Accidentally In Love

Part IV- Growing Up

The sun across his face woke Remus the next morning, but the hardness nudging at the small of his back was another welcome alarm. He pushed back against the warmth of Sirius's body, threading his fingers through the hand splayed across his belly. "You're awake early," he teased.

"Yeah, well." Sirius's other hand moved up to caress Remus's shoulder. "So are you."

"I'm guessing you're looking for another go?"

Sirius pressed closer, nuzzling Remus's neck. "Only if you're up for it."

Remus guided the captured hand lower. "What do you think?"

"I think I'm not letting you out of this bed today." Sirius's hands grew surer and more possessive, sending warm tendrils of sensation through him, and Remus surrendered eagerly.

Sirius had used lube and entered him slowly but it hurt again, and this time the pain didn't dissolve into intense pleasure like it had last night. He lay on his side, Sirius moving inside him, and while it wasn't shafts of burning fire, it still hurt. But Sirius was there, and the knowledge that he was fucking him and enjoying changed the experience. Pain didn't matter when Sirius's hot breath was in his hear and his hands were clutching his hips. Sirius came, his body pressed against Remus's back and gasping his name. Remus squeezed his eyes closed, losing himself in the connection of that moment; in Sirius's lips against his skin and his body relaxing into satisfied lassitude.

"Was it good for you, Moony?" Sirius eventually asked, his hands lazily traveling over Remus's body.

"Mmm."

The warmth behind him retreated, and Remus closed his eyes, hearing Sirius's swear before it was even uttered. " It wasn't. You're bleeding again," Sirius whispered.

"Am I?" It wasn't a shock this time. Remus felt oddly disconnected from the situation, like he was floating over the bed watching them instead of actually in it until Sirius's arms wrapped around him again, anchoring him to reality.

"Yeah." Sirius's lips were moving over Remus's neck which was still highly sensitized. "Is it bad?"

"Not really. Just- oh... do that again."

"There's something else I want to do," Sirius's murmured against his skin. "If you're up for it...."

"Keep talking like that and I'll be up for most anything." The memory of any pain was fading under warm, callused hands and hot, insistent lips.

"Good. Come on then." Sirius slipped out of the bed and led Remus to the shower.

"I've never been so clean in my life," Remus joked as they got in. "If this keeps up I may- hey!" Sirius spun Remus around so his back was against the wall, hot spray beating down against his side. "Sirius, what-"

"I know you," Sirius growled, and it was impossible to tell if his voice was rough with emotion or anger. "I know you better than anyone, and I know when you're hiding something. It hurt a lot more than you've let on."

"Sirius-" Remus's stomach twisted in fear and worry.

"You're going to understand how it's going to be between us, Remus."

Instinctively, Remus flinched back against the wall. The tiles were cold and hard beneath his shoulder blades, but he soon forgot that as Sirius moved down his body, mouth hot and open against him, and then took him in his mouth.

It was clumsy. Not like Alex, who'd known exactly what he was doing, but exactly like Sirius: hot, impulsive, and stopping at nothing, inexperience be damned. It was awkward and a little uncomfortable and absolutely incredible. It left him shaking against the wall, knees weak and his exhausted weight leaning against Sirius, who smiled up at him.

"Get the message?"

Remus reached down and brushed a wet lock of black hair back off Sirius's face. "Yeah." His legs were still shaking, and his throat was closed tight. "Pads...."

Sirius slid back up, pulling Remus tight against him. "So Moony. More than a one time thing?"

Remus took a deep breath and pushed a smile to the forefront of his chaotic emotions. "We've already done it twice."

Sirius laughed in his ear, low and intimate. "I'd say it's more than that as well. You think?"

"I think," Remus agreed, laying his head against Sirius's shoulder. "I definitely think."

***

Fingers. That had been the missing element, or one of them. Sirius sighed, turning the pages of the chapter he'd never thought to actually read in Remus's book. But really, could he be blamed for skipping the fundamentals? He'd thought that it was pretty self-explanatory... but maybe not.

Next to him Remus sighed and shifted in his sleep, his face flushed. Sirius reached out and ran his fingers lightly over his hair, smiling as Remus sighed again under his touch. Asleep, he looked young and peaceful; not at odds with the world. The worry and stress and apprehension were gone from his face, and he looked like he could fit into Sirius's life perfectly.

Sirius was beginning to wonder if he would.

Not like James and Lily, already plotting domesticity (even if James denied it), or even Peter and Tina. But something else, something private and not love but certainly not just fucking. It made his head hurt thinking about it, and so he turned back to the book.

"You found it?" Remus asked drowsily, opening his eyes.

"Yeah. I had a feeling you might bring it," Sirius answered, turning another page. "It's useful."

Remus just grinned, his smile a little too sly. Sirius sighed.

"It's still early, Moony. Go back to sleep if you want."

"I think I will." Remus turned on his side, facing Sirius. "Hey Padfoot?"

"Mmm?" Sirius's finger paused over a paragraph that looked like it was another one he shouldn't have skipped.

"What about James? And Peter?"

"They can sleep too."

"Funny." Remus pulled the blanket over his shoulder and nestled deeper into his pillow. "I mean, did you want to tell them?"

"Nah." Sirius shook his head. "They don't really need to know what we get up to on our own time, do they?"

He wasn't imagining the relief in Remus's eyes. "No. They don't."

***

Two days later they had to finally force themselves to leave Sirius's flat for longer than it took to get take-away, as the real world didn't stop just for sex. Sirius felt extremely important (even if he wouldn't admit it) as he drove his bike to the Ministry of Magic and stuck his identification badge to his robes. He got on the lift with a bored wizard who was reading The Daily Prophet and a witch sipping a mug of coffee, and swaggered off at level two heading to the Auror Headquarters. The rows of cubicles and the people moving through them looked exciting and promising.

"All right Black?"

Sirius turned around to see his fellow tester. "All right, Fenwick," he grinned back at the girl. She stood leaning against one of the cubicles, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, her curly hair pulled back in a ponytail and a denim jacket slung over one shoulder. Sirius decided he definitely liked her. "Have a good weekend?"

She smirked. "Smashing. Glad testing's over. Hadn't seen Frank in two weeks."

"Frank?"

"Longbottom." She lifted her hand to show off an engagement ring. "My other half."

"So it was a really good weekend, huh?" Sirius teased, wriggling his eyebrows.

"Orgasmic," Alice shot back. "What about you?"

"Oh, about the same," he answered with a sly grin.

"Not surprising. You look like you're something of a sex god."

"Fenwick. Black." Moody had appeared behind them. "Morning meeting." He jerked his head and Sirius and Alice obediently followed him into a large meeting room.

There was a large table in the center, and wizards and witches were sitting around it. An older witch with long grey hair sat perched on the table, talking animatedly to two men who were listening with intent expressions. A group sat clustered together in easy camaraderie, and Sirius heard snatches of Quidditch conversation. A rather handsome man waved and winked at Alice. Sirius leaned in. "Is that Frank?" he asked with surprise.

"Yeah. He just graduated training. They weren't too into the idea of both of us being Aurors, if you know what I mean, but times are getting really desperate."

Sirius was about to answer when Moody sat down at the table, along with Elphias Doge, the head of the Aurors. To Sirius's startled surprise, Damien Lupin sat with them. Doge flipped through his papers for a few moments and then called out, "All right, all right, let's come to order."

