Ron and the Bean.

Ron and the Bean.

Ron spooned another healthy helping of his newfound favorite food into his mouth. He discovered his love for the bean while trying different foods in the Great Hall. He couldn't get enough of the bean. Sometimes at night he would sneak down to the house elves and have them prepare several bowls of this delicious wonder. However, all systems were not go. The beautiful bean had an effect on him that was rather unpleasant for both him and especially those around him. These gut bombs generated great gaseousness.

He knew that Hermione didn't want him to eat the bean because of the fireworks they provided. However, he could not overcome the temptation of eating the bean. He did try once to reason with her that if they were ever in danger from Voldemort and his death eaters these break wind bombers could incapacitate them and any other enemy. He would even be willing to eat several bowls before Snape's class. At that point Hermione seemed to give in to his reason, but in the end her nose won out and she adamantly said no. Ron gave her the pout look and then sadly agreed to give up the bean.

However, one early evening at dinner he was overcome by the temptation of the bean and gave in to his desire thereby breaking his agreement with Hermione. She decided to spend dinner time in the library rather then eat so he figured that she wouldn't know about his secret rendezvous with the bean. He told himself only one bowl, but one bowl led to another and by dinners end he had consumed five bowls.

Already feeling the rumbling in his stomach he knew he had to get away for awhile to work off the effects of his broken agreement with Hermione. She would have his head if she found out and would also be very hurt that he broke his promise to her. There was only one answer, his broom and the Quidditch field. He rushed to his room already feeling tiny burst from his caboose so he had to hurry. Avoiding contact with the others was rather difficult, but after a bit of time he made it to his room, got his broom and went outside of the castle. It was dusk and the stars were already taking their places in the sky. He jumped his broom and was off. He went to the field and then flew straight up into the sky. When he judged he was high enough he let loose and gave new meaning to nuclear energy. He had to spend some time up in the night sky working off all effects before returning to the castle. However, he did not go unnoticed. Students out for walks heard strange noises in the night sky and also noted little orange flames high above in the darkness.

After some time he felt that all was well and he could return to the castle. He went to the Gryffindor common room and into his dorm to put away his broom. He then thought he had better go and locate Hermione because he was sure she would be looking for him. If she couldn't find him this might arouse suspicion and then he could be in big trouble.

In the time between times he saw her approaching him in the hallway. He waved at her and she waved back. When they met she asked him where he had been and he replied that he was out and about looking for her. She then hugged him with great force. When she squeezed him there was a volcanic eruption in his stomach and he let go one that could have bent steel. Hermione brought her head back, looked at him and then burst out laughing. She laughed so hard that she blew boogers into his face. Ron turned red with embarrassment. After collecting themselves, Hermione stared at him and accused him of eating the bean and breaking his promise to her. Ron, cleaning Hermione's greens off his face, confessed that he had indeed ate the bean. Although she was disappointed in him, she did forgive him the offense and once again he pledged to her that he would stay away from the bean.

Ron made good on his promise and stayed off the bean. He tried to think of other things when the great temptation to eat the bean came forth. His mind wondered to and fro. He thought of many things, however the bean remained at the point of all of his thoughts. He thought that he must be daft to allow the bean to control his life, but daft or not the desire for the bean was becoming stronger and stronger. He would lie in bed at night trying to get his mind off the bean, but it was not working. He loved dreaming of Hermione, but even her beautiful face turned into a bean. He knew if he didn't get help soon, the bean would command his thoughts and his very being. He would become in a sense a human bean. Something else troubled him, but he could not put his finger on it. Some big event in his life was on the horizon, but he just could not think of what it was.

The weekend arrived. However, Ron was not looking forward to it because it meant loads of free time. At least during the week there were classes and the classes helped him take his mind off his addiction to the bean. Hermione told him that she was going to be busy all day so he would have to find things to do on his own. Harry, Ginny, Neville, and all were going to be busy to so he had none of his mates to mess around with. Then a diabolical thought entered his tortured mind. He would go to Diagon Alley and look for an establishment that served the bean. He made the necessary arrangements and was off on his search for the bean.

When he arrived at Diagon Alley he began his search. He shook with great anticipation feeling that his search would not be in vain. He looked hi and low, but could not find the bean. Nevertheless, he was an Englishman and he would not give up. Finally his quest ended, for he had found a place that served the bean. It was the pot of gold or in this case a pot full of the bean at the end of the rainbow. He clasped his hands; he was so very excited. He read the sign with tears flowing, the sign said pay one price and you could eat all you wanted of the bean. He was also happy, because the price was reasonable. He entered the chambers and the smell of the bean was overwhelming. He found a booth and motioned for the waiter to come. He ordered a butter beer and the biggest bowl of the bean possible. When it arrived he looked up and said thank you. He slowly began to spoon the bean into his mouth relishing the taste. He smacked his lips every time the bean passed his mouth into his tavern. Finally he could take no more; he was on a mission to eat the bean and would eat it until he could eat no more. He stopped playing with the bean and began attacking it like he would a Quaffle. He scooped mouthful after mouthful into his pie hole (in this case bean hole) until the bowl was cleaned. He decided to order one more and ate the bowl full of the bean even faster then the previous one. When he was finished he paid the bill and left feeling very satisfied, but also very guilty. He had let Hermione down and broke his promise to her. He told himself that this was truly his last communion with the bean and began his journey back to Hogwarts hoping to work off the usual effects before meeting Hermione.

After rootin tootin all the way back to Hogwarts he felt reasonably sure that the effects of the bean gave its last gasp or gas in this case. He made his way to the Gryffindor common room. There, waiting before the entrance was his Hermione and she was all smiles. This made him feel very guilty; even so he had to make the best of the situation. One thing was for certain he would not let her squeeze him around the middle.

She greeted him with a light kiss. He thought to himself how smart it was of him to have popped a few mints into his mouth before meeting her. She was very excited to see him. She then told him that she had a surprise for him in the common room. However, just before entering the common room, Professor McGonagall called to her from down the hall. She needed to converse with her. Mildly irritated at the interruption between she and Ron she yelled to Professor McGonagall that she would be right there.

Hermione took off a scarf she was wearing and blindfolded Ron. She then took him inside the common room and sat him down on a chair. She made him promise he would not take off the blindfold until she returned. He said he would not take it off and thought to himself that this would be a promise he would keep. Hermione left the room. Now he was alone again. While waiting for her he sensed another movement in his stomach. Since no one was around he thought he would take advantage of the situation and let one go. He shifted to over to one leg and let it fly. This one had great propulsion. It launched an explosive smelly, steamy cloud into the common room atmosphere. Ron cringed at this one and fanned the vicious vapors with all of his might. He hoped Hermione would not notice when she returned. Time passed and she still had not come in, which was good because he felt another rumble in his stomach. He shifted his weight over to the other side and let go again. This was a blue ribbon winner. The power of this one could have sent a rocket to space. He again fanned the air.

Time was passing when Hermione finally came in to the common room. He hoped that the fanning of the air worked. Apparently it did because she said nothing about it. She did ask him if he had kept his promise and left his blindfold on. He replied that he had kept it on. She then with great joy said, "Well my love here is your surprise." She removed the blindfold. There before him stood Harry, Ginny, Neville and many more of his classmates ready to celebrate his birthday. Ron fainted.