The Man Behind the Mask

The Man Behind The Mask

"Lily! Lily, wait."

A voice rang out from not far behind her. Deep, and ringing, full of concern. A voice she couldn't bear to hear at this moment. Turning once, she stopped only long enough to catch a glimpse of him. In the darkness of the night, and the downpour of rain, she only made out two chocolate brown eyes, and a mess of black hair. That was enough. She began to run, and heard footfall behind her. She stopped, and he finished not two steps behind her.

"Just leave me alone, James." Her voice sounded cold and sad, and yet heated with unrequited emotion. The sight of him barely moments before flashed in her mind. When he had been dry, and arrogant. What he had said to Sirius about her, how he wanted her body but ignored her mind, how he treated all other people in the world as though he were better. How he looked down on her. Months of frustration caught up with her. Weeks of not knowing how she felt really, or who he really was beneath the mask of attitude. Hours of endless thought. Her voice caught in her throat. Tears began to stream down her face, keeping time with the rhythm of the rain, and she found her voice again. It was raw with emotion, and strong with anger, and she could no longer contain herself.

"You think you can treat other people like this? Like slaves. You despise the Slytherins, yet you act no better than they do. You value my body over my mind? You say these things and act this way...but I don't think that's who you really are. I don't think so, because I have seen another person slip through your mask on occasion. A nicer, better person. But you, you imbecile, are too afraid to let that person through. Yes you are afraid. You live a lie, because you seem to be a person, and yet you are simply numb and holding back. I have thought continually on this, and I have come to a conclusion that I cannot stand. You see, I found my true love in you. In James Potter. Not the person I saw minutes before, with the mask over his face. I fell in love with the person behind the mask. And I mourn. Would you like to know why I am filled with sorrow and remorse? Because the person I love, and would like to spend the rest of my days with, he doesn't exist. He never shows himself, and so I will be lonely for the rest of my life, waiting for someone who will never be there. And I hate it! And now I hate you!"

A flash of lightening crackled and poured sparks over her. Lily felt pain, on some level, but there was no point of return. She collapsed, in emotion and electricity. The shock that had held James seemed to take its leave then. He rushed over to the bundle of clothes containing Lily. He grabbed her by the arm, and held her closely to his chest. Half-conscious, she could faintly see warm, chocolate eyes gazing into hers. The realization of who was holding her seized her, and she fell into a frenzy. She punched, kicked, and screamed.

"Shh.... shh.. Lily. Lily!" He shook her gently. She looked at him, exhaustedly. "Lily, I am so sorry. I never ever meant to hurt you in any way. I was just... You made me so afraid. Around you, I never knew what to do. The way you make me feel, it always terrified me. I would have jumped off a tower for you, and not thought twice. And that really frightened me. It still does, a little. But this time, the mask is coming off. I am tired to living two different lives. I love you. I love you more than anything in the world, and I am so sick of hiding it. I want the world to know it. But if you don't stay alive to see me tell the world, then it won't be worth anything to me. I don't want to live without you. Please," He pulled her in closer to him, embracing her shivering body tightly. "Stay awake, Lily. Stay awake, and we'll both be fine."

In the dim light of the night, and the veil of rain and clouds Lily Evans felt her world slowly return to beneath her feet. And held tightly in the arms of the one she loved, she whispered weakly in his ear.

"James Potter, you are a man who has just removed a mask. You are the man behind that mask, and I love you. Just don't put it back on, please. Don't leave me, and we'll both be fine."