It wasn't the most impressive command, but the formerly talkative Aurors around the table settled down immediately.

"Right then," Elphias was saying. "We'll get right to it, because we've got a lot to do today. Crouch is coming in at ten o'clock for a briefing. I want Moody, Lupin, Prewett, Smith, Kinns, and Vines there." There were brief murmurs of assent. "That briefing will take until lunch, and you'll get your orders for the rest of the day there. We have a new stack of case files. Suspected Death Eaters, suspicious activity, that sort of thing. Nothing that raised an alarm, so it's the tedious stuff. Shacklebolt, Roan, Kesta, Longbottom, and O'Brien, you'll take those. I want reports from Longbottom on the situation at Elm Street, Maxwell on the Edwards case, and Prewett on the Macnair issues. Mulciber, McGraves, and Inglish, I have a list of names I want background checks on.

"We've got two new trainees," Elphias Doge gestured. "Sirius Black and Alice Fenwick, I'll leave it to you to figure out which one is which." There was some mild laughter at the joke, and Sirius wanted to fidget uncomfortably. "As you all know, we're understaffed and our workload is only getting heavier. We only had two qualified candidates apply this year and make it through the testing, so we're going to accelerate their training. Kinns, you'll be taking Fenwick under your wing," the witch with the long gray hair nodded, "and Lupin, you've got Black."

Sirius stiffened in his seat. Next to Moody, Damien leaned forward. "Sir, I don't think that's the best idea. There's a personal connection-"

"Not one sufficient to sustain your objection, Lupin. Black and Fenwick, you two will be helping Shacklebolt and his crew this morning, and Lupin and Kinns will find you after lunch. Any questions?"

"Any word on the activity in Knocturn Alley?" a wizard asked.

"Nothing that we've been told, no. Keep your ear to the ground on it though, I'd like to know more."

"There was an article in the Prophet this morning about You-Know-Who expanding his army?" a witch asked.

"Saw it. We've been told that's not our area."

"Ah."

"Any other questions? No? Good. Lupin, Kinns, I want to talk to you both, the rest of you get on with it."

"How do you know Lupin?" Alice asked Sirius as the others began gathering their things.

"He's my friend's father." Sirius found himself blushing, a very uncomfortable feeling. "Why do you think-"

"Fenwick, Black." A tall, black, very well-built wizard with bushy kinked hair and a long coat interrupted them. "I'm Kingsley Shacklebolt. Guess we've got you for the morning. Come on."

The morning's work wasn't quite what Sirius had expected of being an Auror. A lot of paperwork, a lot of case files. The files included background checks, records, transcripts, testimonials, locations, photographs... it felt a bit like spying. Intrusive. And frankly, boring.

"It's only boring if you look at it that way," Alice said when Sirius confided that in her. "It's actually more like a puzzle, spotting what other people have missed and drawing connections."

That did make it more interesting, especially as he realized over the morning that he could spot those details much more easily than Roan or O'Brien. But it still wasn't what he expected.

They were eating lunch when Damien approached them, accompanied by the gray-haired witch. "Alice? This is Christine Kinns," he said, introducing them.

"Nice to meet you, Alice," Kinns said, extending her hand. "Will you join me in my office?"

"Sure. See you later, Sex God," Alice said. The pair of them walked off, leaving Sirius and Lupin staring at each other awkwardly.

"Well." Damien broke the silence, sitting down across from Sirius. "Sex God?"

"She was joking, Mr. Lupin."

"Oh. Well. I guess, since you're now my coworker, you should call me Damien."

"All right." Being tongue-tied was a relatively new experience for Sirius.

"I understand you scored exceptionally well on your N.E.W.T.s," Damien continued awkwardly.

"Yeah, I did."

"Remus says you have a flat?"

"Yeah. It's in London."

"How's the bike?"

Sirius grinned, suddenly much more relaxed. "It's great! I was having some trouble getting it to start, but I pulled the fuel injectors and cleaned them and it seemed to work just great."

"Any problems with the fuel freezing at high altitudes?" Damien asked, leaning back.

"Some, especially when I cut the engine and just let the flying charms take her."

"You might want to look into Muggle fuel additives," Damien advised. "There's this one...."

The fuel might be freezing, but the ice was starting to crack.

***

"So anyway, your dad was telling me about this stuff I can get to put in the fuel," Sirius told Remus two nights later when they met for dinner at a Chinese restaurant. "And in the lube oil. It'll keep it from freezing. I asked about a warming charm, but he says the metal- Remus, are you all right?"

"Yes, Pads. I'm fine. Just very amused," Remus answered with a broad smile. "Do the two of you actually ever talk about Auror stuff, or just the bike?"

"We talk about Auror stuff. It's just kind of strange, y'know?"

"Because my father's never liked you?"

"And because it's kind of weird to be sleeping with your boss's son."

Remus grinned wickedly. "Are you, now?"

"Not right now, no," Sirius slurped a noodle from his lo mein. "But I'm guessing in an hour I will be."

"Sounds about right," Remus agreed.

"It's weird though, that you look so much like your dad."

"Actually, that's quite normal."

Sirius nudged Remus under the table. "That's not what I mean. It's just that every time I see your dad, I think about you. And you're not supposed to get a hard-on talking to your boss."

Remus snorted. "As long as you don't tell him that, I don't suppose he's looking. Not to change the subject too much, but are you still going to the Order meeting tomorrow night?"

"What do you think?"

"Okay, so it was a dumb question." Remus looked down and fiddled with his egg roll. "I guess my real question is is my dad coming too?"

"Not that I know of. He didn't mention it."

Remus made a face and began unrolling his egg roll.

"Hey, it's not that big a deal," Sirius said around a mouthful of food. "Dumbledore said not everyone fighting against Voldemort is gonna be in the Order, just some people. It doesn't mean anything."

"Right." Remus stopped tearing his egg roll to shreds. "You're right."

"Look at it this way. Most of the Aurors aren't in the Order, far as I've heard."

"Really?"

"Really. It'll be fine, Moony. Now stop playing with your food and finish. That hour will be up before you know it."

***

"Why a ceremony? That's all I'm saying," Peter said. "I felt kind of stupid. Like a kid in a secret society, or a brainwashing or something."

Sirius stared at Peter, aghast. "What? You think the whole thing is-"

"No!" Peter shot back. "I think the whole idea of fighting against Voldemort and protecting the Wizarding World is right! He's got to be stopped. It's just the whole swearing in and oath taking and all that. I mean, ask me to sign a magical contract, threaten me with death, fine! Just don't make me turn around three times and hop on one foot."

"It wasn't that bad," Sirius said. "Although I can kind of see your point. The ritualistic aspect was rather-"

"Hey, Sex God."

"Hey Temptress. I didn't know you'd be here. Peter, this is Alice Fenwick. Alice, Peter Pettigrew."

"You call him Sex God?" Peter asked. "Do you have any idea what that's going to do to his ego?"

Alice smiled. It was a sweet, genuinely innocent smile. "Hey, I just have to work with him." She nodded to where Elphias Doge was talking to Dumbledore. "Not a lot of Aurors here, are there?"

"Aren't there?" Peter asked, surprised.

"No. Doge himself, Frank, Gideon Prewett, Moody, and... I think that's it. You and me," Alice said with surprise. "I don't even know a lot of the others, except Benjy."

