Rating:
R
House:
Astronomy Tower
Characters:
Remus Lupin Sirius Black
Genres:
Action Romance
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Order of the Phoenix
Stats:
Published: 12/13/2004
Updated: 08/27/2007
Words: 171,251
Chapters: 13
Hits: 74,325

Accidentally In Love

LupinsLittleSister

Story Summary:
Sirius and Remus both had their own reasons for never falling in love. But since when does love listen to reason? (Slash, RL/SB, some original characters)

Chapter 09

Chapter Summary:
A mysterious disappearance drives the reality of war home, even as it turns Remus's life upside down.
Posted:
07/27/2005
Hits:
5,196
Author's Note:
Written very shortly before HBP released- no spoilers!


Part IX- Disappearing

Caradoc Dearborn disappeared on a windy, bitter Friday in February in 1980, or at least that's what people eventually put together.

Technically, that probably wasn't true, Remus thought. He'd probably been taken on a Thursday night. Remus had last seen Caradoc when he'd left the lab Thursday at noon, aching and miserable with the promise of a long full moon night ahead. Of course he hadn't been into work on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, but the woman who ran the bake shop across the street had been able to report that there were no lights or activity on Friday, and Caradoc had not called in for his morning sticky bun and coffee. Even more worrying, Fridays were the only days that she baked gingersnaps and he hadn't appeared, and that was certainly cause for worry.

It made sense Remus thought sourly, arms crossed as members of the Werewolf Capture Unit questioned him. Kidnap the man on the night of the full moon and make it look like perhaps his werewolf apprentice ate him. Way to thank your servants, Voldemort. After stealing the Stone of Scone, a few chalices, enough books that Voldemort should have his own personal library, and a few other strange artifacts, you'd think a Dark Lord would be a little more appreciative of what appeared to be a faithful minion. Figures.

Which was why Remus was a bit surprised- and maybe even a bit annoyed- when Alvin Macnair walked through the door, smooth and smiling and shaking hands... and speaking on Remus's behalf.

Of course Lupin hadn't eaten Dearborn, Macnair assured the Capture Unit. He cited a close friendship and an impeccable record (well, except that one blotch put there by a Sirius Black, but we all know what sort the Black family are. Strictly confidential, of course!). He lied about a physical and a weighing the morning after the full moon- if Remus had eaten anyone, his weight surely would have reflected it, and in fact he weighed less than at his last inspection. He gave assurances that Remus was very carefully monitored, not only by the Registry but by Albus Dumbledore himself. And finally, he had reliable witnesses that were positive that Caradoc Dearborn had been taken from his town flat, not his little cottage in the country. How could a werewolf enter a flat in a building and attack, with no other disappearances or spottings nearby? And the damage. Yes, there had been a struggle. But there were no claw marks and no signs of animalistic brutality. So if they could just let Mr. Lupin go....

"We take care of our own, and those who serve the Lord," Macnair said afterwards, with a sanctimonious face and bright, cruel eyes, and Remus suspected that Macnair had been one of the Death Eaters that had abducted Caradoc. But if he had, Remus couldn't find it in his mind.

It was an odd week, tense and uncertain and constantly on edge. Disappearances were becoming alarmingly more common, but no one knew what to do or where to look. There had been a spectacular scene with Moody roaring about finding Dearborn himself, but his search brought him up empty handed. The Ministry was called, but requests to find missing persons were too numerous these days, and there were people that had been lost far longer than Caradoc. Remus begged Regulus to find out what had happened, but Regulus's contacts knew nothing... or didn't trust him enough to tell him. Regulus's credibility was rapidly slipping among the Death Eaters, and it was only a matter of time before... before.

It was a terrifying, lonely, angry red fact, but it looked like Caradoc Dearborn was gone.

***

Order meetings were increasing in frequency, although those in attendance varied from night to night. More members were traveling, out on missions, working, or busy with something else that was important too... or dead. But the meetings still occurred furtively, in the Dragon Rider Pub, in Elphias' Doge's home, in an empty classroom at Hogwarts, and in clearings in the snow. Tonight they were in the Dragon Rider, warm with the roaring fire and the smell of fried food and good ale, cold with the talk of disappearances and death.

"How'd it go?" Sirius asked as he sat down across from James and Peter.

James looked down and Peter shook his head. "No good. Three leads, two of them completely false and one took us straight to a meeting of Death Eaters, but no captives that we could see.'

"Get any of the Death Eaters?" Sirius asked.

"Couldn't," James grumbled. "There were twenty of them. I wanted to hex as many as we could, but-"

"We never would have made it out of there alive," Peter reminded him sharply.

"If we'd just Transfigured-"

"It wouldn't have worked!"

Sirius raised his eyebrows. Peter's caution wasn't a new thing, but it was rare for him to argue so vehemently with James.

James took his glasses off and polished them on his shirt with angry motions. "Anyways. We didn't find Caradoc. How's Moony holding up?"

"Spending more time ranting about the Werewolf Capture Unit pulling him in than anything else. He got out of it because they can't prove it, but a lot of people at the Ministry don't believe it."

"There's people in the Order than half don't believe it," Peter muttered ominously. James and Sirius both made noises of disbelief. "No, seriously," Peter insisted. "You have to look at it from their perspective. A lot of them don't really know Remus, but it's gotten around that he's a werewolf and-"

"Wait. How's it gotten around?" Sirius demanded. "I sure didn't say anything."

"This time," Peter muttered, but James spoke up before Sirius could react to that.

"Moody, Doge, and Longbottom all know. I mean, they've known for years, because of Mr. Lupin. Caradoc knows, and Hagrid does too."

"And you know Hagrid is rubbish at keeping secrets," Peter supplied. "And Alice knows."

"She wouldn't-"

"The point, Padfoot," Peter cut in, "is that lots of people know. It's not a secret in the Order. But that doesn't mean that everyone in the Order is comfortable with it. I mean, all their lives they've been told werewolves are terrible creatures and they'd kill you as soon as look at you. We," he gestured to the three of them, "know that that's bullocks. But we know Remus and we've known him for years. The others haven't. And let's face it, Sirius, Remus isn't the most social person. He's cagey around new people."

"Quiet," Sirius corrected. "But he does talk to people."

"But when you go over the conversation in your head later, you realize he's never told you anything about himself.'

Sirius couldn't really deny that, but, "A lot of people do that. What do you really know about Frank Longbottom? Or Fabian Prewett? Or Emmeline Vance?"

"Look, Sirius, all I'm saying is that just because someone's an Order member doesn't mean they trust Remus." Peter took a deep drink from his beer. "That's all."

Sirius shook his head and picked up his own beer.

"So how's Remus really doing?" James asked finally, when the silence became too heavy.

"You know Remus. He's holding up."

"He always holds himself together," Peter sighed. "It's like nothing ever touches him."

"Unless you know where to look," Sirius amended. There was some truth to Peter's statement, but Sirius was beginning to see the signs of intense grief again: the increased craving for physical affection, the lack of initiation in lovemaking but the voracious response, and the way Remus would sometimes sit in a dark flat staring out the window until Sirius came home. But those weren't really things you could say out loud, even to your friends. "How's Lily doing, James?"

"Better. She's not so tired these past few days," James said without thinking, and then they both froze.

"Wait. What's wrong with Lily?" Peter asked.

James and Sirius exchanged glances, and Sirius had the grace to at least feel embarrassed and guilty. James sighed. "Look, Wormtail-"

"She's been sick," Sirius invented quickly. This was not the time or place for this announcement, and they both knew it. "Just a head cold, but you know how these things are."

James nudged his toe under the table in silent thanks and played along. "I'm surprised she hasn't gotten sick before this, working in St. Mungo's. They say Healers get every little thing that comes around."

"Yeah," Peter agreed, looking from one to the other, and Sirius was quite sure he didn't believe them.

"Anyway, she's very concerned about Remus," James jumped in. "She says after his mother..."

"Yeah." Peter's face softened in sympathy. "It's hard. I wonder how much more he can take?"

"I wonder how much more any of us can take," Sirius sighed. He shook his head. "And I hope none of us are next."

***

Three days later an owl came for Remus, with the attached summons requesting his presence in the Office of Documents, Letters, and Wills in the Ministry. The clear, precise script sent his stomach collapsing against his ribs, and a howl of anguish threatened to escape. He bit down on it hard, turning away so Sirius couldn't see his face as he read the letter again.

"What is it?"

Remus looked out the window at the gray, wet streets dimly glinting back lamplight. "They want me to come by tomorrow night. Five o'clock."

Sirius came up behind him, laying a warm, gentle hand on his shoulder. "I'll come with you, if you like," he offered.

"Your work," Remus protested.

"I'll get off early."

"All right."

The Ministry Official was a thin man with red hair; Remus correctly guessed he was a Weasley. Michael, in this case. He was a compassionate man who greeted Remus with a warm handshake and a clap on the shoulder, and didn't even raise an eyebrow at Sirius's uninvited presence. The only other people in the room were Dumbledore, wearing a grave expression and somber robes, and Alastor Moody, uncharacteristically quiet as he sat in a chair.

"Good evening," Michael said once they were seated. 'We are here for the reading of the Last Will and Testament of Caradoc Dearborn."

Remus looked up. "You know he's dead?" he asked. "For sure?"

"Mr. Dearborn wrote his will in Irving's Invisible-Unitl-the-Inevitable Ink," Michael explained. Although his words were formal, his tone was very, very gentle. "The ink disappears once the seal is set to the document, and remains invisible until the writer has passed away. With the amount of travel Mr. Dearborn did and the nature of his work and his unusual interests, he was strongly advised in this course of action."

