unsightly bulge in my boxer shorts, Peter had hoisted me up by the shoulders and hauled me into the living room. He released me finally, his eyes darting between me and the slide door that led out onto the balcony, to which he was pointing.

"There!" he exclaimed. "Go have a look!"

"Wormtail," I groaned, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, "what in the world are you blathering on about?"

Peter rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly, as if any git in the world would've understood his frantic, incoherent rambling. "Out there! On the balcony!"

"Fine, whatever." I wasn't in the mood for this ridiculousness, not this early in the morning and certainly not after being woken from one of the best damn dreams I'd had in a long time.

Peter opened the sliding glass door for me, and I stepped out onto the creaking green boards of the balcony. "There's nothing out here, you git! What on earth are you--Oh!"

Indeed, there was something--two somethings, in fact or, perhaps, two somebodies, I should say. On the stretch of sand below the balcony lay a pile of clothes that, if I wasn't much mistaken, had been draped over the bodies of my two best friends the night before.

And there, not five feet from the clothes, lay the bodies in question. Sirius was the one I noticed first, a heap of tanned muscle and black hair. And somewhere, buried under Sirius' more-than-affectionate embrace, lay Remus Lupin. His head poked out from beneath the curl of Sirius' arm, his face mere inches from Sirius' own, as if awaiting a kiss, even in sleep.

"Did they...are they...?" Peter stammered behind me. "This is madness! James, tell me you didn't know about this! Oh, gods! What if somebody sees them? What if my aunt finds out? This is absolutely disgusting!"

"Oh, I don't know," I murmured, smirking as I rested my elbows on the railing and gazed inquisitively down at the tangle of limbs that was Remus and Sirius. "I think it's kind of cute, actually."

"Cute?!" Peter shrieked. "There is nothing cute about it! I can tell you one thing, though, those two are going to get a thorough talking-to from me! In fact, I'm going down there right this minute and telling them exactly what I--"

"You will do no such thing!" I growled, gripping his arm as he made to leave the balcony. "If you even think of saying one nasty word to either of them, I will hex you from here into next January!"

Peter glowered at me a moment, then tore himself away from me and fell back against the railing, where he remained.

"Don't know why you're defending this," he mumbled under his breath. "What an awful couple of nancies they are. For Merlin's sake, what's gotten into the two of them? I just don't understand--"

After bestowing one last proud smile on my two sleeping friends, I cut Peter's indignant ramblings short by slamming the glass door shut as I entered the house.

"Splendid," I whispered to myself, quite literally skipping toward the telephone that had begun to ring as if on cue with the slamming of the door. "Simply splendid.... Pettigrew residence?"

"Sweetheart?"

Ah, yes, sweetheart indeed...

"Lily," I sighed, unable to help myself.

Lily giggled, "What is it, James?"

"Have I ever told you just how much I love you?"

THE END