"Benjy?" Peter asked.

"My brother." Alice pointed to a man that had the same round, soft face that she did with dark, curly hair. "He's with the International Confederation of Wizards."

"Let's see," Peter said, leaning back and assessing the crowd. "I know James Potter, of course. He's a Chaser for the Wimbourne Wasps. Lily Evans, his girlfriend. She just started at St. Mugno's."

"That's Remus Lupin," Sirius added, pointing Remus out. "He's Damien's son. And that bloke he's talking to has got to be Caradoc Dearborn. He's a research wizard. Magical creatures."

"That guy must be Gideon's brother," Peter decided. "They look enough alike."

"Gideon mentioned that he had a brother in London. I guess he owns a pub or something," Alice mused.

"Right. I remember hearing him say that. Marlene McKinnon; she's a writer for the Daily Prophet, isn't she Pete?"

"Yeah. I'm surprised James's parents aren't here."

"I'm not." James had come up behind them, his arm around Lily. "Dad's not much into throwing hexes and the like. He's very convinced the quill is mightier than the sword."

"He may be right," Alice said. "Your father is Timothy Potter, right? The columnist?"

"Yeah."

"Alice," Lily cut in, "Doge wants to see us both. He said he had something about an assignment for us."

"Really? Okay." Alice stood up and James took her vacated seat. "See you later, Sex God."

"Tomorrow at work, Temptress," Sirius responded.

"You after Fenwick?" James asked as the girls left. "She doesn't really seem... I dunno."

"She's great," Sirius said enthusiastically. "She looks all sweet and innocent, but the girl's got a mouth on her. But no, I'm not after her. She's engaged to Longbottom. Didn't you see the rock?"

"Who's got a rock?" Remus asked as he plopped into the chair across from Sirius.

"Alice Fenwick."

"Oh. Yeah. Dad told me that they got some girl that was engaged to one of the Aurors. I-"

"Gentlemen. May I join you for a moment?"

"Of course, Professor Dumbledore," James said, standing up and offering the old man his chair. Dumbledore shook his head.

"I have a job for you boys that I think you may enjoy." The four of them looked at each other and straightened up attentively. "We have information that there is a possible Death Eater raid planned on a Muggle dance hall in downtown London tomorrow night."

"You aren't calling in the Aurors, sir?" James asked, glancing sideways at Sirius.

"We are. But both Barty Crouch and Elphias Doge feel that this is a diversion. We came by the information far too easily; it must have been planted."

"Why not just ignore it then, sir?" Peter asked.

"I might, Peter, but we have learned, much to our sorrow, that these threats are never truly idle. The attack that occurs at the diversion site will be minor in comparison to what it is meant to draw our attention from, but lives may well be lost."

"So you need us at the diversion site," Sirius concluded.

"I need young people that will blend in with the crowd that frequents this locale. Even better, young people that the Death Eaters won't recognize."

"Well then..." James said with a grin. "We're your men!"

"Excellent! I knew I could count on you. Here's the address and the location, please be there by seven o'clock tomorrow."

***

"A dance hall," Sirius muttered. "It's a Muggle club with music and strobe lights and beer, and Dumbledore calls it a dance hall."

"We should have brought the girls," James muttered.

"Tina's not in the Order," Peter reminded them. "And Lily's on shift at St. Mungo's." Peter stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "I've never been dancing before. Will it be really obvious if we're really bad at it?"

"I don't think we even need to dance," Remus said, just as uncomfortable as Peter. "I mean, four blokes dancing together? It's not that kind of club."

"Thankfully," James said.

"Are there even clubs like that around?" Peter asked. "Clubs for shirt lifters, I mean?"

"What do you think Wandwaver's is?" James pointed out.

"Look, can we just stay on topic?" Sirius demanded. "You-know-what's are supposed to be lurking about."

"Death Eaters?"

"Um, Peter, under cover, remember?"

"Oh, right."

They entered the club.

It was early yet, so there were free tables. The music wasn't turned up too loudly yet, and the air was still breathable. They found a table, and James managed to get them all bottles of beer to nurse. Remus's eyes were drawn to the snooker rooms in the back.

"We could split up a bit," he suggested. "Easier to keep an eye out. Anyone for a game of snooker?"

"Sounds good," Sirius instantly volunteered. "It'll be easier to hear back there, too."

"I play winner," James claimed.

"You nervous at all?" Remus asked Sirius as they walked back to the other room.

"What do you think?" Sirius's attitude was casual, but Remus wasn't fooled.

"I think you don't want to screw up on your first Order assignment, because you're dead set to impress the Aurors. You want to break?"

Sirius racked the balls. "You might be right. But I'm not nervous."

"Yeah. Me neither."

"Not even about the game?" Sirius asked as he broke, sending two of the reds scurrying into the holes.

"Maybe about the game. What are you doing later tonight?"

"Don't know." Sirius scratched the cue against his temple, leaving a blue streak. "Don't know what time everything's gonna go down, and then how long that will take and if we'll have to report afterwards...."

"Yeah." Remus stared down at the floor.

"But tomorrow's Saturday. I don't have to work Saturday. Or Sunday." Sirius's fingers were on Remus's chin, tilting his face up to look at him. "And that means if I can't walk fast tomorrow or the day after, no big deal."

Remus shivered as the words ran down him as tangibly as if they were Sirius's fingers. "Any why might you not be able to walk?"

"We'll see if you made as big a hash out of it as I did." The smile on Sirius's lips didn't quite reach his eyes.

"You didn't make a hash of it," Remus said softly. He was about to say more when a loud crack made him jump.

Sirius glanced around and laughed. "Just the blokes at the next table breaking," he said, lining his next shot up.

"Guess I am nervous," Remus admitted.

"And so you should be. Tell James he's playing me." Sirius shot the last ball in.

Remus stuck his tongue out and retreated. As the four of them switched positions through several rounds of snooker, the club began to fill up, with loud music, Muggles and smoke.

He was sitting with Peter when he noticed the three young men sitting across the dance floor. They were scanning the crowded room with a look that Remus didn't like. He couldn't say exactly what bothered him about it; most people might assume they were looking for girls, but there was something darker there, something more violent and raw and condescending. Remus shivered and turned back to his drink.

It happened right as Sirius and Peter were making their way back from the now-crowded snooker room. A flash of red light, the thump of a body hitting the floor, and screams of panic. The doors slammed shut of their own accord, and people rushed to them, desperate to escape while others were frozen in their seats. Remus's eyes darted back to the trio of men he'd noticed before, and sure enough they were gone.

"Lumos maxima!" James's voice rang clear over the din of the crowd, and the club was lit clear as day, showing the shabbiness of the room and making colors seem stark and bleak. There were robed, masked figures were in the crowd. Remus swallowed hard. He'd never seen them before, and he had to admit their garb was intimidating.

"Death Eaters," Peter whispered.

"Seven of them," Remus counted.

"Against four of us. Hardly seems fair," James said.

"Yeah. Reckon we should give them a head start?" Sirius asked.

Remus rolled his eyes. "You two need to stay out of the Muggle cinem- Incoming!" He jumped aside as the bolt of blue light sizzled by him, dissolving the table behind him.

"Nasty," James commented. "And so it begins."