Remus slumped in the chair, eyes dry but burning as Sirius fumbled for his hand. He clutched the proffered fingers tightly.

"Well then," Michael cleared his throat. "Shall we begin?
I, Caradoc Dearborn, being of sound mind and body, do hereby set my hand to this document and leave my final instructions in the event of my death.

"If my body is in any way accessible, I have purchased a burial plot in the graveyard at Hogwarts. Please bury me there with as little fanfare and mourning as possible. If my body is not to be found (which, if I died on the trip the Isle of Drear, is entirely likely), please use this plot for a member of the Order of the Phoenix who may not have made such relevant plans. I do not care to have a formal memorial service as it is an unnecessary expense and burden on those I love, which is admittedly very few (I believe the current count is about two). I say this with no bitterness because I have loved my life and have no regrets, but my life has always been quiet and private and I wish my death to be the same.

"With that said, I do recognize I need to dispose of my worldly possessions and property.

"To Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, I leave the lab, the animals, and all of the equipment. He will know what to do with it all, and I only ask that the animals are treated humanely (i.e., please hand them over to Hagrid, where I know they will be in the best of care). Any proceeds from the sale of property or equipment that cannot be used at Hogwarts should go to the Order of the Phoenix, or should I be so lucky as to survive the Order's purpose, then to Hogwarts to help fund the education of any orphaned students.

"To my assistant Remus Lupin I leave the books in the laboratory, my research notes, and the cottage on the outskirts of Tillsonburg. He is not to sell it, but to use it as a refuge, either as relaxation, or as safety or a home, should the need present itself. Sadly, I believe this may be the case. I also leave him my blessing and benediction: live your life for your passions, my son, and let no one take them from you.

"And finally, to my dearest friend and comrade Alastor Moody, I leave everything else to do with as he will (except the Prism of Pompous Principle, which he had blood well better keep!). May no brainless bint ever sink her claws into you, and tonight please go to the Leaky Cauldron and have the best steak dinner they can give you, on me. (Take Remus with you. I still think he doesn't eat enough.) And remember, my friend, no regrets. Ever. I'll wait as long as I can before the next adventure begins.

"I wish I could be more specific, but the truth is beyond these few requests I don't care, especially since if you're reading this I'm not in this world anymore. Goodbye, and the road rise to meet you all.

"Caradoc Dearborn.
"

***

They sat in a corner in the Leaky Cauldron, dirty dishes on the table. Sirius leaned back in his chair, utterly stuffed. Caradoc and Moody were steak connoisseurs, from what he'd picked up, and the dinner had been beyond excellent into phenomenal. It had also been accompanied by pints of good beer and capped off with the densest, most buttery pecan pie that Sirius had ever eaten. It was a small group, just himself, Remus, and Moody. Dumbledore had had to return to Hogwarts, and Moody hadn't wanted anyone else along.

Remus was staring at the wall behind Moody through most of the meal. He'd eaten, but mechanically, and he'd drunk far too much. His lower leg was firmly aligned with Sirius's under the table, from ankle to knee. But other than that, he said very little.

It was Moody who was talkative throughout the meal. He and Sirius had discussed various Death Eaters and attacks, looking for patterns and wondering about names. It seemed too... casual and cavalier, Sirius thought, until now.

Moody was staring at his plate, fingers loosely closed around the handle of his sixth pint of beer. His normally animated face was grim and still, and it didn't take a genius to figure out where his thoughts lay.

"How long did you know Caradoc?" Sirius asked him.

Moody looked up and chuckled. It was a dry, hollow sound, but there were decades of affection behind it. "Too long."

"First year of Hogwarts?" Remus asked, bringing himself back to the table.

"Before that. I was nine. We both had Muggle parents, you see. My Da died in that war the Muggles had, where the king's nephew got assassinated or some bullocks like that. Mum went two years later. Some sort of cancer. They came and took me to an orphanage, and most of the kids there were..." he gazed off, tapping his fingers against the countertop. "Don't know. But there was this one kid there- that was Caradoc- he was small and skinny and that first night he gave me his book to read. Never read it, but I appreciated it all the same. Been there since he was five. No one really wanted him because he was a strange kid. Course, that was the magic, but no one at the place knew that- they were all Muggles.

"We got our letters at the same time and went off, and we were both put into Ravenclaw. Had us a great seven years. Neither of us had a lot of friends, but that was okay. Didn't need them. We both knew what we wanted from early on, and that was all that mattered. It's been that way for," Moody looked down and sketched some figures on the table with his finger, "forty seven years, I guess." He took a long drink of beer.

"I always assumed I'd be the one to die if one of us did in this war or whatever it is we've got going here. Didn't think it would be him. Not what he would have wanted. I'm glad I don't know the details." He lapsed into silence again.

Sirius was surprised. It was the longest speech he'd ever heard Moody make about something that didn't have to do with being an Auror and chasing down Dark Wizards. He'd always assumed Moody had no interests or no life outside of work, and it was a little disconcerting to be proved right. And yet... and yet there was something inspiring there as well. Not so much in Moody's dedication, but the way he spoke about Caradoc. No regrets. No wishing to change the past. Just respect and loss and a deep regard that transgressed friendship and went over into brotherhood.

"S'kind of a sad story, isn't it?" Remus asked drunkenly as they made their way home later that night. Sirius had to put an arm around Remus's waist to keep him from falling against the walls of buildings they passed. "They were like... like brothers. Like you'n'James. And now Caradoc's gone and Moody's alone."

"Yeah. Hey, come on. We're almost there. That's it, lean on me."

"Think you'd be able to take it like that if James died?"

"Don't even say that." Sirius was concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other as Remus swayed.

"Would you?"

"No. You know I'd be a wreck. Here Moony. Lean against the wall while I get out my keys." Sirius propped him up. Remus's head hit the wall, his hair flopping inelegantly around his eyes in lank strands.

"What if I died?"

"Not funny, Moony."

"Not meant to-" before he could even finish the sentence, Remus leaned over and vomited on the pavement.

Sirius moved out of the way, but held Remus up as the spasms wracked his body. "Just as well," he murmured, smoothing Remus's hair back. "You're really going to feel it tomorrow, Moony. All done?" Remus nodded miserably, and Sirius fumbled for his wand to vanish the mess. "Good. Let's go in."

Remus was quiet and cooperative as Sirius helped him up the stairs and into bed, undressing him before he could fall asleep. "You okay there, Moony?"

"No," Remus mumbled. "'Snot fair."

"What's not fair?"

"People keep dying."

"I know," Sirius said softly.

"People I love keep dying."

"I know. Come on. Lift your legs."

"Mum. And Caradoc. And Lily."

"Lily's not dead, Remus."

Sirius looked up in time to see Remus process that, and a flash of... control, perhaps?... pass through his eyes. "No, she's not," he mumbled. "But they... they...."

"They Crucioed
you," Sirius reminded him, unbuttoning Remus's shirt.

"Right. Tired of it. Why is it always people
I love? Why not someone else for a change? Don't want you to die."

"No?" Sirius asked lightly. "That's good. Me either."

"Love you," Remus mumbled.

Sirius hesitated, eyes closed and smelly shirt in his hand. "I know you do, Remus," he whispered.

"Y'do?"

"Yes. Now lay down. I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight."

"Don't."

"I'd better, in case all that beer makes a reappearance." He guided Remus's head down to the pillows and kissed his forehead softly. "Go to sleep, Remus. I love you."

"Love you too," Remus whispered, seconds before he began to snore.

Sirius grabbed his own pillow and a blanket and retreated to the living room, leaving the door open just in case. He settled on the couch, couldn't get comfortable, and eventually picked up a book.

He finally nodded off at dawn.

***

Hangovers were the most brutal things imaginable. Remus sat up with a groan, clutching his throbbing head. The bed was empty except for him and a tangle of covers, but there was a glass of water and a Hangover Potion on the nightstand. Both helped.

He stumbled to the bathroom and managed to get through the shower, bits and pieces of the night before coming back to him. He stood in the shower and let the spray wash over him as he remembered Sirius helping him home, holding his hair back as he'd vomited (he flushed with embarrassment at that), and helping him to bed. What he didn't remember was what all he'd said.

He fumbled for the tap and shut the water off, and gracelessly clambered out of the shower and into something resembling clothes (although he was blearily sure they didn't quite match or weren't appropriate for being seen in public.)

Sirius looked up with amusement when Remus stumbled in. "Your pajama bottoms are on backwards, and your t-shirt's inside out."

"Oh. 'Snice. What day is it?"

"Wednesday," Sirius laughed. "You really are hung over, aren't you?"

Remus made some indistinguishable noise as a response. "Why are you home?" he asked, dropping onto the sofa next to Sirius.

"I told them I was taking the day off. I know you need help closing up the lab."

"I have to do that today, don't I?" Remus sighed. He leaned his head against Sirius's shoulder. "Great."

"I'll help you."

"Thanks." They sat in silence for a moment. "Sirius?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

Sirius kissed his forehead. "You're welcome," he said softly.

"I'm sorry about last night."

"No problems. It's not like you haven't taken a hard enough beating to have earned it,"

"Yeah." Remus shifted in the soft cushions. "But I'm sorry you had to sleep on the sofa."

Sirius laughed. "I'm just relieved you didn't boot in bed."

"Wanker," Remus said, elbowing him. Sirius elbowed back. "But thanks."

"Any time."

***

It took three days for Remus to sort through the lab. Sirius helped the first day and Dumbledore came by on the third, but the truth was it was a long, lonely process for him. Remus hadn't realized just how much Caradoc had come to mean to him until he leafed through the erratic pages of notes and the books and paraphernalia. When he found the unopened box of gingersnaps, he had to stop work for a full hour and go for a walk; the fast, burning kind in the cold that made it hard to think and tired out the mind.

When it was done, the lab was just an empty set of rooms full of boxes and cages, lacking any personality or warmth or excitement. It was easier to walk away than he expected, because the lab was no longer the place he'd worked and been happy. That place existed only in his mind.

It was three twenty three in the afternoon. James was at practice, training hard, discussing strategies. Peter was at work, bent over his desk or his cauldron, experimenting. Sirius was hopefully in the Ministry studying case files, but more likely at an attack site or tracking a Dark Wizard or suspected Death Eater. And Remus was locking up an empty lab, with no place to go but an empty flat.

He pulled his cloak around him and walked, and eventually his steps took him to the flat Lily and James shared. There was a light on in the window and the smell of baking bread coming from the chimney; he grinned and knocked.

"Remus!" Lily greeted him in bare feet and an old robe. Her hair was pinned back in a messy bun and she looked tired. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "I closed the lab."

"Oh." Lily opened the door wider. "Come on in."

The flat was so clean the surfaces were sparkling. The bread he'd smelled was cooling on a counter- all three loaves of it. A mop was dancing over the floors; it stilled with a wave of Lily's wand.

"Why the domestic binge?" Remus asked, surprised.

Lily flushed. "It's just been... I don't know. Do you want something to drink? It's almost tea time anyway."

Remus shrugged. "Sure. I guess." He sat down at the polished kitchen table. "Are you all right, Lily?"

Lily nodded as she stood over the stove bustling over a kettle and tea leaves, but she didn't say anything until she was seated across from him, mugs of tea in their hands and a plate of scones between them. "It's just... have you ever felt like there was this person you were close to, and there was this huge thing in between you that shouldn't be important but it is?"

Remus decided to refrain from pointing out the whole obvious werewolf thing and just nodded noncommittally.

"It keeps popping up," Lily said, staring at her cup like it was the most fascinating object in the world. "At odd times, just when I don't expect it. Sometimes I'm fine, and sometimes it comes back and I can't stop crying and..." she sniffled, wiping her eyes frantically.

"Does James know about it?" Remus asked quietly, having cottoned on to what she meant the moment she said 'it'.

Lily nodded. "He knows it happened, although I never told him anything else. He knows when it bothers me."

"Often?" he asked, not sure what else to say.

She shook her head. "No. Just sometimes."

"Today?" She nodded. "When you, erm..." he made a vague, suggestive gesture with his hands.

Lily laughed bitterly, dashing the tears away from her eyes. "That's rare. Not that we do it, pervert," she said, kicking Remus under the table when his inner twelve-year old insisted on waggling his eyebrows. "That I feel that way when we're having sex- that's what's rare. It comes up on me unexpectedly."

"Is that why you're doing your best Witches' Weekly impression here?" Remus asked, waving his hand at the clean flat and fresh bread.

"No." Lily's voice was growing stronger now each time she spoke. "That's... something entirely unrelated," she said, and now her eyes glowed. Remus had noted the sharp shadows beneath them and began to wonder. "But that- I can't tell you what that is but
that- has been another thing, too. It's something I want and James isn't ready, but there's no ready anymore."

"Uh-huh." His mind was rapidly translating. He thought he might be right, but if it was it was one of those subjects where you couldn't (or shouldn't) push, and if he was wrong, that was even more embarrassing.

"But I'm talking too much," Lily decided, and put her cup down decisively. "I'm sorry. You come here just after losing a friend and I prattle on about what's bothering me."

Remus reached out and squeezed her hand. "It's fine. We were there together. Lily? Does James know, erm, that I... know?" She shook her head, and he couldn't help but be relieved. "All right. I just wanted to check."

She made an odd expression he didn't quite understand, and then squeezed his hand back. "So what are you going to do now that the lab is gone?" she asked, and he suddenly understood that unpredictable vertigo of standing on the edge of a cliff that she must feel when memories took her over.

He could see a back alley and smell the garbage, see a dingy flat with a water-stained mattress. He could feel cold biting into his bones and hunger gnawing at his gut, and wind swept through his mind. He shivered.

"I'll find something." Lily's face contorted in sympathy, and he wanted to push her away. Instead he met her eyes with a steady, dry gaze. "I'll be fine, Lily."

She understood, and she smiled in response. "I know you will, Remus."

***

Two nights later it was a Wednesday night; a boys' night as always. The four of them were sprawled around Sirius's living room, drinking beer and playing Exploding Snap. Sirius had secretly been worried that the revelation of his and Remus's relationship would taint these nights, especially as Lily and Tina were quite explicitly not invited. But it never seemed to come up, perhaps because he and Remus were, well, him and Remus. As if reading his thoughts, Remus grinned at him from across the floor and lifted his beer slightly, in salute.

"I really wish I was better at this game," James growled, tossing in another losing hand. Smoke was released in satisfying cracks as the cards hit the floor. "Honestly. Every time we play, I lose."

"It's all luck, mate," Peter said smugly. "All luck. And you, my friend, just have lousy luck."

"I do. Lousy luck. Miserable" James lamented. "But," he continued, sounding more purposeful, "sometimes that lousy luck turns out to be good."

"Like when you burned a hole in your Transfiguration essay and McGonagall gave us an extension because she had the flu?" Peter asked.

"Well, kind of like that, but..." James took a long drink of beer, and realizing what was coming, Sirius did too. "I have some news."

"Let me guess," Peter said with a grin. "You're quitting the Wasps to take on Filch's job because he's running off with Poppy Pomfrey to build a little love nest."

"You're leaving us early tonight and going out for drinks with Snape," Remus suggested.

"No. Lily's pregnant," James said.

Remus looked down and peeled the label off his beer bottle, but Sirius could see the smile creasing his eyes. And his own face was beginning to grin. But Peter stared at James with his eyes wide with shock.

"Drinks with Snape is more believable."

"What, than that yes, Lily actually slept with me and I managed to put her up the pole?" James laughed. He looked much more relaxed about it than he had a few months back.

"How far along is she, James?" Remus asked.

"She's in her second trimester."

"Wait." Peter was still gawking. "You waited how long to tell us?"

"Well, Lily said it's best to wait until now," James said defensively. "The chance of miscarriage drops, and especially with as much stress as everyone's under these days, it just seemed best."

"Second trimester is, what, three months?"

"Almost four," James admitted.

Peter looked at Remus, who shrugged placidly, and then at Sirius, who flushed and looked away. "You both know," he said slowly. "Both of you know already."

"I wasn't sure," Remus admitted. "But when I talked to Lily the other day, she said something that made me think she might be expecting." Peter snorted, and then his eyes bored into Sirius.

"Come on, Wormtail," James pleaded. "When do I ever not tell Sirius something first?"

"You both knew, and none of you told me."

"It wasn't our secret-"

"News," Sirius corrected very, very quickly.

"-To tell," Remus finished. "Come on, Peter. It's not that big of a deal."

"I'm always the last to know," Peter muttered, crossing his arms and leaning back against the sofa.

Sirius sighed impatiently. "What was James supposed to do, Peter? Tell all three of us at once? Come on. He didn't have any idea that Moony might know, either."

"Bet you told him," Peter muttered.

"Bet he didn't," James immediately flared.

Remus shook his head. "Sirius didn't say anything. I only figured it out through Lily."

"You would stick up for him, because you're his fucking bitch. You bend over for him whene-" Peter never finished, because Sirius had launched himself at him, magic forgotten and fists flying. It took the combined efforts of Remus, James, and a few elementary but well-placed hexes to separate them again, but when they did, Peter was white and shaking and tearful.

"I'm sorry," he said, before Sirius had to say a word. "I didn't mean to say it. Remus, I'm sorry." Remus, whose face was just as white but with splotches of high color on his cheeks, pursed his lips together and nodded. Peter turned to face James and Sirius. "I'm sorry."

"We're all wound up these days," James said, when the silence stretched a little too long.

"Right. With everything that's going on..." Peter added, dabbing at his lip. It had split from one of the two punches that Sirius had landed. Remus silently went into the kitchen and to freeze water for a quick ice pack.

"Tempers are bound to get a little out of control. I'm sorry that I didn't say anything sooner, Peter." James was casual, but Sirius could see the effort in the strain of the tendons in his neck. He pressed his lips together to keep from saying that this was James's news and James shouldn't have to apologize for not telling the others until he was ready. If Peter only knew how much sleep James had lost over this baby already....

"It's all right," Peter was saying. "I overreacted." He extended his hand to James, and James took it. He pulled Peter in, hand on his shoulder in something between a handshake and a hug. Peter turned back to Sirius, his hand extended again. "Sirius?"

Sirius took it, but not as willingly as James had. "We're all right," he said grudgingly, because even though it wasn't all right this minute, it would be in the morning.

"Well then," Peter said awkwardly. "I should get going. Work tomorrow."

"We'll see you at the Order meeting tomorrow night?" James confirmed.

"I think so. Good night." Peter left hastily, figurative tail between his legs. The other three stood in silence before the fire for a long time.