And begin it did, in a flash of colored lights and hexes and jinxes. Most of the Muggles had the sense to move out of the way, hiding under tables or pressed against the walls. But the four of them were not the focus of the attack- the Muggles were- and there was no guarantee for safety. Screams of anguish sprung out like leaks in a boat as the Death Eaters focused on their real targets.

As he fired a (deflected) arrow from his wand at one of the Death Eaters, Remus wondered why they weren't killing their prey. As he dodged a stunner and sent a finite incantatem at Peter, who'd been hit by a tarantallenga hex, he suspected that the Death Eaters present were young, and didn't have the power for an Avada Kedavra yet. At least that was a little luck, although Remus wouldn't bet his life on it.

"Remus! Duck!" James shouted from the floor. Remus dove under the table and fired a transfiguration spell. The approaching Death Eater, now much smaller, quacked.

"Well, not quite what I had in mind," James said with a chuckle, "but effective."

Remus grinned at him and tried to catch his breath. His attempt didn't last long. "Sirius," he gasped, pointing. James followed him to see Sirius unhexing Muggles and battling with a Death Eater. He was holding his own, but two more Death Eaters were closing in.

"Let's go," James ordered, and they burst out from under the table.

An Expelliarmus disarmed one Death Eater, and a Muggle with a bright presence of mind had the sense to snatch up the wand and break it over one knee. James held back and ropes shot from his wand to bind the Death Eater, and Remus sprinted beside Sirius, who turned to grin at him. Sirius's face was soot-smudged and sweaty, but Remus had to admit that he looked like he was having the time of his life.

"Well, that's two down," James gasped as he joined them on the other side of Sirius. "Shall we start taking them seriously?"

"I think so. I have plans for tonight," Sirius said, shooting a roguish smirk at Remus and a stunner directly at a Death Eater. "That's three."

"Petrificus totalus!" James shouted. "Four! Man, I can't believe that worked. That's first year stuff!"

A Death Eater sent a blaze between Remus and Sirius, and both of them cried out as the flames singed their arms. From behind them a jet of water doused them; far too much but welcome just the same.

"I was wondering where Wormtail was," Sirius muttered.

"Padfoot! Moony! I've got it!" James shouted suddenly. "What makes you think she's a witch?"

Transfiguration spells shot out of wands. "She turned me into a newt!" Sirius and Remus chorused, as the two Death Eaters shrunk in a flash of light.

"A newt?" James demanded.

"I got better," Peter said from behind them.

"Quack," the Death Eater-duck in his arms agreed.

***

"Honestly. You and James are not Muggle action movie stars," Remus laughed later that night as he gently smoothed healing salve over the burn on Sirius's upper arm.

"But you've got to admit the Monty Python bit was brilliant," Sirius argued. "It could be our trademark."

Remus smiled. "Yeah. It could. What else floats in water?"

"Bread!"

"Apples!"

"Very small rocks!"

"Cider!"

"Gravy!"

"Churches!"

Sirius straightened impressively. "A duck."

"Exactly. So logically..."

"If a wizard weighs the same as a duck, he must be a Death Eater!" Sirius crowed.

They both dissolved into fits of rather hysterical laughter.

"That was absolutely brilliant," Sirius reiterated, sighing happily as Remus recovered enough to wind the bandage around his bicep.

"I don't know that brilliant is the word I'd use, but..." Remus concentrated on his task.

"C'mon, Moony. You turned a Death Eater into a duck. Wasn't it worth it?"

Remus's head snapped up. "Worth it, yes. No question. But terrifying at the same time."

"I wasn't scared," Sirius boasted.

"I was. And Peter threw up after, he was so afraid."

"He wasn't much help."

"He'll get better," Remus said, although his words lacked any conviction. He lowered his gaze and focused on the burns on Sirius's forearm. "They got you pretty good," he said softly.

Sirius's free hand cupped Remus's cheek, and he shivered under the touch, still unused to the new casual physical intimacy between them. Each caress was still somewhat unexpected; Remus had never realized how deeply he'd held his belief he would never have a lover... or that he would never want one.

"I'm fine, Moony," Sirius said, and reassurance- not about the wound- washed over Remus. "Come on. Finish me up. The night is still young."

"Actually, it's two thirty in the morning," Remus said lightly, winding a bandage around Sirius's forearm.

"Do you really think you can sleep yet?" Sirius asked skeptically.

Remus chuckled. "Guess not."

"Well then," Sirius's voice dropped down into a husky murmur, and he leaned forward to brush his lips over Remus's neck. Already he'd learned the exact spot that turned Remus to a trembling, incoherent mess, and already Remus had learned that Sirius had no guilt about exploiting that. Not that he minded.

It was funny, he thought even as his body responded eagerly to Sirius's caresses, that he should be so nervous. The first night he was hardly nervous at all, and the whiskey had dulled the worst of the edges. Tonight he was shaking, content for Sirius to lead and a little reluctant to follow.

He wasn't afraid of losing Sirius. His hands slid over the injured arm with no feeling except caution not to cause more pain. And he wasn't afraid of hurting Sirius physically. Even when Sirius's face twisted in discomfort from the intrusion of his fingers he didn't feel too much guilt. But for a moment, when he was inside Sirius for the first time and before the absolute pleasure of Sirius under and around him overtook him and didn't let him think, he knew something was completed. A circle, a cycle, Sirius, him... something. And that cold fear shafted through him again, but before it could seize him completely Sirius's heat penetrated into his consciousness and he was back in the here and now. There was only the skin of Sirius's back against his chest and the sound of Sirius's breathing in his ears. Sirius's black hair tangled against his cheek, Sirius's mattress under his knees and... and... and a white-hot flame gripped him, and he was shuddering against Sirius, all thought wiped from his mind.

***

Hours later, Sirius still couldn't sleep.

The salves Remus had spread on his arm had worn off, and he was sore in other ways, too. But every time he closed his eyes, he saw one of two things: the flashes of light as they'd won the battle in the club, or Remus's face as he'd pulled away after sex. Both made him want to spring out of bed, ready for action and completely alert. Completely alive.

He slipped out of bed, kissing Remus on the forehead as he left. Remus stirred in his sleep but didn't wake up, and for one brief moment Sirius felt guilty. The full moon was in three days, and he knew Remus needed rest. But Remus hadn't protested.

He pulled a warm dressing gown on and closed the bedroom door behind him. In the light of the pre-dawn, his flat looked eerie and unfamiliar.

He poked the fire, stirring it up from the embers, and although he should have been shocked, he wasn't even surprised when it began to glow green, and James suddenly appeared, spinning.

"You do realize, Prongs, that it is five o'bloody clock in the morning," Sirius greeted his friend with a grin.

"And yet you're still up. Padfoot, pull your robe closed a little better, will you? There are some things a man doesn't need to see." James clambered out of the fireplace.

"I'll make you a deal. You go into the kitchen and make us hot chocolate, and I'll go put on some proper clothes."

"Deal. Hurry up though. I need to talk to you."

Sirius ducked back into the bedroom and changed, closing the door carefully. The last thing he needed was for James to catch them right now. "So what's going on?" he asked when he rejoined James in the kitchen, dressed in the jeans and t-shirt he'd worn to the Muggle club.

James handed him his cup and sat down at the table. "I've been thinking," he began. "I've been thinking a lot. See, I don't think I've told you this, but my grandparents left me a pretty big inheritance when they died."

"You mentioned it once, fifth year," Sirius said, sitting down at the table. "So?"