Remus spoke first. "I'm going to bed. Prongs, have a good night, and give my love and congratulations to Lily. And congratulations to you, too." He clapped James on the shoulder, his hand lingering in a quick squeeze. James covered it briefly with his own. Remus paused briefly by Sirius, dropping a quick kiss on his cheek near his mouth. "Good night," he whispered, and Sirius recognized it as tacit permission to stay as long as he needed with James.

"You okay?" he asked James once the bedroom door had shut.

"Yeah. Of course. Are you?"

Sirius half-shrugged, half-nodded. "Do you want one more beer before you go?"

"All right."

They settled at the kitchen table, neither of them in any sort of hurry. "I suppose that's been a long time in coming," James laughed bitterly.

"What do you mean?"

"We've all known each other for nine years now, almost ten, and I don't know that we've ever thrown punches at each other."

"Even when we deserved it." Sirius took a sip. "What got into Peter, anyway?"

"Tina," James said conclusively. "Lily and I dropped by the other night. We were actually going to tell them about the baby, funnily enough. But when we got to the door we could hear them arguing. She said she needed a commitment, and soon, or she was going to have to resort to drastic measures and he didn't want that."

Sirius whistled through his teeth. "You know, I'm beginning to think Moony's right about her."

James made a face. "You do realize that's a lot of Peter's problem with Remus these days?"

"Well, it's not like Tina's that nice to him!" Sirius retorted.

"I think she has a problem with... er..." James flushed, "you and him."

Sirius's snort was as expressive as any words he could have uttered.

"Look, it's not that easy a thing to get used to," James said. "I mean, I'm still not totally used to it. It was weird just now to see Remus kiss you. I'm not saying he shouldn't have or anything," James inserted quickly as Sirius's face began to contort in annoyance, "but it takes some getting used to. You can't expect everyone to turn over and be excited about it all at once."

"I know," Sirius relented, thinking of Damien and James and yes, even himself and Remus. "He'll get over it."

"Yeah."

"Speaking of not easy... how are you doing with the coming of Prongs junior?"

"Better," James admitted. "It's still unnerving-"

"Yeah, well, the thought of
you as a father-"

"Don't make me hex you, Padfoot. It's getting easier, though. I'm starting to get excited."

"That's good."

"Yeah. Hey, thanks for the beer and everything, but I should get home, before Lily kills me. Pregnant women, you know..." James smirked.

"Fortunately, I don't. Have a good night, Prongs."

"You too."

***

Remus was lying awake when Sirius entered the bedroom. He watched the silhouette as Sirius tried to get ready for bed without waking him, but when Sirius slid under the covers he gave up and moved over to him. "Hey."

"Hey." Sirius wrapped a warm arm around him. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Remus said. "James head home?"

"Yeah, before Lily sends out search squads." Sirius paused. "Remus?"

"Mmm?"

"Were you upset I didn't tell you about the baby?"

Remus propped himself up on one elbow. His eyes had adjusted to the dark and he could just see the outline of Sirius's face in the moonlight coming in through the window. "Sirius, you and James have always been... well, you and James. I would have been shocked if it had played out any differently."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Now stop acting like a girl, you great oaf." Remus shoved his shoulder, other thoughts on his mind.

"But Peter-"

"Peter needs to get his head out of his arse tonight, I think we can all agree on that. He only said one thing that was right, and although I'm a little alarmed by his accuracy, who am I to argue?"

"What's that?" Amusement was creeping into Sirius's voice.

"That I'll bend over just about any time for you." Remus nudged him rather insistently.

Sirius chuckled. "Like I have that much say in the matter."

"Like you mind." Remus nudged him again, and was rewarded with Sirius's warm hand gliding over his arm.

"Fine," Sirius sighed, in his best long-suffering voice. "Once again I will succumb to your whims and fuck you through the mattress. You're so demanding, Remus."

"Oh, how you suffer," Remus coached, closing his eyes as Sirius began to nuzzle his neck.

"I do. I really do. A live-in lover who is always willing to give me sex on tap and has a tendency to wander around half-dressed when no one else is here and is naked underneath me...."

"I'm beside you."

Sirius flipped him over and pulled his weight on top. "Better?"

"Much." Then words and banter weren't required, and only sensation was needed. Sensation that drove away darkness and insecurities and hurts that Remus wouldn't ever admit to, and left him sated and sweaty and with Sirius draped across his back, kissing his cheek.

This was his sanctuary. As long as they could be alone like this, he wouldn't let anything touch him.

***

February melted into March, which blew into April, and even as the snow melted and the days lengthened and the sunshine intensified, the world drew in around them and became darker and darker. Three more Aurors had been attacked, although only one had died. Shacklebolt had been in St. Mungo's recovering for over a month, and Doge had been hurt himself, although the damage was minor. Threats or promises, depending on how you looked at it, that the Aurors would be allowed to use Unforgivable Curses in apprehending suspects became louder.

The Order was fairing little better. Already they'd lost members: Marlene McKinnon had been killed with her family ages ago. Caradoc had disappeared. And in late March, the Dark Mark rose above Edgar Bones' house, and again, an entire wizarding family was lost. The last was terrifying, because the Bones family was not a Muggleborn family, and as far as Sirius knew had not had too many Muggleborns marry in. They weren't as pureblooded as the Blacks or the Malfoys, but they were still considered "respectable enough" by such families... at least for association.

Sirius had told Peter about Edgar Bones's death very carefully. He could understand Peter's fear for his own family, and if a near-pureblood family had been attacked, the safety of Peter's family would certainly be in question as well. But Peter had taken the news very calmly- almost uncharacteristically so. Sirius had been impressed.

Peter was getting quieter these days, ever since that fight when James announced his wife was pregnant. Sirius remembered what James had said about Tina wanting some sort of commitment. He noticed Peter never mentioned any sort of engagement, but he still seemed to see her frequently. The other three didn't- Tina was clearly avoiding them, which Peter finally explained had a lot to do with her discomfort around Remus. Between the homosexuality, the knowledge that
something was different about him, and the clear fact that Remus didn't like her (although Sirius thought he did an admirable job of hiding it), the battle lines were pretty clearly drawn. And yet, for all that, the few times Sirius saw her without Remus he noticed a deep hatred in her eyes when Remus's name was mentioned- something too deep to really be explained by Peter's reasons.

But that was Peter's problem, he supposed, because he had enough of his own.

He was rarely home before eight anymore, and even weekends were slipping away fast. There were more trips around England to chase down Death Eaters, but their success rate was dropping. Damien was rapidly growing frustrated, and his temper was close to snapping. And on the nights Sirius came home before ten, he came home to find Remus tired and drawn and faking an ease Sirius knew he didn't feel.

Seventy-two resumés had been sent out. Seventy-two. Remus had had three potential employers owl him out of that, and only one felt it important to tell him why he wasn't getting any interest in his resumé: the utter lack of references with Caradoc's death, and yes, the news was out. They knew Remus was a werewolf. So there were no jobs, and Remus was left twisting in the wind, sitting in the flat all day and waiting for owls that weren't going to come.

Remus was still- to the best of Sirius's knowledge, anyway- "working" for the Death Eaters. He hadn't said a word about it since the night he'd confided Dumbledore's plan in Sirius, and Sirius hadn't asked. Talking about it was too dangerous, even he could recognize that. In fact, Sirius had the suspicion Remus shouldn't have even told him.

There were days when Sirius wondered what they were fighting for. Wondered why he and Remus didn't just say bullocks to it all and run off to America or Greece or Timbuktu and live there. They could convince James and Lily to come, and Peter could bring his family, and they could forget Voldemort and the war he'd wrought over something as stupid and insignificant as who had what ancestors. But then he picked up the paper and saw the reports of purebloods dying because they dared to disagree. He went into work and he saw the destroyed houses, the dead bodies of children, and the ruined lives and he knew that no matter how idiotic Voldemort's reasons might be for waging this war, the war had to be fought, because the lives that would otherwise be lost were worth fighting for. And to run away would be as bad as just joining the Death Eaters himself. He listened to Lily and James and Frank and Alice talk about the children that were coming, and the world they hoped their children would have, and the lives that they deserved. He thought that if Voldemort had his way, James's child would never see the light of day. He thought of his best friend standing at a tiny graveside- or worse, two gravesides- and he remembered the day that Remus and Damien had buried Marilyn. And with the horrid clarity of one of Peter's visions he saw himself at Hogwarts, burying Remus and not able to leave the gravesite. And he knew that yes, there were things worth fighting for, and if he lost his life doing it, it would be worth it.

He just wished he wouldn't have to.

***

Remus took a deep breath, looking up at the carved wooden sign. The Dragon Rider Pub seemed warm and friendly when he was coming here to drink, and it was certainly the backdrop to many Order meetings, but today, when he stood clutching the Help Wanted ads from the Daily Prophet, it seemed intimidating. But there was nothing to be done for it. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

It was two-thirty in the afternoon, and the pub was nearly empty. The lunchtime crowds had long gone back to work, and even the most ardent supporters of the four-day weekend hadn't yet called in. A young woman was at the bar wiping down glasses; Remus approached her and asked if he could speak to the owner.

Fabian came out of his office with ink on his fingers and a worried expression on his face. "Remus! Is everything all right?"

"Yes, as far as I know. I came-"

"No one's dead?"

"Not right now. I'm here because-"

"No one's gone missing?"

"No. I saw your ad-"

"Then what are you doing here?"

Remus blinked at him. "I saw your ad in the paper. You're looking for someone to work nights?"

Fabian laughed. "No, seriously. What are you doing here?" Remus waved the paper, and the laughter faded from Fabian's face. "You are serious," he said.

"Yes. Look, I'm willing to work any hours you can give me. I can't give you employer references as Caradoc is dead, but I can give you references from Hogwarts to tell you that I am reliable and that I-"

"Hold up, hold up!" Fabian said, hands up. "You want to work here? Remus, why? I mean, that job is for some spotty kid just out of Hogwarts!"

"I'm only two years out of Hogwarts," Remus pointed out.

"Yeah, but... I mean... you were working with Caradoc Dearborn. Can't you get a job in the research world?"

"Not without references," Remus said evenly.

Fabian shook his head. "Look, Remus, I'm flattered, but this is just ridiculous. I'm looking for someone to take out the trash and wait tables and maybe tend bar every now and then. This isn't the kind of job you're looking for."

"Fabian-"

"Besides, if word gets out to anyone that you're a... well, a you-know-what, then no one will ever come here again, you're out a job, and I'm out a business."

"So don't have me tend bar or wait tables," Remus said quickly. "Keep me in the kitchen. I'll sweep up, I'll do the trash, I'll wash dishes, I'll do whatever you need." He managed to keep the waver out of his voice, but it was hard. He'd never thought he'd have to beg.

"Remus-"

"Look, Fabian, please. I've got seven Sickles left in my account at Gringotts. That's it. I haven't told Sirius yet-"

"Well, whyever not?" Fabian's brow furrowed. "Remus, something will come along."

"No, it won't! Look, I'll get down on my knees if I have to, but please. You need someone to work here. I need a job. I'll do a better job than some kid just out of Hogwarts, and you know it. Please."

The world hovered on the edge of a knifeblade. Finally, Fabian sighed.

"All right, Remus. You can start tomorrow."

***

"You're doing what?" Sirius demanded.

"Working at the Dragon Rider Pub." Remus said it like it was no big deal as he shrugged off his robe and wriggled out of his jeans.

"Remus, are you out of your mind?"

"No. I'm out of money." Sirius went silent at that, and Remus turned around to see his stricken face. "What? You know Caradoc wasn't paying me much. It's why I moved in here. But I couldn't save much and most of what I had saved is gone and-"

"You should have said something." Remus shook his head, looking away. "I mean it," Sirius continued. "You've been giving me money for rent and buying half the food and everything. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I don't want to be a kept man," Remus answered.

Silence.

He turned around to see Sirius, flushed red and clearly angry. "What?"

"Is that what it would be to you? If I helped you out a little? Like me paying you for sex?"

"Well..."

"I can't believe you'd even think that!"

"Hey!" Remus pulled up straight, regardless of the fact he was standing dressed only in boxers and socks. "I told you from the very beginning I didn't want to be dependent on you!"

"Yeah, but to think I'd be paying you for sex? Come on, Remus, what sort of opinion do you have of me?"

"Of you?" Remus stopped suddenly, the reason for Sirius's anger finally penetrating his skull and seeping into his brain. "It's not about you, Sirius. It's about me."

"Sure doesn't seem that way," Sirius growled, snatching up a t-shirt.

"Wait- where are you going?"

"Who said I'm going anywhere?"

"You're getting dressed." Remus's heart began to hammer an odd beat.

"I'm not sure I want to share a bed tonight with someone who thinks my only concern for him is sex."

"That is NOT what I said!"

"Well, why else would you get so worked up about it?"

"Why else? Sirius, I haven't had a paycheck in months! I have seven Sickles to my name, and before tonight no way whatsoever of getting any more! I've had seventy-two rejections, and when I finally do get a job, piss-poor as it may be, you tell me I'm out of my mind?"

"Well, it's still pretty shabby of you to assume that I'm going to kick you out on your arse unless you don't pay halves on everything!" Sirius retorted, face flushed with an ugly red as he yanked the shirt over his head. "I've been ready for this."

"What?" Remus turned enough to gape at him.

"Oh, come on, Remus. We've known this day was coming. Frankly, I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier." Sirius jammed his foot into a boot, cursing as he realized it was the wrong foot.

"Say that again," Remus said, eyes narrowing.

"Don't give me that shit, Remus.
You've known this day was coming."

"So you're saying I deserve this. That I should have been better prepared." Remus crossed his arms over his bare chest, and Sirius threw up his hands in exasperation.

"Would you stop twisting everything I'm saying?"

"Why? You did it to me."

"ARGH!" Sirius threw his hands up. "I'm going to James's," he snapped, and stomped out of the room.

Remus sat in the messy bedroom, suddenly cold in the wake of the argument. They hadn't fought like this in years... certainly not since they'd become lovers. The fire drained out of him leaving him with a cold, bitter wrenching somewhere between his stomach and his throat. He got up and crept out into the living room, but no Sirius. Only a fire burning, and sprinkles of Floo powder on the carpet.

***

It was late when Sirius arrived home. James had offered to let him spend the night, but Sirius had the suspicion Remus wouldn't sleep until he was back. Not that he could blame him. These days, no one wanted to sleep without knowing where their loved ones were.

James had been soothing, even if there had been a bit of smugness there that Sirius was finally the one begging for relationship advice. Lily, on the other hand, had calmed Sirius down with tea and gentle pats on the arm and sympathetic eyes, and then a stern reminder that Remus probably
was looking at it from his own perspective, and that Sirius might have blown things a little out of proportion. She said it in such a way that Sirius felt more a heel for not admitting that she was right than he ever would have for what he'd said.

Really, when you thought about it, it was all very silly and stupid. And as both James and Lily pointed out, not important when your life was on the line every day.

The flat wasn't completely dark; Remus had left a candle burning in the living room. Sirius blew it out and crept into their bedroom.

Remus was asleep, curled on his side and so far over on his side of the bed he was in danger of falling off. Sirius shucked off his clothes and eased under the covers, wrapping his arm around Remus's waist and pulling him back to center.

"Sirius?" Remus murmured, his eyes slitting open.

"It's just me," Sirius said softly. "Look, I'm sorry about earlier."

Remus turned over to face him, rubbing his eyes. "I am too. It's just-"

Sirius quieted him with a finger over his lips. "You're tired and scared, I'm tired and scared, and we're both under a lot of stress. We both said a lot of things we didn't mean." Remus nodded, the light of the candle on Sirius's nightstand reflecting off his eyes. "Let's not worry about it. It's over."

"But the money-"

"Listen. You tell me what you can afford, and we'll work it out from there, okay?"

"All right." Remus's voice sounded very small in the darkness. Sirius nuzzled the place where his jaw met his neck, trying to reassure. "Sirius... I'm sorry."

"I know."

And there was nothing more to do than to show Remus just how much he knew, and just how sorry he was as well.

***

The sun burst through the watery clouds just in time to light the first Quidditch match of the Wimborne Wasps' season. James was in his element, now starting as a Chaser. The stands were well over half-full already and more people were filing in when Sirius and Remus took their seats.

"I can't believe Peter gave up his tickets for today," Sirius said, scanning the field. "He's crazy."

"Tina," Remus said heavily, although he tried to restrain the dislike in his voice. "She got him to do it. They had some... thing... to go to."

"Yeah, what was that, anyway? Hey, here come the Potters." Sirius's face lit up as he waved. Remus smiled wistfully as James's parents climbed the stands, followed closely by two people he vaguely remembered as Lily's parents.

The Potters gestured very politely to the two Evanses to enter the row before them. Mrs. Evans's cheeks were red with the spring wind and she looked nervous, although Mr. Evans looked significantly more at ease. Mrs. Potter had her cloak pulled tightly around her shoulders. She smiled at Remus and Sirius. Her smile was definitely wider and warmer for Sirius, although Remus didn't mind.

"Where's Peter today?" Timothy Potter asked, rearranging the seats so he sat beside Mr. Evans.

"He never really said what he was doing," Sirius said with a shrug.

"Something with his girlfriend," Remus muttered.

"Oh, that nice Lovegood girl?" Mrs. Potter seemed far more interested than either Sirius or Remus ever would have been. "She and James and her brother always got along so well; I'm glad Peter is still seeing her. Any chance of either of you finding a nice girl one of these days?"

Sirius and Remus looked at each other for a moment, and then burst out laughing.

"Well, no need to get snippy," Mrs. Potter said, but she didn't seem offended. "There's plenty of time for the two of you, isn't there?"

"And as much as you think Prongs changes, some things never do, do they?" Sirius murmured into Remus's ear. Mrs. Potter had turned back to the conversation between Mr. Potter and Mr. Evans, but Mrs. Evans arched an eyebrow at them in a manner so reminiscent of Lily catching them doing
something wrong in Gryffindor Tower that Remus edged away from Sirius without even thinking about it. Some things never quite changed, indeed.

Fortunately, the announcer began his opening spiel about the teams and the mascots rushed out onto the field. Sirius and Remus began arguing about the Seekers, and the adults dropped into a boring conversation in the background. There was something about being here, the two of them together, that made the world creep off into oblivion and fade into unimportance, even if they were just talking and laughing at a Quidditch game instead of curled around each other in their flat.

The game was anything but a disappointment, with lots of action, a close score, and no appearance of the Snitch for quite some time. Remus was actually starting to get a bit restless and sore in the bum when Mrs. Evans prodded him.

"Remus, is there a concession stand or something?"

"Down the stairs and to the right," Sirius piped up, and flipped two sickles at Remus. "Get a bag of Beans and a butterbeer for me, too, will you?"