"Well, I know being a Chaser on a minor league team doesn't pay that much, but with the money they left me I could get a place."

"Yeah, you could," Sirius agreed enthusiastically.

"And I was thinking..." James fiddled with the cup.

"Yeah?"

"Listen, tonight. It could have gone wrong, you know?"

"It didn't."

"I know. But I saw that Death Eater shoot flame at you and Moony, and I heard the both of you scream, and I knew you guys got hit."

"We're fine," Sirius said, displaying his arm. "All patched up and everything already. Still hurts like a bloody bugger, but-"

"That's not the point," James insisted, his eyes serious behind his glasses. "For just a moment, I was scared. I didn't know what had happened, and I thought they could have gotten you."

"They didn't," Sirius argued with a shrug.

"That's not the point, Padfoot," James reiterated. "The point is that life is short, and we don't know what's going to happen next."

"So you came over here at five in the morning for a philosophy session?" Sirius asked, brow furrowed.

"I came over here at five in the morning to tell you I want to ask Lily to marry me."

The bottom fell out of Sirius's stomach, and he stared at James with an open mouth.

"I know it seems kind of sudden..." James continued lamely, not looking at Sirius.

"Kind of sudden? You've only been together for a year!"

"My parents married after knowing each other three months."

"But you're eighteen!"

"I'm an adult."

"You've never dated anyone else!" Sirius felt like his eyes were going to pop out of his skull.

James raised an eyebrow at him. "And you've never dated anyone, Padfoot. In fact, as far as I know you've never even fancied anyone. So who are you to be telling me what I should and shouldn't do in my love life?"

Sirius opened his mouth to point out that he had Remus asleep in his bed, then decided that this would likely be a mistake. "Fair point," he admitted grudgingly. "Is she pregnant?"

"Sirius!"

"Okay, okay! It's just..." Sirius dropped his head into his hands, tugging at his hair with his fingers. "It's just a surprise," he finished quietly.

"I told you we were talking about it," James said.

"I know. I'm just..." Sirius shook his head. "When are you going to ask her?"

"I don't know. I need to get the ring first. I was hoping you'd go with me."

"Yeah. Sure. Of course."

"Thanks." James stretched. "I guess I should go home soon. Get some sleep."

"Same here." Sirius faked a yawn. "You gonna be around for full moon?"

"Better believe it. Moony still up for the Shack?"

"He was pretty insistent, especially since it was there or the shed at his parents'."

James shuddered. "Okay then. I'll Floo tomorrow about the... y'know?"

"The ring?"

"Yeah. And Sirius? Can you not tell Remus and Peter? I want to tell them myself."

"'Course, mate," Sirius said, relieved that finally there was something he could agree to with no hesitation whatsoever. "Have a good night. See you Tuesday?"

"Tuesday," James agreed, and then stepped into the fireplace and disappeared.

All of the energy had drained from Sirius, and he crept back into the bedroom and shucked off his clothes. He couldn't say exactly why it bothered him- hell, he shouldn't even say it did bother him- except the disorienting, disturbing feeling that everything was changing.

He shook it off and slid back into the bed, wrapping an arm around Remus's waist and spooning against his back. Remus didn't wake up, but he shifted back against Sirius, fitting neatly along the curve of his body. Sirius kissed his shoulder and closed his eyes, lulled to sleep by Remus's warmth and his slow, steady breathing.

***

"A duck," Remus repeated for the seventh time that morning as he dropped a load of boxes next to the moke's tank. "I mean, why a duck? Does the mind always work in such strange ways when you're under pressure?"

"Depends on the person," Caradoc answered idly, taking rapid notes in handwriting that almost qualified as code. The only reason Remus could read it was because he'd had years of practice deciphering his own. "I completely lose my sense of humor when I'm nervous," Caradoc continued.

"Really?" Remus unsealed one of the boxes with a wave of his wand and began sorting through the contents.

"Really," Caradoc said shortly. "Will you be here for the whole day?"

"For the morning. I can be here in the afternoon if you want, but I likely won't be of much use."

"No, no. That's all right. I want you home well before moonrise." The words sounded solicitous, but Remus wasn't imagining the tremor of fear in Caradoc's voice. "Should I expect you in... what should I expect the days after?"

"I won't be in tomorrow," he said evenly. "I should be in on Thursday, although I never know for sure."

"That's half the week!" Caradoc protested.

"I know, sir. I'm sorry."

"No, no. Dumbledore did tell me. It's just we're at such a crucial time in the research, and... and you know."

Remus bit his lip to keep from reminding Caradoc that he hadn't done much more than feed the creatures and take notes from old texts and new journals. "I'll be fine again on Friday," he insisted.

"Well, we work with what we have," Caradoc mused, laying his quill down and studying Remus a little more intently. "Do you feel badly today?"

"A bit," Remus admitted, focusing his attention on unpacking the boxes. The food for the grindylows went in the cabinet under their tank. The dietary supplement potions for the ashwinder went in the drawers....

"What's it like?" Caradoc asked.

The new syringes replenished their dwindling supply. "We're getting low on weigh boats," Remus observed. "What's what like?"

"Well, when you look at me do you want to...?"

Remus sighed heavily and closed the drawer. "No. I have no desire to tear your throat out or drink your blood. If you want the truth, I feel queasy and tired, and all I really want to do is boot and then take a nap."

"Like a flu then," Caradoc said.

"Like a flu that never goes away, yes," Remus replied grumpily. "Where do you want these books?"

"On the shelf over there. Is that what it feels like after?"

"Sometimes. But usually worse."

"How so?"

Remus labeled and shelved five books before answering. "It hurts," was all he said.

"I don't suppose we could work it out so that I could observe the transformation, could we?"

"No. Not easily," Remus lied.

Caradoc sighed wistfully. "Oh well. I so should have liked to have seen it, but.... Are you done then? Good. Give the lobalug his injection, will you please?"

"Yeah." Remus found the syringe and potion, and then stood up on a stool to allow himself better access into the tank. The lobalug darted away from his hands, heading towards a bank of sea grass. "Caradoc? What exactly happened Friday night? I mean, what was the diversion for?"

"We had information that Death Eaters were going to break into the Ministry. There's suspicion that they're using the Imperius curse to gather information."

"Why would they break into the Ministry on a Friday night?" Remus wondered. "Who would be there?"

"The Department of International Cooperation had a late meeting. It's alarming that the Death eaters even knew about it."

Remus gently parted the sea grass that was sheltering the lobalug. "Any casualties?"

"Not on our side, although Shiverhag, Doge, and Prewett all required trips to St. Mungo's. We did capture two."

"Who?"

"Augustus Rookwood and Alvin Macnair."

Remus froze. "Alvin Macnair?"

"Yes. Do you know him?"

"He works at the Registry." Remus was still in shock, although he wasn't quite sure why.

"Oh. Of course. Well, there's not much evidence to hold him, I'm afraid, so in that sense the entire escapade was a wash, but-"

"ARGH! FUCK!"

"Remus?"

The room began to spin, and Remus slumped against the tank, his arm still in the cold water. "Remus!" From across a great distance he heard Caradoc's voice, felt a sharp pinprick in his arm and the cold of the floor beneath him as Caradoc guided him down. A warm healing sensation that Remus knew well spread over his hand, up his arm, tingling through his nerves. The world slowly came back into focus, and he saw Caradoc leaning over him.