Slightly annoyed because it meant missing the game, and because Sirius had given him enough for two butterbeers, the Beans, and a Never-Ending Pretzel Twist as well, Remus stood up. His legs were grateful, and so, apparently, was Mrs. Evans.

"Not the most comfortable seats, are they?" she asked.

It was somewhat awkward to walk with her, in a way that he could never explain to anyone else because the ring Lily gave him was a constant reminder of a promise he kept. He unconsciously kept glancing at the Quidditch pitch, straining to see the game. He felt Mrs. Evans' eyes on him, but she didn't say anything until they reached the stand.

"Do you know what you want?" he asked her. She was staring at the bright packages behind the bored saleswizard with wide eyes.

"I'm not sure what everything is," she admitted.

"Yeah, my Mum never got it sorted out, either," Remus admitted with a smile, even though there was a tug on his heart as he spoke. "What do you fancy? We can figure it out from there."

Mrs. Evans shrugged and stepped to the side to allow other people access to the stand. "Your mother passed away recently, right?" Remus looked away. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have brought it up."

"It's all right," Remus lied, forcing a smile. "She was a Muggle though, so..." he trailed off, because there was no real ending to that sentence. They stood in awkward silence.

"Well," Mrs. Evans finally said, a brisk tine in her voice. "Want to explain wizarding refreshments to me?

***

The match was still exciting, but Sirius was restless with Remus and Mrs. Evans gone, and their two empty seats between him and the other three adults. So when he caught sight of Kingsley Shacklebolt waving to him from a few sections away, he slipped out of the row and over to the other set of stands.

"Black." Shacklebolt was relaxed and friendly, a small boy clinging to his hand. "Enjoying the game?"

"Yeah. My best friend's one of the starting Chasers," Sirius said.

"Hear that?" Kingsley asked the little boy at his side. "Which one?"

"James Potter."

"I like Potter!" the boy piped up. "He's one of my favorites!" He had huge dark eyes and dimples- Sirius couldn't help smiling at him.

"Sirius, this is my son Gabriel. Gabriel, this is Mr. Black. He works with Daddy." Sirius had to fight down the urge to laugh, both at hearing Shacklebolt talk like that and at hearing himself referred to as Mr. Black in such a serious manner. "And this is my wife," Kingsley continued, touching a pretty woman on the shoulder to get her attention. "Annabelle, this is Sirius Black."

"Nice to meet you," Annabelle extended her hand. "I've heard a fair bit about you. Are you here with anyone?"

Sirius flushed. It was always an odd question to answer, especially since he wasn't sure if Kingsley had heard rumors or guessed, and especially with Mrs. Potter's ignorance still fresh in his mind. "Just Remus," he said with a quick shrug. Fortunately, Kingsley had lost any minimal interest he might have had in his co-worker's social life and was watching the game.

"Potter's really an excellent flier," he said to Sirius. "Good reflexes, too."

Sirius beamed with pride. "He was a reserve last year, but they're starting him already. He's got eyes in the back of his head for those Bludgers, and man, his penalty shots! You should see them!"

Shacklebolt chuckled. "What are you, his manager?"

"Funny. James always says that his Quidditch skills are what got Lily to marry him. He's dead wrong, of course, but we let him keep his illusion."

"Is his wife here?" Annabelle asked, obviously hopeful for some female company.

Sirius nodded. "She's got the good seats, way over there." He pointed to the front row seat where Lily was perched, her red hair a beacon. He couldn't see her clearly but he'd bet she was watching the game intently and probably chewing in her lip with worry and excitement. "I think she-"

What Sirius thought, the Shacklebolts would never know, because that was when the explosions happened.

Three explosions, simultaneous and thunderously loud. Black smoke billowed ominously towards the bright blue sky, driven higher by terrified screams and panic. The explosions, Sirius was horrified to see, had been in the stands.

He was aware of Shacklebolt thrusting Gabriel at Annabelle and giving her terse instructions. A yellow and black blur caught his eye as James Potter swooped to the stands, hauling his wife onto his broomstick. A woman was sobbing; he could hear her voice clearly, and it pierced through his consciousness and into his soul. And in his nostrils he could smell the thick, metallic scent of smoke and the tang of blood and the sickening stench of charred flesh as the stands burned.

***

Standing at the concession stand behind the stands, Remus and Mrs. Evans had been badly shaken by the explosions but were unhurt. But they were among the first to see them: Death Eaters, by the hundreds, all alike in hooded robes and masks, walking towards the field. When a wizard got in their way, there was a flash of light and a body on the ground in their wake.

Mrs. Evans screamed.

Remus couldn't blame her, even as he drew his wand up, prepared to fight and quite aware he was very likely to die. Two Death Eaters broke the ranks and advanced towards them, and with cold eyes and a distorted voice and no pause at all one pointed his wand and pronounced "Avada Kedavra," and Mrs. Evans was lying on the ground, dead, eyes staring sightlessly at the sky. Remus didn't scream, he didn't rage, and he didn't pause, he just flung an Entrail-Expelling curse at the Death Eater in response.

The other Death Eater raised his wand, and Remus took a deep breath. But the Death Eater was shoved out of the way by another of his number, exactly the same except the family ring on his finger.

Regulus pointed his wand at Remus. "Stupefy."

Remus's world went dark before he hit the ground.

***

Someone had put out a call to the Auror headquarters, and familiar faces were popping in around Sirius, taking control, trying to calm people. Mediwizards meant for the Quidditch players were running to the stands, trying to help, and everywhere there were people trying to put out the fires.

By chance, or because the mass movement caught his eye, Sirius looked down, and he saw them. The Death Eaters.

He wanted to call out for Remus, but his voice froze in his throat. So many of them. How had Voldemort amassed such a large support? Ranks of them, all in those damned masks and hoods, impossible to tell name or talent or even gender. The chaos was sweeping over the stands, and those who weren't panicking before were now gripped by terror.

"Sirius." Damien Lupin had Apparated before him. "Are you all right?"

Sirius dragged his eyes away from the scene on the ground. "I'm fine."

"Where's Remus?"

His heart clenched hard in his chest. "He went to the concession stand with Mrs. Evans, but-"
And that was when it hit him- it was
them- the section that they'd been sitting in that had exploded and was on fire.

"Oh, Merlin," he whispered, watching the flames.

But there was no time for personal grief. No time to worry or hope or think- now was the time to act. "Round up as many as you can," Damien was saying to him and Shacklebolt. "Let others get the people out and worry about the healing. Our job is to catch Death Eaters."

"Right."

Damien and Shacklebolt took off down the stairs, and Sirius willed his frozen legs to follow them. The stairs seemed interminable and yet flew by at the same time, and then they were bursting out into the sunlight, ash sifting down on their hair as they faced a field of Death Eaters.

Shacklebolt stopped in his tracks, causing Damien and Sirius to nearly run into him. "Wait," he said. "What do we do?"

"What do you mean, what do we do?" Damien asked. "We're Aurors!"

"And that means we're sitting ducks!"

"Shacklebolt, there are things worth dying for!"

"Lupin, it's pointless! Look, I don't mean fighting Voldemort is pointless. I mean charging out there waving our wands into a hundred Death Eaters is pointless. We'll be killed before we even take out two! We need a strategy!"

"We don't have time for a strategy. We need-"

Sirius grabbed Damien's arm. "Look!"

Standing to the side, in a dark corner and watching the proceedings, was a tall man with black hair, distorted features, and black robes. He didn't wear a mask or a hood, and his eyes glowed with interest at the proceedings.

"That's him," Sirius whispered. "Voldemort."

The new plan was clear. Sneak up on Voldemort, dispatch him, and go from there. The three men exchanged glances, barely needing to speak.

They didn't get far. There was a flash of light, and a yellow and black blur. Sirius looked up, and he couldn't scream out or beg or anything else, because fear froze his tongue to the roof of his mouth and choked his throat as James and Lily faced Voldemort, hovering feet off the ground.

Voldemort didn't laugh maniacally. He didn't screech for Death Eaters to kill them. He said something- Sirius couldn't hear it from this distance, but his face was pleasant, with an overlay of mockery. And then he spun his wand and fired, a jet of light shooting at the pair.

Not for nothing was James a starting Chaser on one of the top teams of England. If they'd been on the ground, they surely would be dead... or worse. But a quick evasion, and then both James and Lily were firing back, one green-blue bolt and one red one, and Voldemort was deflecting them with ease. Back and forth, and Sirius was held spellbound by the display, wanting to intervene or stop or sneak up and destroy but afraid that anything he attempted would only hurt James and Lily.

One more crashing lightning bolt, and James veered the broom upwards. Sirius couldn't read his mind for real, but he knew James well enough to know James knew he was defeated. James might risk his own life, but he'd never risk Lily and their child. And like Shacklebolt had said, it was pointless to die when your death didn't accomplish a thing.

He wasn't sure what to do now, and beside him Damien was frozen in the same way. On the field the Death Eaters were disorganized to an extent, some watching Voldemort, James, and Lily, and some focused on the stands and the people that were fleeing the stadium.

He didn't have to make a decision, because a thestral landed, and an old, familiar wizard was dismounting. There was an explosion of air and light, throwing the Aurors to the ground painlessly. Sirius lifted his head, watching the interchange between the two wizards. Dumbledore looked taller somehow; powerful, like the pictures of Merlin and Rasputin and the wizards of old, when magic was a weapon as much as a tool.

He didn't know the spells that Dumbledore and Voldemort were throwing back and forth, and he suspected he never would. But he did know it when Voldemort Disapperated, and the Death Eaters followed, like a string pulled to unravel a cloth.

And then the universe breathed again.

***

"
Ennervate."

Remus opened his eyes slowly, sitting up and groaning as he felt the pain in his head.

"Careful," the person above him said, helping him sit with large, rough hands that were gentle and possessive at the same time.

"Dad?"

"Remus." His father embraced him tightly. "You're alive."

"I think so."

Damien backed away so he could check for other wounds. Remus sat patiently through the examination, not really wanting to look around as memory returned. "Nothing looks broken, although you have a nasty cut on your head."

Remus raised his hand to it. "It doesn't feel serious."

"No. Just treat it later."

"I will."

His father looked at the body beside him, and Remus sighed heavily. "I have to tell Lily, don't I?" he said.

Damien nodded, and reached over to close Mrs. Evans eyes. "Do you want help?"

Remus considered. "No, I..." but he did want help, because this was news he knew what it felt like to get. But nothing was ever going to change the feeling for her. "Maybe just into the field?"

"All right."

He struggled to his feet and his father looped his arm around his waist, and together they walked into the field.

***

It seemed like the day would never end.

The Death Eaters were gone, leaving death, destruction, and injury in their wake. The field was unrecognizable, torn up and trampled into mud. The flaming stands were hard to put out, as the fire was magical and required more than just water. Pennants hung in tatters, darkened by the soot that clogged the air. And the people... the people were the worst of all.

Once, Remus had dragged Sirius to the Muggle cinema to see a showing of
Gone with the Wind. The beginning of the story had bored Sirius silly, but the Civil War had more than made up for it. He remembered the pleasant chill and fascination he'd felt at the time, watching history unfold before him. As he stood on the ruined Quidditch field, Sirius suddenly felt like he was standing in Atlanta, watching the wounded come in. It was an exaggeration, some part of him knew- there weren't nearly that many people hurt- but this was also real life.

There had been a bright moment early on, when Remus had staggered towards him, leaning against Damien and with blood smeared on his forehead and matting his dirty hair. His face lit up when he saw Sirius, mirroring the relief in Sirius's heart. There was time for a quick embrace and a moment to reassure each other that they were alive, and then the work had to begin.

Healers had been summoned, and Remus paired off with Alex Sommers, serving as his second set of hands as he helped tend to the dying and injured. At some point during the horrible day Sirius had caught sight of them, Remus's strong, gentle hands holding a girl not much younger than them as Alex treated a freely bleeding wound. The girl was white and shivering, but she didn't cry. Sirus turned away because he could guess what would happen and he didn't want to see.

Not that his own work was remotely better. The details blurred together through the day in a haze of smoke and sadness, but Sirius could remember the worst moments in his nightmares. A frantic chase of stray Death Eaters, ended when he'd been hit hard with a burning hex that scorched his leg and hip The pain and the smell of burning cloth, hair, and flesh and sickened him so badly he'd been forced to stop, and his leg was useless the rest of the day. He remembered helping to pull people out from the wreckage of the stands, soothing the injured and laying out the dead. He'd found the body parts of a man who'd been hit with some Death Eater curse, and another person whose body was crushed beyond recognition. He'd broken down and wept when he'd found a child mangled under a heavy beam of wood, an unconscious mother clinging to his hand. He later heard that the tally was sixty-three dead, but that day it seemed like hundreds.

But nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to what James and Lily had to endure.

After Voldemort and the Death Eaters had gone, James and Lily had returned, terrified and distraught, but resolute. James had gone straight to help with one of the fires and Lily had joined the Healers, as anyone would expect.

It was Lily's strangled cry he heard first, and he turned to see her standing with Remus, his face pale and calm as he gave her the news that her mother was dead. Sirius wanted to go over and comfort her, but he was helping a man to a healer and couldn't. And besides, in a show of absolute strength Lily pulled herself together: after a moment of crying on Remus's shoulder she'd squared her own, tied back her hair again, and gone to do what she could. If Sirius had been wearing a hat at that moment, he would have taken it off to Lily Potter.

But the shrieked, anguished "NO!" that came from the smoldering pile of stands a lifetime later was far, far worse. Sirius had known the voice on a gut level and he'd started hurrying over before his mind even registered that it was James. Lily arrived before he could and Sirius heard her scream, a wail of grief as she turned away and buried her face in James's chest, sobbing. He held on to her as he crumpled to the ground, rocking her and crying as hard himself.

A heavy hand was on Sirius's shoulder, and he leaned into Damien Lupin, shaking and trying to shut out a mind that shouted and raged in denial as he looked at the charred corpses of his adoptive parents, the people who had taken him in with no questions asked when he had no place else to go.

***

It was two in the morning when they arrived at James and Lily's home. Remus helped Lily to bed, gently but firmly insisting that she take a potion Alex had given him specifically, because she needed to sleep for her baby. James sat in an armchair, staring into space, and Sirius sat on the ottoman at his feet, not sure of what to say.

It hadn't been easy when Peter's dad had passed away all those years ago, but they'd known what to do on some instinctive level. When Mrs. Lupin had died, Damien had been there as well, and Remus had found his comfort in Sirius's arms. But now, Sirius was completely adrift, unsure of what to say and his own grief creeping into his mind and threatening to take over. James looked like a child sitting in that large chair, and Sirius had the bizarre urge to wedge himself beside his friend and huddle together like children in a storm. But he stayed where he was.

Remus emerged from the bedroom, tired and dirty and worn. "She's asleep," he reported, his voice dripping exhaustion. He came over to the chair, one hand running gently over Sirius's hair as he faced James. "Are you hurt at all, Prongs?" he asked, indicating a wet bloodstain on James's sleeve.
James shook his head, eyes still fixed on some point only he could see. Remus sighed and disappeared again, and on the edge of his consciousness Sirius was aware of the sound of clinking bottles and closing cabinet doors before Remus returned with healing supplies, and the sound of running water behind him.

"Let me see the arm," he ordered, and took it when James didn't move. "This isn't bad. Anything else?" James didn't answer, so Remus checked him over. "Nothing too bad. Come with me." He maneuvered James up and towards the bathroom, and Sirius heard the water shut off and splash as Remus manhandled James into the bath and gave him strict instructions to wash.

Sirius closed his eyes, sympathy and grief running down the lids and burning the creases. When he opened them, Remus was kneeling at his feet, carefully treating the burnt leg. Sirius reached out and touched his hair.

"This is hard for you," he realized, his voice rough with unshed tears. "Your Mum...."

Remus shrugged, his eyes fastened on Sirius's leg. "It is," he agreed. "But that's not what's important right now. How are you doing?"

Sirius was afraid to open his mouth, because if he did he just might start blubbering and that really wouldn't do at all. Funny, because he'd never thought less of Remus on rare occasions when he'd cried (always after someone died, at least since fifth year), but to cry now, when it was James hurting and James's grief and James who needed help.... Then Remus reached out and put his arms around him and pulled him close, and although Sirius didn't break down his chest began to relax and his throat opened up from its painful constriction.

The fire glowing green was all the warning they had before Peter tumbled out into the room, and the broke apart reluctantly. Sirius noticed with dead eyes that Peter was clean, his robes neat and wrinkled only from the day's wear, his blond hair slightly tousled but not tinged with ash or clotted with blood. But his round face was concerned and anxious, and his hands were wrung together with worry.

"What happened? Is everyone all right? Oh, Merlin, Sirius, that burn! And Remus- what happened to your head?"

Remus put a hand to the cut that was already scabbing over. "We were at the Quidditch game. Did you hear?"

"Of course. It's on all the WWN stations! I went over, of course, and tried to get in, but they weren't letting anyone in unless you were a Healer or an Auror or something."

"Did you tell them you were with the Order?" Sirius asked.

Peter's face fell. "No. I didn't even think of it. But I've been looking for you all everywhere since! What happened? Where are James and Lily?"

"James!" Remus jumped to his feet. "I'll be right back." For the first time all day, Sirius smiled as Remus hastened to the bathroom to rescue their waterlogged friend.

"Sirius?" Peter asked, turning towards him.

"James's parents were killed in one of the stand fires," he said in a flat, emotionless voice.

Peter covered his mouth with his hand and sank down to sit on the sofa. "No," he whispered. "You're having me on."

Sirius shook his head.

Peter seemed very far away, and Sirius wondered if perhaps he was flashing back to when McGonagall and Dumbledore told him that his own father was dead. He looked so scared and lost and heartbroken right now that Sirius would bet Galleons that that was the case.

But like Lily, Peter wasn't a Gryffindor for nothing. He pulled out of the trance with a snap. "Poor James," he said. "And Lily?"

"Her parents, too. Her father was in the stands and her mother... she and Remus were at the concession stand. They AKed her."

"But not Remus?" Peter asked with surprise.

Sirius nodded. "Remus said he got the one that killed her with a curse. The next one just stunned him. Probably hoped he'd die in the stampede."

Peter shook his head, brows furrowed, but he said nothing further as he sank back in the cushions of the sofa. Sirius closed his eyes and let the silence wash over him.

"All right." Remus finally returned. "James is sleeping in bed with Lily. We should stay here tonight, just in case they need us. Peter, is that sofa a fold out?"

Peter came back to life and felt under the cushions. "No."

Remus made a face. "Oh well. I'm not tired anyway."

"Liar," Sirius and Peter chorused.

Remus smiled. "All right, I am, but I won't sleep. Padfoot, go get a shower and get cleaned up, then I'll finish treating your leg and you can sleep on the sofa. Wormtail, want to stay up for a while?"