"What happened?"

"Poky bit you, I'm afraid. We'll need to get you to St. Mungo's."

Remus sat up, woozy but not much worse than he'd been before putting his hand in the tank. "Is it that bad?"

"Well, no," Caradoc admitted. "Poky's bitten me... eight times now, I believe. The antidote is extremely effective, and I think I've got the wound healed just fine, but it's always best to have the professionals examine it. Up you go now, lad." Caradoc helped Remus to his feet. "You're a little shaky, aren't you? We'll take the bus."

Remus was wobbly on his feet and nauseous, but he was able to stumble out to the street. The erratic motions of the Knight Bus only made things worse. From the time they lurched out of the lab to the moment they walked through the door of St. Mungo's, the whole of Remus's effort was focused on not throwing up.

"We'll sneak past the front desk," Caradoc said as they walked through the lobby. "I know exactly where I'm going." Remus followed Caradoc into the lift, but when the bell dinged to let them off, he froze.

The Dai Llewellyn Ward.

"Remus? Remus, are you coming?"

He remembered that painting. Oh yes, he remembered the painting facing him so clearly. He'd been in his father's arms, and he remembered pain, and he remembered the gray-haired witch leaning against the frame and shushing him gently. He remembered he'd been crying.

Like the pieces of an old disjointed puzzle fragments of memory fell into place. Flowered curtains. He remembered them. He remembered the healer drawing them, and the way they'd flared out with his haste. The smell of medicine: different from Madame Pomfrey's domain in Hogwarts. He'd never forget that smell. In his ears he could hear his father's voice, ragged and pleading with the healer on duty, although he couldn't hear the words. Just that tone.

A hand on his shoulder propelled him forward, and Remus found himself facing a tall black-haired witch in her thirties who reminded him absurdly of Professor McGonagall, except that when she smiled it filled her whole face instead of being a tight, stern affair.

"Caradoc!" she said. "It's been a month! We were beginning to wonder what happened to you!"

"Darling Elouise!" Caradoc declared, bending over her hand. "Will that husband of yours let me run away with you yet?"

"I don't think so," Elouise said. "Not before the kids are grown, at any rate. Our elicit love affair will simply have to wait."

"You're breaking my heart. Elouise, this is my new assistant, Remus Lupin. I'm afraid Poky bit him."

"Hello, Remus. Nice to meet you. I assume you gave him the antidote, Caradoc?"

"Oh yes. Of course."

"Well, then. This will be easy. I expect we'll be seeing quite a bit of you, Remus, if you stay with this nutter."

Remus, still weak and more than a little overwhelmed, nodded.

"Since we're slow today and this is straightforward, do you mind if I have my new trainee take a look at you? I assure you, I'll be here to make sure that she does everything correctly."

"Not at all," Remus murmured politely.

"I'll be right back." Elouise disappeared momentarily and reappeared with Lily Evans. Remus smiled, suddenly feeling much more at ease.

"Lily, this is Caradoc Dearborn. You'll be seeing him quite often." Lily nodded to the older wizard politely. "And this is his new assistant, Remus Lupin. I expect you'll be seeing him as well. Gentlemen, this is Lily Evans."

"Very nice to meet you," Caradoc said.

"Look at you," Remus replied, grinning. Lily had her long red hair tamed back neatly in a ponytail, and was wearing the same green robes most of the hospital staff wore.

"I think the idea is for me to look at you," Lily laughed. "Should I start?"

"Yes," Elouise said. "What's the first thing you do?"

"The first thing I do is check for any known allergies or medical conditions that the patient may have." Lily put her wand to Remus's temple. "Revelo." She checked his neck for runes. "I don't see any."

"What did you forget to do first?"

"Oh. Yes. But I have his name, and I know him. He's not a vampire or anything."

"Lily, please check anyway."

Lily rolled her eyes at Remus and grinned. Through the haze of his mind something sharp told Remus his world was about to shift again, but for the life of him he couldn't place exactly why or how. "No mark on this side of his neck," Lily said. "He's not a vampire. No mark on the right forearm, so there's no giant blood. And no number..." she rolled up his left sleeve, and that's when the pieces all clicked into place, because there was a number there and Remus had remembered it too late. He snatched his arm away and slumped in his seat, staring at the floor. Lily stood still, her eyes protruding out of her head.

"Werewolf?" Elouise asked Caradoc.

"Yes."

Remus lurched out of his seat and staggered to the nearest trash can, where he vomited profusely. Caradoc moved over to support him, rubbing his back between the shoulder blades. When he finished, Caradoc helped him back into a seat.

Elouise turned to Remus, who was now huddled in on himself. "How long?"

He couldn't answer, and was vaguely aware of Caradoc answering for him and Elouise getting a glass of water. The world had closed in to a dull roar in his ears and behind his eyes, and the intense humiliation of Lily knowing. She knew. The words repeated over and over in his mind, like a mantra. She knows she knows she knows....

"Remus. Remus, you need to come this way." The voice that finally penetrated the fog was Caradoc's. "Remus?"

Caradoc was helping him stand. Remus was aware that the other set of hands belonged to Elouise, not Lily. Lily knew, and now she was going to hate him. Him and James... how could he face James tonight?

Elouise was poking and examining him, handing him a potion to drink and murmuring some sort of reassurances. When he finally managed to look up, he realized Lily wasn't in the room. Elouise gave him a potion to drink, prodded once more at the wound Caradoc had healed, and pronounced him fit to be on his way.

"Tell them to send the bill to me, Elouise," Caradoc said as he guided Remus out of the ward. The gray haired witch in the painting was watching Remus again, and he wanted to shout at her and wipe the sympathy from her eyes. "Work related accident. I'll use the funding money to pay for it."

"All right. Remus, if it acts up, especially after tonight, please don't feel hesitant to return."

"Yes ma'am."

They left, and when Remus looked around one last time Lily was no where to be seen. They stepped out into the street and Caradoc flagged down the Knight Bus.

"Was that your girlfriend?" he asked, once they were settled in plush armchairs.

"No. My best friend's girlfriend," Remus answered. "I guess he never told her."

Caradoc pushed his glasses up his nose. "How many of your friends know?"

"Now? All four of them."

***

Sirius knew something was wrong by the way Remus was pacing. He hadn't seen Remus this agitated and angry before the full moon since he was with Alex. But Remus wasn't talking.

"Where's Prongs?" Sirius asked Peter quietly.

"I don't know. I got an owl from him saying he'd be late, but he didn't say why. His handwriting was really sharp and messy though. I'll bet he's fighting with Lily."

"Why would he be fighting with Lily?" Sirius asked, mystified and chilled at the same time. He almost told Peter that James was ready to propose, but loyalty and a last minute infusion of good sense said that was not a good idea.

"You know girls," Peter was saying. "Where's this relationship going? What are you thinking? Do you love me? Any of those three questions are like Muggle land mines. Or dungbombs."

"Trouble with Tina?"

"Getting a few of them, yeah." Peter rolled his eyes. "Trouble is I'm not ready to answer them. Not the way she wants, anyway."

"Not with a shiny pretty diamond ring?"

"Exactly." Peter glanced at Remus, who was now standing at the window and lost in thought, and lowered his voice. "I mean, I have to help Mum, at least until Penny and Patricia are out of school. How can I afford to go getting a ring, much less support Tina and kids? She wants kids."

"Ugh."

"I don't know. But keeping her at bay is- whoops. We'd better change."

Sirius shot one last look at Remus, who was hunched over and gripping the windowsill. "Yeah."

They didn't leave the Shack that night. James still hadn't shown up at midnight, and Sirius didn't think he could keep Remus in check alone. Another night, perhaps, but with whatever was bothering him tonight, no. Remus was vicious, beyond what Sirius had seen in years. Sirius had the very sick feeling Remus would be a mess in the morning.

Finally, two hours before dawn, a stag entered the Shack, nudging the door open with his antlers. Even in animal form, James looked tired and infinitely sad. The wolf lunged at him as soon as he entered, and Sirius had to intervene, fear for James sharp within him. He wondered if their presence wasn't working this time, but there was some semblance of sanity in Remus's eyes. The night dragged on, stained with blood and anger.

Moonset left Remus collapsed on the floor, a deep wound on his side and more gashes than Sirius liked to see decorating the rest of his body. "Lily's not on until night shift tonight," James commented as he used his wand to guide Remus into bed. "I'll send her over to fix him up. You should get going, Sirius."

"I can stay," Sirius insisted weakly.

"Not without getting in a lot of trouble. Besides, I really need to talk to Remus alone." James's tone was dark.

"Something wrong?"

James sighed and leaned closer. "Lily found out about Remus," he whispered.

"What? How?"

"I'll tell you later." James inclined his head towards where Peter was sitting with Remus, healing some of the more manageable wounds. "If Moony wants to tell you Wormtail what happened, fine, but I don't want him to wake up and hear me blabbing."

"Okay." Sirius pulled away. "Oi! Wormtail! Prongs said he'd finish and stay with Moony. Those of us with real jobs need to get to work!"

"Are you sure, James?" Peter asked. "I can go in late."

"Nah. I've got it," James said easily. "You two go."

With a worried look back at Remus lying in bed, Sirius obeyed.

***

"Remus."

Remus opened his eyes, trying to get the world to stop spinning. It wasn't the best idea he'd ever had, and he clamped them shut immediately.

"Remus, I know you're awake."

James. Opening his eyes was definitely no longer an option.

"Lily told me what happened."

Panic. It ripped through him, dark and bitter and deep.

Dark creature.

Monster.

A pair of black eyes, fearful and hating and angry, so angry.

It.

Beast.

"You don't deserve to live, and I am certain the Committee for the Disposal-"

"This creature can not be granted-"

Screams and shouts, and the sharp pain of rocks striking flesh-

"Stop!"

Pain tore through his body as he struggled to his feet, blindly flailing out at James. "I'm leaving," he said, his voice ragged with agony. "I'm going home."

"Remus, wait. Let me help you." James reached out and tried to right him, but Remus flung his hands off and grabbed his robe, wrapping it around his body.

"No. I'm going. I'm going now. I understand, James. You don't need to say it." He disapperated before James could say a word.

He arrived at his flat and collapsed on the floor, unable to even pull himself into bed.

***

"So I hear your first adventure went well," Alice said as she and Sirius sat on the front steps of the Ministry building eating their lunch.

"Yeah, it did," Sirius said with a grin. "Don't know how long they'll be able to keep the guys we caught, but-"

"I heard it took the guys in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement an hour to undo your transfiguration spell."

"Well, they were N.E.W.T. level!" Sirius countered.

Alice groaned.

"So what was the mission Doge had for you and Lily?"

"A research sort of thing. He had a letter that had been intercepted. Only thing was, it had a really strong confundus charm on it, and an encryption charm. It took Lily and me three hours to break the thing."

"Anything good in the letter?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"Not much that I could make sense of, but Dumbledore and Crouch seemed pleased."

Sirius sighed.

Alice finished her sandwich and brushed the crumbs off her hands. "Look, there's something I really wanted to talk to you about without the whole of the Ministry hearing," she said uncertainly.

"Yeah? What's that?"

"Lupin."

Sirius leaned back on the steps and watched the Muggles walking by. "What about him?"

Alice fumbled in her pocket. "Gum?" she asked, holding out a packet of Drooble's. Sirius shook his head, and she took her piece and unwrapped it slowly. "Look," she said finally. "You know he was just promoted back up, right? That he demoted years ago?"

"About thirteen years ago, yeah. What are you trying to tell me, Fenwick?"

"Do you know why?"

"Do you?"

"I asked you first."

"And I'm not answering until you do."

Alice bit down fiercely on her gum. "His kid's a werewolf."

"And why do you think I should know this?" Sirius asked, still watching the people walk by.

"Because he's just been promoted back up, and you're his shadow," Alice answered smoothly.

"And?"

"I heard you and Remus are really tight. If the Aurors come crushing down on restrictions or anything... you know we're not supposed to associate with Dark Creatures."

Sirius snorted. "Screw that. If they want me as an Auror, they'd better get used to the fact I associate with a werewolf. He's one of my best friends, he's in the Order, and he'll probably be living with me in a few months. If they don't like it, fuck them."

Alice rested her chin in her hand, chewing contemplatively. "He must really be something else," she said, "to make it that worth it."

"Keep a secret?" Sirius said impulsively.

"Sure."

"He's not just my friend."

Alice stared at him. "What?"

"We're... well, I don't know what you call it, but we're sleeping together."

Her eyes widened in surprise and she stopped chewing, and for a heart-freezing moment Sirius wondered if he'd made a major mistake. Then Alice began to laugh.

"Here I am, thinking you have a parade of women through your flat...."

"And all there's been has been one skinny male werewolf," Sirius finished for her.

"Yeah. And- wait. One? Remus is it?"

Sirius squirmed. "You know, most people would be bothered out that I'm gay, not that I've only had one lover."

"One. Just Remus. You. Sex God."

"Hey! That was your assessment, not mine!"

Alice laughed, long and low. "Well, consider me shocked."

"Listen, do me a favor? Don't tell anyone."

"I won't, but you don't strike me as the type that cares what other people think."

"I don't," he said simply. "But if Lup- Damien finds out, he'll kill Remus."

"Protecting the fair lady's name then?"

"Don't make me hex you, Fenwick," Sirius growled.

"Like you could," Alice retorted.

"That's it. Right here. Right now. Let's go." Sirius jumped to his feet, brandishing his wand. "You and me."

"You're on, Black." Alice jumped to her feet. "From ten paces?"

"From ten paces," he agreed. They began counting off.

"All right. One, two, three!"

"The problem- and the advantage- of dueling in front of the Ministry of Magic is that someone is sure to happen by and catch you. Probably someone important," Elphias Doge lectured them later. "If Alastor and Jim hadn't come back from lunch right then, Black would still be clucking like a chicken and Fenwick would still be God Save the Queen at random passerbys. Do I really need to emphasize that this is not the image that the Ministry is trying to cultivate?"

"No, sir."

"No."

"Good. Well, we'll see what we can find to entertain the pair of you for the afternoon. If you have enough time to be having duels in the middle of the street, we obviously aren't working you hard enough." Elphias stood and clapped his hands together. "Let's go."

***

Warm, gentle hands and the smell of chicken soup woke Remus from an uneasy sleep. The hands moved over his injured side, soothing and tender. Early autumn sunshine streamed in the window, warming his face and seeping past his closed eyelids.