Peter nodded. "It's the least I can do."

***

Sirius had stretched out on the sofa and Remus had taken a shower himself before he settled down in the kitchen. Peter had made mugs of tea and dug out bread, tomatoes, ham, and salad cream and made them a small meal. Remus sat down and took a long sip of the tea gratefully. "Thanks, Peter."

"You're welcome." Peter settled across from him, nibbling on a sandwich. "Sirius isn't doing too well, is he?"

Remus frowned. "You know how he felt about the Potters. They were like parents to him, and he and James...."

"Do you ever get jealous?" Peter asked wonderingly.

Remus considered the question. It was sort of hard, as his brain was fuzzy and numb. Now that Sirius, James, and Lily were sorted and he was clean and sitting in the brightly lit kitchen with a half-drunk cup of tea on his hands, the exhaustion was catching up to him. His limbs felt loose and a little clumsy, and he was too tired to move much.

"I've always been a little jealous of James," he admitted, the words surprising even him. "But not because of Sirius. I mean, and Sirius just... they're brothers, and that doesn't bother me. But James always had everything, and maybe I hated him for that. Not a lot, obviously, but just a little."

He took another sip of the tea and picked at a sandwich thoughtfully. "When I first met James and Sirius, I hated them both just a little. Well, Sirius partly because he called me a Mudblood, remember? But they were both confident and excited and they laughed all the time and everyone thought they were so good at everything... they were exactly how I wanted to be, you know?"

"I know," Peter said, his voice neutral.

"But then they... they made me into someone like them. Sort of. They gave me what I never thought anyone could and before I knew it I
was like them. It was the greatest feeling in the world."

"And me?" Peter asked.

Remus leaned his head on his hand, thinking. "You're a bit like that," he decided. "But not completely. I felt comfortable with you before I felt comfortable with them, because that's what you are, Peter. You make people feel safe, and liked, and... did I say safe?"

"You did." Peter smirked. "And James?"

"Well, don't tell anyone this, but you know what I remember? Seventh year. Alex and I had just broken up, and I was really upset."

"You never showed it."

Remus waved a hand. "Didn't want anyone to know. Especially because they'd ask why. Want to know why, Peter? I wouldn't sleep with him, but he got it out of me I'd sleep with Sirius. I was so mad."

"Were you in love with Sirius even then?"

Remus snorted. "Not likely. I had a crush- Sirius is so gorgeous and... well, he's Sirius, but I really thought he wouldn't be like me. I would have slept with him, but I probably would have slept with you or James if you'd asked, too." Peter looked nonplussed at that, and Remus laughed. "Don't worry. You're safe. Anyway, it was such a pansy reason to get dumped, and I remember- I remember standing at the station and thinking that I was already a werewolf, Sirius's family was terrible, and you'd lost your dad. Damn it, wasn't it James's turn for some shit? But no, we skipped him and we were back to me. And then it was my Mum who died, me who got tortured, my boss that got killed... it just feels like it should be someone else's turn, you know? Of course, it was James's girl that got raped-"

"Lily was raped, then?" Peter asked, but he didn't sound shocked.

"You knew that. You were there when we showed up." Remus was definitely woozy now, his gestures sloppy and his words slurring from his tongue without thought. "But we don't talk about that. Ever. That's what Lily wanted, and I'd do anything she wanted, especially after how she's treated me."

"Mmm." Peter took a bite of sandwich. "Anyone know you know?"

"No. Never ever told anyone. Never will, either."

"I see. So you've never been jealous of Sirius and James?" Peter pushed him gently back to the original subject.

Remus shook his head, the kitchen fixtures blurring into lines in his eyes as he did so. "Nope. Not once. Tell you another secret though. Sirius has never told me, but I know. He looked at me first because he
knew I was gay. Knew he could get laid with me. I'm sure of it. Wasn't supposed to be like this, see. We were going to sleep together once-"

"This is too much information-" Peter's voice protested from somewhere in the kitchen, but Remus ignored him.

"Just once, just because, well, we were scared. We wanted it to be with each other. But it took forever before we got the chance, and we eventually did it, and somewhere along the way it got more serious and now he says he loves me."

Peter perked up. "Don't you believe him?"

"I believe he thinks it. But with Sirius, everything is black and white. He thinks he loves me. And I feel the same about him, whatever that feeling is. And neither of us wants the ring and the soppy stuff. Just the sex and the friendship. The sex is very, very good, you know."

"Um."

"Phenomenal. I mean, back when I first realized I was gay, I really didn't think I'd ever be wanting a cock up my arse, but Wormtail, you should try it. It's like... like... I don't know how to describe it, but it's so fucking great."

"Okay then. Let's change the subject."

"And rimming-"

"I
said, let's change the subject. Sirius said you saw a Death Eater kill Mrs. Evans."

That sobered Remus's mood. "Yeah. They used Avada Kedabarara-"

"Avada Kedavra."

"That's the one, yes, on her. I got him, though." Remus's head was so heavy now that he let it fall to the table, cushioned in his arms. "I got him good. Made his guts twist together."

"Why didn't they kill you?"

"Don't know, but it was Regulus who stunned me."

"Regulus Black?"

Remus nodded, the grain of the Potter's table smooth and soft beneath his cheek. "We work together. Dumbledore has me spying on the Death Eaters cause I can do Legil-whootchamawatchie, you know, and Regulus helps me not have to kill people, and I help him."

"I see. Does Sirius know?"

"Not 'bout Regulus. Just that I'm doing the spy bit for Dumbledore. 'Sall. I don't tell him anything with this, cause he might know too much and if they ever knew, he could be killed. I don't want anything to happen to my Sirius. Never. It would kill me first and...."

The effort of speaking became too much, and the kitchen spinning forced him to shut his eyes. From across a great distance he heard Peter say, "All right, Remus. Go to sleep. You've told me enough for tonight."

***

Remus woke up the next morning curled uncomfortably in James's armchair, sunlight streaming through the windows and a headache insisting that getting up wasn't the best idea. Sirius was still snoring on the sofa, but other than that the place was quiet.

"Peter?"

Peter emerged from the kitchen, holding up a glass of pumpkin juice and his finger to his lips. Remus stumbled towards him gratefully.

"Merlin, I have a headache," he mumbled as he sat down in the kitchen. "I didn't think the cut was that bad."

Peter sighed. "I'm afraid I had something to do with that. Last night, when I made tea, yours was Odgen's Old that I Transfigured into tea. I knew you wouldn't drink it otherwise, and you really needed sleep. I didn't expect you to drink it so fast, though."

"Oh." Remus rubbed his forehead. "I don't remember anything about after we sat down."

Peter chuckled dryly. "I remember all too well. You gave me a very detailed discourse on gay sex."

Remus flushed. "Oh no."

"Oh yes. Anal, oral, rimming- you talked about rimming for
quite a long time. But what you really seemed to like telling me was how much you enjoyed- and I quote- having Sirius's cock up your arse."

Remus turned bright red and buried his face in his arms.

"It was quite an education, let me tell you," Peter said.

"I'm so sorry. I don't usually-"

"I know. Although hearing the word 'fuck' come out of your mouth almost made it worth it, just for the shock value."

"Even when I'm drunk, I don't normally-"

"Well, you did." Peter stood up and began washing dishes by hand. "Are you feeling all right? Physically, I mean?"

"Just a massive headache, and the black out. I'm sorry. I really am. I can't believe I made you listen to that."

"Don't worry about it. Why don't you go check on Lily?"

Remus dragged himself to his feet. "All right. Thanks Peter. For everything last night. You're the best."

Peter simply smiled.

***

They lay in bed two nights later, Sirius wrapped around Remus like a clinging vine, and Remus nestled into the embrace. There were sweaty and tired, but the sex had been exactly what they both needed.

"I hope James and Lily are doing this, too," Sirius commented, tracing a finger down Remus's thigh.

"And Peter and Tina. If Peter can get it up after what I did to him." Just the memory of the morning after conversation brought a flush to Remus's face.

"What did you do?" Sirius asked, nuzzling Remus's neck.

"The other night, Peter slipped me some firewhiskey, and apparently I got completely pissed and gave him all the details of our sex life."

Sirius stilled. "Moony, I think Wormtail is pulling your leg."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, one, you
never talk about sex when you're drunk. In fact, if you're really drunk, you seem to have absolutely no interest in it."

"Really?"

"Really. And two, Prongs doesn't keep firewhiskey in the house. Remember how sick he got off it when we had his stag night? He can't drink it anymore, and Lily's never liked it."

Remus sagged in relief. "Oh, thank heavens. I really thought I'd told Peter all that."

"Did he repeat any details?"

"No, nothing that he didn't know already."

"He's definitely pulling your leg. You'll have to get him back."

Remus closed his eyes, smiling. Now that Sirius said it, it seemed so logical. Of course it was a Peter-style joke, probably to attempt to cheer Remus up. And he'd fallen, hook, line and sinker.

"I'll definitely have to get him back," he murmured, as Sirius's nuzzling took on a more exploratory nature. "But not right now."

"No. Not right now. Much more important things to do."

Remus smiled. "Exactly."



Author notes: For anyone who may be wondering where I stand on this... a certain ship that came up in HBP does not sink this one at all. And given that I'd only intended on going up to 1981 with an epilogue set during PoA-GoF timeframe, there's no reason to really adjust much. However, future parts of Accidentally In Love WILL take into account some things we learned in Half-Blood Prince!