"Sirius?" he murmured softly.

"Not quite," a female voice said, and Remus opened his eyes to see the sunlight streaking through Lily Evans' red hair. He flinched away. "Stay still," Lily ordered.

"What are you doing here?" Remus demanded.

"You really made a mess of yourself, Remus. Now hold still."

He ignored her and squirmed away, his body screaming in protest. "I don't want you here."

"Tough. You ran away before I could talk to you. James tried, and you ran away from him too. I'm here because we need to talk about this." The panic began to recede, replaced by the dull edge of anger mingled with shame.

"Talk about this?" he asked defensively. "So you're ready to talk now?"

"I was ready to talk yesterday, but you ran away!"

"Forgive me for not waiting and leaving before they kept me there for the moonrise," Remus snapped. "Have you seen the transformation containment rooms in the basement of St. Mungo's?" Lily shook her head. "Go down and look at them sometime. They're cages, Lily, barely big enough that you can turn around in them but still enough room to sufficiently maim yourself. And the bars are spell-shocked so you can't get out and have a feeding fest in the hospital. Which I understand. But if there's any other option, I'm not staying there on a full moon night.

"And for that matter, what is there to talk about? All the talking in the world isn't going to change anything. I'll still be what I am. I'll still be a werewolf!" Remus's voice was tight with anger, but controlled.

"Talking WILL change something, because right now you obviously think I'm upset!"

"You were!" Remus insisted. "I saw your face yesterday!"

"Well, forgive ME for being shocked!" Lily grabbed his shoulders and tried to force him back into his bed. "We've known each other since we were eleven and you've never once given me a hint. Now lay back down before I stun you."

He obeyed more out of exhaustion than any particular fear of her threat, and the iron cot squealed in protest as she settled next to him. "Why should I have given you any hints?" he asked sulkily. "I didn't want anyone to know."

"I'm not saying you should have," Lily agreed, taking the wind out of his opposition. 'But I get to be shocked when I do find out, okay? I honestly wasn't expecting it, Remus."

"You never wondered why James was so insistent about full moon nights? You never wondered why I was out sick all the time? You never wondered-"

"No offense, but apart from the one month that I fancied you fifth year, I never really paid that much attention."

"You fancied me?" he asked incredulously, finally relaxing back into his pillow.

"Well, I fancied all four of you at some point. Sirius third year, you and Peter fifth year, and James sixth year, although I didn't want to admit to that one. Most of the girls in Gryffindor fancied you lot at one point." Lily's voice was soothing and her hands were moving over his side again. Remus peeped down and then wished he hadn't. She was right- it was bad. "But we never speculated that you were a werewolf," Lily continued. "Turn over and hold still. This is going to sting." She poured a disinfecting potion on his side, and instinctively he curled around her.

"Wench," he growled through clenched teeth. "That hurts. Sirius, James, and Peter never do that."

"They should. Bet Madame Pomfrey did."

"Wouldn't know. I was usually still out when she got there."

"Well next month I'll get here earlier." Lily rubbed a salve over the wounds.

"Like hell you will."

"Like hell I won't. I'll make sure I'm on night shift again."

"Lily-"

"Remus, I know James, Peter, and Sirius stay with you at night." He looked down, unable to meet her eyes. "James told me everything last night. He told me they've known since second year."

"Yeah."

"And he told me- showed me- what they did for you."

"Yeah." His voice broke on the word.

"Will you tell me about it?" she asked gently.

"James told you," he answered weakly, his throat clogged.

Lily leaned in, kissing Remus on the forehead softly. "Tell me anyway," she begged.

And he did.

***

The sun was just setting as Sirius left the Ministry, mentally exhausted and completely drained. Aurors didn't give detentions, he'd discovered. Detention was nothing compared to the exercises Doge had put himself and Alice through. By the end of the day, they'd both agreed that dueling in front of the Ministry was not something they would do again. Ever.

Sirius had hopped on his bike to fly home, but wasn't at all surprised when he ended up in front of the dilapidated building Remus lived in. He parked the bike and walked up the four flights of stairs, not trusting the lift. Magical it may be, but he wouldn't bet his life on the strength of the charms. He knocked and ducked into Remus's bedsit, and to his surprise saw two people at the table. Lily was still here.

She had her back to him, but he could see Remus. He was sitting at the table, an empty bowl in front of him and a blanket wrapped around his thin shoulders. And he was laughing, his mouth loose and open and his eyes bright and alert. Sirius smiled, his exhaustion rushing out of him at the sight that smile, especially as Remus's eyes landed on him and brightened even further.

"Oh, Sirius, you're here. We were beginning to wonder," Lily said. "I left some soup for you. Make sure Remus takes it easy tonight, will you?"

"Sure. Thanks, Lily."

Three words, but she heard the most important one, and she glowed. He wasn't imagining that. "All right then. I'd better get to the hospital. I'll see you both later." She gathered her things together and dropped a quick kiss on Remus's head, and then one on Sirius's cheek and left in a flash of red and green.

"She patched you up?" Sirius asked, helping himself to the soup on the stove and refilling Remus's bowl.

"Yeah. She did a pretty good job of it." Remus fiddled with his spoon. "Did James tell you she knows?"

"He just mentioned, yeah. He didn't go into details."

"Good."

"Hey Moony?"

"Yeah?"

"Alice knows, too."

Remus blinked at him. "Of course she does," he said. "I assume all the Aurors know. I'm sure Frank told her."

Sirius relaxed with relief. "Okay then." He shivered. "Got another blanket? It's chilly in here."

"There's another one on the bed," Remus gestured with his spoon.

Sirius retrieved the blanket and settled down at the table across from Remus, eating the soup Lily had made. "Not bad," he commented around a mouth of noodle and vegetables. "James is a lucky bloke."

"Yes," Remus agreed. "He is."

***

The wind had the first edge of cold in it when Sirius stopped by the Quidditch pitch the next night. He had to admit that it was really, really cool to walk into the Wimbourne Wasps' stadium and watch James zipping around with the rest of the team.

"Oi! Potter!" he called, waving his arms. He winced as his shoulder twinged in protest; Remus's twin bed was both too small and far from comfortable. "Get your arse down here!"

James swooped down, jumping off his broom as it slowed. "What?" he asked, unconsciously running his hand through his hair. "I'm working here!"

"Some work," Sirius drawled.

"Sirius, I don't come barging into the Ministry-"

"Potter!" someone shouted. "Get your arse back up in the air!" The man striding over to them was very familiar to Sirius. "I'm not paying you to stand around and chatter like a- Sirius?"

The pieces clicked together. "Afternoon, Ted," Sirius said casually, leaning on the bleachers. "Just fancied a chat with your new Chaser."

"Sirius," Ted said, rolling his eyes, but without the heat. "This is an actual practice and... oh, why am I wasting my breath? Five minutes."

"Tell Andromeda and Nymph I said hello!" Sirius shouted at Ted's retreating back. "Nymphadora. That still gets me every time. The poor kid is going to hate her parents."

"Sirius, as fascinating as this is, I doubt this is what you came here for," James said dryly. "And I do have to get back up to practice."

"You always were more serious about Quidditch," Sirius grumbled.

"Sirius, WHAT IS IT?" James shouted.

Sirius pulled himself together. "It's Lily," he said, looking James straight in the eye. "I'm ready to help you go get the ring."